|So as I have gotten older and have gone through a few semesters of college I have developed an appreciation for drunk stories and the use of other substances and the humor that comes with it. This includes a few rather interesting conversations and moments I've had with my parents.

This story is made up of a bunch of different conversations I've had and experiences as well so I hope you all enjoy.

This is somewhat based off of that. In the fact that I think it would be great if Dick and Bruce got drunk together. So let's get right into it. |

It was a blissful fall afternoon and the day after thanksgiving. While the downtown area of Gotham was in an uproar over the black Friday sales. The scene at Wayne Manor was quite different. It was a lazy Friday afternoon and millionaire Bruce Wayne was spending some quality time with his eldest son.

Bruce was sitting in the foyer reading his paper his son sitting next to him reading one of the many books that was sitting around the house. He came across an article in the paper about underage drinking in the city and how it was plaguing the city's youth.

Glancing from his paper to look at his son, "Hey Dick?"

Not looking up from his book. "Yea Bruce?"

"Have you started drinking yet?"

His voice was of slight concerned and genuine curiosity. Dick poked his nose out of his book and turned to his father and thought for a moment. "On occasion I have."

Bruce nodded his head, after all he didn't expect any child to wait until they were 21, but a father can dream his boys do the right thing. "Your responsible when you do, I hope."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Yes Bruce I'm carful when I drink."

"Just making sure." However, Bruce now had a bunch of questions for him, after all what father wouldn't want to know about his sons drinking habits.

Putting his paper down Bruce deadpanned. "You aren't a lightweight are you?"

Dick closed his book and tried to blow off the question. "I don't know I never drank enough to find out."

Bruce grinned "Sure, of cores you don't." A plan started to form in Bruce's head. It was only him and Dick in the mansion at the moment. Alfred was off with family and Tim was at the mountain with the rest of the Team. It was time for some good old father and son bonding time. "Wait right here."

Dick looked slightly confused but sat still and waited for Bruce to come back. It wasn't five minutes until Bruce walked in holding a bottle and two glasses. Dick had a slight smile on his face, he had a hunch where this was going. "What did you grab?"

"Well Dick, your what? 18?"

"19."

"Right, well your old enough to serve your country. You've been fighting crime since you were 9. I believe your old enough to drink with your old man. But if you tell Alfred or Tim I'll deny everything."

"It's hardly 2:00 in the afternoon Bruce. We have hardly eaten anything all day." Dick tried to sound responsible but he was smiling from ear to ear.

Bruce smiled back. "Please, this is when all Wayne men." Pausing and nodding to his son. "And Grayson men, have a stiff drink."

Dick chuckled, "Well then old man. What are we drinking?"

Bruce cracked the bottle and poured them each a glass. "Johnny Walker, Dick I'm going to teach you how to drink Scotch." And with that the two clinked glasses and started what would be a very long night.

3 Drinks in

"You've only drank on occasion so far?" Bruce was grinning and speaking in mock disappointment at his son.

Gulping down the last part of his drink Dick turns to his father. "You ever tried going shot for shot with a speedster?"

Bruce now having a good buzz going poured his son another. "Don't tell me that your drinking buddies are Wally and Roy."

Dick had a guilty smirk on his face. "Sorry Bruce."

"You know as well as I do that they only ever drink the cheap shit." Bruce now also on his forth drink. "So? What sort of drinkers are they?"

"Well, Wally usually goes for the cheap Smirnoff Vodka. High alcohol content. That metabolism of his makes him quick to get tipsy but quick to sober. So he has to drink a lot to stay drunk." Dick was starting to really feel the alcohol at this point. "And that Roy. He's more of a beer kind of guy."

"Oh, yea? Ollie is a Brandy man so I thought Roy would too."

"Nah, Roy's the kind of guy that drinks PBR, not because he likes it, but because it's all he can afford." Dick's voice was starting to change pitch as he spoke. He finished off his glass and holds out for Bruce to pour him another.

"That's just sad." Bruce kills his drink before refilling both glasses.

Dick looks at the slowly draining bottle. "Looks like we're almost out."

Bruce holds up the bottle. "We'll just get another one once we're done."

Dick started laughing and giggling to himself at Bruce's statement, who knew that Bruce Wayne would get caught up drinking with his son.

7 Drinks in

"So who is it?" Bruce demanded. Now quite sloshed but still slightly cognoscente of what he was doing. Though only a little.

"Who's what?" Dick was not doing much better.

Bruce smiled and leaned in. "Don't act all innocent, I know you have those young girls on the team all fawning over you. So who is it? You got your pick of the litter."

Dick grinned and waved his finger at Bruce. "You make it sound like I'm a cradle robber." Polishing off his drink. "What about you? Isn't it about time you settled down?"

"Dickie boy, what you fail to remember is I'm a stud. I can't be tied down to just one woman." Now looking at the bottom of his empty glass.

"Okay, okay." Then a rather disheveled Dick Grayson had a wonderful idea. "So dad, who would you rather do? Wonder Woman or Black Canary?"

Bruce lunged forward and coughed. "What?"

"It's a simple question dad. It's not like what we say leaves this room. Strictly confidential." Dick gave his father a reassuring thumbs up.

Bruce nodded and put his hand on his chin to think. Sober Bruce wouldn't give this question the time of day, drunk Bruce on the other hand took this very seriously. "That's a tough one, but I've been with Diana before. Think I'll go with the forbidden fruit here and pick Canary."

Dick started to laugh. "You want to hear that Canary cry of hers don't you!" Tears started to water from his eyes from it.

Bruce got red in the face. "Okay funny man here's one for you. Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy?"

Recovering from his previous spurt of laughter, "Really? You're going to make me pick between those two?"

"Come on Dick, they're both, seductive looking young ladies." It was Bruce's turn to laugh at his son as he squirmed at the question before him.

"Fine, I got it." After a momentary pause. "Ivy, every time."

"Really? You would never try a toss with Harley?"

"Remember that the Joker has been in that box of fruit loops before." Dick trying to sound intelligent about his decision.

Bruce tried to put on a serious face. "That's a good point, didn't think of that."

"So Wonder Woman, or Cat Woman?"

Bruce glances over at his drunken ward. "Why is wonder woman always one of your options?"

Dick just shrugged.

Bruce wobbly, got to his feet. "Come on its time for round to, that bottles empty."

Both of their voices now very groggy and quite sloshed. "Where we going."

Bruce pointed his finger to the old grandfather clock. "To the bat-mobile!"

Down in the Bat cave

"Come on Dick we got to go get some before they're all out." Bruce made his way over to put his uniform on.

"Why are we gearing up?" Dick was leaning on the back of the large chair in the room.

Bruce pulled on his Batman cowl. "Well Bruce Wayne can't be seen driving Batman's car, that's just dumb. They'd think I stole it."

Accepting this logic Dick nodded and made his way over to his Nightwing costume.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting on my uniform." Dick was slightly confused on why his mentor was questioning him putting on his costume.

"It's Batman and Robin, not Batman and Nightwing." Batman was using hand gestures as if it would add any more logic to his thinking.

"Ohhh, you're right." Dick made his way over to his old Robin costume. It was a tight fit into the chest piece and the tights started to rip the second he tried to put them on. "Ba-man, I don't think it's' gonna work."

Batman looked at his half-dressed and disheveled pupil trying to fit into cloths that were now way too small for him. He thought for a moment then a grin on his face said it all. "I got it."

In the car

"You're a genius Batman." Nightwing looking down at his costume admiring their ingenuity and handy work. The pair had taken a can of red spray-paint to Nightwings costume and painted a big yellow R on the front. "No one will know the difference." He then turned to his mentor. "Aren't you too drunk to drive?"

"What? Batman never gets drunk." Bruce trying to put on his most serious Batman face. "besides the cars on auto-piolet."

The two sat in drunken silence for a moment before Nightwing spoke up again. "So, B-man. You've done a lot of things with women right?"

Batman still had his hands on the wheel pretending to drive as the car was doing all the work for him looked to his ward. "Like what."

Nightwing blushed red a little. "You know, like sexual stuff."

Batman shuffled in his seat a little. "I know a little."

"Well, has a girl ever asked you to do anal with her before?" Nightwing was fidgeting and looking down in his lap.

Batman just deadpanned. "What's that?"

A drunken Nightwing's eyes got big before trying to explain this while not dying of embarrassment. "You know, like butt stuff."

Batman cocked an eyebrow. "Butt stuff?"

"You know when you stick your thing in her butt."

Batman pondered for a second, no can't say I have. Why? Have you?"

Nightwing just held his head in shame.

Batman started to grin. "Who was it?"

Nightwing crossed his arms and started to pout. "Not telling."

Batman leaned over and started to bread him with questions. "Was it Zatanna? Rocket? Don't tell me it was Artemis?"

"Geeze Batman, she's Wally's girlfriend."

Batman thought for a moment then gave a big smirk. "Barbara?"

Nightwings face turned bright red at the sound of Batgirls name, hit telltale sight that he had been busted.

Batman still trying to act like Batman couldn't help letting out a chuckle. "Really Dick, you and Barbara? Your thing in her." He couldn't finish for he was trying so hard to contained his laughter.

A drunken Nightwing started to panic. His face now bright red. "It was dark; I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Sure you didn't." The car stopped finally and Batman looked out the window. "I'll be right back."

"Batman, this is a gas station."

"I know that. Now shut up and wait in the car Robin. There is a hostage situation in there and I got to go liberate the booze from their frozen prison." And with that Batman whisked himself away into the Circle K gas station.

Nightwing pressed his face to the window, with a look of worry. "Good luck old man."

Inside the Gas Station

Keven had just started his shift at the Circle K when he sees none other than the man in black show up walking right through the front door. He watched as he went straight to the back where the alcohol was kept. After a minute or two he watched with slight fear as Batman came up to the counter.

Keven's voice was a little shaky. "Find everything you need sir?"

Batman stared down at the man. "I don't normally negotiate with terrorists but I'll play your game this time. How much for their release?"

Keven was slightly confused then saw the bottles of alcohol on the counter. "I'll just ring these up for you then."

Batman's voice was a low growl. "Yes, but don't try anything funny."

Keven shook his head in agreement. He rung up the alcohol quickly. "20.43, is your total sir."

"Here's a 50 not to follow us."

Keven still looking confused as Batman left with his bags of booze just as quickly as he had arrived. "What the hell just happened."

Inside the Car

Batman handed the bags over to Nightwing. "Mission success."

Nightwing still looking worried, "How did it go in there?"

Batman took out one of the eight 40oz bottles he just bought. "He was a hard negotiator but we managed to cut a deal." Batman then rubbed his fingers together. "Even greased some palms on the way out for a clean get away."

Nightwing had a look of amazement on his face then turned to the bottles he had just been handed. "King Cobra malt? I thought you said you don't drink cheap stuff?"

Taking a swig and starting the car. "No, I said, unlike you I don't only drink the cheap stuff. See this is where your experience and mine is vastly different when it comes to drinking. See you start off with the good stuff, then when it starts to go down like water you switch the cheap crap to keep you going."

"You know everything it seems like." Nightwing opened up his bottle and took a swig. Batman was right, it was going down like water.

"I'm Batman." Bruce deadpanned. Causing them both to lose their composure and bust out laughing.

7 Drinks and a bottle and a half of Cobra Malt

The Batmobile was pulled off to the side of the road with the passenger side door open. Nightwing was losing the contents of his stomach on the side of the highway. "Hey, Ing, thing, ding, Wing ding. You, you okay buddy?"

Batman was patting him on the back while he was heaving up all he had consumed over the last few hours. "Yea, I'm fine, just drank to fast before running."

"You got to rally buddy. Bitched love a man who can rally."

Nightwing looked over his shoulder "They do?"

Suddenly filled with confidence again. "Oh yea. Come on shut the door. I'll show you."

Nightwing complied and Batman pushed the bottle to him. "I don't know if I want it anymore."

"Trust me it will make you feel better." Batman said still brimming with confidence. Nightwing hesitantly complied.

They pulled up to a zeta beam entrance and stumbled out of the car taking their booze with them.

"Batman what are we doing here?" Nightwing was leaning up against the phone booth as Batman set the destination.

"Tim and Alfred could be home any moment. We can't let them see us. So we'll go to the Watchtower where our identities are secret."

Nightwing had a look of puzzlement on his face, something about Batman's statement didn't quite add up. But it also made a lot of sense. He shrugged and decided that the truth could be found at the bottom of the Cobra Bottle. It agreed with Batman's logic.

Watchtower

"Recognize: Batman 01, Nightwing B01"

"This, this was a great idea Batman. No one would think to find…" Nightwing looked around and saw that the main room on the Watchtower was full of heroes both from the Justice League and the Team. Then it suddenly hit them. The Justice League always had a second Thanksgiving dinner together the day after on Black Friday.

Batman in his groggy drunken monotone voice said what they were both thinking. "Son of a Bitch…"

Quickly the two turned around and tried to leave only one problem. "Recognize: Error…"

"Damn it…"

There was a sudden whoosh followed by the greeting of an all familiar voice. "Hey Bats how's it going?"

Deciding best to say as little as possible Batman just grunted in retort to the Flash.

"Yea, party is great and all. Only problem is that none of us can leave at the moment." Nightwing was doing his best to not show himself by positioning himself behind Batman, out of Flashes line of site.

Flash looked the two over, "You two okay?"

Batman just grunted again. Giving Flash the cold shoulder. Flash shrugged it off, "Okay I'll see you guys around the party then." And with that the Flash was gone, back to the festivities.

Batman turned to Nightwing. "Come on, we gotta move before someone else sees us."

Following in step the two drunkenly bake their way to the control room, oddly enough it was overlooking the party. Martin Man Hunter was there looking down on the festivities. He turned to see Batman walk into the room.

"Batman? I thought you said you weren't coming to the gathering." Batman tried his best to stand upright and level his voice.

"I'm not, but I thought." Batman paused for a moment. "I thought you might, so I'm here to relieve you."

"Really Batman it's not necessary."

"I insist; I have things I need to do anyway."

Then it dawned on J'onn that the zeta tubes were down. "Alright then I thing I will." And with that he left to join the others on the main floor.

Nightwing slipped in behind him and locked the two of them inside the control room. They pulled out a new bottle each and clinked them together. "This has been great dad."

Batman chuckled before taking a drink. "Find the thing that makes the sounds and stuff." He was pointing to the playlist of music that was playing for the party.

"The music?"

"Yea, turn that crap off and put something good on."

Down at the Party

Flash sped up to Batgirl who was currently talking to Black Canary and Aqualad about stuff with the Team. "Excuse me one moment, ladies and sir. May I have a word with you Batgirl?"

"Sure Flash, what's up?"

"Well I was wondering if you knew Batman was coming to the party or not?" Flash sounded suspicious and was talking relatively low.

Batgirl picked up on this before answering. "I don't think so; I believe that Bruce Wayne took the day to spend some time with his eldest son."

"That's funny, I just saw the two of them enter it. They seemed a little off." Batgirl could see the worry in his face. With the recent incidents with the Light and mind control chips the worry was understandable.

"Hey Batgirl!" Robin was running over to them.

"What is it Robin?"

The boy looked slightly annoyed. "Did you change the playlist I put together?"

"No why?" Batgirl was very confused.

"Just listen." The song Uptown Girl by Billy Joel was playing. "I think I would have remembered putting this song on."

The song was one of Bruce's favorites so they had both heard it a lot. This was starting to get weird and it was starting to worry Batgirl. "Let's find J'onn."

They didn't go too far, they found him mingling with some of the other heroes including Roy and Wally as well as some of the other YJ Team members. "J'onn!"

J'onn saw Batgirl, Robin, and Flash all run up to him. "What is it?"

"Aren't you supposed to be on watch?" It was Flash who asked and he sounded slightly panicked. "I was but Batman said he would take over."

"J'onn, Batman was taking the day off and told no one he was going to even show up today. I can't reach him." Batgirls face looked worried and the gravity of the situation hit J'onn.

"You don't thing that he is being controlled do you?"

"I hope not. We need to get up to the control room then." It was Roy, he had been listening to the conversation and he was going to be damn sure that the Watchtower wouldn't fall into the wrong hands again. There was a nod in unison to his thoughts from the other heroes.

They sent Robin up to see if he could get in but the room was locked. "Not good, it would take us to long and we don't know what's going on in there." Batgirl was taking charge of the situation.

"We still don't know where Nightwing is also, but there is a good chance they are both in there." Said Flash.

Suddenly the PA system jolted to life and they heard a very slurred voice of Nightwing singing along to the song House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. It sounded terrible but it also sounded like Nightwing was crying. "We need to get in there, he doesn't sound good." Worry was now washing over her. What the hell was going on in there?

Inside the Control Room

Nightwing had decided to sing along with one of his favorite songs. Batman being a fan of the classic rock era and being basically tone deaf at the moment thought the singing was beautiful and teared up a little at his sons 'talented' voice. Nightwing however could tell that his stomach wasn't agreeing with the amount of alcohol and decided that singing was the best way to keep it down. Nether was aware that they turned the PA on when they did so.

"What next?" Nightwing asked looking through the extensive choice of songs.

Batman answered with a straight face, "Tom Jones, What's new Pussy Cat."

"You sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my life."

Nightwing shrugged but got a bad feeling in his stomach but started anyway. "What's new pussy cat?" The second the second phase of the song hit instead of going Woah, woah, woah. Nightwing lost the contents of his stomach once again but all over himself. "Shit…"

Batman looked dumbfounded at the amount of vomit that Nightwing just threw up all over the place. Nightwing just looked down at himself, now covered in paint, vomit, and alcohol the young hero decided it was time to ditch the top part of his costume.

Batman slowly closed his eyes as he watched his pupil strip down so he only had his lower half of his uniform on, he still had his domino mask even though he wanted to take it off as well.

"I don't want to stand up any more." Nightwing crumpled to his knees holding his gut. The valve that had kept his stomach closed was now open and Nightwing felt worse than he had in a long time. He then proceeds to continue throwing up all around himself. Eventually stopping and curling up on the floor he looks over to his mentor who was now limp in one of the room chairs.

Still teary eyed from vomiting and the substantial amount of alcohol taking his emotions on a ride he starts to tear up again. "Batman? Ba-man?" With still no response from his mentor Nightwing started to panic. "Bruce?" Still no answer. Deciding it was time to get help Nightwing crawled over to his bat distress beacon and pressed it. Culled up on the floor in pain, Nightwing waited for someone to pick up as he continued to dry heave in pain.

The Party

The last thing that anyone heard from the PA system was Nightwing throwing up and it made everyone in the room stop and wonder what was going on. Batgirls eyes filled with terror, because nothing about the way Nightwing just threw up sounded good. She suddenly noticed that she was getting a distress beacon alert from, Nightwing. Picking it up quickly, "Nightwing are…" She was cut off by a sobbing Nightwing.

"We're dyii-iing!" Nightwings voice was chocked up with sobs and dry heaves. Batgirls heart skipped a beat. Nightwing sounded like he was in genuine pain, she had never heard him like this before. Part of her wanted to tear up but she knew that at the moment she had to try and help them any way that she could.

"Nightwing, I know it hurts but you have to tell me, where is Batman?" there was a pause. This made her worry.

"He's dead too. We're both dying." He was once again interrupted by dry heaving. "Barbra, I want you to know, I love you." Nightwing continued to sob while on the distress beacon.

By this time there was a mass of Leaguers who were all gathering around and asking what they could do to help. Believing they were now in a race against time Batgirl had to go from her nicely laid out plan to stealthily breach the door and jump right to the last resort, "Diana, we need to rip the door off to the control room now."

Without a moment's hesitation Wonder Woman raced up the stairs followed by Batgirl, Robin, KF, Roy, and their mentors to be ready to deal with whatever situation they might find inside. Batgirl braced herself for the worst.

The door ripped off its hinges and they all rushed the room, the first thing they noticed was the sudden rush of alcohol smell. The scene was, not what batgirl was expecting. But what she found was batman passed out in a chair dead to the world and a half naked Nightwing curled up on the floor in a sea of vomit. They weren't dying, they were drunk! At that moment she wanted nothing else but to hurt the both of them.

But that could wait for when they sobered up a bit, she walked over to Nightwing who was still convulsing, trying to throw up but couldn't from no longer having anything in his system. He looked up at her and a wash of joy flooded his face. "You came."

She was kneeling down next to him and Roy poped over her shoulder to look down on his fallen friend. "Your drunk." He was smiling from ear to ear, Nightwing had never gotten this drunk with him and Wally before, he wanted to hear this story.

Nightwing looked up at both of them. "I'm dying."

"You're not dying." Before uttering under her breath. "At least I hope you're not." She put a hand on his head, he was burning up. Maybe he really was more than drunk. "Come on, were taking you to the med bay."

Roy and Wally helped carry Nightwing to the med-bay. Green Arrow and Flash followed with an equally out of it Batman. Robin and Wonder Woman following behind along with Batgirl. J'onn had offered to clean up the control room and calm everyone back down. The current explanation being circulated to those at the Party was that Batman and Nightwing had been the victims of Jokers latest strain of Joker Venom witch most people believed, wished them well and got back on with the party.

Nightwing now had an I.V. pumping fluid back in him as he was severely dehydrated. Batgirl and Canary along with a few others gathered up to ask the still sloshed teen a few questions about what happened because Batman was still out and would likely be until tomorrow. Batgirl was on one side of the bed now holding Nightwings hand. Canary was on the other. Roy, Wally, and Tim were all also in the room at the end of the bed.

Canary opened up. "Nightwing you know the dangers that excessive drinking can cause so I'll spare you the lecture for tonight. How much have you had to eat today?"

Nightwing just shook his head.

"So you haven't eaten at all today?" Canary followed up.

Nightwing nodded in agreement and Canary shook her head in disappointment. But before she could ask her next question Wally interrupted her. "So how many did you have buddy?"

Nightwing appeared to be thinking for a moment before answering. "Three or four, I think."

"Three or four what? Mix-drinks, shots, beers?" Canary continued.

"Forties. And a few glasses of scotch." There were a few gasps around the room.

"Nightwing how many is a few?" Canary unable to hide the slight bit of worry in her voice.

Nightwing shrugged. "Seven I think."

There were more gasps at this new revelation. "Jesus Christ Wing." Roy said, witch while he was concerned he was also impressed.

Canary once again looked both worried and disappointed in the young hero. "Well that's all I need for now. Nightwing try to get some sleep we will follow up tomorrow just to make sure your fine."

With that everyone made their way out of the room except for Batgirl who as she was trying to leave had a hand squeeze to stay. She looked down at Nightwing, it was just the two of them at the moment.

"Babs, I'm sorry." Barbra squeezed his hand and ruffled his hair. She pulled back her cowl.

"I can't stay mad at you when you look this pitiful." She bent over and kissed his forehead. "But tomorrow I'm going to give both you and Bruce an ear full. Okay?"

"Okay." He smiled back up at her before drifting off into an alcohol induced sleep.

She stepped back outside and ran into Canary. "Think he'll be okay?"

Canary sighed. "It's bad but not the worst I've seen either. You should see Ollie when he gets trashed. All we can do is hope he learns the error of his ways by tomorrow morning."

Batgirl was a little confused. "Why? What happens tomorrow?"

Canary started to giggle. "The Hangover. And they're stuck here with the whole League."

Both women started to laugh and made their way back to the common area to rejoin the party that had started to fall back into full swing. After all it was only 10:30pm plenty of time to keep going.

|Hey guys hope you had fun reading this Young Justice one shot

I had fun writing this and hope you all had a good laugh or two as well

This is in no way related to any of my other Young Justice stories but I still wanted to put it out there.

Sorry if anyone seemed a little too OOC but as you know most people are when they are under the influence

Please comment and Review if you have the time, even if its just to say it made you laugh.

Happy Reading.|