A/N: I know it's been forever since I updated The Gateway, but it will be done, soon. The chapter is done, I just have to edit it and post it. I had to get this up while it was still fresh in my mind from tonight's shit show of an episode. When will they stop shitting all over Regina? Will she ever have happiness? If they won't give it to her I will.
She just buried the love of her life.
She hadn't felt a single emotion since she watched Robin's soul leave his body. She was completely numb.
Zelena held her hand as they walked to Granny's. Her baby started to cry. Robin, Regina thinks with a bittersweet smile as she looks down at her niece. Zelena bounces her with one arm, keeping her other tightly around Regina's hand. She's making a shushing noise but Regina can barely hear it over the ringing in her ears. Robin is gone. How did this happen? Why did this happen? She knows whose fault this was but he's gone. Hades is gone she reminds herself as she walks closely with her sister. She takes stock of Zelena and notices the unshed tears in her eyes. She's going through the same thing. Both sisters losing their loves; both had no choice, but that doesn't make anything easier-does it?
Regina squeezes Zelena's hand and they share a sad smile. They stand in front of Granny's and both take a deep breath before they enter. They've since closed their umbrellas; the dreary mist has stopped for the moment and they stand outside for a moment to collect their thoughts. Both know what is about to happen, they are going to be overwhelmed in the diner but neither knows if it will be a warm welcome.
"Regina!" a voice calls from behind them.
She half turns to see Snow and Charming walking up to the diner with baby Neal in his stroller. Regina's heart breaks, as she looks at the little boy, so similar to Henry at that age. Now she'll never have another chance to add to her family. Robin was the one, her second chance. She knows of anyone, she most definitely does not deserve another chance, she doesn't even believe she deserved the second but she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Before she can lose herself to her emotions, Snow's arms envelop her in a tight hug. She maintains her connection with Zelena but wraps her free hand around Snow's back and hugs her almost as tightly. Their relationship is definitely unique, but she knows they're in a good place right now. A place where they are friends, family even and Snow has always been a hugger, so she allows herself this moment of weakness and leans on the other woman for support.
She steps back from the hug and nods at Snow, telling her she needs more time. Snow's face falls from the hopeful look, but she nods back, I will wait until you're ready she conveys as she squeezes Regina's forearm before heading to the entrance of the diner.
Charming is now holding Neal and gives her a small, sad smile before following his wife. He pauses in front of Regina and leans in to her ear, "We're here when you're ready," he squeezes her shoulder and kisses her forehead paternally before entering the diner behind his wife.
Regina lets out a choked breath. She will not cry again. She will not cry again. She repeats to herself and counts to 10, then to 20 before she feels in control of her emotions again.
Zelena simply waits patiently for Regina to feel ready to face the population of Storybrooke that will want to convey their sympathies to the now reformed Evil Queen, or perhaps they'll be out for her head-she never can tell with this finicky bunch anyways. She's hoping that being on the good side of the Charming's will prevent a lynch mob, but perhaps that's just wishful thinking.
"Ready?" Zelena whispers when she notices Regina's breathing even out.
She receives a nod in response followed by a squeeze to their conjoined hands before Regina lets go and walks up to the front door. Zelena follows with baby Robin, now asleep in her arms.
Regina's barely through the door before a squealed out "Gina!" is heard throughout the diner and a pint-sized, browned haired human is barreling toward her. She barely has time to brace herself before Roland is attached to her legs.
"Roland" she croaks out, a mixture between a sob and a whisper. She reaches down and rubs his back soothingly until he loosens his grip and she can bend down to his level.
She looks him in the eye, so much like Robin, she thinks sadly. "I miss you," he cries as he throws his arms around her neck.
She's stunned but her instincts have her wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back. He missed me? She's surprised he even remembers her. It's not like she and Robin were dating for too long, and some of that time was spent in other lands while Roland was here with the Merry Men. She glances up from her squatted position on the floor to see Little John merely nod at her and move back to his seat at the bar.
"I eat with you?" Roland asks into Regina's neck. She can do nothing but nod and pick him up as she moves to a booth. He does not let go as she sits down and she merely resituates him into a more comfortable position, never asking him to let go of her neck or loosen his vice like grip. Zelena sits across from them with Robin still in her arms. Regina continues to rub soothing circles on Roland's back as she stares blankly at her sister.
Zelena offers a small smile when suddenly there's food placed in front of them. Regina looks up to see Henry standing at the side of the booth with plates of food and a small smile, "You need to eat Mom," he says quietly as he sits next to her and Roland. He says nothing about the young boy hiding in his mother's neck but instead digs into the plate of food he made for himself. So much like his other mother, Regina thinks with another sad smile; another broken soul who lost her love. She wants to be mad at Emma. If it wasn't for her, Hades would have never came to Storybrooke, and Robin would have never died, but Regina made the choice to follow Emma to the Underworld and Robin made his choice to follow Regina. All of these choices led to this day, but it doesn't make it any easier. Instead of feeling anger toward the blonde in question, she feels nothing, just like she hasn't felt anything since that awful moment in her office. She's shaken from these thoughts when she feels Roland tentatively move away from her neck and look over at Henry. Henry winks at Roland, the boy who has become like a little brother to him these past few months, and points at the food, "You need to eat too, Ro. I brought enough food for everybody." He says this last part while looking to Zelena, who gives a genuine smile at being included and reaches out to snag a piece of cheese from one of the plates.
Roland smiles at Henry and shifts around so he's facing the table, still sitting of Regina's lap. He carefully reaches out and grabs a grape as he stares over at Zelena. "Baby Sister?" he questions quietly when his attentions moves on to the baby in her arms.
Zelena lets out a small smile and nods, "Yes, Roland. This is your little sister. Would you like to know her name?"
Roland stares at her quizzically. He doesn't really know who she is but he does know that before, she always made his dad and Gina sad. He looks up to Regina and sees her staring at the plate, but not eating. He pulls the plate closer and holds a piece of cheese up to her lips. She's taken aback, but she gives a small smile before eating the cheese. Zelena smiles at the interaction and turns her attention back to Roland. He nods at her once he sees Regina eat the cheese he gave her and reach for more of the food on the plate.
"Her name is Robin," she says looking at her sleeping daughter.
Roland doesn't quite understand, that was his dad's name. "Like Papa?" he questions.
Zelena looks up at Regina who is pulled from her own dark thoughts at the innocent question from the boy who could have been her son. Her eyes fill with tears but she blinks them away and says, "Yes, Roland, just like your father. There's not a better name to give to your sister and Zelena and I are going to make sure you and Robin grow up knowing that your father was the best man, alright?"
He nods and leans back against her chest, tucking his head under her chin. She resituates her arms to hold him better and continues to eat the food in front of her.
Henry watches her as she absentmindedly picks at the food and he shakes his head. His mother has always done everything with a purpose and here she is, a shell of her usually larger-than-life self. He turns to look at Zelena. His aunt. They need each other, he thinks as he looks between them. He internally sighs; I have to do everything around here. "Where are you staying Zelena?" he questions out of the blue.
The redheaded woman is startled and looks over to Henry. Her nephew. She smiles at him in a way she hopes is inviting and not menacing. "I'm sure I'll be staying at the farmhouse with Robin."
"You should stay at the mansion," he says with a shrug.
This causes both his mother and his newly found aunt to look at him with wide eyes, "What?" they both ask.
He shrugs again, "It's not like you have to stay at the farmhouse. There's plenty of room at the mansion, and you and Mom don't deserve to be alone right now."
The sisters look at each other and share a smile, "I'd like that," Regina says.
"We have to make up for lost time," Zelena adds with a small smile.
And it's settled. Just like that. Henry smirks at his own cleverness and stands from the booth. He watches Regina's face fall before she can cover it up with a small smile, "I'll be right back Mom," he says as he heads back for more food.
"Gina?" Roland whispers.
She pulls back and looks at his face, "Yes, Roland?"
He sits up and looks her in the eye, "I go too?"
She looks quizzically, "What?"
"I go with you?" he whispers just as quietly, his eyes never leaving hers.
Regina pauses. She never knew Roland was so attached to her. But I suppose he always had Robin to fall back on, but now he's gone and I'm the only other parent-figure Roland knows. She shakes from these thoughts and looks into the chocolate eyes in front of her. She sighs knowing she cannot promise him anything. He's been staying with the Merry Men, and they probably won't want to give him up. She wants nothing more than to pick him up and take him home with her, but she does not want to cause a fight, she just doesn't have the energy to fight Little John and the rest of the Merry Men. "I don't know, Sweetie. You don't want to stay with Little John?" she asks.
Roland shakes his head and wrinkles his nose, "He makes me sleep on the ground again. I want a bed like at your house." He leans close to her ear and conspiratorially whispers, "And he smells like trees."
Regina chuckles at his young logic. That chuckle quickly turns to a sob as she thinks about how much Robin loved the forest. What would he have wanted for Roland? Would he want him to be raised by Little John and the other Merry Men? Or would he want him to be raised in a home with a mother? She's torn and bites at her bottom lip as she stares at the boy in front of her.
"Don't be sad Gina, Papa says no tears." Roland grabs both of her cheeks and pulls her face to his so they're nose to nose. "No tears," he repeats.
"No tears," she says with a wet smile.
"Hey Ro, we've got to head back to camp before the storm gets any worse," Little John says as he walks up to their table.
"No," Roland sasses, "No go. I stay with Gina." He crosses his arms and doesn't move from Regina's lap.
Little John looks up to see Regina just as shocked at his outburst. She looks up at him and gives a small shrug. Little John sighs and leans down to look Roland in the eye, "Come on Ro, you're not staying with Regina, you're coming back to camp. Now let's go."
He holds out his hand but Roland crosses his arms tighter and leans back against Regina's chest. "NO!" he yells.
Little John sighs again and runs a hand along his face, "Roland," he says exasperatedly.
"No," he repeats, "I wanna stay with Gina."
Little John looks back up to Regina who still hasn't moved since Roland's initial outburst. "Regina?" he whispers quietly.
She turns to look at him and raises an eyebrow haughtily, "Yes?"
With another sigh he murmurs, "You don't have to front with me, Regina. You're allowed to grieve, I won't judge you, we all miss Robin."
"I do not need advice from you Forest Man," Regina sasses.
Little John holds up his hands in defeat, "Of course not, Your Majesty." He watches her visibly flinch and he immediately wishes he could take it back, but instead of apologizing he says, "Look Regina, I'm not going to force Roland away from you, but if you're not okay with this, then I'll just take him back to camp."
Regina looks down at the little boy on her lap, "He will be fine staying with me for a while."
Little John nods and says, "Alright Ro, how about I stop by sometime tomorrow and see how you're doing and if you want to come back I'll get you then, okay?"
"I won't want to," Roland says as he lifts his nose away from Little John.
With a chuckle, Little John leans over and kisses the top of his head. He looks up at Regina and says, "If he's too much trouble, I'll take him back tomorrow, alright?"
"We'll be fine," she says condescendingly.
Little John nods and walks out of the diner.
Tonight would be interesting. That's for sure.
What'd you guys think? Should I continue this? I have a tentative plan if I do continue, it could potentially be slow-burn SwanQueen but I mostly want to focus on Regina's relationships in general. Tell me your thoughts:)