Disclaimer : I do NOT own Fairy Tail.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
Lucy Heartfilia unlocked the door to her apartment and pushed it open. She took a step in as her eyes fell on a huge framed picture on the wall, she took a deep breath as memories related to the same picture crossed her mind. All she could do was close the door behind her before falling on her knees, as tears of anguish blurred her vision. She crawled to a corner and leaned back on the wall hugging knees. Watching him with someone else every single day, Lucy didn't know what she had done to deserve this. Her heart felt like being shattered to pieces. She sat there as her eyes roamed back to the picture on the wall right across her. She remembered taking it a year ago when they were still together.
"Natsu.." the name escaped her lips in a whisper as she found it hard to breath. "...it hurts.. it hurts.. it hurts.. so much." she sobbed uncontrollably.
She took out her phone and dialed a number so fast like her fingers knew it better than her. She was about to press the call option, but his words started repeating in her mind. Lucy, I am sorry but this isn't working out. She stopped herself right away and dropped the phone near her feet. The memory of that day was still fresh in her mind, like it happened just yesterday. She hugged her knees tighter hiding her face, as her body shook uncontrollably.
"...it h-hurts."
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
Lucy sat on her couch curled up at one corner as some show played on her TV which had her least attention. Her eyes were fixed at the wall. There were huge bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her petite body looked so much thinner. She wondered, does he never notice her anymore? Does he never feel like asking why she didn't look her pretty self like she did before? She smiled painfully. At least he is happy in his life.
Her phone suddenly started ringing beside her, startling her in the silence. Her heart skipped a beat. Could it be him? She immediately reached for her phone and pressed the answer button without noticing the caller's ID before bringing it to her ear.
"Hel-..."
"Hey Lu-chan. I was wondering if you're coming over for the party. Erza, Mira, Gray, Juvia, Natsu and Lisanna are here too." came her best friend Levy's voice from the other side. Her heart felt like breaking again. What was she expecting? Worse was when she heard his name. Natsu and...Lisanna? She smiled painfully as tears clouded her vision again, she bit her lip trying not to give her pathetic self away to Levy. She pressed a hand to her mouth taking the phone away from her.
"Um... Lu-chan?" she could hear Levy's worried voice. She took a deep breath wiping away the tears and brought the phone back to her ear.
"Ah Levy-chan, I am so sorry.. I would have b-but.. I... um have some chores to do today, I am really sorry. Next time it will definitely be a yes." was all she could say before hanging up the call without giving Levy a chance to say anything in reply. She threw her phone at the other side of the couch and let out a painful groan before breaking down in tears again. She hated herself for being like this while he was having the time of his life. What was her fault? That her promises weren't a lie?
"N-Natsu... Do I n-never cross your mind? D-Did we n-never happen?" she mumured in between sobs.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Lucy squeezed the phone in her hand so tight, pressed to her chest that her knuckles had turn white by then. Her eyes fell at the clock on the wall above her bedroom door. It was already over 1 in the morning. She looked out of the window and watched the night sky. It looked pitch black with no hint of the moon or stars. Isn't this just how her life was right now? She let out a humorless laugh. Even the nature is mocking her. She touched the other side of the bed, it was cold. As cold as her heart with no warmth of love she was seeking. She looked at her phone that still had his number dialed on the screen. Lucy smiled painfully as tears started streaming down her cheeks. Her grip on the phone weakened as it fell from her hand.
"Natsu.. Please.. Come back.. I need you! I just need you now." she said out aloud in one breath before starting to sob again hiding her face in her palms.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
Natsu was leaning on the bar with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked around the hall, his eyes searching for a certain someone. He couldn't help but look over at the door whenever it opened, hoping that it will be her, Lucy Heartfilia entering the party in all her glory like she always did.
"Hey Natsu, how's the party?" Levy's voice caught Natsu by surprise as he tilted his head looking over at her.
"Oh hey Levy. Happy Birthday again, the party is good." he gave her a little smile before taking another sip of his whiskey.
"Thanks Natsu." the petite bookworm smiled. Natsu nodded before his eyes darted back to the door as some other person, probably one of Levy's relatives entered the hall.
"Um Natsu? Are you looking for someone?" he heard Levy's voice again from behind him. He turned to her wholly this time and smiled.
"No..? Who would I look for? Everyone I could possibly know is here in the party." he said, honesty the last thing in his voice.
"You can't lie to me, I can see it in your eyes. You seem restless." she admitted as he sighed.
"It's nothing really, don't bother about it." he shrugged before ordering another glass of whiskey. Levy sighed this time and looked at him with worried eyes.
"It was your choice." she said. He stared at the empty glass in front of him as the memories of the day flashed in front of him.
Yes. It was his choice, his decision. He was the one to blame here. He ruined the best relationship anyone could ask for, with no hint of hesitation. Until he realized later, he really loved her after all. Every single day without her, every single moment without her felt like a burden. Lisanna.. the girl he left Lucy for, started feeling like a distant stranger. His physical body was with her but his eyes always kept searching for Lucy, the girl he really was in love with. He didn't know why he didn't realize it sooner, before walking out of that relationship. He was just a huge jerkass after all. Lisanna and him weren't together anymore. And all he wanted was to be back with Lucy. To hug and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. That he would give away everything to be with her. That his promises this time won't be a lie. That he will make her the happiest woman around. But he was scared, scared of rejection.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
She never looked at him after that day. Never even spared a glance at him. The thought of her already moving on haunted him like no other nightmare. He knew what he did to her was the worst thing anyone could have thought of. But he had gone through the same pain over the past few months. And the fact that he did it to himself and her, both wasn't making it any easier for him.
"Natsu...?" Levy's voice brought him back to reality.
"Uh.. Um.. Sorry.. Lucy.. I mean Levy." he said before shaking his head. The waiter had already served a new glass of whiskey in front of him. He gulped it all down at one go.
"Do you want me to call her and ask her to come here?" Levy offered as Natsu's heart skipped a beat. He turned to her looking a little surprised.
"W-Will you?" he asked as she smiled.
"As long as you promise me to take away all her pain and make her happy again." Natsu suddenly felt confused.
"Do you really think she have moved on from a 4 years old relationship just like that? How much more stupid can you be, Natsu?" Levy sighed before taking out her phone from her purse. As for Natsu, he felt like the biggest jerk in the whole universe. Even though he still wasn't sure if she wants him back in his life, after all these months. He had not seen her for weeks, the last time he saw her she looked so much thinner. Now that he realized it was all his doing he couldn't feel any worse.
"Hey Lu-chan. I was wondering if you're coming over for the party. Erza, Mira, Gray, Juvia, Natsu and Lisanna are here too." said Levy over the phone as Natsu stared hoping it will be a positive answer. There was a few moments silence as Levy looked over at Natsu, he raised a brow and she shrugged.
"Um... Lu-chan?" Levy tried again as Natsu waited, getting more impatient as each moment passed.
He heard a little murmuring from the other side of the line before the call got disconnected. Levy stared at Natsu for a moment then sighed heavily.
"She's got things to do today. She won't be coming." came her reply and that's all it took Natsu to feel all his hopes getting shattered. "I am so sorry Natsu.." she said again.
"It's okay, you tried." he said. "I...um...I am a little tired. I'll see you on Monday at work." he gave her a little smile. "Happy Birthday again and thanks for the food." he waved a hand before walking away from her. She watched him leave with worry completely visible in her eyes.
"Don't worry, it's about time. It will all be over soon." came someone's voice as Levy turned around only to see her fiancee Gajeel Redfox standing at the end of the bar, smiling at her. She smiled back and nodded.
"I...hope so."
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Natsu stood outside her apartment. The spare key to her apartment was still in his jacket pockets. As much as he wanted to just barge in and pull her in a hug, he just couldn't. He wasn't brave enough to meet what was waiting for him at the other side of the door. Even though Levy's words kept echoing in his mind, one can't move on after 4 years of a relationship, he just didn't know anymore. She might have, without anyone realizing. What if she already did? Will he be left like this? Desserted and alone in his own mind and heart. But again, he knew he deserved it. He deserved it all for hurting the only woman that was there for him when no one else was. He payed her back with betrayal in love. He deserved worse. But he just couldn't bring himself not to think of them together.. happy.. again. He needed her. He needed her badly more than he ever did, anything or anyone. She is the only one for him and he knew it too well to let go of the hope that still was there in his heart, making him want her back in his life, at any cost.
But does he deserve her? After all that he did? Natsu felt all his determination draining out of him as he remembered how he left her for someone else. He felt his blood turning cold as he remembered cheating on her after all that she did for him. No he doesn't. Someone like him doesn't deserve to be even a part of her life. Natsu turned to leave as he felt his heart begging him to stay. But his mind knew better, he didn't belong here anymore. It was his choice to walk out, he deserves the loneliness and pain.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Natsu took a step forward but stopped as his phone started to ring. He searched inside his jacket pockets and took it out. His heart stopped as he noticed the caller ID, Lucy. He immediately pressed the Answer option and brought the phone to his ear out of instinct.
"Natsu.. Please.. Come back.. I need you! I just need you now." Natsu gulped as he heard the desperation in her voice followed by the painful sobs. He felt like the worst person ever. How could he bring someone as cheerful as her to this breaking point? How did he fail to notice all the pain she was going though all these months? He shook his head and decided something. He won't be doing this to her anymore. He might not deserve her, but he won't let her get hurt anymore. Natsu turned back to the door and unlocked it with the spare key he had. A part of him was still scared that she will push him away but he was too determined to care. He was there to correct the mistake he made. And he is not going back now.
Natsu stepped into the apartment as he felt nostalgic all of a sudden. Everything was right at the place as he left it. He looked around as his eyes stopped at the huge photo frame on the wall. It was right at it's place too. She didn't move it from there. Natsu felt tears froming in his eyes, he blinked and tried to brush this feeling off that kept reminding him of how he doesn't deserve her at all, at least for the time being. He headed upstairs with slow steps making sure he doesn't startle her. He stood outside her bedroom upon reaching there, his hands were sweating. One thing he knew though was that he can't go back now.
Natsu slowly pushed open the door that wasn't even closed properly. And that's when he saw her as his blood turned cold at the sight. She was lying on the bed, wearing one of his old shirts that he might have left back mistakenly. She was hugging the teddy bear he gifted her on their 1st year anniversary. Natsu took a few steps inside and realized she was asleep. He walked to her and felt his heart hurt at how she looked. So much thinner. Her face was scrunched up , it was one of her sleep habits. He couldn't help but smile. Natsu stood there watching her, as if memorising every single detail of hers carving them in his mind, over and over again. He leaned down closer to her and brushed a few traces of hair from her face behind her ear.
Natsu crawled to the other side of the bed. His side.. He took off his jacket and threw it at someplace in the room. He didn't know why but just a couple minutes ago he was feeling like going back. But now.. not anymore. He made his mind to stay, with this beautiful woman beside him. Till the very end. And he is not letting her go, ever again. Natsu slowly took the teddy bear away off her arms and tossed it at one corner of the room. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. Lucy's body tensed up which worried Natsu, but she relaxed a few moments later, cuddling closer to him and hugging him tight. He smiled and kissed her forehead bringing the blanket over both of them.
"Natsu...?" Lucy suddenly looked up rubbing her eyes, she looked somewhat shocked.
"Yes, it's me Lucy. I am back." he said smiling at her with hopeful eyes. He was praying and hoping that she won't turn him away at this point. Lucy stared at him for a minute before smiling.
"Welcome Home, Natsu." and that's all it took him to pull her in for a kiss.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh, baby, I need you now.
Another NaLu oneshot. I know I am horrible for how I started the story, please don't hate me T^T But anyway, hope y'all liked how it ended ^-^. Leave a review, I know I am a crappy author but your amazing reviews keeps me going hehe, make sure to check out my other stories too! Love you all and see ya, till next time! Hugs and Kisses xoxo
Song ~ Need you Now by Lady Antebellum