Gift Wrapping With the Help of Total
By BlueFox
Sum: Um, well, the title says it all. There really isn't a summary for this. (ONESHOT)
Okay, I was reaaaaalllly bored yesterday, and i suddenly had another oneshot idea. And no, this time it is not forwarded to be through e-mail. I have a brain, and I used it in the middle of the night. It's funny how some things work that way :)
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
3. Open door and remove Total from closet.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove Total from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out the wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove Total, who has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove Total from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove Total from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to determine size to cut.
13. Try to smooth out paper, realize Total is underneath, and remove Total.
14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
15. Throw away first sheet as Total chased the scissors and tore the paper.
16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting Total in the bag the present came in.
17. Place present on paper.
18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize Total in between present and paper. Remove Total.
19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.
20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from Total with a pair of nail scissors.
21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
22. Look for a roll of ribbon. Chase Total down the hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-diectional turn.
24. Re-roll ribon and remove paper, which is now torn due to Total's enthusiastic ribbon chasing.
25. Repeat steps 13 thru 20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
26. Decide to skip steps 13 thru 17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.
27. Put present in box, and tie down eith string.
28. Remove string, open box, and remove Total.
29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for a room with a lock.
30. Once inside locking room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.
31. Remove Total from box, unlock door, put Total outside door, close and relock.
32. Repeat previous step as often as necessary (until you can hear Total griping from outside door).
33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This is will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best.)
34. Discover Total has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out, and hunt through various cupboards, looking for a sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because Total helped with this last year as well.
35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefull sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.
37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulateyourself on completing a difficult job.
38. Unlock door, and go into kitchen to make a drink and feed Total.
39. Spend fifteen minutes looking for Total until coming to obvious conclusion.
40. Unwrap present, untie box, and remove Total.
41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.
Well, how was it? It seemed funnier when I wrote it last night, that was probably because I was half asleep. But anyway, i hope you enjoyed it! Whee!
BlueFox