Finding You
Summary: He didn't know it then, but he had met the woman that would change everything. AH
This is the start of something beautiful
-Ed Sheeran
Edward nursed in beer in silent contempt. He hadn't wanted to come out tonight. He hadn't wanted to come out in while. But Jasper was convinced this was what he needed. He had been in a funk far too long.
Edward rolled his eyes as he watched his best friend chat up a small red head from across the bar. So much for a guy's night out.
Edward didn't want to be here. Whatever it was he needed, he wasn't going to find at a dingy bar that played tired out country tunes. He didn't need a new girl in his life. What for? So he could take her for granted too? He didn't want to start over. He wanted to fix what he had messed up in the first place.
Just as that thought flittered through his mind; he caught the sight of shiny long brown hair. His eyes were immediately drawn to the small brunette walking his way. Her head snapped up and her expressive eyes locked on his. The smile that had been playing on her lips fell from her face as she stared at him.
Suddenly memories he had pushed back for far too long came rushing through his mind.
Catching her eye from across the library.
Kissing her lips for the first time.
Lying on her lap as they shared their futures.
Hugging her waist as she cooked something new.
Waking up the first morning with her head lying on his chest.
Meeting her father and then meeting his guns. Introducing her to his mother.
Looking for rings despite her words.
Coming home to find her packed and ready to go.
Everything seemed to bombard his mind, making his chest ache.
"Edward?" she stuttered, walking near and smiling. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and stood from the both.
"Hey B-" he stopped himself. "How's it going?" he asked instead, moving in to hug her.
"I'm great. You look…great," she mumbled, pulling away from their hug and feeling mortified at her words. She wasn't lying though. He looked great. He always had.
"You too," he returned. She did. She always did. Somehow in that year they had been apart she had lost some of the shyness that kept her gaze downward and her shoulders hunched. Now she stood tall, commanding attention with a shining streak of confidence that glowed around her.
He hated the air of awkward that seemed to float around them. Things used to be so easy. She was easy to be with. Why did it get this way? "Can I buy you a drink?"
She looked around uncomfortably. She should be getting back, but one look at his piercing green eyes and she knew the answer. He always had that affect on her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't missed him. She had missed him. He was good to her. The first man she had ever fallen in love with, but she needed more than he had to offer. She hadn't wanted to leave him. She wanted to believe he could change, but somehow she knew that he wouldn't.
She needed to end it. A clean break. It was the best choice at the time.
"Yeah, okay," she mumbled and slid into the booth he had been occupying. He sat back down too.
"How's it been?" she asked, fumbling with her hands. He swallowed hard as he tried to look for an answer that didn't make him seem so pathetic.
I've been lonely, nope that wasn't it.
I haven't stopped thinking about you. Definitely not it.
I miss you. The truest statement that had ever been thought, but pretty high on the pathetic scale.
"It's great. Cut back on some hours at the office," he said, peeling away the skin from his empty bottle.
"That's great. One day, their just gonna work you to the bone," she muttered. He nodded. It had been one of their biggest arguments. He had hoped that he could prove to her that he could change, but the statement was too late.
"You grew your hair out," he commented. She reached up to touch her wavy locks.
"Yeah. You always did say I looked better with long hair," she offered, smiling slightly.
"You did. You do. I mean, you look…always look great," he said, sending his signature smirk. At one time her knees wobbled for that smile.
Once upon a time, she had fallen head over heels for him. Felt amazed that he would approach a shy girl like her, but he had.
"Thanks."
"Hey. Sorry it's crazy tonight. Can I get you something?" The waitress asked. Her cheeks reddened as she looked at the new company on the table. Edward glanced at the small mousy girl whose name tag read 'Mary.'
"Yeah. Could I get two more?" he asked, raising his bottle. Mary nodded, writing it down in her pad before stumbling away in the crowd.
"It feels like forever," she muttered, staring at the table top. Edward didn't know how to answer her. It had been forever.
"I…how have you been, really?" he asked.
She looked up to his bright green eyes. She wanted to tell him how hard it had been for the first three months. How many times she had almost came back only to stay away. How she grew so much since they've been apart. How sometimes she wished she would have stayed, but knew how much better off they were without one another.
"I've missed you. I'm glad to see you're doing so well," she said instead.
"Okay, so two Coronas. Am I right?" The waitress said, walking to the table and place the chilled beers in front of them.
"Yeah, thanks," Edward said. The waitress offered him a smile, but he wasn't paying attention. His eyes solely focused on the brown haired beauty across from him.
The waitress shrugged and walked off.
"I think she might have a crush on you," she said. He shrugged.
"I'm not much into the dating scene."
She hated this part. Now he was going to ask and she had to tell him the truth.
"Are you—" he cleared his throat and looked down at the bottle. "Are you seeing anyone?"
His eyes said everything he was too shy to convey. How he hoped he hadn't screwed up too badly. How much he wanted this meeting to be a second chance. How he thought he could fix everything.
She wanted him to know it wasn't his fault. She needed him to know that had they met under different circumstances, had they grown a little more, they probably would have lasted. She looked down at her hand. The sparkling diamond reminded him of her beloved.
"I'm engaged," she said, refusing to feel guilty. She held up her hand to show the glittering gem on her third finger. Edward coughed, grabbing a napkin and placing it in front of his mouth before he spit the beer he had just drunk. He hadn't expected that.
"Um, wow. I…um congratulations. I thought you said marriage just wasn't for you?" he asked, confused. She looked away, her dark eyes filling with an emotion that did not sit well on her features. "Maybe it was just marriage with me then?"
She could hear the pain in his voice. She was afraid to look up. She didn't want to see the hurt she had placed there. She couldn't apologize though. Riley was a good man. He loved her. He made her feel special. She didn't want to feel guilty for falling in love with him. She wouldn't. She couldn't let Edward taint that for her.
"He treats me right. I think you would like him," she said, smiling slightly. He snorted.
"I doubt that," he said, taking a swig from his bottle. She realized she hadn't touched hers yet. Daintily she took a sip.
"Hey B! What's…oh hello?" A small girl came up looking a bit tipsy. Edward recognized her as the red head Jasper had been talking too.
"Hey Jess. This is my friend Edward. I'll be right over," she said, trying to communicate with her intoxicated friend with her eyes alone. Jess didn't exactly get the memo.
"Well, hurry 'kay. Can't exactly have a bachelorette party without the bachelorette!" she sang, swaying her hips as she made her way back to the other side of the bar. Edward could feel his ears burn in embarrassment. Here he had hoped that they could patch things up and she was ready to marry some guy. He felt like a pathetic fool.
Way to fuck it up, again.
"Edward, I'm sorry things didn't work out between us. But Riley is a good man. I love him. I really hope that one day, you find what I found," she said.
"I found you?"
She smiled sadly.
"You'll find someone else. This isn't the end for you. I can't be the girl for you, Edward, because you're not the man for me," she whispered and the words pierced his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. She was so wrong and she didn't even know it. How could she say she wasn't it? Of course she was.
"Do you ever think about us?" He had to ask. He just had to know that he wasn't alone. She swallowed hard.
"Yeah. Every once in a while. I—I'm so grateful to you. You taught me how to accept love. How to give it," she said, smiling softly.
"I didn't exactly want to teach you how to love another man," he quipped. She nodded. This reunion was over. She had nothing more to say to him.
"I have to go."
"Don't you always," he retorted.
"What is that—"
"You left. You just walked out on me and left a note. A note? Really? Don't you think I deserved an actual goodbye? You fucked up and you know it and I don't even get a damn apology?" he said, raising his voice only slightly.
He hadn't expected to blow up that way. Maybe it was the drink. Maybe it was just seeing her again. But suddenly he realized how angry he was.
"I'm sorry, Edward. But what did you want me to say? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to leave? I was drowning with you. I had to leave. If I didn't—if I hadn't… who knows where we would have been. It was hard for me. It was extremely hard, but don't act like your innocent," she said, eyes filling with tears.
"I'm not innocent. I know that. But I wanted to try. I wanted an us!"
"Maybe I did give up too easily, but I can't be sorry for that. I really love Riley. I want to marry him and I can't regret the choices I made to get to him."
"I wanted to marry you!"
The words cast a silence over the table neither was sure how to deal with. She wiped her eyes and stood from the booth. She had nothing more to say. There were times she wished she could try again, but she had convinced herself that Riley was the right choice.
"It was good seeing you, again," she mumbled. She patted his hand softly and walked away to the other side of the bar. Edward stared after her form.
Edward shook his head and stood from the booth. He didn't want to be here anymore. He walked out the back entrance of the bar toward the parking lot. Jasper could find his own way back home.
"Hey! Wait!" a light feminine voice called. Edward turned around to see the mousy waitress come out from the back doors. "I'm glad I found you."
Edward raised a brow. She blushed.
"Um, you forgot your wallet."
"Oh…thanks. I appreciate it," he said. He believed her name was Mary, a quick check of her name tag proved his suspicion right.
"You're welcome," she said, blushing again and slowly rocking back on her heels. She was pretty. Dark eyes and long brown hair tied back into a pony tail. She was short, but curvy and her blushing face made her complexion glow.
She wasn't who Edward wanted to be, but that didn't stop the words to flow from his mouth.
"When do you get out?" he asked.
"Um, now actually."
"Do you wanna do something?" he asked, shrugging lightly. He knew this wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Mary or to him, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to feel something.
She smiled brightly.
"Yeah. Ok."
::*::
Edward knew he was in his bed. He was used to the shape of the bed and the fabric on his pillow. What he wasn't used to was the warm pressure on his chest or the faint scent of flowers floating around his room.
He groaned and slowly opened his eyes. The piercing light forced him to shut them quickly, but that one glance was enough. There was someone in his bed. He felt like an ass. He could feel her steady breaths against his bare chest and knew that she was still asleep.
He didn't remember much of last night. He remembered bringing her home and opening a bottle of whiskey. Everything after that got really blurry. He remembered laughing. He laughed a lot last night and it had felt nice.
He remembered kissing her, letting his hands travel up her shirt and caressing smooth skin.
But he couldn't remember anything else. Why was she here?
The thought was cruel, but he couldn't help wonder what her expectations were. He wasn't ready for anything serious. Especially after last night.
He wanted to get up. Maybe leave before she woke, but the pounding in his head kept him immobile.
Before he knew it he was fast asleep.
When he woke the second time, it was because the smell of freshly brewed coffee had penetrated his dreams and forced him into consciousness. The pounding in his head was slightly less noticeable and he found he could move.
He also found that the bed was empty.
After putting on a pair of pants, he made his way into the kitchen and found the waitress. She was staring out the window of his kitchen, clutching a mug to her chest. She was still wearing his shirt. It fell to about mid-thigh and showed off toned legs. Enough to make Edward's stomach clench in interest.
He shook it off. He had to be fair to the girl.
"Hey," he croaked. She startled and turned to face him, a smile playing on her pouty lips.
"Hi. I made coffee," she said. He nodded and began to prepare himself a cup. The awkward silence in the kitchen was suffocating.
"About last—" they stopped talking, laughing. Edward motioned for her to go first. She cleared her throat.
"About last night, I just um… wanted to say that I don't really expect anything. I mean I know you're upset about B—"
"Please, don't," he begged, not wanting to hear her name in a situation like this.
"Oh. Um right. Well, I just. I understand. I should, um, probably get going now," she said, walking past him to make her way into the bedroom. He grabbed her arm before she could go anywhere.
"Why don't you stay? I can make breakfast," he offered. He didn't know what he doing. She was giving him a Get-out-of-jail card and he couldn't let her go. He didn't know why, but something about her felt different. He wanted her to stay.
"I like breakfast."
He smiled brightly.
"So Mary how do you like you're eggs?" Edward asked, walking toward the stove. She startled.
"Who?"
"You?" Edward questioned. She giggled.
"My name's Bella. Mary's my co-worker. I borrowed her uniform yesterday. I forgot mine at home," she explained. Edward blushed.
"Well, I feel like an ass," he commented, scratching the back of his neck. He could feel his ears heat. He had just assumed from the name tag. How had this not been brought up last night?
"Don't be. At least you remembered my fake name," She giggled, walking near and pulling his ear gently.
He laughed and she smiled.
He grabbed her waist and brought her close.
Years later Edward would come to realize that Bree was right. What he needed, what he wanted, he would have never found with her. She wasn't what he was looking for.
Saying goodbye to his ex was really just a beginning. Bella was the start of something new for him.
He didn't know it then, but he had met the woman that would change everything.
"I'm really glad you found me, Bella," he whispered, closing the distance between them and kissing her softly. Their lips mended together in a slow passionate dance. Her hands wrapped in his hair and pulled him closer.
When they did pull apart she was breathless.
"I'm really glad I found you, too," she whispered.
The End
...
This was my attempt at a Valentine's story. Does not take place on Valentine's, but I kind of wanted to do something sweet and fluffy.
Hoped you liked it.
Happy Valentine's Day
(I'll be spending mine listening to Ed Sheeran and wishing he was my Valentine.)
-T. Tanya