Rewritten : June 20th, 2012

15 February 2012

06.30 AM

The Main Bedroom of Caelum's Mansion.

Lightning POV

"Where are you going, Noctis?" I softly whispered softly as I sat on the huge cold bed. I held my sad gaze to him, even though I knew he'll never look at me. He never did nor tried anyway. To my surprise he didn't freeze at my sudden approach, but rather continued with his task, tying down his black combat boots as if he had known that I was awake and just waiting for me to voiced out whatever I need to tell him.

"The HQ need me." came his curt reply.

"At this hour ?" I managed to find my voice. It's still half past seven in the morning but he already went for work. I may not worked in his division, but I'm sure as hell that our work time was at eight AM. Not a freaking half past seven AM.

Silence ensued between us before I managed to take out the forming lump in my neck and asked him again.

"When will you come back?" I timidly asked as he got up and started to make his way to the door.

"Soon." he vaguely answered. "Anything else you would like to ask me?" he asked rather monotonely and dare I say, coldly. I mutter up all of my courage and said a sentence, which has long time buried on my voice and head every time he sneaks out from the house.

I hesitantly got out from the cover and walked slowly to him.

"Please.. stay, Noctis." I said with as much confidence and courage I could muster that time. But I didn't dare to face him; instead, I stared at the cold granite tile under my feet.

"I can't. You should have know long time ago." he said and turned the knob and opened the door, but he stop on the middle.

"Stop worrying about me. It won't bring any benefit for you." then he left with a soft click of the lock. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer nor could my wobbly legs support my shaking figure. I collapsed right there, my emotions got the better hold of me; kicking my logical mind out of my mind.

"How did I get tangled up in this trouble? It should be a normal, platonic arranged marriage between two powerful lieutenants and also as two heiress from different thrones. One of us shouldn't have any feeling. Gaia, what did you have in store for us ?" I thought as I poured my wrenched heart out into unwanted tears and sobs.

How many times will it take...

...To get it right

.

He never really explained why exactly the HQ need him these days, he never bothered. As if he politely asked me to keep out of his business. But I know I can't do that. I'll always worry over him, especially if he's going into a mission or some special cases missions. It's not like I doubt his abilities at the field, he has proved himself too many times to be counted, but no matter how strong, how fast, how intelligence, how stealth, or how accurate he is at using any kind of weapon, he's not invisible; he's not a God, even though he has God-like appearances. He's still a normal human, only with superior abilities and intelligence. He can get killed, even though he has cheated out from the death too many times.

It has been two years since our marriage and one year since I started to developed some much deeper feelings for him. We did consummated our marriage, but it's what most people call as "fuck". We need to relieve each other needs, so yeah... Everything's just going forward and fell into its place. I took less missions from the HQ and played the elegant and mighty Mrs. Caelum while he played his part of husband on the public. It never bothered me on the first year, where I didn't have any feeling for him, since I was still a bit infatuated with Cid, and the same goes to him. Last time we properly have a non-formal conversation, which was a long time ago, he still held some feelings for Stella.

As our life kept revolved every day, our relationship never go anywhere more than friends slash wife husband with benefit.

Especially after that incident, everything spiraled out of control. We're drifting apart. But none said anything. Just silence as the bomb ticked by; waiting for the unpleasant explosion.

.

Flashback

eight months ago, 23 June 2012

.

Noctis was sent into a special case mission, where he lost many of his men on the field for the first time. He was barely conscious when he was brought into the hospital. I was in my office back then, twiddling my finger above the unsigned paperwork. I felt uneasy on the early morning back then; it only got worse at night. So when I was called by Prompto, I couldn't help but let panic and fear controlled my emotions and brain. I left my paperwork right away and dashed to the hospital.

When I got there, Noctis was already awake and stared blankly at the window that presented him the sky of the night. Of course, I relieved at the sight of him alive and breathing, and I can't help but be a worry wart and asked so many rhetorical questions, just like any girl would do if she was told that her love interest admitted to the hospital and almost died. You know what I got instead ?

"Lightning, stop being so annoying and noisy. I'm fine. You don't need to be that worried like I'm still 5 years old. Just shut up and leave me.'' he said with menace and cold edge on his voice.

I was surprised and felt like I was slapped on the face. I left right on that second. But what surprised me more, that that second I turned around from closing the door, Stella was in front of me; panting like I a few minutes ago. We politely nodded to each other before she went into his room.

the fact that he didn't usher her away like me, broke my heart. I thought that he'd do the same to her, but after fifteen minutes worth of waiting, she never left. What makes her so special, Noctis ? Until you can't forget her ? What did I lack of ? Was she your first love ? But I could get over mine, so why couldn't you ?

.

After that, everything went downhill and it made me keep unfocused at the task in my hand. Which, cost me a failed mission.

A freaking failed mission.

Then like the universe really despise me, while I was still mourning for my failed mission, facing Noctis' indifference to me ever since he heard I failed a medium level mission, I heard some nasty rumors. It was said the Noctis only agreed to marry me since I was deemed strong enough, for my beauty or for my positions and respect I have.

And the rumors got nastier every time.

I tried to ignore it until I was told that he wanted me just for his perfect baby machine, that he hates an over protective gir. It was said that he prefer a girl that won't worry over him every second, who don't need to be told that he's okay, nor a weak girl. Is that why Noctis has distanced himself ?

I couldn't help but break down once more. Tears soaked my face and dripped down to my chest. Who would've thought that THE Lt. Lightning Farron will turn to be an emotional girl because of the dark prince ?

Where is the logical minded, Lightning Claire Farron I was ?

How could you be so heartless ..

Gotta upload the next chapter tomorrow. My father will be done with his whatever he does soon. And we all know that my parents don't know that I'm an authoress here. And now I have my own laptop and God, it really helps me with the update. Thank you for everyone who has reviewed, since I can't mention it now with the limited time, and sorry if this story is really confusing. Ja ~

and R&R ! :D