"Noel, are you sure about this? I don't know if Kagura will really appreciate us misappropriating one of his private rooms." Noel had just informed Tsubaki of the group's plan for Carl's upcoming 18th birthday. They had been tasked with finding a good location.

"Tsubaki, does Kagura have to know what it's for? We're all in the city any way, so it seems like the ideal place to me." Kagura knew they were here, but they had made sure he was out of his mind with booze before they began their recce. Hibiki was in on the plan, and understood why Kagura absolutely must not know; it was for his own safety.

"Err..here how about this one?"

Noel shrugged, "Fine. After you." Tsubaki sighed and opened the door. It was pretty big and well lit. It would suit their purposes just fine.

BGM: Marionette Purple

The next day, May 5th

Ōkoto Aerodrome

Carl Clover was strolling through the streets of 1st Integral City of Ōkoto, lost in his thoughts. He'd been summoned to a private audience with Kagura Mutsuki regarding his recent bringing in of the wanted hoodlum known to the authorities as 'Deathsinger', a most odd fellow with a penchant for needless theatrics, and why the wretch was missing several bits of his body. Carl wasn't too sure if 'resisting arrest' would be sufficient reason to justify why the guy would now be singing several octaves higher than before.

But that wasn't at the forefront of his mind. What was more of a downer was that it was his birthday today and nobody had made any mention of it in the preceding weeks. While normally this wouldn't really bother him, this was his 18th. One would have though that your 18th deserved going the extra mile, but clearly not.

"Ah, there you are Carl!"

Huh? Oh, miss Noel. Hello, what brings you here?"

Of all the people, he never expected to run into Noel Vermilion. It cheered him up a little regardless.

"Heh, funnily enough I was sent to escort you. Please follow me."

Kagura's sending Noel as an escort? That seems a little odd in my opinion. Something doesn't add up here. She's not in any form of uniform. Indeed, she was wearing a cream blouse with navy skirt and sandals.

"Shall we?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Of course." Noel seems a little too chipper for such a call. Something's definitely going on here.

And still no one's mentioned my birthday.

"Shhhhhh, I think he's coming now!"

Tsubaki had just caught Carl's voice on the edge of her hearing. She was wearing a long green dress. Noel had been sent to go get him, and they'd just finished sticking up the last of the decorations. Everything was set.

"So what exactly brings you here? I'm afraid Kagura was a little vague with the details." Noel lead Carl through the corridors of Kagura's manse.

"Oh...something about a bounty I completed recently. And you? I didn't know you worked for Kagura now."

"Oh, I don't. He just asked it as a favour and I happened to not be busy."

A likely story.

After more idle chit-chat Noel stopped at a large wooden door.

"Ah, here we care. Please wait inside and help yourself if you're hungry"

Not in his office? This is way too informal to be an official reprimand. He grabbed hold of the handle.

The door opened, and the assembled crowd shouted in unison, "SUPRISE!" Carl was speechless.

I thought everyone had forgotten.

"I...I...I don't know what to say." In the middle of the room lay a buffet table filled with cuisine from around the world, able to suit anyone's taste; Chicken legs, Sausage rolls, Salads, Barbeque ribs, fried rice, pasta, curries and chillies. And the centre piece was a massive chocolate cake, quite possibly the biggest Carl had ever come across. Obviously that had been Tsubaki's choice. To ensure everyone got to enjoy it, they had taken the precaution of leashing Taokaka to the wall; Litchi would ensure she took no more than her fair share.

"Compliments to Ragna, Litchi and Valkenhayn for the buffet." Tsubaki gave him a hug and kiss. Ragna wore a red button-up shirt with dark blue jeans. Litchi a red blouse with white slacks. Valk was in his usual get-up.

"I have to ask; the summons to see Kagura. That was faked wasn't it? It just seems a little beneath Kagura's notice for him to want to see me personally."

"Yes. That was Tsubaki's little touch." Noel confirmed. Tsubaki giggled and winked at him.

Carl looked aaround. While there were a lot of people he knew here, it seemed incomplete..something important was missing, "Is...is miss Makoto coming?"

Tsubaki sighed, "Sadly, she got called away on an assignment. She really wanted to be here, but...well, you know." Carl's heart'd been intending to tell Makoto of how he felt for some time, but always thought the age difference would put her off. Tonight, his 18th birthday, was the night he'd been gearing up to to make his move. And now...

Noel noticed Carl's face fall, "Hey, chin up Carl. The birthday cake is here." And what a cake it was. Easily 5 feet high and suitably wide. Easily big enough to...

Oh please, please let her be here.

Noel was egging him on, "Go on. Cut the cake, Carl" He sighed. If she was hiding in the cake, it was now or never to find out.

He got close enough to begin cutting the cake, when he was greted by an explosion of confetti, and followed by an explosion of a certain well endowed squirrel girl out of the cake.

"Tadah! Looking for me, Carl?"

"MAKOTO!"

Jin, wearing a pale blue shirt and black suit pants, caught Carl in a nuggie, "And the assignment was to be your entertainment for tonight. Enjoy."

BGM: The Full Monty (Tom Jones) - You Can Leave Your Hat On

Indeed, his favourite, well joint favourite, lady in the world had just erupted from the cake, wearing racy little red lingerie with matching stockings and suspenders. Carl's brain decided now was a really good time to take that long planned vacation, and let Mr Loins run things for a change.

"Okay, tie him up!" Ragna's voice.

"What? Hey!" Carl was grabbed by the arms by Bang and Jin and manhandled into a chair, whereupon Noel tied his hands behind the back while Tsubaki tied his ankles to the front legs. Noel gave a thumbs up.

"DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!" Came the shout of the crowd.

"You can look, but don't touch." she wagged her finger at him. A chorus of wolf whistles and cheers followed as Makoto gyrated in front of Carl, giving him a really good look at her butt. She removed his top hat and began twirling it, Cabaret style.

As she began to straddle his hips, she leant over him and whispered.

"I'm so, so sorry about this, Carl."

Carl's face was beetroot red. Was he trying to hide his excitement? Was he really just embarrassed? Even Carl didn't know that. Maybe he'd be able to figure it out once he grabbed a moment to himself.

BGM:Stardust Memory

Carl stood on the balcony, trying to catch a moment to himself. Half an hour had passed since he was...subjected to that. He was doing his damnedest to try and stop his mind going too far with what he's just seen. The cool breeze was helping a little.

"Hey Carl." It was Makoto, now out of the birthday girl outfit and in her party clothes; a black vest top, orange thigh length skirt, and calf length brown boots.

"Miss Makoto, I..."

She was quickly in his personal space, "How many times do I have to tell you Carl? No miss. Just Makoto." She smiled and leaned forward, giving him a champion shot of her cleavage. Carl was now certain she was doing it on purpose.

He collected himself, "Makoto, we've known each other for years now. You've always been someone who made me feel special, no matter what the world has thrown at me, us. Well, I don't know how to tell you this but...errrmmm...heheh...I..."

Makoto put a finger to his llips, before grabbing his cheeks and pulling his face to hers for a kiss. These days, Carl was taller than her now, so she had to reach. For a moment Carl was a rabbit in the headlights, not quite believing that the girl of his dreams was making out with him. She broke of when she realised that Carl wasn't responding. Luckily, Carl regathered himself and took the lead this time, beginning to grab her rear and squeezing those cheeks. She seemed to like it, as she deepened the kiss.

After what seemed like an hour, they stopped. Carl was grinning like a schoolboy in the sweetshop, "Do you know how long I've wanted this?"

Makoto smirked, "About as long as I have?" Carl was taken aback, "Why do think I've never had a boyfriend, eh?"

"Well, I've heard you and Kagura were..."

"Hey! I'd had a lot drink that night, and it was only the once. I broke his balls the next time he tried to make a move on me. And I don't think it takes a genius to figure out why he isn't here tonight." Forget whips and chains; baseball bats were more appropriate in those circumstances.

"And all the times I've seen you feelings up Noel and Tsubaki..."

"Yeah, I have a thing for girls too." He'd long suspected Makoto was bi, she obviously didn't care if Carl knew. "I absolutely adore those two, just not that way. Doesn't matter. Out of all of them, only one possible suitor looked past these..." she gestured to her breasts, "...and this.." gesturing to her tail, and muttering a string of obscenities about furries, "..and looked into this." She placed her palm over her left breast, over her heart. "One who loved Makoto Nanaya the person, not just...Makoto the sexual fetish."

Looked like she was as much difficulty as he was. Carl sighed and kissed her again. Just a light peck on the lips. For that, he was rewarded with perhaps the most beautiful smile she'd ever given him. Slightly bashful, vulnerable even.

"Oh don't stop now. We've got plenty of film left and were just getting to the juicy bit!" It was only at that point that they cottoned on that they'd gathered an audience. Ragna, Jin, Noel, Tsubaki and Litchi grinning like idiots, and Bang holding a camcorder and giving a thumbs up. Someone had obviously expected Bang would be unable to keep his mouth shut, so had stuck tape over it.

Makoto chuckled, shook her head and shooed them away, Once she was sure they were alone, she returned her attention to Carl, "How about, later on, we do this somewhere a little more...private? Something more...intimate?" She winked, before turning and leaving.

Did she just?...Oh my.

BGM: Comedy

Carl returned to see the door off its hinges, and sadly a familiar guy in a suit ."Oh, so I am at the right place. You know it was a real bitch to find."

"TERUMI!" Ragna screamed.

"Hey, you do that quite well Raggy. Maybe I should hire you follow me around and shriek my name whenever I enter a room."

"Who the hell invited you!?"

"Myself, of course. I heard there was a snazzy party going on and I thought to myself, " Hazama, old boy, you've just got to get yourself a piece of that action. Go on! You've been working hard lately. Treat yourself!" I mean, that's what Gate-crashing is, right?"

"Luckily, I anticipated your arrival." Rachel strutted out to meet him. "I have invited some guests of my own."

"Ooh, who could they be. Given they know you, they can't be that good."

"That would be us, shit-for-brains."

Terumi's face fell. Dotted around the room were several face he knew quite well.

Sol Badguy, who'd just addressed him, and cracking his knuckles.

Ky, Dizzy and Sin Kiske, having a conversation with Jin.

Milia Rage, who was speaking with Tsubaki.

Dr Faust, who seemed to be in charge of the party games.

Slayer, sat with Sharon in the corner, enjoying a good smoke

I-no, who was doing a sound check.

Jam Kuradoberi was in the kitchens, helping with the food.

Justice, having quite an animated argument with Hakumen

"Oh, so you brought in a few no-marks from that other series. Woopy-do." Rachel smiled; he was clearly in one of his 'I Want To Die' moods today.

"Hey hey hey!" Faust was calling him over, " You look like you're game for a game. Go on! Have a flutter!" Some doves flew out of his paper bag on cue. He covered his mouth. "Oh, do excuse me!"

"Oh sure, this'll be easy"

"Go on, pick a cup any cup!" Faust was giggling.

"Oh, okay. Lemme see..." Hazama had used Phantom's abilities before he'd arrived. He knew what was going to happen, "...This one!" He lifted the cup; a grim reaper.

"Huh?" This wasn't supposed to happen, he'd seen this before. It was DEFINITELY the angel.

"Pucker up!" Hazama then felt something pointy get rammed up his butthole. He ran around screaming, clutching his backside.

"Viva me!" Faust struck a pose.

"RrrrraaaAAAAAAGH!" Hazama's hat blew off, his hair spiked. Looked like Terumi had decided to come out to play. "Okay, enough bullshit. I've been shat on enough back in canon, so I'm not gonna sit back and let you make me look like an idiot AGAIN!"

"My dear boy, if I may be so bold, I would say that making you look like an idiot is hardly difficult." Slayer had decided to enter the conversation.

"Say what, you old relic? So which is looser? Your fidelity? Or granny Sharon's flaps?"

"Hmmm, charming as ever I see. Ah, miss Makoto Nanaya, truly beloved by all."

"Eh!? Oof!"

Makoto had just slugged him in the gut. "Sorry Yucky. No more contrived plot armour for you."

"My dear boy, did you ever wonder why you got...ahem...'shat on' in the last game? It's simply because you rely on much more competent individuals to do everything for you. Left to your own devices, nothing goes as planned. So really, as a main villain you're massively overrated."

"Fuck you!"

"Alas, some people never learn. Makoto my dear, would do this old man the honour if joining him for a dance?"

"Love to." She began slugging Terumi in the face rapidly 'AHTATATATATATATATATATA!"

"To The Stars!" Slayer and Makoto slugged him in the chin in unison, catapulting him into the ceiling, where he remained for several seconds.

"I remove my clothes

Devoid of reason and thought

Drenched in heavy sweat."

Slayer hymned with delicate diction. Makoto decided to get in on the fun

"On a vacation

With my corrupt congressman

Happily bankrupt."

DESTROYED!

"That..was...TERRIBLE!" Terumi managed as he inelegently extracted himself from the ceiling, before flopping on the floor. Slayer paused for a moment, before reaching inside his pocket, pulling out a notepad and pencil, and scribbling something down.

"Five syllables. Perfect. Thank you so very much for your assistance."

"Oh great, now I'm helping Stephanie Meyer here write poetry." Terumi struggled to his feet. He had noticed someone had slipped the label from the Punch onto his jacket. "Okay fuckwads. Real funny, who's idea was it so I can tear you apart and shit on your corpse!?"

"Me, dearest cheap imitation."

"Okay fuckface, just gimme gyaaAAAGH!" Stood before him was Gin Ichimaru, the silver haired fox, "Hiya!"

"Surely you can't be serious!?"

Gin sighed, "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley." It was just too good an opportunity to miss.

"Alright, no more bullshit! What the fuck are you doing here? I'd like to know before I send you home in a doggie bag!"

"Sadly, you can't. I'm working." He held out his badge; it read 'Security'. He folded his arms, "And, as a matter of fact, you are disturbing the other guests, so I will have to kindly ask you to leave the premises."

"Fuck you!"

"Pfft, suit yourself. Ikirose! Shinso!" Gin's zanpakuto burst out of sleeve, hooking Terumi by the collar and out of the open window. Terumi's screams finally faded as he was released and fell away to the ground below.

"Bye bye."

It was getting late and most people had retired for the night. Carl himself was getting pretty tired, so made his excuses and returned to his hastily booked hotel room; for convenience, most of the others had booked the same place. He sighed once he was inside and he'd turned the lock. It had definitely been a night to remember. He flicked on the lights.

"Hey there, handsome." A most sultry voice.

"What!?" Makoto was writhing on his bed, back in her dancer get-up from earlier. She gave him a 'come hither' gesture with her finger. Carl did as ordered, Makoto grabbed his tie and dragging his face to hers for another long kiss.

She got up, a mischievous grin on her face, "Okay, now we're alone. It's time for that private dance I promised earlier. This time, touching is allowed. In fact, it's actively encouraged."

Makoto led him to another seat before forcing him down. She was much stronger than him, so he knew better than to try to argue. Once he was seated, she brought her boobs to Carl's face, "Go on, I said touching was allowed." Carl did as asked and caressed them, Makoto giggling at the attention. She turned and seated herself on his lap. Carl began to rub her belly, before making his way back up to the chest. She snaked her arm back around his neck and leant her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed and cheeks flushed. Her breath was shuddery, "Go on, take it off."

"Makoto, I thought you didn't want to be seen this way by everyone."

"Carl, most people want to see nothing but this. You love me for who I am. Besides, none of the other guys here have a thing for me, they're already taken, so they probably haven't given this a second thought. Please, you've earned this."

Carl unclipped her bra and let it fall to the floor.

She turned and faced him, "Would you...spend the night with me?"

"Of course Makoto. It would be my pleasure."

Makoto grinned, "More than you know..."

The following morning

Carl woke first, fumbling around for his glasses. Makoto began to stir...wait, Makoto? Why is she? Did we?...oh, we did. She opened her eyes.

"Good morning, Makoto." He gave her another little kiss.

"Good morning Carl. Enjoy last night?"

"Of course. We happened. I'd say that was a good present."

"Present!? Oh crap! In all the buzz around the party, I forgot to get one. Rats...I'm so sorry Carl."

Carl laughed, "I don't need a present. I got you. We had last night."

That brought a laugh. "Aww, that's so romantic of you...and kind of sappy too."

"Awww...I though I was being gentlemanly. I won't bother next time."

"You were being you." Makoto rested her head on his shoulder. Carl smiled in contentment. Lying in bed with this girl...no, his girl. He couldn't think of much better ways to begin the day.

BGM: Flos

The pair were still feeling kind of lazy as they entered the dining hall for breakfast. Makoto saw Noel, Tsubaki, Ragna and some of the Jin seated in the far corner, and lead Carl over. They took their seats to amused glances from the rest; all said we know what you two got up to last night.

"So...Carl..." Ragna leaned back in his seat, folding his arms behind his head smirking with a cocked eyebrow, "Good night?"

Carl took a moment to decide how to word his reply, "Yes, very much so." Tsubaki leaned in, the better to get more juicy details, "I have invited Makoto to accompany me to the opera next week." Tsu's face fell with the lack of smutty revelations.

Makoto took Carl's hand in hers, "Naturally, I said yes."

"Whooop! Couple!" Noel punched the air. This was followed with further cheers.

"Well, I guess that just leaves you." Jin said to Noel. Noel went on guard, ready to be insulted, "To get a guy, I mean." He and Tsubaki had finally laid to rest any ambiguity regarding their relationship years ago. Ragna and Rachel had finally got past the 'hurling vitriol at each other' stage. That left Noel as the only one of their little cadre yet to even look like settling down. The only vaguely available man was Kagura, and there was no way in all of Hell that he was getting anywhere near her if any of them had any say in it.

"Meh...enough of that. This is for these two. So, cheers!"

In the midst of the cacophony, Makoto leaned in and gave him another kiss, "Happy Birthday, Carl Clover"

Fin.

All characters are property of AWS

Sans Gin Ichimaru, who is the property of Tite Kubo