An: this was a spur of the moment thought after I realised I hadn't really written any thing since last year! It starts right as Emmett and Rosalie are dragging Jasper out the door during Bella's birthday party in New Moon.
Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer! I don't own Twilight!
Jaspers point of view
As Emmett and Rose dragged me away, no thoughts raced across my mind; only the instinct to kill, the one than I wasn't yet able to control entirely. My brothers arms were impenetrable bonds around me and between that and the sharp cool of the chilled September air, I was almost calm by the time Esme joined us. Not that calm really is a good word to use because with the utter clarity of a cooling head came the horror of the knowledge that I had almost just killed Bella, the love of Edward's life and the only human I had cared for in the slightest for years.
Esme tried to tell me it was okay, Bella was alive and things would be fine. But I knew it wouldn't. I would suffer through guilt every time I saw Bella.
I lifted my head as the ball of anger mixed with understanding and worry that was Edward came toward us. At first I couldn't look at him. Finally he sighed and spoke.
"Jasper, listen. I'm going to try hard to stay calm. I am angry, but I understand why what happened happened."
"Edward, stop. I don't deserve calm. You should be screaming at me. I nearly killed Bella. I'm-"Emmett cut me off.
"Goddamit, Jasper, don't beat yourself up so much! Any of us could have killed her, maybe even lover boy here," He said pointing his thumb at Edward.
"No. I should be able to control myself better. I have to go. See you guys later." I turned and sprinted into the forest. Far behind me I heard Alice call, "Jasper, wait!" and Emmett stop her with, "No, Alice, let him go."
I ran for what seemed like hours, getting faster with every wave of guilt for the monster I was and what had almost happened.
Eventually I fell to the ground, exhausted and panting, trying to catch my breath. I just lay there, staring at the moonless and starless abyss above me as tsunamis of regret, guilt and self-loathing continued to envelope me.
Soon I heard someone coming. Alice sat down beside me and lifted my head onto her lap, stroking my hair with her hand in an effort to calm me. I let a small smile drift onto my face. My beautiful goddess, Alice.
"See," she whispered, "its all right, I'm here. I'm here now. I will always be here. Right when you need me. Always."
Well the ending wasn't exactly like it was going to be. I think it's better, though. Kind of fluffy at the end. Please review!
Fantasy