Back away from the chocolate with your hands UP!
The figure swept quickly and quietly across the room, smirking slightly at having made it to the counter without being caught. He reached out a hand, lifting the cover of the bowl slowly. He winced as the tin foil crinkled, but smiled again as the contents of the bowl were revealed. He gently slid his hand into the hole he'd created, and just as he'd almost reached his goal-
The BANG of the swinging kitchen door hitting the wall caused him to wince and the blinding light that flooded the room a second later caused his heart to stutter, but it was the familiar scream of fury issued by his gorgeous wife directly after, that caused his heart to stop beating altogether.
"JAMES POTTER!" she snarled. That was not a good sign. She only snarled at him when she was really angry about something. "Back away from the chocolate with your hands UP!"
He quickly pulled his hand out of the bowl, flung both his arms into the air and stepped carefully away from his livid wife, smiling nervously all the while.
"Lils!" he said, forcing his voice to sound surprised at her being there. Now if he could just figure out what to say to explain why his hand had been in the bowl holding the previously melted chocolate that she'd specifically warned him not to touch. "Great weather today, isn't it?"
At his words, the anger on her face drained away, and she looked torn between astonishment at his stupidity and amusement at his idiocy. He wasn't particularly pleased with either choice, but he soon decided that beggars couldn't be choosers, and he was glad that at the very least, she didn't seem angry anymore.
After a long pause, in which James itched to lower his hands and fidget with the bottom of his shirt, Lily settled on just raising an eyebrow at him with a skeptical look on her face. James was happy to see that despite the look, a small smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"You know, I always wondered how you managed to talk so many teachers out of giving you detentions. I'd always thought that the reason you could get away with so much was because you were a brilliant liar, but since I have yet to hear one good, plausible excuse come out of your mouth, I'm going to say that my initial response was wrong, and that Sirius was amazing as hell to be able to get you both out of trouble." Her grin widened as she talked, and at the end, with a cheeky smile, James deemed it safe to lower his arms. If she was teasing him, the worst part was probably over.
He stuck his hands in his jean pockets, and slouched against the counter, watching Lily with a sappy smile on his face, before thinking past the relief of being forgiven, to what she'd actually said.
"HEY! I can so come up with excuses if I want to! I just generally believe that lying is bad!" James glowered at her, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.
"Finally noticed, did you?" Lily let out a small laugh as she picked up the bowl of chocolate James had almost stolen, fixing the aluminum cover before putting it back on the counter. She smiled happily down at the bowl in her hands. Sure, James was sometimes an insufferable brat, but she couldn't even imagine her life without him anymore.
She turned around, a half-smile on her face, and almost burst out laughing at the adorable but childish expression on her husband's face. She bit her lip lightly, to prevent herself from furthering his "anger", and after a few moments, settled for a vastly amused grin.
"Yes I have! And I'm insulted that you not only think I can't lie, but that Sirius can!" James crossed his arms across his chest and stood to his full height, though he was almost certain that he himself would end up laughing in a few more minutes. "What about that time the last week of school when I went back to the dormitory late?"
"You mean the time when you were drunk out of your mind and told me you loved me and tried to kiss me after I asked why you were so late?" Lily laughed as she recalled the incident. It had been horribly frustrating at the time, because he would reply to everything with "I love you, Lily" but now that she was looking back at it, it was actually quite funny and sweet.
"Oh. Well, I had a good excuse in my mind. I must have just forgotten to say it…" James said, dropping into a bar stool.
"Of course you did, darling." Lily grinned as she walked over to him and pecked him lightly on the cheek. "It doesn't matter to me that you can't lie to save your life. Now, if you just stopped doing everything I tell you not to, that'd be great."
"Not going to happen." James grinned mischievously up at his gorgeous wife, and pulled her into his lap. "Now, on another, happier note, can I have the bowl of chocolate?"
Lily rolled her eyes and hit his chest lightly before getting up and handing the bowl to him. After all, she could always just serve ice cream for dessert, but these happy moments with James, she wouldn't trade for anything.
A/N: Okay, so I wrote the first half of this one-shot (everything up to the "beggars can't be choosers" paragraph) a year ago, and I didn't finish it until about a month ago. Although I like the first half much more than the second, I can honestly say that I'm proud with how it turned out. Of course it's still totally pointless fluff, but I re-read the first half, and I was smiling, so hopefully you'll find it amusing as well, if nothing else. =]