Summery
Quintis doesn't like conflict. That's why he lives in a secluded corner of Kalimdor. He is satisfied with his role of being the resident druid in Feathermoon until a letter arrives... Part of the Hydraxis WoW Crack Chronicles
Quintis Gets a Letter
Quintis was not an adventurous person at heart; in fact he was rather adverse to the idea. It wasn't that he was weaker or less able than anyone else; he just was a very nervous person and prone to fainting spells. There was a reason why he perused the healing aspect of druidism instead of the more high strung and violent aspects. Furthermore Quintis had now spent most of his long elvish life span keeping out of conflict, a fact that had left him secluded from the outside world. He was comfortable with his job as resident druid and healer in the night elf outpost Feathermoon and had been so for many years. So when a letter from the druidic elders in the Moonglade arrived he expected it to be just as peaceful as all the rest.
Quintis leant heavily against the wall of his tree house, mind racing. Replaced? Summoned…? To what, go adventuring? He raised the thin parchment in shaking purple hands to read it again, hoping that if he just stared at it long enough the condemning words would change.
Master Quintis,
It has come to the Moonglade's attention that the situation on the war fronts of both the Outland and Northrend are worsening. To prevent the Demons of the Legion and the undead minions of the Lich King from further ravaging the world all low to mid ranked druids are to expedite their gain in power and experience so they may increase the our ranks on the war fronts. A lower ranked druid will be sent to Feathermoon Retreat to relive you of your duties there, so that you may join your brethren in furthering Nature's cause.
-may the sprits guide you.
Dendrite Starblaze
Quintis could feel the panic rising, he must go out into the world, Elune knows how much it's changed since last time ...and there was still that matter of "gain in power and experience" which could only mean adventuring.
.........
"Um excuse me," said the nervous looking night elf to a group of tough looking humans sitting around the inn table. "Could you direct me to where I can find a draenei named Thelinar?" The humans looked blankly at him, "well she's about this tall" the elf indicated how tall with his left hand, "she's got dark skin and hair. And..." One of the humans cut him off.
"Oh, yer looking for the Death Knight lover." He said sneeringly before turning to address his friend. "Hey Jim, This pansy elf is looking for that traitor space goat. Maybe he's a Death Knight lover too."
"I-I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about." stammered Quintis
"Death Knights," Repeated the blond man, it was Quintis' turn to stare blankly. "Don't ye elves know anything?" Snarled the human in exasperation. The elf in question flinched.
"Death Knights are the creepy as hell minions of the Lich King, killing all who cross their path like a plague. Lately a few of the bastards came to the Alliance leaders all bowin' an' scraping. As it pleases ye sirs, we ain't evil murdering baby eaters any more. Where do we sign up to yer little club." This last bit was spoken in a shill mocking voice with accompanying hand gestures. "Ye know ye keep yer friends close and yer enemies closer. But that don't mean ye have to be nice to them."
"Yeah," Jim chimed it, "We figure that anyone making like friends to them cold bastards ain't any better than them." He said jabbing his finger into Quintis' chest.
"Better to be like the Death Knights then the two of you who are disturbing the peace and profit." The two humans spun around to look at the less the impressed looking goblin who had spoken. They visibly paled as they took in the goblin's town guard uniform.
"You two have just been banned from the premised of Gadgetzan Inn for making a public nuisance of yourselves and harassing the Inn's patrons, we've had complaints. Now march!"
Quintis took the opportunity to back away from the unpleasant humans as the goblin began herding them out the door whilst they muttered darkly about just who they thought had lodged the complaints. Quintis wearily sat at an empty table. Three days, he thought, I've just been out of Feathermoon Retreat for three days, haven't yet started any adventuring jobs and I'm still way over my head. I suppose I'm a fool to think that I could find Thelinar or Killwarr or somebody else I know who could help me.
..........
Thelinar, the draenei shaman extraordinaire, whistled cheerfully to herself as she entered the Gadgetzan Inn. There was nothing quite like getting loudmouthed dumb asses into trouble to put her in a cheerful mood. The fact that it was the dumb asses that saved most of their insults for her, that had gotten banned only made it sweeter. It just goes to show those 'high and mighty' adventurers, who think that cultivating friendships among the 'lowly' merchant class was a waste of time, what a few well placed complaints can pull off. Stopping by the barkeep she found herself an out of the way table where she could people watch and enjoy her drink peacefully for the first time in days. However the lazy quite of the Inn lasted only long enough for her to get comfortable.
"Oy elf, what cha' think you're doing at my table?" roared a sallow looking orc.
A very tough looking orc, thought Thelinar taking in the orc's impressively spiked armour, and with back up too! Her eyes moved to the other orc and grumpy looking tauren flanking the speaker. I'd hate to be the poor sucker who drew their attention, she thought as she craned her neck to see just who the poor sucker was.
.........
Quintis couldn't speak. It was not that he didn't want to speak; he desperately wanted to talk his ways out of the situation. But the unexpectedness of angry orc coming out of nowhere had left him badly frightened and with a paper-dry mouth. He tried, he really did, to apologise and go find a friendlier seat somewhere else but his body wouldn't listen to him and when he opened his mouth all that came out was a strangled croak. Judging by the orc's narrowing eye this was not the reaction he was looking for, Quintis swallowed nervously and silently begged his legs to move.
"Oh there you are Quintis" chirped a familiar voice in an unnaturally cheerful tone, "I thought that you had gotten lost, come on I already have a table for us."
..........
Of course the 'poor sucker' would be someone I know, mentally grumbled Thelinar as she, hopefully subtlety, inserted herself between the angry orc and the frightened Quintis, a bimbo-like smile plastered to her face. That's right Mr Grumpy-Orc, ignore the nightelf for he is obviously the confused pet of the cheerfully oblivious, self-centred draenei. She thought as she cheerfully prattled on about ...well nothing. These abnormal actions from someone who was supposed to be the enemy threw the orc and his companions off long enough for Thelinar to firmly grasped her friend by the arm and frogmarch him back over to her table without any bloodshed.
..........
A few drinks and an explanation later, Thelinar leaned back in her chair and remarked,
"By the spirits, are you a trouble magnet or what?"
Quintis nodded his head and said miserably, "I'm just no good at adventuring."
"Aw don't be so hard on yourself," said Thelinar, giving her friend a reassuring pat on the arm, "I'm sure adventuring is just like riding a bike, you never really forget how to do it."
"Riding a what?"
"A bike, Gnomish invention. It's got two wheels and...well never mind. The point still stands, I'm sure it will all work out."
Despite his friend's attempt to cheer him up, Quintis' mood remained gloomy. "I never was very good at adventuring." He said staring gloomily into his cup, "That's why I became a healer. But it's not just that... You know how out of the way Feathermoon Retreat is?" Thelinar nodded, "I know nothing about current events of the world and everything has changed so much since last time I traveled." He looked at Thelinar helplessly.
She looked back and then said slowly, "I have some jobs that could fit the adventuring bill. If you want you could tag along and help me out." Quintis' expression practically oozed gratitude.
"Really? I could stick with you."
"Sure." Replied the shaman grinning, "it's not like you're one of those stuck up, greater-than-thou asses, I've had to work with before and you're a friend to boot."
"Speaking of other adventurers, why does a group of humans dislike you so much, Thelinar?"
"Because they're asses." Said Thelinar, taking a sip of her drink, "A little while ago I was part of an expedition into Zul'Farrak. Among the expedition's members were a couple Death knight friends of mine. Turns out that the day the expedition left town half of the bigoted population of the Alliance were also in town. There was this one guy who used to throw rotten vegetables at me, until I summoned a couple spirit wolves to deal with him. They chased him out of town and no one's seen him since. Sometime, on quite nights, you can hear the screams." Said Thelinar, almost wistfully. Quintis stared at her in horror. With an admirable effort Thelinar did not spit out her juice as she started to laugh. "Oh, Quintis," She hiccupped, "I'm just kidding. I don't even know how to summon spirit wolves. You sure are easy to tease." She playfully punched his arm and stood up saying, "well we'd better get a start on that job I mentioned."
"What exactly is the job?" asked Quintis as they weaved their way between the inn's tables.
"We need to pick up some blue power crystals for a Gnomish friend of mine." answered Thelinar.
"Oh," said Quintis in a relived tone of voice, "that doesn't sound too bad."
"Yep." Agreed his friend, "the only thing we have to worry about is blood thirsty dinosaurs trying to eat us."
Quintis froze. "What!? Dinosaurs?" But Thelinar was already out the door, leaving him no choice but to fallow her protesting shrilly, "You're kidding right, Thelinar? Theeeelinar!"