And Wonder Woman Took Off Her Mask
Summery: What would happen if Luke and Lorelai mended the friendship the night of Sookie's wedding? Here's one interpretation…
Disclaimer: I own all the DVDs, the CD, a coffee mug, a Yale sweatshirt, a tote bag, and some songs from the show on iTunes, but the genius of Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman Palladino and not to me.
Chapter 1: Always a Bridesmaid…
The diner bells jingled, breaking the silence of the empty room. Luke had his back to the door, cleaning out the toaster, performing his nightly closing routine. "We're closed," came his automatic response, nearly echoing in the dark room. He wasn't in the mood to cook. He wasn't in the mood to make conversation with some lone customer. Hell, he had just finished cleaning the grill. He felt drained. Too much stress.
The customer didn't make an effort to move. That's when it hit him; It was her. He picked up the rag and tried make an effort to turn around and face her. He was still angry. He knew he shouldn't be, but he couldn't help it. She had questioned everything in that argument. Her bitter and sarcastic tone blamed him for the accident because Jess lived with him and accused him of not caring about Rory. He couldn't shake the thought that, by default, she had accused him of not caring for her. That pissed him off more then anything. Made him want to shake his fist in her face and yell "How dare you!" But, he could not do that to her. It was Lorelai, after all.
His mind was reeling with a million thoughts at once. It seemed like he had been making the move to face her for hours, when it had merely been a few seconds.
The sound of Lorelai's voice jolted him out of his mental sanctuary:
"I know you're probably still mad at me, and frankly, you aren't my favorite person in the world right now, but I had a shitty day. My head is staring to throb and they stopped giving me drinks at the wedding. We don't need to make up or forgive each other or anything, but I really need a cup of coffee"
Luke finally turned to take in the full view. Lorelai was still dressed for the wedding. Her hair was straight and the teal color of the dress made her eyes stand out in a way he had never seen before. However, among the beautiful assets of Lorelai's appearance, her face was pale, her eyes were bloodshot, and the corners of her mouth were turned down in a frown. Luke pushed away the thoughts of her beauty and his natural instinct was concern. He cared about her, no matter what status their friendship was currently in. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but he knew she would fight before giving Luke the satisfaction of seeing her cry again. When he realized that he was still looking at her he willed words to come out of his mouth.
"Coming right up."
Luke let his mind run on auto-pilot as he started to make coffee. He had done this a million times. It was routine, like wiping down the tables, cooking hamburgers, and cleaning the grill. It was amazing how tense the air in the room had gotten in a matter of seconds. He spooned coffee on to the filter.
"More," She pleaded, breaking the silenced once again.
"Not everyone likes it that strong."
"Do you see anyone else around?" She mocked, accenting and elongating the word 'see.' The brought a slight grin to his face, but he instantly scolded himself. They were fighting. Good thing his back was still turned.
"I'm not makin' it any stronger."
"It's not like you're drinking it. Please, Luke."
That did him in. She always got her way with him. He still wasn't sure why she was the only one who could. His mind went back to an earlier realization. He cared for her. Suddenly, Rachel's final departure consumed his thoughts.
LUKE: Then what is it? Is there another guy?
RACHEL: No.
LUKE: Then what?
RACHEL: It's another girl.
LUKE: What? You telling me you're. . .
RACHEL: The other girl isn't for me Luke, it's for you.
LUKE: Okay. Now that's crazy.
RACHEL: Yeah?
LUKE: Yeah.
RACHEL: No.
LUKE: You feel you need a different excuse this time to mix things up a little, fine. But you are not leaving because of me.
RACHEL: I'm sure you tried Luke. But admit it, you're heart wasn't in it.
LUKE: My heart was in it. I was here, I didn't leave. . . .I don't get this.
RACHEL: Luke.
LUKE: And what are you talking about, another girl. What other girl? Oh Rachel, no, you don't mean. . . She and I are just friends. I told you that a thousand times.
RACHEL: No. You told it to me once. And you could barely get it out then.
LUKE: Okay, this is crazy. You've got it wrong here. It's not. . .She and I are. . .uh. . .
RACHEL: I'm gonna go. I'll miss you. Stay in touch.
LUKE: Rachel, come on.
Rachel walked to the door and stopped. She turned around to look at Luke.
RACHEL: So don't wait too long okay.
LUKE: To what?
RACHEL: To tell her.
He hadn't allowed himself to ponder Rachel and her advice for awhile now. Luke couldn't help but think Maybe Rachel was wrong. I don't have to tell Lorelai how I feel because that implies that I do have feelings for her. And, I don't! She hurt me by all her accusations, but that does not mean that I like her. Yes, I like Lorelai. She's my friend, but that's it. That's all we'll ever be. Yes, I care about her, but that doesn't mean my care goes beyond the love that comes with friendship. Okay, I love her..but, wait, not that kind of love. Damn!
"How's that coffee coming?" Her quiet voice stopped his inner rant mode in seconds flat. He figured he couldn't hide from her anymore by staring at the coffee pot, so he turned, rag in hand, and began to wipe of the counter.
"Staring at the coffee pot doesn't make the coffee come out faster, contrary to what I like to believe sometimes."
"Lorelai," he groaned. He knew she was trying to lighten the mood and draw attention away from herself, but her tone and Luke's ever present thoughts made it impossible to take away from the seriousness that enveloped the room. He decided to change the subject.
"Shouldn't you still be at the wedding?"
"Yeah, but I didn't feel like putting on a happy face for the crowd anymore so I left. I doubt Sookie will even notice that I'm gone. Rory went out with Dean and Lane and she said she would be home late." She laid her head on her arm that was stretched out on the counter. "I feel like a piece of crap from a sick dog that was walked through several times and then scraped on a welcome mat. And, to top it off, it feels like the Energizer Bunny and the Little Drummer Boy have decided to have a pow wow in my temples."
That was quite an image. He wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about her day, and he wasn't ready to ask her what happened. He didn't expect her to lay everything on him like that. Luke continued to distract himself by rubbing the same spot in the counter.
"You might want to stop before you wear a hole in the counter," she managed to grunt
"What…oh," he absently stated. He took his hand off the rag, and began to frantically search for something else for his hands to do. He decided to close the blinds for the night. Normally, this was not a difficult task, also done absently with little thought required. Now, however, he found himself having a hard time making them close.
Luke wasn't quite sure why he couldn't bring himself to look at Lorelai for more than a few seconds. Perhaps it was the fact that his heart melted a little every time he saw how sad she was. That can't be the reason. Why can't I stay mad at her? Luke hated how cyclical his thoughts always were. His self-entitled "Feelings for Lorelai' rant, which emerged soon after Rachel left, always started and ended the same. He forced himself to believe that Rachel was wrong, and listed the things he did feel for Lorelai, but somehow the 'l-word' popped into his head and he would curse himself. The answer to the 'Why can't I stay mad at Lorelai' rant was following the same cyclical pattern, having the same answer as 'Why the hell do I always agree to fix stuff for her.' I care. Why do I care?
At this point, Luke no longer had answers and he tried to think of other things. The only problem was that Lorelai was not always in the room when he let his mind wander in other things. Her mere presence made it impossible to think of anything else.
The splattering of sound of coffee hitting the sides of the jug made Luke nearly jump out of his skin. Lorelai's head popped up quickly and she groaned. Stupid headache! Stupid hangover! Stupid open bar! Stupid Christopher! Stupid Lorelai! She pushed her inward scolding aside and started to walk behind the counter. As she reached for the pot, Luke had made it behind the counter and grabbed her wrist.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting coffee," Lorelai said as she attempted to put on a smile and an innocent act. The alcohol in her system and the pounding in her head made hard for her to determine if it was actually working.
"Why are you behind my counter?"
"To get the coffee."
"You can't go behind my counter. You aren't insured to be behind my counter. Sit!"
"Can't."
"Why?"
"You are still holding my wrist!" Luke looked down and saw she was right. He instantly let go and she obediently walked back to her stool. Luke sighed as he poured coffee in a big blue mug. He scooted it across the counter and into Lorelai's greedy hands.
"You know, I shouldn't even be giving you coffee right now. It's probably not going to mix well with the alcohol that's already in your system. I could whip you up a hangover remedy rea…"
"Luke, I haven't had your coffee in three weeks and I believe the shit level of my day warrants a treat. If you come between me and my coffee at this precise moment, I will have to resort to drastic measures!"
"Really," Luke said, with a hint of curiosity in his voice, "What sort of drastic measures?" Jeez, am I flirting with her?
"Um…well, there's always the 'I'm going to punch you in the face' threat, but I have a feeling that won't work on you. Gimme a sec, my quips aren't as fast as they usually are." Lorelai piked up her mug and clutched it in her hands. She took a long sip and closed her eyes. "I had almost forgotten. Mmmmmm."
Luke gave Lorelai a slight smile as he grabbed the pot and refilled her almost drained mug.
"Aw, you remembered," Lorelai said smiling sweetly.
"Well, some things about you tend to stick."
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Lorelai drank her coffee and Luke went over to the cash register and began to balance his drawer.
Lorelai wasn't exactly sure of what motivated her to tell Luke everything, but there was just something about him. Deep down, she knew that behind that tough, flannel-clad exterior, there was a man who was a softie at heart. It was the same man who made her a Santa burger, brought ice to Rory's birthday party, drove her to the hospital, and built her a chuppah. He was the same person who made her numerous meals and poured thousands upon thousands cups of coffee. Above all else, he was the man who let her into his diner and poured her a cup of coffee when he was mad at her. As she sat drinking her coffee and watching Luke count bills, she felt herself come unglued. An unnatural desire to let her pride down washed over her. She felt like she could let her guard down in front of Luke and she was pretty sure that he wouldn't think less of her. Upon having this realization, she felt her throat constrict and tears threaten to fill her eyes. She sniffed quietly and began to speak:
"This is the second time I let myself do this. "
Luke was once again startled by her voice breaking the silence of the room. He had lost count of the stack of ones in his hands. He allowed himself to register what she had just said and asked, "Do what?"
"Think I finally found it."
"Found what?"
"Love, comfort, safety."
"Ah." Luke responded with sudden understanding. He knew something bad had happened at the wedding, but he was unprepared for the matters of Lorelai's heart.
"I mean, first with Max, which of course, I screwed up, and then with Christopher, which of course, all the elements of the universe got together to screw up." So Christopher is back. I thought I heard Patty and Babette murmuring, but who really listens to them. I never have. I never liked that guy. Wait, you've been silent too long. Say something, Danes!
"Yup, it's tough when the universe is against you. That's like taking on the Manhattan garbage union," He quipped, not really knowing what else to say. She looked so sad when she spoke.
"I always thought if he could just get it together, grow up – maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family, in the stupid, traditional 'Dan Quayle, golden retriever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits' kind of way. And then he did get it together – he became that guy. . . and he gets to be that guy with her. Chris is gonna have a baby with his girlfriend. He's gonna marry her. . .and he's gonna be there for her while she's pregnant and he's gonna be there with her while her child grows up, and he's gonna be there for her while she does. . . whatever it is she does. And I am in exactly the same place that I was in before." Her guard had come crashing down as she continued to speak. Her voice cracked and wavered, causing her to pause several times during her speech. A few tears managed to escape the fortress of her blue orbs and left their trails on her cheeks.
Luke felt awful as she spoke. How could someone do that to her? She is an amazing person, Rory is proof of that fact. How could someone promise her the answer to her prayers and rip it away from her. Time to bring out the good. "Is that so bad? I mean, you got Rory."
"Yes, I do."
"You got friends, you got a house, a job, apparently an iron stomach."
"No, it's not so bad," said Lorelai, slightly smiling, " I'm lucky, I know. I just. . .I feel like I'm never gonna have it. . .the whole package, you know? That person, that couple life, and I swear, I hate admitting it because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but. . .I really want it – the whole package."
For some reason, this didn't shock Luke. Deep down, he knew that behind brave exterior was a woman that just wanted the promise of a future. He also knew that she was one of those lucky girls. She would get it all. Luke called it a gut instinct. It was similar to the one he felt when he was comfortable around a woman, but different in its own way.
"You'll get it," he stated knowingly, as he orated his thoughts for the first time that night.
"How do you know?" Lorelai questioned. He was probably just saying that out of pity. She was sad and Luke was trying to fix it. He was good at that, but she was not convinced that he meant it.
"I know."
"How do you know?" she practically pleaded with Luke. For some reason, beyond her own understanding, she needed to know how Luke just knew this would happen for her. At times like these, when her heart laid shattered, she truly believed she would die alone. This is what scared her the most.
"Because I know, okay?" He left it at that. He hoped Lorelai would leave it there too. This type of banter could last for years if he let it. He just knew.
Silence made its way into the air once more. Lorelai swirled her mug and took another long sip, draining the contents. Like a robot, Luke mechanically made his way over and filled her cup once again.
He wasn't sure what came over him right then, but he placed his hand over Lorelai's free hand that rested on the counter. She looked up from her coffee and gazed at Luke's hand. Her head slowly made its way up to look Luke in the eyes, blue staring into blue. In such a small gesture, so much was said. Lorelai took it to mean that he was sorry for what happened and wanted to show that he was still her friend. She smile feebly, and Luke returned with the biggest grin she had ever seen him possess.
"Does Rory know about what happened?"
"She has an idea. I think she saw the look on my face and noticed her father's absence and put two and two together. She was always so good at math. Anyway, I think she was the one who bribed the bartender to stop giving me drinks after my second martini. I'll probably tell her everything tomorrow. All the life is drained from me today."
"So they really stopped serving you drinks?"
"Oh yeah, and that bartender got an earful, lemme tell ya."
Luke squeezed her hand twice and let go. "I'll be back," he reported as he walked from behind the counter, through the curtain, and up the stairs. Lorelai was confused but sat still, curious about Luke's sudden disappearance. She was shocked when he came down with a bottle of what appeared to be whiskey. He grabbed the coffee pot and another mug and sat down next to her. Without saying a word, he twisted off the top and poured the whiskey into Lorelai's mug. What shocked Lorelai more was the fact that he poured whiskey and coffee into the second mug and took a sip.
"You," she pointed her finger right into Luke's face, "Are drinking coffee."
"Get that finger outta my face or I'll bite it," he retorted, taking a second sip. Lorelai's eyes widened.
"YOU are drinking coffee! You ARE drinking coffee! You are DRINK-"Lorelai was interrupted by Luke's hand over her mouth.
"This could go on for awhile. You promise to be good?" Lorelai nodded and Luke uncovered her mouth.
" Where the hell is a camera when I need it? Rory's never going to believe this," She said enthusiastically, waving her hand over the counter.
"I do not NORMALLY drink coffee. However, I only reserve the right for special occasions and it's always served Irish. Drink your coffee."
"Bless you!" Lorelai picked up her cup and did as she was told. They drank together, side-by-side, returning to their silent pattern. Lorelai realized that she liked having Luke sit beside her. Everything about this awful evening had felt better because Luke was there and she felt comfortable with him. The fight, in all its glory, suddenly came back to her in full force. Was this their way of making up? She had to know…
"Luke, are we okay?" She asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer. "I'm sorry," she added, not as an afterthought, but as something that had taken her a lot of intestinal fortitude to say.
"Yeah," he said, "All is forgiven. Sorry I told you to go to hell."
"Right back at ya,' she said with a smile, slightly mocking Luke's phrase from that fateful night.
Luke refilled their drinks and they sipped. It would take a lot of drinks for Luke to get up to Lorelai's buzz, but he appeared determined to catch up.
"I should probably tell you this before we are too drunk to remember…Jess is back."
"Somehow, and I may live to eat my words, that doesn't seem like such a bad thing." Rory's impromptu trip to New York came to mind. That seemed like months ago after tonight. Strange, it was only last week.
Luke stopped filling the mugs with coffee and lined the bottom quarter with their alcohol of choice. He went into the storeroom and returned with an ice cold six-pack for later. It was an unspoken code between friends. He knew they both needed to be drunk tonight, whether they would regret it the next morning or not. Luke sat back down and picked up his mug.
"Here's to a long night of drinking. Here's to better days for you. Here's to Rory. Here's to the renewel of our friendship. Most of all, here's to you." With a smile, Lorelai picked up her mug and listened for the sound made when ceramic met ceramic. To her, it was better than the clink of a champagne glass, since it came with Luke's simple, but meaningful toast.
"Here's lookin' at you, kid." She said in her best Bogy, teamed with one of her akward winks.
"What?"
"You've never seen Casablanca? My, my, we have work to do young grasshopper."
"Maybe tomorrow." Luke said as handed Lorelai a beer. They twisted off the tops and clinked glasses again, just for good measure. As Luke took a swig, he thought This will certainl be an eventful night.
A/N: Well…What did you think? This is my first fanfic so I wanted to test the waters with a story I came up with a few days ago. I actually had an idea for another story first, but I wanted to see how this one went over before I attempted it. That way, if you all tell me this is horrible, I can stop without putting effort into the other story, which will take a lot out of me because it sounds awesome in my head So, please review, if you would like. Reviews, both good and bad, would make me happy, like coffee, shoes, sales, and my cat. Please help me out here! I'm begging you! Well, as much begging I can do without groveling…OOOOO, I almost forgot! I originally intended this to be a oneshot, but I thought of a way to continue it last night. Shall I continue? Or shall I leave Luke and Lorelai to drink for all eternity. Please review! Pretty please.