Not Another Wizarding Blog!
A/N: After reading some of these fics, I felt like making my own, and really, this is a fun way to kill some time. Time at the beginning of this fic is the first day of the trio's fifth year. Somewhat AU, with some original characters of my own added into the mix. There'll be a lot of different charas, so I'll put a who's who at the beginning of each chapter. I haven't yet decided whether it'll all be internet-stuff, or whether I might throw a couple of real-life scenes in to advance the plot. If you're still at all confused about anything, don't hesitate to ask. And any suggestions, opinions, constructive criticism etc are of course more than welcome!
NICKNAME KEY (in order of appearance)
Riotgirl - Nymphadora Tonks
Goddammit! - Evan Rosier Jr.
Firewhiskey - Bill Weasley
MeAgainstTheWorld - Harry Potter
Ghoulish-Creep - Ron Weasley
S.P.E.W. - Hermione Granger
Cinderella - Ginny Weasley
Tooth - Fred Weasley
Claw - George Weasley
TheyKilledKenny! - Rodolphus Lestrange Jr.
YouBastards! - Rabastan Lestrange Jr.
River - Lee Jordan
Bond,JamesBond - Julius Rookwood
RavenButterfly - Cho Chang
CurlyBlonde - Marietta Edgecombe
ThestralMisfit - Luna Lovegood
MimbulusMimbeltonia - Neville Longbottom
YourFriend - Ernie Macmillan
Fiendfyre - Susan Bones
Blood&Tears - Hannah Abbott
SnowWhiteQueen - Fleur Delacour
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Sticky: Introduction, please read and keep in mind!
Riotgirl - Hey everyone, so this is our new idea for communication and hopefully lots of getting-to-know-people-fun. It's mostly for people that are still at Hogwarts, but not exclusively, for example I myself have already graduated. If you're here than I guess this means someone tipped you off because they thought you're cool, so please, for the love of Merlin, in case you're still at school, don't tell your teachers or any of their pets. You all want to communicate freely, and being supervised would totally ruin the fun, don't you think?
Goddammit! - You said that really nice.
Riotgirl - Being sarcastic again, eh?
Goddammit! - No... but if sarcasm is what you want, fine: Your ugly face makes my eyes bleed, BITCH.
Riotgirl - Hey!
Goddammit! - You were asking for it.
Riotgirl - w/e... and let's also try to keep it halfway anonymous, so if you know who's behind a nickname in real life, keep it to yourself.
Goddammit - BTW, Riotgirl, that was a hidden compliment you missed there. And to everyone else, Riotgirl, Firewhiskey and myself in all my glorious awesomeness are the resident admins and mods, so don't forget to bend to our will.
Firewhiskey - Dude... anyway, you can either chat publicly, privately with someone of your choice, or make your own blog, again entirely privately, only for certain people or publicly for everyone to read and comment on. Also, you can create closed communities with your friends or anyone with shared interests, etc. I think that's all said.
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New chat (logged in: Riotgirl, Goddammit!, Firewhiskey, MeAgainstTheWorld, Ghoulish-Creep, S.P.E.W.)
MeAgainstTheWorld - Hey there, awesome idea, thank you!
Riotgirl - No probs.
S.P.E.W. - Don't get me wrong, I love the wizarding world, mostly, but I really missed this kind of thing here.
Goddammit! - Mudblood, are you?
Riotgirl - Goddammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goddammit! - Lol, sorry... Just wondering, though, you are MUGGLE-BORN (happy now?), Spew?
S.P.E.W. - Yes, I am, and it's S.P.E.W., not Spew.
Goddammit! - But Spew is so much easier to type....
Firewhiskey - What does that stand for, anyway?
Ghoulish-Creep - Don't ask...
S.P.E.W. - Society of Elfish Welfare, our aim is to achieve better working conditions for house-elfs, is anyone interested in joining?
Ghoulish-Creep - Please don't get her going...
Goddammit! - WTF?! Lmfao... You're not actually serious, are you?
S.P.E.W. - *glares* Yes. I. Am.
Ghoulish-Creep - Goddammit, please don't start a discussion with her on this... trust me, I speak from experience.
S.P.E.W. - Creep, you're my friend, you're supposed to support me!
Firewhiskey - I refuse to get involved in this.
Riotgirl - Me too.
MeAgainstTheWorld - I try that all the time, and fail miserably.
Cinderella just logged in.
Goddammit! - Rofl... no offense, but this is just about killing me.
Goddammit! - And hi, Cindy.
Cinderella - Hi. What's so funny?
Goddammit - Spew...
Ghoulish-Creep - ... or as I like to call it, the house-elf-liberation-front.
S.P.E.W. - Hahaha. I know about creep, but lemme guess, you're also male, goddammit, aren't you? Hello Cinderella, btw.
Goddammit! - Yes, I am male, why?
S.P.E.W. - That's just typical. Will I ever get to meet a guy that is NOT completely insensitive?
Riotgirl - It's in their nature, hun.
Ghoulish-Creep - Yeah, you gotta accept it... we don't really mean to be insensitive at all, you just keep getting it wrong.
S.P.E.W. - U-hu. Right.
Cinderella - Hopeless. Completely hopeless.
Tooth just logged in.
Claw just logged in.
TheyKilledKenny! just logged in.
YouBastards! just logged in.
River just logged in.
Bond,JamesBond just logged in.
MeAgainstTheWorld - Hey you all!
Riotgirl - Wotcher, guys.
River - Hi back.
Bond,JamesBond - Hello there.
YouBastards! - Hey, whazzup?
Firewhiskey - What's up is we need a change of topic here. Desperately.
Goddammit - Yeah, or else house-elf-obsessed feminists are going to slaughter us...
Claw - Huh?
Tooth - Do we wanna know?
MeAgainstTheWorld - No.
TheyKilledKenny! - Sounds real scary.
Ghoulish-Creep - Oh, yes.
River - Eh.
RavenButterfly just logged in.
CurlyBlonde just logged in.
ThestralMisfit just logged in.
MimbulusMimbeltonia just logged in.
YourFriend just logged in.
Fiendfyre just logged in.
Blood&Tears just logged in.
Riotgirl - More people, yay! This is getting gooooood.
Goddammit! - I can see Riotgirl from here, she's getting all excited and proud.
S.P.E.W. - That's nice.
Riotgirl - Keep your head inside your own cubicle, will ya?
Goddammit! - Sorry, can't help myself.
Firewhiskey - Lol, stalking her again?
Goddammit! - Am not!
Firewhiskey - Are too, when will you admit you've got a mad crush on her?
Goddammit! - Goddammit, I do not!!!!!
Riotgirl - That idiot crushing on me? Don't make me laugh.
Goddammit! - See? She agrees.
Firewhiskey - Keep telling yourself that.
MeAgainstTheWorld - I know some people like that...
Ghoulish-Creep - Really, who?
MeAgainstTheWorld - Not telling. Figure it out.
Cinderella - So what house is everyone in? I'm in Gryffindor.
S.P.E.W. - Me too.
Ghoulish-Creep - Gryffindor rules!
TheyKilledKenny! - Hell no, Slytherin all the way!
YouBastards! - Dito.
Tooth - Ew, no. Gryffindor.
Claw - Me too, although tbh you Slyths don't suck all the way...
YouBastards! - Hmph.
ThestralMistfit - Ravenclaw...
Bond,JamesBond - The Raven Front.
River - Gryff.
Fiendfyre - Contrary to popular belief, Hufflepuff totally kicks ass.
Goddammit! - No, it totally sucks ass.
Blood&Tears - Never met a real hardcore Puff then, have you?
Riotgirl - Lol... I used to be a Slyth, but I graduated ages ago...
Goddammit! - 3 years aren't ages... btw I was a Gryffie, once upon a time.
Firewhiskey - Me too, and I've had the misfortune to be in the same year with those two chaos-magnets... in Gryff.
Goddammit! - Erm, remember how you're supposed to be our friend?
Firewhiskey - Sure, mate.
Riotgirl - And you wouldn't have had it any other way.
RavenButterfly - How sweet... me and Curly are also in Ravenclaw.
CurlyBlonde - And friends as well.
YourFriend - Hufflepuff.
MimbulusMimbeltonia - Gryffindor.
YourFriend - That's great, we really have all kinds of people present here.
S.P.E.W. - Yes, I quite agree, this is an amazing way to encourage inter-house unity and get rid of all those prejudices...
MimbulusMimbeltonia - I especially like that we don't know who everyone is.
YouBastards! - Because otherwise no one would talk to you, or what?
Riotgirl - Keep it friendly, okies?
YouBastards! - Sorry, just kidding.
ThestralMisfit - I don't fit in with people in real life, either... so what?
Bond,JamesBond - Awesome attitude, misfit.
ThestralMisfit - Thanks.
S.P.E.W. - One thing, though... you really used to be a Gryffindor, goddammit?
Goddammit! - Yes, I said so, didn't I?
S.P.E.W. - Well, you did call me a mudblood earlier...
YourFriend - Seriously, he did? That's nasty.
Cinderella - What an asshole...
Goddammit! - I did apologize...
S.P.E.W. - Or something like that.
Goddammit! - And anyway, is there any unspoken rule that says Gryffindors can't be proud of their ancestry?
Riotgirl - And here we go again...
Firewhiskey - Just cut the crap, all of you. No one cares.
RavenButterfly - So true. Couldn't have said it better than that.
Tooth - Duh, I've had my first lesson with Umbridge today...
TheyKilledKenny! - Kill me. Just let it end...
River - What's wrong with that woman?
Bond,JamesBond - You mean, like, besides everything?
Cinderella - Is she really that bad?
Claw - You can't imagine just how bad.
YouBastards! - I could have used that time for something more useful, like staring at the wall or so.
Claw - Lol, my thoughts exactly.
MeAgainstTheWorld - I've had one lesson with her, and I'm already in detention?
TheyKilledKenny! - Crap. You have my entire capability of sympathy all to yourself.
Tooth - Add mine.
Claw - And just about everyone else's...
MeAgainstTheWorld - Thanks.
YouBastards! - What did you do, anyway?
MeAgainstTheWorld - Let's just say I confronted her with reality...
Goddammit! - Oh, how could you do such a thing?
Riotgirl - You've been a bad, bad boy....
ThestralMisfit - Lol... reality is uncomfortable to many people.
S.P.E.W. - Especially to the ministry.
CurlyBlonde - And can anyone tell me what it is with that jacket?
Cinderella - Oh dear me...
RavenButterfly - Don't even get me started on her looks.
Claw - And the way she talks to us...
TheyKilledKenny! - Like we're 5-year-olds...
Fiendfyre - If we all do our part, we can make this whole thing hell for her.
TheyKilledKenny! - I like the sound of that.
Fiendfyre - She'll regret ever taking this job, mark my words.
Tooth - I'll mark them and build them a shrine...
River - An Anti-Umbridge-Shrine.
Ghoulish-Creep - Cool thing.
Cinderella - I haven't had DADA yet, but I gotta say you aren't making me look forward to it...
ThestralMisfit - Same here.
Bond,JamesBond - Be prepared to sit there quietly reading the most useless textbook in history. All lesson, every lesson.
ThestralMisfit - Sounds like fun. :(
TheyKilledKenny! - Alternative: Charm a porn mag to look like your textbook to anyone but you.
Ghoulish-Creep - Good one. Spew, could you do that for me?
S.P.E.W. - Let me think........... how about no?
Ghoulish-Creep - Aww, why not?
S.P.E.W. - You.... you.... grrrr....
Goddammit! - Let it go, dude, you're treading on dangerous ground here.
Ghoulish-Creep - Oh, whatever...
Ghoulish-Creep whispers to TheyKilledKenny! - Can you do it for me?
TheyKilledKenny! whispers to Ghoulish-Creep - I'll hide a couple behind that fake door in the Charms corridor for you tomorrow, okay? First break, if I can.
Ghoulish-Creep whispers to TheyKilledKenny! - Thanks a heap, mate!
SnowWhiteQueen has logged on.
MeAgainstTheWorld - Hello, Queen.
Firewhiskey - Your beauty really lights up even a chatroom.
RavenButterfly - Hi.
SnowWhiteQueen - Hello to you as well. And thank you, Firewhiskey. *kiss* I really wouldn't have thought there would be so many people on here.
Riotgirl - Cool, isn't it?
Firewhiskey - *kisskisskisskisskiss*
Goddammit! - *facepalm*
CurlyBlonde - So does that mean SnowWhite and Firewhiskey are a couple?
Fiendfyre - Obviously.
Riotgirl - It's like someone super-glued their lips together...
Goddammit! - It's pretty sickening.
Firewhiskey - STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Claw - Rofl.
CurlyBlonde - That's cute. So romantic...
Claw - Even more rofl.
Riotgirl - Btw, those two Kenny-and-bastards-people... you were inspired by South Park when you picked your names, weren't you?
TheyKilledKenny! - Yep.
YouBastards! - Naturally.
Tooth - Hehe... typical.
Ghoulish-Creep - By what?
YourFriend - What's South Park?
MimbulusMimbeltonia - No clue what they're talking about.
S.P.E.W. - The name rings a bell with me, but I'm really not sure... think it's some sort of television show.
Goddammit! - Muggle thing. Shows the daily lives of some American muggle kids in a town called South Park.
Riotgirl - It's meant in a satirical way, muggles are not really like that, you do know that?
Goddammit! - Oh, and there I was thinking that all muggles look like two-dimensional paper dolls... you mean they DON'T???
Riotgirl - Duh. Ha. Ha. Ha. Freak.
YouBastards! - That's one muggle thing that my brother and I really like.
TheyKilledKenny! - I'd even say that we learned all our most important life lessons and moral and ethical values from that show.
Bond,JamesBond - Now that explains A LOT.
Claw - It does, doesn't it?
TheyKilledKenny! - Hey, what exactly do you mean by that?
Bond,JamesBond - Nothing, mate. Absolutely nothing at all.
S.P.E.W. - So you two are brothers, then?
YouBastards! - If you're talking about me and TheyKilledKenny, then yes. Tooth and Claw are, too.
Claw - Firewhiskey is our brother as well.
Ghoulish-Creep - Haha, that means you must also be my brother, Claw!
Cinderella - And mine...
RavenButterfly - Lol, how many kids do your parents have?
Ghoulish-Creep - Seven, in total.
ThestralMisfit - Is that rather worth envy or pity?
MeAgainstTheWorld - Envy.
Bond,JamesBond - Pity.
Blood&Tears - Yes for pity.
TheyKilledKenny! - I'm kinda glad summer is over, I really missed you guys.
Tooth - Yeah, too bad we couldn't meet up, but you know how it is...
YouBastards! - Yeah, your parents, and our parents...
Claw - Exactly.
ThestralMisfit - You mean they don't get along, so they don't want you to either?
Claw - Kinda like that, yeah.
Fiendfyre - Sounds like that really sucks.
YouBastards! - No shit.
S.P.E.W. - And those of you that have graduated, what are you doing for a job?
Riotgirl - Auror.
Goddammit! - Me too, that's why I can still see you... I'm watching you, Riotgirl...
Riotgirl - Stop it this instant or I'll hex your little bits off!
Goddammit! - Whoa, chill out, girl.
MimbulusMimbeltonia - Creepy...
Riotgirl - Yeah, he totally is... keeps staring over here...
MimbulusMimbeltonia - Tbh, I sorta meant both of you.
MeAgainstTheWorld - I'm jealous, I think I might want to become an auror as well.
Goddammit! - You should, it's a whole lotta fun, and you get the most entertaining colleagues ever.
Firewhiskey - I work for Gringotts, and my gf has just started there, too. I think that without her I would be so damn bored here, you can't imagine.
SnowWhiteQueen - Awww, thank you, sweetheart. *kisskiss* I'm glad to have you here as well.
Firewhiskey - Baby, Fiendfyre has nothing on you.
Goddammit! - This goes on and on and on, from dusk till dawn and the other way round.
Tooth - Sick.
Claw - Gross.
Cinderella - Told ya. Absolutely Phlegm.
CurlyBlonde - I still think it's cute.
RavenButterfly - They can be glad they're so happy together... enjoy it while you can.
CurlyBlonde - Aw, poor darling... *hugs*
YourFriend - What's the matter with her?
CurlyBlonde - Nothing, just leave her alone...
S.P.E.W. - Tactful change of topic, then... Has anyone already learned anything interesting today?
Tooth - Learn anything on the first day of school, are you insane?
Fiendfyre - I've learned that if anyone ever tries to kill me, all I have to do is kindly inform then that their behavior is incompatible with the law, that will surely make them realize their mistake.
Blood&Tears - Yeah, it's really often a problem that people simply aren't sufficiently aware of the law.
Goddammit! - Exactly, working as Aurors you'd be surprised just how frequently we encounter that particular issue. The general public is unbelievably oblivious, for all they know there might be anarchy in the UK.
ThestralMisfit - You guys are funny. I'm sitting in the common room laughing really hard right now.
Bond,JamesBond - Oh, that's you over there? See me waving?
ThestralMisfit - See me waving back?
Bond,JamesBond - Lol, now people are staring over here...
SnowWhiteQueen - Don't let them bother you, you're both so sweet.
River - Damn, it really IS the first day, isn't it? McGonagall doesn't seem to have noticed... Four-foot essay on Vanishing Laws? I thought she was kidding at first.
YouBastards! - McGonagall is NEVER kidding.
TheyKilledKenny! - Nor does she ever let her hair down... not that she isn't a good teacher, though.
Tooth - Good, but strict. Not like we're leaving her much of a choice there, though... we're not exactly model students.
Bond,JamesBond - Aaaand.... the medal for the understatement of the year goes to Tooth! Congratulations!
Tooth - *bows* Thank you, thank you very much... yes, that'll be enough applause... so, I'd like to thank Claw, and my mom, and actually every fellow troublemaker in this school...
RavenButterfly - Good gracious.
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