So here I am..This fic has been lingering for a long time.So decided to post it.
Yeah. This fic was written after watching a tv show called Titus . Its wacky , strange, bashing of Southern americans(aww...don't worry i love all you guys..) And not meant to offend...just a vain attempt to make some kid laugh.
Disclaimers:Awww..we don't own anything, we're just kids on suger highs that some day hope to take over the world with our evil army of Chibi -pink hippo's. All we have is play money...
Dail B for Baby.
"BRAAAAAAAAAAADDD!!!" Nagi whined from the backseat of Crawford's car.
"ARE WE THHHHEEEEERRRRRREEEEE yEEEETTT?"
Brads eye twitched.
Nagi and Farfie were both in the back seat while Schu was in the front passenger seat and the only one of them who could drive at the legal speed[Brad] was ..well..driving.
Fighting Weiss was a hard job and same with work and taking care of his 'family'
When Brad started seeing little pink chibi-hippo's trying to eat him in the office, Takatori made him go on vacation.Relieve some stress.
Of course Brad couldnt escape the rest of Shwartz, and they just /had/ to come along.
So here they were , all the way in the United States driving through the southern parts .
It was hot and sticky and unpleasant.
What made it worse is that the youngest member of Shwartz wouldn't stop asking 'Are we there yet?'(Kitty notes:In almost all my fun fics I make Nagi and farfie the kids and Schu and Brad the parents) Brad's eye twitched again.
"So where are we going?" asked Schu with his feet on the dashboard.
"To New Orleans " replied Brad fixing his eyes on the road, trying to keep himself from killing the two in the back who were fighting over a paper fan. Brad started counting backwards from 10.
For awhile now, they were driving. Farfie had falling asleep and Shuldich shut nagi up by turning on the radio. Brad put in his handy dandy ear plugs and finally got some peace and quiet. Schu stared out the window trying to pick up the thoughts of strangers. He wasnt succeeding because for a long time there weren't any houses in sight. They had already passed the heavily populated cities and highways even the cushiony looking neighbourhoods. All they saw now were dirt farms!
'Ever so exciting' thought Schu.
Soon after , their silence was broken once again by Nagi.
"BRRRAADD..Im HHHUUUUNGGRRRRRYYY..."
Brad's ear plugs popped out.
"My feeeeeet are falllling assssleeeeep"
Brad's eye twitched once more.
"IIIII'MMMM booooorrrrrrreeeeeeddd"
Both of Brads eyes began twitching.
"I'm-.."
"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP BACK THERE OR I'LL STOP THIS FUCKING CAR AND LEAVE YOU ON THE SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD!!!!DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS AMERICAN HICS ARE?..NOW SHUT UP!!!"
Nagi , along with everyone else in the car huddled in their respected corners.
Braddy could be scary when he wanted to be.
After a few minutes of golden silence....
",,,,brad?....."
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT?"
Farfie yelled at the mention of God and pulled out his half-chewed knife.
"..er..sorry farf..for the love of..uhh...not God?.."
"Oh thats better." said Farfie in relief before going back to sleep.Nagi continued in a small voice.
"....I have ta go to the bathroom..."
Brads eye twitched again.
"Brad,just Stop . We all need a brake and we've been driving for hours." said Schu, who was also getting restless.
"If we stop now , we'll be off schedule..do you really want to be off schedule..SCHEDULE??!!"asked Brad as if being late was equivalent to the end of the world.
"Just a few freakin' minutes ok? Then we can get back on the all mighty schedule ..look theres a dinner thing, stop there!" said Schu grabbing the steering wheel and heading for the café. Brad slammed on the brakes before they went through the window.
"Go for it Nagi!" said Schu as Nagi scrambled out of the car and headed for the diner.
"Im going in too, I should phone and tell the hotel we'll be late because of Nagi's weakness "
Brad got out of the car and walked towards the road-side café. Schu rolled his eyes.
Inside the café , brad saw empty booths , some old rusty stools by the grimy counter and a creepy old man behind it.
"Heh...What do you want?..are you the owner of that rude little girl? You should keep her on a leash!" said the old man. Brad looked down upon the old duffer superiorly.
"Listen..uhh..sir, Can I use your phone?"Asked the oldest Shwartz member.
"Phone?..Phone?WE here ain't got no phone. We got letters though and carrier pigeons but no fanvy pants phones"
"Do you even know what a phone is?"
"....."
Brads eye twitched.
"It's a machine you use to talk with, do you have one?"he explained.
"Well I done hear don't know , MAAAA!!? Do we have one of them there talking machines?" yelled the strange old man.
From the back came a cripply (Kid:is that even a word? Yasha:Shut up!!*whaps the kid*)old women carrying a broom. Brad looked at his watch wondering how long this was going to take.
"This here Folkel wants to use our talking machine"said the old coot.
"You pulled me out of a good scrub down for that?" asked the cooky old woman.
"You see Ma here needs to be scrubbed every week to pull off all that dead skin" said the man motioning to Ma. Brad shuddered at that thought."hmmm pleasant ...listen I just need to make one call ok?"
The old woman reached underneath the counter and pulled out one of those old fashioned telephones. It was a really weird phone. Brad picked up the receiver ..or atleast what looked like a receiver and went to dial but...it had no buttons .Like I said, it was a REALLY old model.
"Umm..how do you use this?" he asked feeling stupid.
"This here is a newer model, before our time, but our grand daughter here knows what to do with the consternate thing " grunted the old woman.
"MARY SUE!!! get yure bottom in here girl!" she yelled. Brad winced at the terrible shrill of her voice.
A few seconds later , after the ear-shattering call, in walked a young woman.She had short brown hair and brown eyes and would be really pretty except for the bulging tummy sticking out of her short green tank top. She was also wearing a short skirt.
"What Ma?" asked the girl.
"Mary sue, how do you use that there phoney thing?" asked the old Man.
The woman waddled over to the phone and looked at it, then at Brad.
"Were you raised in a barn? Don't you know how to use a talking machine?" growled the woman. Brads eye twitched.
She picked up the receiver and placed it to her ear.
"Now you just-...YEARRRRGG!!! AHHH!!" screamed the woman in pure agony.
Brad jumped. She clutched her stomach.
"IT FUCKING HURTS!!!" she squealed clutching her tummy. The old couple just stood there like they did when Brad first arrived.
"Oh my God!! What do we do?"asked Brad to the people.
"...."
They stood there.
"We need a doctor!" he yelled catching the girl as she nearly fainted.
He hoisted her to one of the booths and layed her down.
"Hello...doctor..we need one!" exclaimed Brad .
"It fucking hurts!!"
The woman was now hysterical laying in the booth with her legs sprawled apart.
"Uhh...calm ..down...please.."
"HELP ME DAMMIT!!" now she just looked possessed. She was sweating heavily , hyper-ventilating and Brad was sure he saw her head spin.
"Im sorry but I have to go" Brad tried to explain but the woman grabbed him by the collar of his suit and in one strangling motion, pulled him to be at eye-level with her.
"Now you're gonna help me whether you like it or not...YOU HEAR ME?!!" yelled the ferocious woman.
Just then, who should walk in but Shuldich.
"What the fuck is taking so long?" he growled angrily.
"Farfie is getting restless and hungry....plus he's been eying me for the longest time and..."
Schu looked at the scene of Brad bent over a pregnant girl and 2 old people behind a counter watching them.
"OMIGOD!! BRAD, YOURE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A PREGNANT WOMAN?..WITH THE PARENTALS WATCHING?YOU BASTARD!...*sniff* ..what about meeeee???" whined Schu glomping Brad around the waist and whimpering. Brads eye twitched.
"Schuldich, shut up and get back in the car", just then , the pregnant woman pushed Crawford out of the way and pleaded to Schu
"Will you fucking help me?"
But Schu had already lost interest and was ordering a beer from the old couple.She yowled in pain and began squeazing Brad's hand with hers.After it started turning purple and Braddy Couldn't take it anymore, he finally caved in.
"Alright , ALRIGHT!! I'll help you , just spare my fucking hand!" he then turned to the old couple who were dishing out cans of beer to Schu.
"Who can help us?"
TBC....
Wow...talk about sucky vacations, What will happen? Wanna find out?...it does get better
I promise....Please review peeps.It helps, this one is only gonna be in 2 parts but...aww...i hope people like this... I worked real hard...Review...Please..or I'll send an extremely annoying whiny Nagi after you...wait many of you would probably like that...NAGI-TELETUBBIE!!!...yah..im hyper...so what?
~~~~~~LOVE ALWAYS BABY!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah. This fic was written after watching a tv show called Titus . Its wacky , strange, bashing of Southern americans(aww...don't worry i love all you guys..) And not meant to offend...just a vain attempt to make some kid laugh.
Disclaimers:Awww..we don't own anything, we're just kids on suger highs that some day hope to take over the world with our evil army of Chibi -pink hippo's. All we have is play money...
Dail B for Baby.
"BRAAAAAAAAAAADDD!!!" Nagi whined from the backseat of Crawford's car.
"ARE WE THHHHEEEEERRRRRREEEEE yEEEETTT?"
Brads eye twitched.
Nagi and Farfie were both in the back seat while Schu was in the front passenger seat and the only one of them who could drive at the legal speed[Brad] was ..well..driving.
Fighting Weiss was a hard job and same with work and taking care of his 'family'
When Brad started seeing little pink chibi-hippo's trying to eat him in the office, Takatori made him go on vacation.Relieve some stress.
Of course Brad couldnt escape the rest of Shwartz, and they just /had/ to come along.
So here they were , all the way in the United States driving through the southern parts .
It was hot and sticky and unpleasant.
What made it worse is that the youngest member of Shwartz wouldn't stop asking 'Are we there yet?'(Kitty notes:In almost all my fun fics I make Nagi and farfie the kids and Schu and Brad the parents) Brad's eye twitched again.
"So where are we going?" asked Schu with his feet on the dashboard.
"To New Orleans " replied Brad fixing his eyes on the road, trying to keep himself from killing the two in the back who were fighting over a paper fan. Brad started counting backwards from 10.
For awhile now, they were driving. Farfie had falling asleep and Shuldich shut nagi up by turning on the radio. Brad put in his handy dandy ear plugs and finally got some peace and quiet. Schu stared out the window trying to pick up the thoughts of strangers. He wasnt succeeding because for a long time there weren't any houses in sight. They had already passed the heavily populated cities and highways even the cushiony looking neighbourhoods. All they saw now were dirt farms!
'Ever so exciting' thought Schu.
Soon after , their silence was broken once again by Nagi.
"BRRRAADD..Im HHHUUUUNGGRRRRRYYY..."
Brad's ear plugs popped out.
"My feeeeeet are falllling assssleeeeep"
Brad's eye twitched once more.
"IIIII'MMMM booooorrrrrrreeeeeeddd"
Both of Brads eyes began twitching.
"I'm-.."
"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP BACK THERE OR I'LL STOP THIS FUCKING CAR AND LEAVE YOU ON THE SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD!!!!DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS AMERICAN HICS ARE?..NOW SHUT UP!!!"
Nagi , along with everyone else in the car huddled in their respected corners.
Braddy could be scary when he wanted to be.
After a few minutes of golden silence....
",,,,brad?....."
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT?"
Farfie yelled at the mention of God and pulled out his half-chewed knife.
"..er..sorry farf..for the love of..uhh...not God?.."
"Oh thats better." said Farfie in relief before going back to sleep.Nagi continued in a small voice.
"....I have ta go to the bathroom..."
Brads eye twitched again.
"Brad,just Stop . We all need a brake and we've been driving for hours." said Schu, who was also getting restless.
"If we stop now , we'll be off schedule..do you really want to be off schedule..SCHEDULE??!!"asked Brad as if being late was equivalent to the end of the world.
"Just a few freakin' minutes ok? Then we can get back on the all mighty schedule ..look theres a dinner thing, stop there!" said Schu grabbing the steering wheel and heading for the café. Brad slammed on the brakes before they went through the window.
"Go for it Nagi!" said Schu as Nagi scrambled out of the car and headed for the diner.
"Im going in too, I should phone and tell the hotel we'll be late because of Nagi's weakness "
Brad got out of the car and walked towards the road-side café. Schu rolled his eyes.
Inside the café , brad saw empty booths , some old rusty stools by the grimy counter and a creepy old man behind it.
"Heh...What do you want?..are you the owner of that rude little girl? You should keep her on a leash!" said the old man. Brad looked down upon the old duffer superiorly.
"Listen..uhh..sir, Can I use your phone?"Asked the oldest Shwartz member.
"Phone?..Phone?WE here ain't got no phone. We got letters though and carrier pigeons but no fanvy pants phones"
"Do you even know what a phone is?"
"....."
Brads eye twitched.
"It's a machine you use to talk with, do you have one?"he explained.
"Well I done hear don't know , MAAAA!!? Do we have one of them there talking machines?" yelled the strange old man.
From the back came a cripply (Kid:is that even a word? Yasha:Shut up!!*whaps the kid*)old women carrying a broom. Brad looked at his watch wondering how long this was going to take.
"This here Folkel wants to use our talking machine"said the old coot.
"You pulled me out of a good scrub down for that?" asked the cooky old woman.
"You see Ma here needs to be scrubbed every week to pull off all that dead skin" said the man motioning to Ma. Brad shuddered at that thought."hmmm pleasant ...listen I just need to make one call ok?"
The old woman reached underneath the counter and pulled out one of those old fashioned telephones. It was a really weird phone. Brad picked up the receiver ..or atleast what looked like a receiver and went to dial but...it had no buttons .Like I said, it was a REALLY old model.
"Umm..how do you use this?" he asked feeling stupid.
"This here is a newer model, before our time, but our grand daughter here knows what to do with the consternate thing " grunted the old woman.
"MARY SUE!!! get yure bottom in here girl!" she yelled. Brad winced at the terrible shrill of her voice.
A few seconds later , after the ear-shattering call, in walked a young woman.She had short brown hair and brown eyes and would be really pretty except for the bulging tummy sticking out of her short green tank top. She was also wearing a short skirt.
"What Ma?" asked the girl.
"Mary sue, how do you use that there phoney thing?" asked the old Man.
The woman waddled over to the phone and looked at it, then at Brad.
"Were you raised in a barn? Don't you know how to use a talking machine?" growled the woman. Brads eye twitched.
She picked up the receiver and placed it to her ear.
"Now you just-...YEARRRRGG!!! AHHH!!" screamed the woman in pure agony.
Brad jumped. She clutched her stomach.
"IT FUCKING HURTS!!!" she squealed clutching her tummy. The old couple just stood there like they did when Brad first arrived.
"Oh my God!! What do we do?"asked Brad to the people.
"...."
They stood there.
"We need a doctor!" he yelled catching the girl as she nearly fainted.
He hoisted her to one of the booths and layed her down.
"Hello...doctor..we need one!" exclaimed Brad .
"It fucking hurts!!"
The woman was now hysterical laying in the booth with her legs sprawled apart.
"Uhh...calm ..down...please.."
"HELP ME DAMMIT!!" now she just looked possessed. She was sweating heavily , hyper-ventilating and Brad was sure he saw her head spin.
"Im sorry but I have to go" Brad tried to explain but the woman grabbed him by the collar of his suit and in one strangling motion, pulled him to be at eye-level with her.
"Now you're gonna help me whether you like it or not...YOU HEAR ME?!!" yelled the ferocious woman.
Just then, who should walk in but Shuldich.
"What the fuck is taking so long?" he growled angrily.
"Farfie is getting restless and hungry....plus he's been eying me for the longest time and..."
Schu looked at the scene of Brad bent over a pregnant girl and 2 old people behind a counter watching them.
"OMIGOD!! BRAD, YOURE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A PREGNANT WOMAN?..WITH THE PARENTALS WATCHING?YOU BASTARD!...*sniff* ..what about meeeee???" whined Schu glomping Brad around the waist and whimpering. Brads eye twitched.
"Schuldich, shut up and get back in the car", just then , the pregnant woman pushed Crawford out of the way and pleaded to Schu
"Will you fucking help me?"
But Schu had already lost interest and was ordering a beer from the old couple.She yowled in pain and began squeazing Brad's hand with hers.After it started turning purple and Braddy Couldn't take it anymore, he finally caved in.
"Alright , ALRIGHT!! I'll help you , just spare my fucking hand!" he then turned to the old couple who were dishing out cans of beer to Schu.
"Who can help us?"
TBC....
Wow...talk about sucky vacations, What will happen? Wanna find out?...it does get better
I promise....Please review peeps.It helps, this one is only gonna be in 2 parts but...aww...i hope people like this... I worked real hard...Review...Please..or I'll send an extremely annoying whiny Nagi after you...wait many of you would probably like that...NAGI-TELETUBBIE!!!...yah..im hyper...so what?
~~~~~~LOVE ALWAYS BABY!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~