Do you know how many 'Arizona Robbins' there are on the internet? One. See you tomorrow.
Arizona was in shock. She was that Lauren? The Lauren she had met on the internet a few months ago?
A few months later.
''Arizona! I'm leaving for work, I don't know when I'm back. Take care.'' Callie said and rushed out of the apartment. Arizona didn't answer her, she was still mad at Callie for cutting her leg off. But as soon as she heard the door close she opened her laptop. A few weeks ago when she was surfing around on the internet she had found a website. The description was 'Are you feeling lonely and just want a friend you can talk to and nothing more than that? This is the right place for you.' And that was exactly what she needed. Of course she could always call Teddy, but she was far, far away now and it wasn't the same. She wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't judge her for what she was feeling for her wife at the moment, so she created an account on the website. You had to write your name, e-mail, and a password and of course come up with a username. She chose ArizonaThePediatrician. After a few minutes she got one of those confirmation e-mails and she could log into the website. When she was in she had to pick a profile picture, she chose a picture of a beautiful bird because she didn't want people to see her face. And then she wrote a bio about herself 'My name is Arizona. I'm a pediatrician and I'm here because I want a friend. Feel welcome to write to me anytime!' She felt pretty weird when she sat there and wrote that. But she saved it and turned off the computer and started to watch some TV instead.
It wasn't until three days later that someone actually wrote to her. Her name was Lauren and she wrote
Hi Arizona. I'm a doctor too, a craniofacial specialist actually. And I just want a friend too. I hope you're doing well :-)
Hi Lauren. A craniofacial specialist? That's so cool. I've never worked with a doctor like that before! I'm fine, how are you? :-)
I'm just fine too. What a quick reply! Aren't you working today?
Nope. Not working today, are you?
Yes. I'm just on a break right now so I may have to leave soon. Did you always want to become a pediatrician?
Okay. Yes, I've always loved the tiny humans! And what about you, did you always want to become a specialist in the craniofacial area?
No not always. It's a rare specialty and I wasn't very interested of it until when I did my internship. The hospital I worked on back then had one of the best craniofacial surgeons in the country.
That's so cool. I've wanted to work in peds since I was 15.
Arizona waited 20 minutes and Lauren didn't reply so she decided to turn off the computer again. It was really nice to have someone to chat with like that, someone who didn't know about the leg or about her relationship with Callie. And the chatting continued. She talked to Lauren at least once a day and she really liked it. They talked about work, TV, the world and stuff like that. But never about something personal and Arizona liked that. But after a month of talking Arizona got curious, who was Lauren? Did she have kids? A husband? A wife? So when Arizona logged into the website a late Friday night when she couldn't sleep she decided to ask Lauren.
Hi Lauren. How has your day been?
Arizona! My day has been very good. I had a very interesting case today. How was your day? Did you work?
Really? Did you perform a new surgery, something you haven't done before? No I wasn't working. Actually I haven't been working for a few months now…
Yes, it was a new surgery that I've only read about before. But I saved the kid. You haven't? Why? If you don't mind me asking…
That's great, what's better than the feeling you get after saving a life? Maybe you've heard about a plane crash where six doctors crashed on their way to a hospital? Well, I was on that plane and I lost my leg.
Yes, I've heard about it.I'm so sorry, Arizona. And it must be hard for you to talk about this, so thank you for trusting me.
I haven't really talked about it before, it's just so hard to even think about it. But it's still haunting me every night.
I've never been through a trauma that big so I cannot say that I know how it feels. But I've heard that it feels better to talk about it instead of hiding it.
Everything was just so horrible. The plane crashed in the woods. And I was alone with the pilot and he was hurt and my leg… I could see my bone. And my friend Lexie, she died. And her sister Meredith, Cristina and Derek were hurt but they were 'okay'. And Mark almost died, but Meredith, Cristina and Derek saved his life. And we were there in the woods for days before someone could find us.
Wow, Arizona. I don't know what to say. But I'm glad that you survived, my days always get better when I talk to you.
Thank you, Lauren. Is it okay for you that I keep writing about what happened in the woods? I just feel like I have to get this off my chest. You can just answer 'okay' if you don't know how to answer.
Yes, I'm here to listen.
I don't remember anything about the hospital they took us to. But I remember about when we came back to our hospital. I was so mad at my colleague, Alex. He was the one who was supposed to be on the plane, but we had a stupid fight so I said that I'd take his place on the plane. And because of that I lost my leg. And my friend Mark, he died when we came home.
Do you want to continue?
I have a fake leg now. I hate it, I hate it so much. It hurts and it's hard to walk with. And if I don't use it I have to sit in a freaking wheelchair.
That totally sucks. But think of it this way; you survived. You were in a plane crash and you survived. And now you're alive and you can be happy again.
I know. Thank you for listening. I have to go now, until tomorrow?
Until tomorrow.
Arizona felt a lot better when she was about to sleep that night. It was nice to have someone to talk to, someone who didn't know anything about her past. That was the first night since the crash that she fell asleep without thinking that she'd rather be dead than alive.
Arizona?
Lauren, hi! Not working today?
Nope. Not working today.
Great, any plans?
No, I have no plans at all. Empty life, ha-ha.
Ha-ha! You can always chat with me for a while? Thank you again for listening yesterday. It felt so much better after.
I'd love to chat with you. It feels nice that I could help you.
:-) Now can you tell me something about you? All I know is your name and what you work with and we've been talking for a month!
What do you want to know?
I don't know… How old are you?
I'm 35. And you?
I'm 37. Do you have a family?
No. I had a girlfriend, but we broke up a few months ago. Do you have a family?
I'm sorry for that. I have a wife! And we have a daughter together.
Its fine, I'm much happier without her. Aw, you have a daughter? That's so cute!
I'm glad that you're happier. Yes, she's very cute. She's two years old now.
Did you adopt her?
No it's actually a long story. To make it short; me and my wife took a break. I moved to Africa and when I came back earlier than planned she had had a one night stand with her best friend and unfortunately it made her pregnant. But I'm glad for that now. Sofia is one of the best things in my life.
That's great, that you're happy with the situation.
Yes it's great.
I got a call from the hospital I have to leave. We'll talk later? Have a great day!
Okay. Good luck!
Lauren always felt happier after she talked to Arizona. But damn… she was falling for a girl over the internet. A girl who had a wife and a kid! This was so, so bad. But she kept on talking to Arizona and it made both her and Arizona happy. And suddenly the day came, the day she didn't want to come…
Dear Lauren. I came here to tell you some bad news or maybe they're good? I guess that it depends on how you look at it. When I first created this account I was both sad and lonely. I was depressed because of the crash and my leg. But I opened up to you and that helped me a lot. It helped me forgive and understand. Callie only wanted the best for me, she decided to cut off my leg instead of killing me. And today I am so, so thankful for that. I love Callie and I've finally decided to forgive her. And now I'm going back to work so I won't have time to be on the internet and talk to you. But thank you, Lauren. Thank you for everything. I wish you the best in life. And I guess this is good bye then. Love, Arizona xx
Lauren didn't know how to respond. She just sent away a message that said that she was happy for Arizona. And she was, but still she wasn't. She had strong feelings towards Arizona. And now she wouldn't talk to her ever again. And it hurt, it hurt so much. She missed Arizona every day. She was starting to slowly get over her when her boss called her and said that she had to fly to Seattle to work on a case there. All she knew was that it was a kid and that Arizona was a pediatrician who lived in Seattle. There was a chance that she was working on Arizona's hospital, but there were so many hospitals in Seattle. But there was still a small chance… S
She flew to Seattle the next day. And when she came to the hospital the first morning she decided to take a coffee. She went to the cafeteria and ordered a coffee. She ordered a normal coffee, there was only the cafeteria woman, Lauren and a beautiful blonde in the cafeteria that early in the morning. The blonde doctor took the coffee cup with the name 'Lauren' on it, Lauren started to laugh when she saw that the blonde had taken the wrong cup.
''I'm Lauren.''
''Uh... Okay. Hi Lauren.'' The doctor replied.
"No, I meant Lauren, as in the Lauren on the coffee you're way over sugaring."
''Yikes. I'm so sorry. I'm – I'm so sorry. You know what I didn't even look-''
''No, it's no problem. This you?'' she said and took the coffee cup the cafeteria woman put in front of the women.
''Yeah. That's me.''
''See you around, I hope.'' Lauren said and before she walked away she looked at Arizona's lab coat and read the name Dr. Robbins.
She thought about Arizona all day. When she was around her and when she wasn't. She couldn't believe that she was working on a case with her Arizona. The girl she had fallen in love with over the internet and who had stopped talking to her six weeks ago. And now she met her. But it wasn't until the end of the day in the elevator she finally confessed for Arizona who she was. And she could barely sleep that night. All she could think about was Arizona.
And Arizona couldn't sleep much either. Dr. Boswell was Lauren? The girl she became friends with when she was depressed last year. She couldn't deny that she didn't miss their conversations on the computer, but as soon as she forgave Callie she felt like she was cheating on the every time she talked to Lauren. So she had to stop talking to her and it hurt but she managed to send that goodbye message and delete her account. And now almost two months later she came back to her, but in real life. She finally managed to fall asleep, but she could only sleep for two hours until she was paged. She had to go to the hospital and so was Lauren.
The little boy they were working on suddenly had something wrong with his liver. He had never had it before and it wasn't because of the surgery. But Arizona and Lauren managed to save him together. After the surgery Arizona went to an on-call room to sleep a few hours before her shift actually started. She laid down on the bed and she was almost asleep when she heard a knock on the door.
''Arizona?'' It was Lauren and Arizona just couldn't ignore her so she opened the door.
''Hi.'' Arizona said and looked at the woman in front of her, she was beautiful.
''Can we talk?'' Lauren asked and looked around the room to be sure that Arizona was alone.
''Yeah sure.'' Arizona answered and she closed the door.
''Why did you stop writing to me?''
''You know why. I explained it to you in my last mail.''
''So our friendship didn't mean anything to you?'' Lauren asked.
''Of course it did!''
''How could you just stop then? We talked almost every day for months and then you just… stopped.''
''I had to. I felt like I was cheating on Callie.'' Arizona admitted.
''You – you liked me?'' Lauren asked and looked happy.
''Yes… No or yes. Maybe. Yes, I was starting to like you a little more than I should.''
''I like you too, Arizona. A lot.'' Lauren said and walked closer. There wasn't more than a few centimeters between them now.
''Lauren… I can't.'' Arizona said.
Lauren didn't answer. She just kissed Arizona. It was soft. Their lips met for only a few seconds before Arizona pulled away.
''Lauren…'' she said again. ''I can't do this to Callie.''
''I know…'' Lauren said. ''I – I love you.''
Arizona was shocked. She didn't know what to say. She gave Lauren a kiss again. A longer one this time. And then she quickly pulled away and said ''and I wish that I could love you too.'' And then she walked away and left Lauren alone in the on-call room. She didn't look back, she didn't want Lauren to see her tears.