Once upon a time, there was a vast kingdom named Gryffindor in a faraway country known as Hogwarts. This realm was lush and beautiful with sparkling lakes and green hills, populated with kind townspeople and a benevolent Queen.
Indeed, nothing was ever amiss in this peaceful kingdom; everyone was as gay as they could be and wars were not commonplace at all despite Gryffindor's reputation of battle prowess. Red and gold banners hung everywhere in the kingdom, proudly waving in the wind like a mighty fire flickering in the wind and saluting any weary travelers. Gryffindor's emblem, the mighty lion, brought smiles instead of fear and laughter instead of tears to anyone who beheld it.
One would believe that this place was paradise and completely devoid of sadness.
For the most part, this was true… Until one autumn day, just hours after the banquet held in celebration for the Princess' birthday.
"The Princess is missing!" cried a servant frantically as he dashed down the Great Hall of the castle.
The Queen stood up from her great throne, square spectacles gleaming severely at the servant. Tall, with emerald green robes and hair drawn up in a black bun, she was rather intimidating and obviously did not accept nonsense from anyone, even if they were Godric himself. Her smooth voice usually calmed people instantly with its steadiness, but when it was raised, no one could escape the tremors of apprehension that would flood their spines.
"What do you mean by that, Creevey?" she demanded sternly.
The poor boy stumbled over his own feet, eyes kept low so as to hide from the most frightening witch in all of Hogwarts.
"The Princess was supposed to be taking her tea in the Library this evening and I was sent to deliver it," he gasped out as if on the verge of hyperventilating. "But when I arrived, the window was smashed into bits and books were thrown about everywhere and she was gone!"
As if just remembering, Creevey reached into his pocket and drew out a wand that was clearly not his own, as he almost dropped it because of its unfamiliarity.
However, everyone else in the Hall recognized the distinctive leaf-like pattern carved into the vine wood.
An hour later, the Queen decreed an extensive search for the Gryffindor Princess throughout the entire kingdom. She sent the Prince and his faithful knight at the frontlines of the search party, hoping fervently that her protégée would be returned safely and intact by the end of the week.
But Prince Harry and Sir Ron did not find a trace of the girl anywhere, to the Queen's immense distress. She then contacted her fellow rulers from the other three nations for a request to search their respective territories as well, as they all had respected the girl very much for her wit and magical talents.
Unfortunately, although the entirety of Hogwarts attempted to locate the Princess, not even a curl of her voluminous brown hair could be discovered at all.
But then a mystic soothsayer with spectacles that magnified her eyes stumbled into Slytherin's palace and told Lord Severus that a dragon had captured the Princess for its own, loudly shrieking about how the Princess would soon be consumed by the beast completely and that dragon would vanish as well to erase all traces that could be pursued.
More anxious than ever, Queen Minerva and her advisors hastened to increase incentives for finding the Princess.
"I hereby decree that the man who retrieves Princess Hermione from the deadly dragon shall be awarded the Princess as his wife, if he so pleases!" the Queen announced desperately. And her somewhat feminist leanings spiked up as a result. "Any woman or already married man who succeeds will be granted a place in the royal court of any of the four kingdoms of their choosing!"
All the townspeople from the four kingdoms quickly bustled into action, their efforts exponentially. And now that they knew more about where to look, the dragon's infamous lair was located quite quickly and was soon surrounded by potential suitors or aristocrat-hopefuls.
A burst of white-hot fire erupted from the cave suddenly, burning the ones with slower reflexes into crisps and frightening many of the others still remaining. They dashed off into Gryffindor's famed green hills, terrified out of their wits and sure that the Princess was not worth their maiming or deaths.
Prince Harry and Sir Ron were two of the survivors who also had no real ulterior motives other than the fact that they both loved Hermione very much and just wanted her back home, so they weren't scared off by the beast's anger. Instead, their inherent Gryffindor valor and courage were enflamed by the danger presented and they worked to somehow breach the strong wards around the entrance of the cave, fiercely weaving spells that their Hermione had taught them long ago.
They finally succeeded after seven days and seven nights, exhausted but still determined to retrieve their best friend. Prince Harry had flicked his wand for a final flourish and the last ward flickered away into nothingness while his redheaded companion ventured in first.
Apparently, the cave's opening was much more wide and deep than the two had first anticipated. A tunnel fitting only two people side-by-side appeared after a few yards of walking and the duo, with wands clutched firmly in their sweaty hands, strode for miles into the tunnel while praying that the Princess was still alive and well.
Their prayers were mercifully granted, albeit in a manner they did not expect at all, really.
Happy they were eventually free from the constricting darkness of the tunnel, Prince Harry and Ron darted about the candlelit clearing joyously while still peering about for their lost companion.
To their tremendous shock, however, beyond the piles and piles of gold coins and jewelry, was not a weeping maiden in chains with a terrifying beast with a forked tongue guarding her but something else entirely, but nearly as terrifying.
Deeper into the hollow of the cave, a girl with familiarly unruly curls was laughing an equally familiar laughter that resembled the tinkling of bells. She seemed happier than ever from what the Prince and his knight could hear, but they were sure it was a mere illusion cast by the dragon or whatever conspirators were involved. As they stepped cautiously closer to the sound with wands drawn to deactivate the supposed mirage, the two were puzzled to realize that no such enchantment was cast at all.
Apparently, what they saw was real and in no way fabricated.
"So I suppose I can get my reward once I bring you back," a smooth, masculine voice said silkily. "Clean-cut plan, isn't it?"
The Princess' reply was just as merry even though Prince Harry saw her lightly smack her kidnapper on the shoulder. "You're such a Slytherin, Draco. And hoarding all this gold when you could've used it to help any of the four kingdoms? Agh, sometimes I wonder why I'm so attached to you."
The Prince's emerald green eyes widened in terror. Staring at his similarly mute companion, he mouthed attached?
The redheaded knight stared.
"Because I'm devilishly handsome and irresistible," a man with silvery blond hair smirked conceitedly, although his face melted into a fondness for the girl in his arms. "Of course you'd have to love me."
Sir Ron silently gagged, mouthing love to the Prince with an expression of tremendous disgust and disbelief.
Both rescuers were in a stagnant condition of the mind – confusion and chaos ruled their brains completely.
The only thing that really snapped them out of their trance was Hermione's sudden peck on her abductor's lips.
"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" cried Sir Ron furiously, cheeks as crimson as his fiery hair. His wand was pointed directly at the unknown man currently pushing Hermione behind him. "LEAVE HERMIONE ALONE!"
The blond man sneered challengingly, confidence emanating from his every pore. He drew out a wand from his pocket and twirled it around his fingers loosely. "Or what?"
The Prince sensed a strong type of magic building up but it was more feral than anything he'd encountered before. It was even less human than Lord Voldemort's when Harry had defeated the Dark wizard who tried to usurp the entire country of Hogwarts a few years ago. Even though he didn't sense much malice in the signature, the Prince learned from experience to not underestimate anything he wasn't familiar with.
"Um, everyone please calm down. Hermione, can you please just explain what's going on?" Prince Harry asked diplomatically. "We just broke through all the charms on the cave to rescue you… By the way, where's the dragon?"
Hermione cleared her throat and shoved the lithe blond man a bit out of her way.
"Hello Harry, Ron," she said a bit nervously. "Draco doesn't mean any harm – he isn't dangerous, really. There isn't really a dragon, you see, but I guess the mystic I heard about wasn't wrong when she said that there was one."
"What do you mean?" Sir Ron questioned while glaring at Draco, who gave the knight a momentary glance before looping his arm tighter around Hermione's waist.
"Well… Draco means dragon in Latin, technically… And he's an Animagus," the Princess explained, swatting away her lover's wandering hands. He was always more touchy when his treasure was even remotely in danger of being removed from his clutches. Although she did adore being in his clutches, actually. "He carried me off because of some rubbish about my eyes glowing gold in the sunlight or something, but then things just happened and we fell in love."
Jaws dropping at this confession, Harry and Ron could only stand in silence at the fairly unlikely couple before them. In tales that had been told to them during their childhoods, the handsome prince or chivalrous knight was always the one to win the maiden, definitely not the kidnapping, fire-breathing dragon itself.
Ronald was the first to recover from his stupor. Suspiciously, he inquired, "And how do you know he feels the same about you? He just said he was going to bring you back to Gryffindor for the reward!"
Hermione looked disapprovingly at Draco, who had been uncharacteristically docile during their little exchange. "He's a Slytherin, what would you expect from the crown Prince?"
"C-C-Crown PRINCE?" Sir Ron exploded. "He's the guy who's been missing since Voldemort got killed by Harry? The MALFOY?"
"Yes, I know many people would love to scream my name in ecstasy – although I do believe you're overusing it, Weasley," he drawled indolently, smiling slightly when he noticed the increasing vividness of scarlet of Ron's face. "She's mine just as I'm hers."
They shared another warm, romantic moment by looking into each other's eyes. Molten gold and quicksilver reflected off each other in that moment.
"Wait, but if he really loves you and he's already technically part of the Royal Court, then why did he say he wanted the reward of being appointed a part of the Court?"
The lovers stared at Harry as if he were the thickest sod they'd ever come across.
"We're getting married, Potter," Draco replied slowly, annunciating the word married. "That way, I'd technically have no real barriers with the national laws and such, you understand? The person to return Hermione would get her as a wife 'if he so pleases' – a free-pass without any disputes."
"A happily ever after," Hermione supplied to her awestruck best friends. "That is, if you don't tell Minerva that the kidnapper's Draco."
"Of course we'll have to –"
She levelled a dark glare at Sir Ron, who shrank back and did not look at all like the fearsome warrior of battle he'd been rumored to be. Even the dragon himself shifted himself slightly to avoid her now completely frightening countenance, his pale hands stilling on a safer position on her shoulders.
Satisfied with the results acquired, Hermione nudged her lover. "Alright, I guess that means we should head to Gryffindor now."
All three boys startled, puzzled about her chain of logic.
"Well, we've been found out!" she huffed, hands on her hips exasperatedly. "And the cave's been freed from all protective enchantments… What if some Dark wizard shoves himself in and sees the Crown Princes of Slytherin and Gryffindor here?"
Ron was disgruntled, stomach growling impatiently. "Um, this might sound sort of daft, but is there any food in this dragon cave?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and pointed at a table that looked like it was carved from bronze standing in a corner, laden with delicacies and beverages. "There. Stuff yourself while I prepare for our trip back."
Even without her wand in her possession, she darted about with manic speed and dragged out a few ropes from underneath a golden chest.
"Done!" she said triumphantly after tying several nooses into the cords. Marching up to Draco, she cleverly maneuvered the hawthorn wand from his relaxed fingers and muttered a few quick charms that somehow transfigured the rope into sturdier belt-like links. "Alright, we'll just put these on and a quick Wind Repellent Charm as well as a Warming Charm and we're set!"
"Uh, Hermione…" Harry said cautiously, wondering if her time as a semi-hermit had somehow driven her utterly mad. "The journey home will be at least four weeks so shouldn't you be packing clothes, food, that kind of stuff?"
"Pssh, that's only on foot, Harry," Hermione answered, tapping the wand on her forehead and flushing from the sudden warmth spreading through her every limb. She did the same for Ron and pulled Harry closer for her spell to activate.
A minute growl sounded through the cave and Harry remembered that the blond Prince was indeed a dragon, Animagus or not. Protective and always hoarding treasures, he'd read in some of the books his Defense Against the Dark Arts tutor had supplied him with. Apparently, Hermione hadn't been lying when she implied that the Slytherin was a territorial beast.
"No, no, absolutely not! We're not doing that," Draco snarled, sharp white teeth glinting feral. "Only girls – you, specifically – ride me. Not those berks."
"Well, if you object to them quote riding you, then they'll have to return home the same way you came for me. In your mouth," she replied sardonically. Hermione clearly did not lose her ability to speak the well-crafted dialect of piercing sarcasm.
By now, both Harry and his knight were facing extreme discomfort from this conversation that could be interpreted in multiple ways, most of which were terribly misconstruing and inappropriate.
"Can't we just leave them? A wedding only needs the bride and groom in question!" exclaimed Draco, his face contorting when he imagined the two sods in his transformed mouth. Hermione had at least tasted delightfully sweet, even if she was screaming loud enough to give him a migraine that tingled even now when she raised her voice into that particular shrill pitch.
"No."
She looped the belt-harnesses around her waist and then threw them over a bemused Prince and knight, tightening until everyone was connected and stuck in that manner.
"When we get outside, transform into your Animagus form."
With barely a second after her command, she spun on her heel with Draco's wand still in her possession and disappeared with a POP.
Sighing, the Crown Prince of Slytherin could only start his lonely trudge down the narrow pathway all the way to the mouth of the cave. He couldn't fight his beloved Princess when she became absurdly stubborn in such times; a true snake knew when to slither back into the grass in times of danger. Besides, she'd already disarmed him of his wand, heart, and apparently his wits.
He'd already sacrificed his pride and dignity for the bushy headed witch more times than he'd ever be able to count, but he was fairly sure that it was an investment well-made if his primal instincts were any indication.
He'd better bloody have his happily ever after if he was going to let two idiots ride him.