Adrianna's thoughts after she took her drugs when she was carrying Navides childand how she reflects on wether or not she is cut out to be a mother. If you havent seen the episode SPOILER ALERT!
Disclaimer:
Dont own 90210 but found it upsetting
AdriannaPov
I sat down on my bed and wrapped my hands around my knees letting the warm, Salty tears slide down my already wet cheeks.
Why?
Thats all I could think of. How could I have been so stupid and selfish? Here I am carrying a child who was being so loyal and kind about the fact i was pregnant and not even with his child yet he is disobaying his family's wishes just to be by my side.
I didnt deserve him.
I was just plain selfish. Here I am putting my childs life in danger and yet Annie was in a love triangle, Dixon was supporting Silver through her metal break down and Niomi was putting up with people STILL backstabbing her and her pearent's divorse.
Navide will be angry and upset. Hell he might even leave me. I could try and blame this on others that have never done a single thing wrong, even Annie who I hated at first because she stole my so called 'Limelight' or even my pearents by telling myself that this was all because they had raised me wrong.
But deep down I always will know it was all my fault.
More large tears fell from my eyes, down my cheek and of my chin and jaw on to the silk sheets underneath my curled up body. Because of one stupid life threating choice I made the child I am carrying right now could have health problems when I give birth. Mentally and/or physicaly.
I could blame it on the man that sold me them.
I could blame it on my mother and father.
I could blame it on my friends.
I could blame it on Navide.
I could blame it on telivision.
I could blame it on Books or magazines.
I could blame it on the internet.
Or the worst one I could blame it on my unborn child.
But it's my fault.
It was my disision.
I should of been stronger.
I could or resised.
But I didnt. I decided to be weak.
I'm the one I should be putting the blame on.
I'm the one I am putting the blame on.
I was the one that took the drugs.
I was the one who put my child in danger.
And I hate my self for it.
When this episode was on T.V I cried when I watched the part where she told Navide she took drugs. She SHOULD have been stronger. I dont blame her though. It is a sad angsty one but not one of the saddest.
Please review to tell me what you think of this oneshot and what you think of Adrianna taking the drugs while she was pregnant.
Review xx