Note: This is the tail end of Threads, when Dr. Jackson comes home and it's all done for a bit of fun. I have actor Michael Shanks to thank for the title idea. Stargate belongs to lots of other people. I'm only borrowing them for awhile.
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Daniel's Dangly Bits
A disembodied voice comes in from the direction of Jack's office, sounding very familiar. "It wasn't me."
JACK
His stomach muscles tighten at the sound of the voice.
Was that…? I am not losing my mind. I heard that, didn't I?
Jack turns to Sam, asking, "Anybody else hear that?"
Sam nods wide-eyed as she watches Jack.
The voice says pipes up and says, "I'm in here!"
Jack blinks once, then says, "That's Daniel!" and he leaps to his feet, running to his office.
Daniel calls out from the office, "No! Don't come in!"
Reaching his open door, Jack's eyes fly open as he takes a quick step back, "Ho! Hey there!"
SAM
The little hairs on her arms rise as her flesh goes goosepimply at the sound of the voice.
Oh my God…that's Daniel!
Looking over at Jack, eyes wide, she nods at his question, watches wide-eyed as Jack leaps to his feet, running to his office.
Reaching his open door, Jack's eyes fly open as he takes a quick step back, "Ho! Hey there!"
She watches, stunned and unable to speak, heart telling her that it was Daniel's voice she heard, that it's Daniel in Jack's office, but her head can't get the thought out that Daniel is dead.
Daniel asks quickly, "Can you get me ... something?"
It doesn't register with Sam when Jack turns, reaches up and tears down the SGC flag from the flagpole behind him or when Daniel says, "It's, uh, a long story."
Only when she sees Daniel step out of the office, broad shoulders bare, the flag wrapped around his waist, does her heart tell her head that he's alive.
In that instant, before that happy thought can bring a smile to her lips, she realizes that Daniel just appeared in Jack's office. Naked. She averts her eyes quickly in embarrassment.
He's alive! Thank God, he's alive!
And naked.
Poor guy looks so embarrassed, I better not look.
Sam sneaks another quick look against her better judgment.
Holy Hannah…look at that chest…Sam! Stop it, stop it this instant. That's your friend there obviously naked…I mean, uncomfortable and wow…look at those shoulders!
Sam forces her eyes quickly away, face carefully expressionless as she fights the urge to run over and squeeze the life out of Daniel, but not daring because, well, because he's naked. She stands, saying, "Um…I, um…I'm going to go get you something to um, wear, Daniel…I'll be right back."
TEAL'C
At the sound of the voice, a smile slowly forms on Teal'c's face.
Daniel Jackson has returned to us. As I knew he would.
Never having lost faith in his friend, he watches, very well pleased as he steps out of Jack's office.
He is well, and fully whole. A long story indeed.
BRA'TAC
These Tauri never cease to amaze me.
AIRMAN TAKING NOTES ON THE PC IN THE CORNER OF THE BREIFING ROOM
Upon hearing Daniel Jackson's voice coming from within General O'Neill's office, Airman 1st class Pedro Diaz types quickly on his instant messenger screen.
PedroD: Jeez! You'll never believe this!
MartinaW: What?
PedroD: Dr. Daniel Jackson just appeared in the General's office!
MartinaW: What? Asgard?
PedroD: Dunno…holy shi….he's naked!
MartinaW: What?
PedroD: As a jaybird…got a flag wrapped around his middle. Whoa...gotta go.
OFFICE POOL
Martina looks up, fingers typing away madly, "Hey! Daniel Jackson just got back."
Two heads look up, and Richard asks, "Really?" With Laura saying, "That's great news!"
Martina continues to read her screen, "Yeah, he's in the General's office." Her eyes go wide as she says, surprised, "And uh…apparently he appeared naked."
Richard says, grinning devilishly, "I knew it! These fly boys are sooo obvious. One wonders that they even bother with the 'Don't ask Don't Tell' rule."
Martina rolls her eyes at him, then can't help a grin, "C'mon, let's go see!"
Richard sits back, shuffling some papers in front of him, "Aw, I got work to do."
She eyes him, "You've got to be kidding me?"
Laura asks, "Doesn't the man deserve some dignity?"
Hands on her hips, Martina says, "Hey, this would be the third time I've donated to a charity in his name because I thought he was dead. The guy owes me! C'mon!" and she heads out the door, Laura following and not too much later, Richard trailing behind them.
HALLWAY OUTSIDE JACKS OFFICE
The halls are lined now with mostly female members of the SGC, some wearing huge grins, others with startled looks, watching SG1 & the General as they happily lead Daniel towards the infirmary to be checked out.
Daniel, jacket draped over his shoulders and still clutching the flag firmly over his hips, walks behind Jack. Jack wears an insufferably proud smile on his lips, thrilled to be able to prove to the base that he's not crazy when he swore Daniel was going to come back. Didn't figure he'd come back naked in his office, but hey, he'd take it as he could get it.