Ode to Leon

So many things I don't know where to start. This is a letter to thank a man who has many times mended my broken heart.

If Leon S. Kennedy were a real man, I would give him many thanks.

Leon has done much more for me than he would ever know.

When I was young and naive, I had a crush on a semi-famous person. Deep down in my pathetic little heart I believed he and I would one day be together. It was a crush that lasted about 3 years. I wasn't sure it would ever go away. But when I completed Resident Evil one, and set out on a quest to beat Resident Evil 2, my mind was so consumed with beating that game that I forgot all about him. It's crazy because it was Leon's resemblance to this guy that that attracted me to Leon.

Now, with Resident Evil 4 being fresh, and Leon with his great new look, awesome skills, and tougher attitude, he's once again helping me. He's helping to heal my broken heart. A heart that was twice broken by someone I thought was the love of my life and then stomped on into little pieces. Because of all the time spent thinking and dreaming of Leon, I think I'm getting over that bump that I never thought I would get over.

Since I first saw Leon, he's always been in my heart. I've always dreamed about being with him, or being lucky enough to actually find a man like him. Because you have once again reemerged in the Resident Evil world, you have once again re-emerged in my heart, and helped me get over a pathetic point. In a way, we are the same.

Leon, I never thought you would get over losing Ada. I was amazed that when you finally saw her again and find out she didn't' die, that you didn't fall at her feet. You resisted her, and seemed like you didn't like her at all. Maybe you can never forget her, and there are people I can never forget, but I just hope that if in your position, I can be as strong as you, and not show my emotions.

It's so Ironic. Leon is not even real, but I can honestly say, I really don't know where I would be without him.

I know it sounds crazy, to say all of this about a fictional character, a computer generated image. But its that computer generate image of a blondish-brown haired guy with bluish gray eyes, and a digital drawn muscular body that I have come to hold as my ideal man.

You're not real Leon, but you're more real than any guy that I've ever gone out with, or turned down. And maybe its best that you're not, because all I have of you is your image, and your tough personality from RE4. You've evolved much from RE2. I don't know how you'd react towards me, and that's good, because if you were real, you'd have good likelihood of being an asshole, like a good portion of the male population. (There are some good ones out there so stay true, guys!)

My ex once asked me, a long time ago, when we were still going out, why I liked Leon so much. I gave him the simple answer. "Because he can't hurt me." Leon's never hurt me. And that's why I love him. Leon has never broken my heart, and he never will. Leon can't do all of those horrible things that real guys do. He can't tell me he loves me and make all these promises to me about what we're going to do when we get married, all these places we're going to go, tell me how much I mean to him, and then dump me with no warning. He can't lead me on, and not call. He can't order me around and treat me like a subservient, inferior, because I'm a woman, and then act clueless when I don't call him back. He can't lead me on, and then ignore me all of a sudden. There's so much more that I don't have to worry about Leon doing. He can't reject me. He can't hurt my feelings and make me feel unwanted. He can't tell me I don't belong. He can't tell me my beliefs are unfair to his nonbeliefs.

Oh yeah, and Leon is really really sexy!

In my mind, Leon S. Kennedy is whoever I want him to be. He's a fictional character, so one can only imagine what he'd be if he were real. In my mind Leon, you are exactly what I want out of future husband. In my dreams, you are tough, yet gentle, you treat me the way I deserve to be treated, and you love me. You appreciate all of the things that I do.

In my mind I went to my prom, because you were there to take me. And had I sacrificed that night instead to do something for you, you would have appreciated it. And remembered that, and you would have made it up to me, instead of turning me down, telling me I didn't belong.

In my dreams, Leon, I can feel your arms around me, holding me tight. It seems so clear in my dreams, I hate to wake up. I'd dream forever if the night would never end.

I can only imagine being Jacqueline Kennedy, your wife. Ironic isn't it, that there really was Jackie Kennedy?

I was in a relationship for 3 and a half years, and maintained my virginity. It's really important to me that it goes to my future husband, a man that obviously deserves it because he's willing to spend the rest of his life with me. Leon, in my mind, you definitely deserve it more than anyone. My Immature embarrassing crush on you helped me. I'm getting over someone I never thought I'd be over, and its all because of you. My friends are great. I love them! But I need someone to direct my love energy to. No man that has asked me out since then has been any help either. You've been a bigger help than any rebound guy.

Thank you Leon, for being the image that you are of my perfect guy. For having the looks of what I think would be a sexy guy, if he were real. A real hot sexy guy that will never hurt me. And that's why I love you, I don't have to worry about you hurting me. Maybe there is a lot that I'm missing out on, but I know I will one day find someone who will make me feel the way I dreamed you made me feel.

I feel better knowing I can't have you because you're not real, then knowing that its because you just don't like me, or you love someone else. No one else can really have you either!

I can't have you Leon, but your character has given me an idea of what I want in my future. I dream that some day I will find someone who possesses all the qualities that I imagine you to have.

Thanks for being there, Leon. If you didn't exist, I'd probably be more pathetic than I am now, but only lacking more confidence. Thanks for helping me move on, for that I will never forget you.