A Tiny Speck
This world is a barren wasteland,
I am but a tiny speck.
In all the rocks by the sand,
I meet up with my wreck.
I see through the masks of many,
But they can't see through mine.
For your thoughts I'd give a penny,
But for mine, I'll charge a fine.
A thousand words are wasted now,
As you speak so steadily.
But as for me, I question how,
To answer you so readily.
I have tricked Fate long enough,
And I've always paid the price.
I've learned to keep on acting tough,
'Til I meet with my demise.
Once now and then, I hold my breath,
While inside I scream and pray.
That maybe one time, I'll meet with Death,
And I'll go with him someday.
I fought in wars and sometimes lost,
And I think of all that's been.
But mostly about the pricey cost,
Of all I've done and seen.
In this world, I'm no innocent,
No angel or hero to praise.
They make me bleed and leave a dent,
But I die from a tiny graze.
The smallest pinprick in my heart,
And I open up my face.
I see them suffer, and I take part,
But we leave in separate ways.
Good-bye to Earth, and all of Space,
I know we'll meet again,
I'll come and visit from my place,
If only I knew when...
A/N: Explanation: Heero's life is all a mask of his feelings. He knew that Dr. J wanted him to be the perfect soldier and he became one, but only to please them. He had his outer emotions taken from him, but in his heart, he still is also a human. He still feels regret and remorse. When he killed those pacifists in the OZ plane, he felt remorse and guilt; when he killed that little girl, he carried the guilt with him and didn't smile again, like he lost his innocence along with being lost himself.
He protected Relena because she managed to somehow find a flaw in his ice cold barrier and let herself into his heart. She persevered in trying to get to Heero, not because she was some lovesick stalker, but it was because she was enthralled by him and was curious on how he got that way, and what she could do to help. That's the way that Relena is, she loves to help people and hates to see people hurt. She does have some understanding that even though she believes strongly in pacifism, that Heero and the pilots can only bring peace through the wars that they fought. Relena saw all that, and Heero's heart opened a bit, to the point where he showed some minimal care for her.
Maybe you think that I'm getting too deep into this, and probably I am...but this is just one of my most melancholy moods that I'm having at the moment, and this is another new light that I see Heero in. As in the seventh stanza, the bleeding and the dent refer to all that has happened to him in the hands of Dr. J, OZ and the world, but he doesn't die from that, he dies inside when something tragic touches his heart, it can be something small, but if it has an impact, then it will cause him more grief than what can happen to him. Like the girl he killed, as I said before, he lost his innocence that day. The mobile suit killed more people than that little girl, but that little girl was the one that touched him, because she showed that she cared.
As I said before, I'm too deep into this, and I hope that you can see it my way also. I wrote this poem to portray my point of view. Many people probably disagree with me, but this is my take on his situation.
For a longer explanation, e-mail me at: hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com