Should Have Bought Her Flowers, a victorious fanfic

A/N: Okay um… happy Valentines day… sorry for this story it is not the most romantic thing ever for the holiday… but it put me in a state that I had never allowed myself into before so I am running with it. I hope you enjoy it anyway. —S.K.

Should Have Bout you Flowers

I stood to the side of the stage. I hadn't sung in years. I concentrated on stage things. Acting… but now every actor thinks they can sing. I know that I can. I was here to prove it. A lot of my cast mates came with me to an open mike and I was on next. Only problem was that I didn't know what to sing.

I woke up this morning and just kind of lost my cool and realized that the only one that could calm me was usually Tori. I looked at my bed. Our bed. "Shit," I mumbled and got up out of the bed. My alarm clock went off and it played the song we first danced to and It took all I had not to start to cry. I hadn't thought about her in weeks. She left me two months ago because… because.

Whatever I was still stuck here songless and not able to come up with something as I looked out toward the door for an escape. Then she walked in… with him. I turned and headed for the door and they called my name to come up to the stage. I looked up and she was staring at me. Our eyes locked and I was frozen. My cast mates chanted my name and kind of reminded me to breathe, they reminded me that I had to keep being Jade West. So I turned my back on Tori and her man and headed back up on the stage.

The only problem was I still didn't know what to sing. I grabbed a guitar from a dude sitting just off to the side and sat on a high stool on stage in front of a microphone and began to strum randomly, until I remembered a melody I had been working on right after the break up. This song was not ready… I didn't have lyrics. I had feelings… I had my feelings…

After about three musical phrases my feelings began to leak out of me in a tortured voice I would swear to you I didn't know where it came from. It was my voice but it wasn't at the same time.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

Boy was that ever true. None of our friends were here tonight. I couldn't stand being around them ever. And I remember just after she left, Cat came over and she tried to reassure me that Tori… That Tori still loved me. Cat held me for a long time that night.

I cried for days, until I couldn't cry anymore. They came and went and eventually it hurt less to hear her name, but then again, they never really brought her up with me anymore… especially since he and she made it official.

I moaned out in the song. There was a sob that came out as I sang; I couldn't keep them in any longer. I was singing what I felt, and this was all I was feeling.

It all just sounds like oooooh...
Mmm too young too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held you hands
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing
But she's dancing with another man

All of this just happened, because I thought My career was so much more important than making her feel like a priority. She held on to me for two years, while I would just cast her aside for any gig that came my way. And on my off hours, all I did was go schmooze with people in Hollywood. I was gonna make it. I was gonna be HUGE. I… Me… Jade.

Selfish was what I was… I had stopped singing. People were looking up at me expectantly as I played the rifts in the guitar. I needed to choke down the sobs sitting on the top so that I could sing. But I struggled through two more phrases and then started again.

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
'Cause the good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

I opened my eyes and I looked at her, and I sing at her. I refuse to believe what I have just said. I have to fix it. Listen to me Tori… Hear me. Hear my heart. Feel my regret. Please.

I struggled to remember the refrain that I had sung her before when the sob came back to my throat. And I sang.

I should have bought her flowers… held her hand, just treated her like a human being. Like she mattered. I remembered the last argument we had, it was over some stupid industry party. Why couldn't I just take her… and introduce her as … not my friend, she was my girl. That was all she wanted from me. To be acknowledged for what she was to me, not just some random friend. I had friends, and friends in this industry were a dime a dozen.

I stopped playing the guitar and took the mike off the stands, swinging the guitar to my back I sang out walked in their direction, singing. In the back of my head I could hear an accompanying piano. I don't know who picked up on my melody but I hoped they picked up the crescendo as I headed in that direction.

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I opened my eyes, and sang directly to her… She had to know I was talking to her. I looked from him to her as I sang the lyrics.

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he hold your hands
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your girl

There was a gasp in the crowd. She had tears in her eyes and I wanted to cry as I forgot that he was there. It was tunnel vision, it was Tori, it was me, and she could feel me. She bit her lower lip as I sang the last line.

Do all the things I should have done
when I was your girl.

The ruckus roar of the crowd was the thing that brought me back to the present. He put his arm protectively around her. And she turns toward him and holds her and talks sweetly to her and my heart shatters all over again. I give the MC the mike back and unsling dudes guitar and hand it to him. "Thanks man." I whispered and I just walked straight out of the building. I walked to my car, and sat in it, and I let everything go.

I didn't register the sounds or the cool breeze as my car door opened. What I did feel were her arms pulling me close and holding me. "I'm happy," She whispered, "I need you to be okay so that I can stay that way."

This just made me cry harder. "I forgive you Jade… I will always love you." She kissed my tears and wiped them away. She softly kissed my lips, then backed away and out of my car.