Light Yagami was 5 minutes away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira needed to spend over 20 minutes in the bathroom fixing his hair every morning?
L gave a resigned sigh and fidgeted with the metal cuff encircling his wrist that linked him to the offending suspect. After nearly a week of spending every waking moment, which in L's case was almost every moment, with the boy L was really beginning to get sick of Light Yagami.
"How much longer is this process going to require?" L grumbled from the doorway. Light gave him an exasperated glare and then continued with the delicate process of ensuring he had just the right amount of gel controlling his smooth bronze locks.
"If you are trying to hold up this investigation with unnecessary rituals it only makes me suspect you that much more." L threatened and was rewarded with the usual sharp retort from Light.
"I've told you, I'm not Kira. What is your problem with me wanting to look presentable at work?" Light took a moment before assessing that he had applied the correct amount of gel. L's hopes were momentarily raised but quickly dashed when Light picked up yet another can of product from the sink.
"A man with your intellect should be aware of the useless nature of appearance. I myself spend minimal effort on it because it is pointless. And please don't give me a lecture on making a good impression as I am fairly certain that you have made your impression on the task force by now." L's impatience was obvious in his voice, encouraging the contrary Light to slow the process down further.
"I am concerned with how I appear because if I was to change my established habits I am sure that everyone would notice." Light did not take his eyes off of his own reflection as he spoke, his warm brown eyes transfixed by his own immaculate image.
"Why so worried about changing? Don't want to attract suspicion, because-" But L was quickly cut off from making his routine accusation.
"Don't start. I will take my time if I want to. And I want people to think that I am concerned with how they think of me. It is a sign of respect that I care about their opinion." Light said stiffly. L was silent after this, not wanting to admit defeat but not sure of how to continue. He could not stop one more outburst, however, when Light put down the can he had been using only to pick up yet another.
"How many chemicals are you going to use? This is the 4th one!" L exclaimed in despair. Light finally turned to face him, the can clutched in his hand like a weapon.
"The first one was for hydrating, the second was styling gel, the third one was for holding and this one is for shine. They all have a very distinct purpose and I would appreciate if you would stop harassing me. This will all go a lot faster if you keep your opinions to yourself." Light hissed and then sprayed a liberal amount of chemical on his head.
L was slightly awed by the sheer amount of things Light expected his hair to do. His own unruly mop usually did not more than sit on top of his head. He was perfectly content with this. He turned his gaze back to Light for a moment.
The teenager's long frame was still hunched over the mirror. Even in this pose he still looked graceful and elegant, his almost frighteningly thin legs perfectly still and his delicate hands gently shifting one strand of hair a fraction of an inch to the left, like it was surgery.
L suddenly felt the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that had been growing steadily for the past week. Had he remembered to even brush his teeth today? When was the last time he had taken a shower? It was frustrating not to remember and still more to be humiliated about something he did not even care about. He pushed the feeling away bitterly and tried not to think about it.
A knock came on the door to the room L shared with Light now. L moved to answer it but quickly realized that Light would most likely be moved to violence if his hand were to experience a sudden jerk at this point in hair styling.
"Are you guys ready yet because I got here early and I was wondering if you needed any help…" Matsuda's voice called from outside, sounding pathetically hopeful.
"I fear we will not be ready for some time, Matsuda. Light will be unable to cope without another 5 products in his hair." L drawled provoking an indignant gasp from Light.
"Hair products? Geez, I usually just wash my hair and let it be. I thought all that hair gel stuff was a little feminine." Matsuda said doubtfully and L felt reassured.
"It is not always feminine! Plenty of men-" But it was Light's turn for his rant to be cut off.
"I have observed that you are not a particularly masculine man Light. Pairing this with my observation that you are not attracted to Misa leads me to conclude that you are a homosexual." L said matter of factly, facing away from Light so he could not see the grin L usually wore when he was bothering Light for the fun of it.
"What? No, that is completely untrue! I never said that I did not find Misa desirable! Besides, every man has some people they just aren't attracted to. Misa just isn't my type! If your going to be judgmental like this over everything that I do then-"
"You seem overly defensive Light. I completely respect you no matter what your sexual orientation might be. It's just another irrelevant thing, like your hair."
Light spluttered furiously after this pronouncement but could not seem to summon a response. After a stretch of awkward silence Matsuda's muffled voice came unsurely through the door.
"Are you guys going to hook up?"
Light looked like he might snap but then took a slow breath and regained his composure.
"Look, I understand that some of the things that matter to me do not matter to you. I can assure you that I am not attracted to men and that I have no reason to lie. I agree that this is an irrelevant subject but it is also a question of self-identity and you seem intent on challenging mine. I admit to being a bit of a perfectionist but the last time I checked this wasn't the problem you are making it." Light gave an almost smug smile when he finished but his face remained as serene as always. L was not perturbed.
"How long have you been working on that dissertation? It seems to me that your obsession with perfection has more control over you than you are aware of. If anyone challenges the idea that you are an essentially flawless human being, you become immediately defensive. This suggests that cannot accept any insult, a trait in close connection with Kira. If Kira believes himself to be a god he must create the illusion that he is perfect so congratulations Light, you have earned another percent." The satisfaction of another victory overwhelmed the troublesome feeling in L's stomach. Light's face flushed for a moment before he turned to the door and marched out of the room, dragging L behind him.
"Fine. Have your little victory, but when people start asking me why I look different today I will blame you."
For some reason when no one noticed Light looking any different for the rest of the day L's triumph did not taste as sweet.
Although Light kept his stony, hostile silence when they were alone together L found that the unpleasant feeling had just returned with a vengeance.
Light could spend all morning striving for his inhuman level of perfection but he had so much natural faultlessness that people could barely tell the difference. L would never have that. He again pushed the feeling to the back of his mind but still devoured a chocolate mousse to ease the bitterness inside of him with sugar.
When Light washed the chemicals from his hair that night L watched him as it dried. There was almost no difference. Light's hair was still Light's hair.
As Light began to doze off, L pulled out his laptop and sat with it on the bed. From beside him he heard Light murmur drowsily, his anger forgotten,
"I've always wondered, do I look weird when I sleep?"
L fought the urge to kick Light off of the bed but could not bring himself to reassure the boy.
"You look normal but all that matters is that inside, you're a complete freak. And it's what's inside that counts." L stated and waited for Light's usual rage. When there was no response L was puzzled but then looked down and saw that his suspect was fast asleep now. L smiled to himself, Light did look sort of weird when he slept.
If there was one thing that L was now certain of it was that he would never live with anyone again. Living with people was hard. Living with perfection was hard.
A/N: This is the newest story, will probably be short. Not planning on using any pairing really, just digging around in people's minds. If you review I will love you forever (and probably go read all your stories because I have no life).