The Pokemon Pokemon Trainer!
Start scene: Jessie and James are hiding in some bushes following Ash, Misty, and Brock. Meowth is tagging along behind, drawing something.
Jessie, "ready James?"
James, "got the sound ready, on three?"
Jessie, "it'll work."
Jessie and James, "1…2…3"
They jump out in front of Ash and co. just as their signature music starts.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth! That's right!"
Jessie looks around annoyed not seeing the twerps anywhere. James taps her on the shoulder and points. They had just walked by, totally ignoring Team Rocket!
Jessie fumes, then yells, "No one ignores Team Rocket!"
Team Rocket starts chasing after the heroes, who run. Seconds later they're all in yet another city. Ash and co turn around, Pikachu getting ready for a thundershock and Team Rocket about to let loose their Pokemon.
Just then a commercial comes on a large TV mounted on a building, for a Pokemon lottery. "We're raising money for charity, so come in to the Pokemon lottery! We will be giving out 5 Pokemon to the lucky winners! Today's Pokemon are, a Growlithe, a Bulbasaur, a Sea King, a Pikachu, and a mystery Pokemon!" It goes on to talk about the good cause the money is going to and how they hope all the Pokemon will get good homes.
Ash thinks that it might be worth a shot, and turns around to blast Team Rocket, except they're not there!
Jesse, James and Meowth run up to the desk selling tickets, they have to fight through quite a few devoted Pokemon lovers, but they do get there. Jesse puts on her "sweet mode" and asks how much the tickets are and how many each person can buy. After finding out a person can only have two and that the tickets are relatively inexpensive Team Rocket gets in a huddle.
Jessie says, "most of these are rather common Pokemon, but what about the mystery one?"
James looks dreamy and says, "It could be a Dratini, or a Lapras, or another rare Pokemon!"
Meowth says, "Or it could be another common-as-dirt Pokemon." J &J promptly smash him.
Jesse and James run up and buy 2 tickets each. Then deciding to cheat some, they disguise themselves and dress Meowth up as a munchkin and buy more. They get in new disguises somehow fooling the ticket booth person each time, until they have a total of 28 tickets. At that point they decide not to push their luck.
Just then Ash and Misty come up and each buy a ticket, saying they love to help a good cause. Misty has to 'prompt' Ash into 'admitting' this though. After some prompting they get Brock to buy one too.
Team Rocket sits there looking at their cards memorizing the numbers. An hour later the winning numbers are called. Jesse and James frantically look through the tickets, not winning a single one. Jessie says, "Oh well, we wanted the mystery one anyway."
Just then the loudspeaker comes on for the mystery Pokemon.
"8…4…7…2…1…7…0…1!"
Jesse and James sigh and slump over depressed at wasting their money. Behind them they hear a shout, "Whoah?! I won? Cool!" Jesse and James snap around, and discover to their horror, Brock!
Brock heads over to the building, and Team Rocket agrees to steal the Pokemon. Ash and Misty follow him, but a volunteer for the event stops them, saying that only the winners can go in.
Jessie and James make their way to the roof, planning to jump down, snatch the Pokeball and run for it. They figured it was brilliant since they set up a tape recorder nearby. It would play the motto, and while the heroes were standing around, they'd make their move.
Brock walks up to the door, and promptly turns red, there's a Nurse Joy! She says, "So you're the player who won the mystery Pokemon?" Brock smiles and says, "Yes…yes I was." Nurse Joy says, "Now, you will take care of it, and bring it to my cousins and sisters regularly won't you?" Brock says, "Of course, I care a lot about Pokemon and wouldn't let one get ill." Joy smiles, says she believes him and takes him in.
Jessie and James are still waiting, James is holding a remote control for the recorder. Jessie starts looking annoyed and asks what's taking so long. James points out Ash and Misty and they duck low. Brock walks out, and is greeted by his friends.
Jessie, "Ok James, hit it!"
Ash and co. sigh as soon as they hear the TR music. They look around for them but can't seem to find them even as the motto hits "To protect the world from devastation!" Just then Team Rocket sees their chance and jumps down. Jessie snatches the Pokeball and starts running, Meowth turns to raspberry the heroes, and James trips over him. Crashing in a heap, Team Rocket watches helplessly as the pilfered Pokeball rolls back to Brock.
Brock says, "Time to see who this is!" and releases the Pokeball.
Jessie frees herself at the exact moment, throws a Pokeball yelling "Go Arbok!"
Jessie's hits the ground first; Ping! "Charbok!"
Brock's hits the ground a second after; Ping! "Charbok!"
Everyone looks shocked as they see the two Arboks looking each other over. Brock's Arbok is noticeably bigger, a deeper purple and has brighter coloration on its hood.
Brock's new Arbok goes a little pink in the face and slithers over to Jessie's. It coils very loosely about Jessie's Arbok and says, "Char, Charbok. Bok" in a tone not unlike Brock when he sees a Nurse Joy.
Jessie gets a slightly grossed out look on her face and says, "No…please no…" Jessie's Arbok looks around frantically, confused by Brock's new Pokemon. Brock's Arbok moves a little closer, "Charbok?" At this Jessie's Arbok's eyes get big and it jumps away. Jessie's Arbok whips its tail around and slaps Brock's Arbok around a little. Then it slithers over to Jessie.
"That was a waste of time" comments Meowth as Team Rocket walks away in confusion.
Brock's new Pokemon slithers over to Brock and slumps over, looking incredibly rejected, "Char…bok." Brock pats it on the back of its hood and says, "I feel your pain pal…I know just how you feel…"
Jessie was sitting with her pokeball looking worried. James walked up and sat down by her, she didn't notice. Jessie turned the pokeball over and made a sigh as she half pet it.
"What's wrong Jessie?"
"Arbok won't come out, it's stayed in its pokeball for days."
Meowth buts in, "It's probably worried about Brock being around."
James made a hmm sound and appeared in deep thought.
Meowth says, "Don't strain yourself there James."
Jessie smashed Meowth's head.
"OW! What you do that for? I wasn't insulting you!" whined Meowth.
Jessie glared and said, "I'm in a bad mood, I did it on general principle."
James stretches out his hand for the pokeball and Jessie slowly gives it over. James steps back a little and whispers to Arbok inside its pokeball.
The audience can just barely hear James, "Come on out Arbok, no ones going to hit you….no, Brock isn't here….his Arbok either….of course you can trust me." "Jessie! Tell Arbok that Brock isn't here….or his Arbok." Jessie confirms it, and James goes back to talking to Arbok, "See? Nothing to worry about. Why does it scare you so badly anyhow? …oh, oh I see. *snickers* Don't worry Arbok, *snickers* come on out and have some breakfast!"
Ping! The ball opens and Arbok starts to materialize, basically sticking its head out, then it goes back in. Jessie frowns and says, "See? Nothing will make it come out…although you did better than I did…" she sighs and slumps over.
Meowth picks up Arbok's ball and smacks it into things yelling, "GET OUT HERE NOW OR I'M COMIN' IN AFTER YA!!!"
Next something really confusing happened, but the short of it is, Meowth got inside the pokeball. The small ball bounced wildly as the audience hears violent sounds coming from the ball. Next the ball cracks open and Meowth flies out propelled by Arbok's tail. Meowth hops back up and charges, "WHY YOU I OUGHTA…" *smack!*
Jessie towers over Meowth and scolds, "Arbok's had a very traumatic week! Leave it alone!!"
James pulls out his pokeballs and releases Weezing and Victreebell. The Pokemon look around confused, and James points to Arbok's pokeball, "Arbok won't come out, see if you can calm her down." Weezing floats over and starts talking in Pokemon, Victreebell adds very little to the conversation, but after a while Arbok comes out.
Jessie happily hugs Arbok and gets its food, Arbok being cold blooded doesn't need to eat everyday, but it had missed the routine of breakfast with its friend Weezing, its trainer and her friend and that…annoying Pokemon/person/cat, Arbok could never decide which it was.
Meowth sits down and pulls out some paper and a pencil. He works a while and grins, saying, "It's done!"
James comes out of nowhere, "What is?"
Meowth hides it behind his back and says, "Nothing! Get out of here you nosy little imbecile!" James says, "I've seen you drawing something ever since that day Brock got an Arbok, what is it?" Meowth fury swipes him, but James grabs Meowth, and pins him down with his foot. Meowth struggles as James opens his notebook, to find an interesting picture. "Meowth? What is this? Do you want to become a Pokemon trainer?" Meowth looks embarrassed as James looks at Meowth's picture of himself with pokeballs, Pokemon and badges. Meowth sighs and says, "Yeah…I never really thought of it before, but lately another career has looked more and more appealing."
James smiles, lets Meowth go and gives his notebook back, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Meowth breaths a sight of relief as James walks away. As soon as James is out of hearing range he snickers and says, "A Pokemon that's a Pokemon trainer? Poor Meowth must have head trauma!"
Shortly afterwards Team Rocket is in a town following Ash, Misty and Brock waiting for a chance to try to steal Ash's Pikachu. Ash walks over to a store window that's displaying TVs, currently playing is an ad for starting Pokemon trainers to get their first Pokemon. Ash says something about remembering when they did the same thing in his town. In the background Meowth watches J & J, determines they aren't looking and runs off. As soon as the trio turns around, there's Team Rocket.
"Prepare for trouble"
"Make it double"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
J & J look confused at Meowth missing his line, look around and look at each other. They anime sweat drop, and then together, "Meowth! That's right!"
Ash snickers, and says, "Ok guys, that was pushing the borders of 'lame' there, and that's saying a lot because ever since I met you they've receded quite a bit."
James looks confused, and Jessie hits him, "He's calling us really lame you ding dong!"
Team Rocket sends out their Pokemon…all four, and the heroes respond.
"Go Bulbasaur!" Ping! "Bulbasaur!"
"Go Staryu!" Ping! "Psyduck!"
"Go Onix!" Ping! "Charbok!"
Misty and Brock yell together, "I didn't call YOU out!!" "Char?" "Psy?"
Brock whispers to Misty, "You know, if this keeps up, pretty soon Ash will appear to be the most competent of the group." They both look bummed out as they contemplate this idea.
Misty shoos Psyduck and says, "You might as well give it a try."
Brock says, "Ok Arbok, I don't know your level, so lets find out, just…don't look at Jessie's Arbok."
Naturally Arbok looks over its sho…uh…it looks backwards. The two Arboks look each other in the eye and both snap around 180 degrees with a slightly pink color in the face.
Brock and Jessie look over their Pokemon at each other and give a shrug.
Jessie orders Likitung after Bulbasaur and tells Arbok to wrap Psyduck. Ash has Bulbasaur use razor leaf, the brunt of which hits Likitung. Weezing takes a few hits, but Likitung falls over from the attack. Arbok looks at Psyduck, and heads over for it slowly, Brock's Arbok and it catch glances again, and Jessie's Arbok immediately speeds up.
Brock sends his Arbok after Victreebell, Arbok raps, and bites it, but starts staring at Jessie's Arbok and gets beat. Jessie's Arbok is wrapping around Psyduck, who doesn't look too good. Arbok sits there constricting to beat Psyduck, seeing how only its head is exposed Arbok isn't willing to attack it. Bulbasaur beats Weezing, and Brock sends out Vulpix to beat Victreebell. Psyduck faints, and Arbok poison stings Vulpix, knocking it out.
Brock's Arbok wearily gets up and appears to be in la-la land. Jessie's Arbok gives Jessie a worried look as it slithers by Brock's Arbok. Arbok looks back and forth between Arbok and Jessie, and decides to take after its master. Arbok smacks Arbok in the head and goes back to Jessie.
"Not bad Arbok, all that's left is this Bulbasaur, get it!"
Bulbasaur uses solar beam just then and sends Team Rocket flying into the distance. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"
Meowth is at the local Pokemon center, five other trainers have just gotten their first Pokemon, pokeballs and pokedexes. The person at the desk says "Next" and Meowth hops up to the table.
"What is going on here?!"
"I want to be a Pokemon trainer, why else would I be here?"
"WHAAHA!?!?!" *falls over* "A talking Meowth?! A talking Meowth that wants to train Pokemon?!?!"
Meowth glares, and the person laughs. "But you're a Pokemon!"
Meowth gets annoyed, and scratch attacks him. "So, are you discriminating then?"
The person looks confused and says, "Well, it's never happened before, but…I suppose weirder has happened…somewhere."
Meowth goes into the back room and soon emerges with Pokeballs, one full and a Pokedex. Meowth looks at the Pokedex and says, "I don't need this" and tosses it away.
Meowth walks out and a charred mass smashes into the ground right in front of him.
"Let me guess, didn't catch the Pikachu?" asks Meowth.
The charred heap replies, "How'd you know?" Another section of the charred mess hits the part that just said something so stupid.
James says, "Oh no…Meowth you did it?!"
Meowth says, "Yeah, so what?"
Jessie looks Meowth over and says, "You're training Pokemon?"
Meowth hops in her face and yells, "What is so weird about it?! I will make the perfect Pokemon trainer!"
James asks, "Do you have one yet?"
Meowth hugs his pokeball and answers, "Yes, and it's the very best one! It's the cutest and smartest type!"
Meowth tosses it; Ping! "Meowth!"
Jessie and James fall over with an 'Arg' sound.
"How's about a friendly Pokemon match guys?" asked Meowth.
Jessie and James shake their heads with a touch of shame. Meowth scratch attacks them, "Well?"
Jessie kicks Meowth into a nearby tree and sends out Arbok. "Charbok!"
Meowth pulls back his pokeball and says, "Meowth! I choose Meowth!" Ping: "Meow?"
"Meowth, get ready to use your fury swipes!" "Meowth!"
Jessie snickers and shouts at Arbok to attack. Arbok lunges at the Meowths, scattering them. Meowth yells, "Now!" The Meowth flies towards Arbok's face claws out. Arbok glares at Jessie's command and the Meowth falls down short. Arbok goes to bite Meowth but glare wears off and Meowth rolls away. Meowth sticks out its claws and they tear into Arbok as the great snake flies past. Arbok winces looking at the bright streaks down its side.
"Finish it with da fury swipes Meowth!" yells Meowth and Meowth lunges into action. Jessie tells Arbok to go underground, and Meowth flies over Arbok. "Quick Meowth, bite attack!" Meowth bites Arbok's tail just before it disappears. Arbok jumps a little, smacking its head into the dirt above. Meowth starts chomping on Arbok a little more and the snake digs down again, dragging Meowth with it.
Half a minute passes as everyone waits for Arbok to burst out of the ground. Arbok flies out, Meowth still on its tail. "CHARBOK!!" *wham!* *slam!* Arbok desperately tries to throw Meowth off. It finally succeeds after smashing Meowth's head into a rock. Arbok hisses menacingly, quite annoyed, Jessie tells it to use poison sting. Just before Arbok lets loose with it Meowth comes in and tags his Meowth. Meowth jumps with Meowth just avoiding the attack. Meowth hops back in and says, "I'll show ya for pickin' on a Meowth!" Arbok snaps at Meowth, who dodges, Meowth comes down on Arbok's head and scratches the heck out of it. Arbok falls over, with those spiral eyes.
Jessie fumes, pulls back Arbok and sends out Likitung. "That was cheating Meowth! Trainers can't get involved!"
Meowth says, "Nuh-uh, the rules say, 'only Pokemon can participate in Pokemon battles.' What I did was purr-fectly legal!"
Jessie looks annoyed, "Stupid loopholes…" James says to Meowth, "That's called using the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law." Jessie and Meowth smack him around a bit.
Meowth jumps at Likitung and just misses being whacked by its tongue. Jessie tells Likitung, "Stomp on that idiot Meowth!" Likitung smashes Meowth's head with a blow. Likitung looks to Jessie for further instructions; "Disable attack!" Likitung nods, turns around, and gets slashed in the face. Likitung staggers back, more from shock than anything else, and then is knocked down by a bundle of coins. Meowth smiles, and jumps at Likitung. "Wrap attack him now!" Likitung snatches Meowth up with its tongue and starts to squeeze him. Meowth panics screaming in disgust and pain. The Meowth hops up, Meowth holds out his hand, and they tag, Meowth's Meowth hops onto Likitung's head and fury swipes it repeatedly.
Jessie calls Likitung back and hangs her head, obviously embarrassed. "Why can't we just go back to stealing Pokemon?"
Meowth answers, "We don't have enough strong Pokemon to do it, so I'm gonna raise 'em to help us!"
Meowth went into the woods to capture wild Pokemon, telling Jessie and James to stay put. He is currently on the trail of a Spearow.
James, "Well, it's actually quiet now."
Jessie, "Yeah, it's rather nice to have Meowth gone."
James, "I don't want to stay here and wait for that fleabag all day."
Jessie, "Me neither, want to just go have a picnic?"
James looks up from cringing, "uh…why not?" And Jessie and James walk off camera, and we will take our leave of them.
"So Meowth, have ya got de battle plan down?" "Meowth!" *enthusiastic nod*
Spearow lands a moment and pecks at the ground, it had been a nice, quiet day, and then this rather large roll of coins fell from the sky and rather upset Spearow. "CAW!!!" Spearow snapped around squawking angrily. Spearow started to slow down from exhaustion after being unable to find the perpetrator. Then, a Meowth jumped it from behind. "SQUAWK!!" Meowth jerked two feathers off of its head and jumped back, allowing the enraged Spearow to advance. TR Meowth then jumped into its side knocking it off balance, and Meowth jumped it with scratch and bite attacks. Meowth pulled back, and TR Meowth tossed a pokeball at Spearow.
Spearow somehow dodged, and the pokeball kept on going, Ping! TR Meowth and Meowth walk over to the pokeball. "Meowth-eowth?" "I don't know, it musta caught somethin'" TR Meowth picks up the Pokeball and lets it go; Ping! "Meowth!"
TR Meowth looks back and forth between his Meowths and gives an exasperated sigh.
Meowth returns to the Rocket balloon to find Jessie and James in bad shape. "What happened to you two?"
James, with his back to Jessie, snarls, "We got in a fight."
Jessie growls, "you could say that, or you could call it a death match, either way works," while deliberately looking away from James.
Meowth asks, "With who?"
"EACH OTHER YOU STUPID CAT!!!"
Meowth asks them questions and manages to derive that Jessie got mad at James, and swung her mallet at him but he grabbed it and smacked her in the face. Afterwards chaos broke out and they were pulled away by their Pokemon.
James asks "Well, did you catch any more Pokemon Meowth?"
Meowth looks nervous and says, "Yeah…"
"What type?"
"A Meowth…"
"What? Another one?"
"Yes, Meowths go!" Ping! Ping! "Meowth!" "Meowth!"
"I need to think up some nick names for 'em to eliminate some confusion."
"Meow?" "Eowth?" "Yes, I want to give you nicknames, it'd simply be confusing if we had three 'Meowths.'"
"Meowth meow, meow, eowth!" TR Meowth sweat drops and the newly caught Meowth breaks into a hysterical laughing fit. TR Meowth says, "Uh, no I don't think anyone else is going to call you that…"
Jessie asks, "What? What it say?"
"He says, he wants to be called 'Big Sexy Stud Muffin'" the other Meowth cracks up even more and the Meowth requesting a nickname now looks horrifyingly embarrassed, turning bright red.
Jessie and James exchange nervous glances, then turn the other way remembering that they aren't speaking to each other.
James asks, "Why is that one finding it so funny?"
Meowth sweats and says, "Er…well, she…is, well a she."
Jessie smirks and stifles a giggle. Jessie looks at the female Meowth and asks, "Well, do you have a reasonable nickname?"
"Meowth! Meow, eowth meow" says the Meowth in between chuckles. Jessie asks Meowth, "Translation?"
Meowth says, "She said; 'Yes! I always liked the sound of Susan.'"
The female Meowth talks to Meowth a little more, and Meowth adds, "She says Jessica would actually be her first choice but she knows that'd be confusing."
The dejected Meowth talks to Meowth a little more, and they agree to the nickname Big Steve.
Half an hour later Jessie and James are waiting on a log. They occasionally shoot each other evil glances but for the most part twiddle their thumbs. Then Meowth is heard yelling "Ok, we're ready!" Jessie and James sit up to see whatever it is Meowth is doing.
The three Meowths hop on a stage simultaneously, each wearing silly looking Musketeer costumes. "Ta-da! We are the amazing Meowth-kateers!"
Jessie and James laugh at them, but stop as soon as three little swords are pulled out at exactly the same moment and pointed menacingly at them. Meowth smiles and says, "Let's go get 'dem brats shall we?" Meowth returns his Meowths to their pokeballs and Team Rocket goes off in search of 'Team Twerp.'
Ash and co walk in to the Pokemon center to heal their Pokemon who are a little worse for wear thanks to battles. A Chansey walks up and starts asking away, Ash answers it. "No, not serious at all, we can probably go without revitalizing them for a while yet." Chansey laughs to itself and warns them that this Pokemon Center is housing the black sheep of the Nurse Joy family, Ash says that they don't care and Chansey leads them to a desk.
A large, hairy figure walks up to the counter, introducing itself in a rough, deep voice, "Hello, I'm Nurse Joy." Ash and co scream and run away very quickly not stopping for the wall, or three blocks. They sit on the sidewalk panting, Brock looks the most disturbed. "That didn't just happen, did it?!?!" The three decide that they can wait for the next town.
Nurse Joy walks out of the back and snickers a bit, "Good one bro! I've been wanting to do that to someone ever since you got here!" Her brother, the black sheep of the family naturally, laughs and says, "Sure thing sis, those looks were priceless!"
Ash says, "Come on, the shore's not that far off, then after that, Cinnabar Island!"
Misty and Brock sigh at Ash--never slows down, never learns.
Just then the familiar Team Rocket intro music came on.
"NO!! Not twice on the same day! AGAIN!!!"
"Prepare for trouble."
"Make that double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE ALREADY!!" *Smash!*
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
Meowth flies in, "Resistance is futile!" *smacks himself on the head* "Wrong line…Meowth dat's right!" Jessie and James try to hide their faces, then Jessie kicks him.
"YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LINE!! *ONE* LINE!! *HOW* CAN YOU MESS THAT UP!?!?"
Ash looks at the two Pokeballs Meowth has on his belt and inquires.
"I'm a Pokemon trainer now!"
Ash laughs and says, "A Pokemon Pokemon Trainer?"
Meowth jump kicks him and yells, "WHAT IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE ABOUT THIS CONCEPT?!?!?"
Ash rubs his nose and says, "You'll pay for that Meowth!" Brock pulls out a pokeball, as does Misty.
"Go Bulbasaur!" Ping! "Bulbasaur!"
"Go Starmie!" Ping! "Psyduck!" "NOOO…Psyduck…grrr."
"Go….Arbok?" Ping! "Charbok!" Brock asks Arbok, "Is it just me or do you keep on trading pokeballs with Geodude so you get called out when Team Rocket attacks?" "Char…Bok…" it answers guiltily.
"Go Ar…Likitung!" Ping! "Likitung!"
"Go Weezing!" Ping! "Weezing!"
"Go Susan! Go Big Steve!" Ping! Ping! "Meowth!" "Meowth!"
The good guys sweat drop and fall over. "What? Sheesh!"
Ash picks himself up and grins somewhat evilly, "You can handle this can't you Pikachu?"
"Pika!"
Ash commands Pikachu to get ready for a thunderbolt, and at the exact same moment the Meowths hit a pose.
"Meowths, Tri-Pay-Day attack!" yells Meowth as the gold charms on each of their heads start to glow. Each gold charm fires a gold blast that soon turns into a bundle of coins. Each coin roll smashes into Pikachu's head and coins explode all over the place. Pikachu spins around on his foot and falls over.
Ash pulls Pikachu over and kind of growls at Meowth. "Go Char….uh…(sorts through Pokeballs)…Bulbasaur!"
Brock and Misty return the "unwanted" pokemon to their balls. Brock throws out Vulpix and Misty throws out Psyduck...again.
Misty screams in frustration, "EVERY time!! Every freaking time!!! Psyduck return!" Misty returns Psyduck, takes a marker and writes "Warning: Psyduck" on the pokeball.
Jessie and James send out Arbok and Weezing, as usual, and send them out to attack. Weezing puts up a smokescreen, which unwisely blinds all members involved, but Team Rocket never seems to catch on to this…or anything else for that matter. Arbok fights Bulbasaur while Weezing goes into a repeat tackling match with Starmie.
"Vulpix, get ready to use flame-thrower!"
Jessie and James look decidedly worried, but the Meowths jump on Vulpix, each scratching like mad. Vulpix toasts Meowth and singes "Big Steve" but falls over, beaten. Brock says, "Ok, I've had enough of this… (carefully looks at pokeballs) GOOO Onix!!"
Ping! "GRONIX!!!"
Team Rocket: "AAAHHH!!!"
Onix tackles Weezing sending it flying into the next county. Onix smashes his tail down on the Meowths scattering them, and turns his attention to Arbok. The terrified cobra screamed as Onix barreled towards it and at the very last second its eyes flashed an eerie blue and Onix stopped where it was. The three Meowths fire pay day attack at the rock snake causing it to tip over backwards. The good guys scream and run out of the way, but Bulbasaur doesn't quite make it and gets his foot trapped "BULBA! BULBA!!"
Ash runs over and tries to lift Onix up, but is quickly wrapped by Arbok. Arbok slides back over to Team Rocket still holding Ash.
Jessie smirks evilly, "Hand over the Pikachu, or you'll see your friend here squeezed to death."
Pikachu starts to stir, and falls back over, "Pika…."
Misty and Brock look nervously at each other, not quite sure what to do. Ash tells them not to give them Pikachu, and at that Jessie makes Arbok wrap him tighter. Misty looks back and forth incredibly worried, she reaches over to Pikachu and picks him up.
Misty looks at them, "Let Ash go first you creeps."
Meowth laughs at her and says, "Why should we trust you any more than you trust us?"
Misty glares, "We're the good guys, our word is supposed to mean something."
Ash mutters something about Pikachu but is cut off by Arbok wrapping harder.
Misty looks sad and asks Pikachu "What do we do?"
Pikachu gives Misty enough of a jolt to make her drop him, and fires a monster thunderbolt at Team Rocket. All of Team Rocket spasms in pain under the attack, and Arbok faints, letting go of Ash. The only problem is Ash is charred a nice, toasty, black color.
Pikachu glares menacingly at Team Rocket, and they start to back up a little. All of a sudden Meowth's Meowths wrap Pikachu up in a rubber rope and leap over to Team Rocket. Meowth laughs and pats his Pokemon on the back, "Looks like you're out of luck no matter what you do!"
Pikachu starts firing electricity wildly through the gaps in his casing, this works out for the worst though as Misty had just sent out her Pokemon. Now they're lying on the ground not looking much better than Ash. "Big Steve" falls over from electrocution injuries, but Jessie and James send out Victreebell and Likitung.
Brock sends out Geodude and Zubat, while Ash is too smoked to do anything than fall over. Jessie jerks Ash up by his hair and holds him in front of her like a shield.
Zubat fires supersonic, causing Likitung to beat the crap out of Meowth, but "Susan" jumps into Zubat and scratches the heck out of it. Geodude smashes a gravel fist into Likitung, effecting a 1-hit-KO, but Victreebell mauls Geodude putting him out of commission. Brock doesn't send Arbok out for fear of it seeing the extra crispy side order of Team Rocket's Arbok.
James smiles, patting "Susan" and returning Victreebell before it can bite him. "Team Rocket has finally won! You kids are out of Pokemon and Pikachu is ours!"
Jessie and James share a maniacal laugh at the heroes' expense.
Out of nowhere Ash springs back to life, biting Jessie's hand. She yelps in pain and screams about a ruined manicure while Ash runs up to James. James lifts up a fist to smack Ash over the head, but bowls over as Ash kicks him in an…shall we say, unpleasant spot?
Ash grabs Pikachu and pulls him free, then sends out Pidgeotto and Squirtle. James sends out Victreebell and Meowth tells "Susan" to listen to J & J before passing out again. James says, "You don't have us beat yet!" "Susan" leaps into the air and takes down Pidgeotto--hey, cat vs. bird.
Victreebell takes Squirtle's attack and takes it down with a vine whip barrage. Ash starts to charge forward, but is stopped short by a fierce slapping barrage from Jessie. Pikachu looks up wearily and tries unsuccessfully to fire an electric attack.
Jessie continues to smack Ash around screaming at him for biting her. Ash falls down, unable to do anything about the attack. Brock had moved to help but James got him and the two were fighting.
Misty sighs, "Ash…can't do a dang thing by himself." Jessie puts her foot on Ash and gives an evil laugh. "This will teach you to mess with Team Rocket" she says as she starts digging her nasty high heel into his gut. Out of nowhere Misty lands on her head and starts ballistically smashing Jessie with her fists. Jessie stumbles, and starts fighting Misty. Jessie has a considerable size and strength advantage, but Misty is in a complete berserker mode.
Victreebell wraps Pikachu and starts to carry him over to Team Rocket again. Brock sees and sends out his last pokeball. Ping! "Charbok!"
"well, Arbok you haven't done a single useful thing yet, it's your turn!" Arbok wraps "Susan" and knocks the cat out cold. Arbok then moves to fight Victreebell, who puts down Pikachu. The two go into a fierce combat, and off to the side a badly burned cobra watches with a slightly dreamy look, apparently, an Arbok can be "cute"…at least to another Arbok.
Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu are thrown a good distance and Arbok is defeated. Team Rocket laughs, "One Pokemon vs. zero. We win after all kid, now just don't make this any harder on yourself than it has been!"
Ash and co look worried, Team Rocket had beat them? They had insulted the writer in previous fan fictions not submitted to outside viewers, but they didn't take him to hold a grudge…
Jessie starts to walk over when a strange can appears in Ash's hand, "What is that?" Ash looks at the can and smiles, "Editing mistake in our favor!" Ash turns to Brock, "Got a can-opener." Team Rocket looks over worried, and their fears are confirmed, they can read Whu_ A__ on the can, the rest blocked by Ash's thumb, but it was obvious, that it was the infamous can… Ash cracked the can open and the most volatile substance in existence, guaranteed to end a fight in 1.5 seconds gushed out, smashing Team Rocket into the distance.
"Looks like Team…" Ping! Gone already.
Ash and co looked amazed, and a few seconds later TR flew overhead "…off again!!" CRASH!!! They landed miles away, but Ash and friends still felt the impact.
Ash muttered an amazed "Whoa…" and looked at the second label '100% concentration'
And so, our heroes continue on their journey, just having literally cracked open a can of Whup-Ass all over Team Rocket. Who knows what will happen to them, Team Rocket, and Meowth, the most unique Pokemon trainer in the world. I certainly hope they appreciate this, I wanted to use that can joke on something else, and I don't like to repeat my jokes. Ash winks and says, "Sure 'Mr.' Narrator, we appreciate it!"
The End.