She was never mine to give or take. Her heart didn't belong to me, and her life was no different. She was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet… Sunshine blonde hair that sparkled in the light, and sapphire eyes which glistened. She was as beautiful as a goddess, maybe even more. She had the spirit of a child, and the heart of one too. The greatest thing in God's creation ever made… and I let her slip through my fingers… She trusted me to protect her, keep her safe. So did the one she loved, the one her heart belonged to. I loved her, not as he did, but still. She'd come and sit next to me on the bench by the sea and tell me crazy stories of her city life and her dreams for her farm. She was joyful, I never saw anything less of a smile on her face. Even when she over worked herself, and was ready to topple over, she still smiled and told me she was alright. Even in her sleep, she looked like an angel. Why was it, that I chose her fate as I did? I can never forgive myself, never move past her. How can I fall in love with another when I let my heart drown at sea? I lost my love, my best friend, everything that was important to me… Well, almost everything…
Mineral Town… One of the most refreshing and beautiful town's you'll ever see, as were it's people. But now, a gray cloud seemed to hang over this town, a foggy memory of a girl, so wonderful it had to be a dream. Everyone here loved her, she was joyful and happy, and could make anyone smile. She had brought this town so much happiness over the years… And now that happiness was gone. It's hard to believe that anyone used to live with out her.
Everyone tried to move on, but no one could help that cloud hung over their head, her ghost watching us now, following through on her daily routine. It was especially hard for my good friend Gray, he was head over heels for her. I remember the day he came to me with a blue feather in his hands, and a broad smile on his face. "I'm going to do it." he said. "I'm going to finally do it!" "Congratulations! When are you going to tell her?" I had asked. "Tomorrow night." he told me. "I'm going to take her to Mother's Hill and tell her under the moonlight." "Great!" I said, trying to sound happy for the guy. It must of taken him forever to buy that feather… It wasn't expensive, but his job at his Grandfather's Blacksmith paid such a slave wage, it must of taken at least a year, maybe more…
"Kai!" I heard from behind me. I turned to see my buddy Gray. How he wasn't still angry with me, I could never know. "Hey…" I said. "Hey." he said, we were already starting great conversation. We both faced the ocean, and I saw pain tear at his eyes. He looked away, and picked up one of my bags and started walking towards the Inn. "Come on…" he said. "Ann made you a special dinner." I only visited in summer, and this used to be one of my favorite stops. But now… I can't stand to think of it. "It's weird…" I said. "What is?" Gray asked as we walked. "Every time I think about this place when I'm away, all I can think about is her… And I want to avoid it to keep away from the pain. But when I'm here… it's when I feel closest to her…" Gray nodded, as if to say he felt the same.
"Sorry you missed the funeral…" he said. "But no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't get it any sooner than the second of fall…" "It's alright…" I said. "I'm sure it was beautiful." Gray looked up to the full moon, as if he could almost reach out and touch her face… but sighed as he realized his dream couldn't be reality. "She would have wanted you there… I should have just put it off until the next summer…" he said bitterly towards himself. "No." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "It's really alright. I can go see her for myself tomorrow." He nodded and kept walking. We walked quietly to the Inn, where the lights were dimmed because of the late hour.
Inside, there were a few late drinkers, Ann, and her father Doug. "Hey Kai." she said semi-cheerfully. "Welcome back. It's been a while." "It has…" I said, seeing as how the life and happiness was sucked out of this place with her death. "I made your favorite, thought that after a long day of traveling you could use a hot meal." she told me. I gave her my best half smile and said, "Thanks Ann, I'm just gonna run my bags upstairs and then I'll be right down." "Okay." she said. "Don't be too long."
We walked up stairs and I put my bags by my old bed, sheets and comforter clean and ready for usage, same as always. I put down my stuff and walked back down stairs, after thanking Gray, hands in my pockets. I ate up my food and nodded my head as Ann talked away about what had happened since I was gone. I half way listened as I ate my food slowly. "I'm sorry Ann, but I'm really tired, and it's getting late…" I said after a while. "Oh my look at the time! You're right, see you later Kai!" she said as she went into the back room. "Night." I yawned as I walked upstairs.
I walked to my room, and saw Gray turned over in his bed, trying to sleep. I knew he was being haunted by her, as I was. Her smile, her laugh, I hear her everywhere I go. She follows me, but never leaves the docks. I could still smell the faint scent of her perfume, mixed with the scent of animals and feed. Some might think it was nasty, but I loved the scent because it reminded me of her. I lied down and stared at the ceiling tiles. "Can't sleep?" Gray asked, turning over. "I never can…" I said as I turned to face the window as I closed my eyes. I jumped, as the images of my nightmare stared me back in the face. It was all I could see when I closed my eyes.
Her face, the day she died. Fear, pain, agony captured her smile and turned it down. Her eyes glistened with fear rather that with light and beauty. "Kai!" she gargled as black waves rolled over my eyes, drowning me with her. "K-kai! Help me!" "I'm coming! Hold on!" I yelled, reaching for her. Another face from long ago appeared, same as it did then. My grip slipped and she fell, crashing with the wave with one final plea for help. But it was too late, there was nothing I could do to save her now…
I woke up, sitting straight up, in a cold sweat, panting as my heart raced. "Kai?" Gray yawned, being woken from his dreams. "You okay?" "Yeah…" I said feeling my forehead. "I-I'm fine… I just need some fresh air." I put on my shirt and walked outside and leaned against the building as the cold Spring morning breeze blew over me. I shivered, this is why I only visit in Summer. My lack of sleep caused me to hallucinate, I saw a shimmering image of her, transparent as a ghost. She walked the streets, as she would sometimes at this hour. She saw me and smiled, and her image walked towards me but then disappeared.
Not feeling much better, and feeling rather chilly, I walked inside the inn and went upstairs and lied back in bed. I fell into half sleep, just dreaming of darkness, sweet darkness. And then I woke up as the sun hit my eyes. I rubbed my eyes to see Gray had already gotten dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. He always had been an early riser. I got dressed and went downstairs to get some food. It still feels strange now that Cliff was married and we didn't share a room anymore…
"Coffee and omelet please." I said to Doug as I handed him the money. He glared at me for a moment and then went to the back to cook. Ann was out by the Goddess pond, and Cliff was quietly eating at the back table by himself. I took myself over to him and sat down. "Still shy after all these years huh?" I asked. "Not really… Ann and Carter were a great help… I just like this table, and t-there's no one else here." he explained as he ate his curry eggs. I could never understand why that boy loved curry so much.
"S-she helped me a lot too…" Cliff stuttered, trying to avoid the topic. "Yeah…" I said, brushing my finger over the wooden table. "She helped a lot of people…" We sat quietly, and Doug brought me my food. I ate up and then headed out to walk the town. I stopped everywhere to say hi, starting at the Poultry Farm before Rick got there, I didn't want to fight with him, but he always wanted to… Once I was done, I walked into the farm, feeling like a guilty child all the way.
It had changed a lot since I had been here last… The house looked the same, but the field was over run with weeds, branches, and stones. I picked a few weeds and walked into the barn, which was full of cobwebs, and the roof was filled with holes. It was the same for the stable and the chicken coop. All empty and lifeless, like a ghost town. Even the old honey tree was looking bad. I walked into her house, to see the it as lifeless as the rest of the farm, with white spots where the furniture had once been, now sold. All that was left was the picture from the beach party they had all those years ago.
She threw the party every year as a "Good Bye" party for me when I left at the end of summer. She looked so gorgeous in her dark blue bikini with white polka dots. She out shined all of the other girls. It was me, her, Gray, Cliff, Ann, Mary, Popuri, Karen, Elli, even Doctor showed up. It was the group picture we had taken the year before she died, I still kept that picture with me everywhere I go. I even have another copy hanging up in the Snack Shack. I sighed as I wiped the dust off the photo. "We had to sell everything in order to pay for the funeral." someone said behind me. I jumped and turned to see Gray, with his hands in his pockets. "You scared me, Gray! I hadn't realized I had been here that long." I said. "It's fine, I come here every day after work." he said, closing his eyes to remember how it had been before.
"Gray…?" I asked, staring at the photograph. "doesn't it hurt?" "What hurt?" he asked. "To come here, to live in this town where she walked and lived and breathed. Does it hurt to remember?" Gray looked at the photo and sighed. "Yes, it does sometimes. Other times it's worse than others…" he smiled and continued. "But, I just remember how much she loved this place, and how much she loved us. And I know she would never want us to stay sad." he laughed and then said, "I still remember when she first came here, she scolded me for being such a baby and pouting because I didn't think I was good enough. She told me the key to a good life, is being happy. She told me I should smile more. So I did, every day after that, I'd put on my best smile for her, even when things were hard."
I nodded, trying to understand. "I still miss her though…" he said sadly, staring at the wall. He closed his eyes and smiled again. "But I know she's happy, sitting up in Heaven in a gorgeous white dress, her hair up and a smile on her face. She outshines all of the angels, and she sits on a golden chair of clouds, drinking her favorite strawberry milkshake, and laughing." He opened his eyes, still smiling. "I know she's watching us now, so I still smile. I live on because I know one day I'll be with her up in heaven, and we can be happy together." She had changed him the most… he used to be sour because of his Grandfather's rude behavior, but she had made him sweet and happy, all because she showed him a kindness.
"Come on, let's go to the beach and clean up before the festival tomorrow." Gray said. I nodded and we began walking towards the beach. "So how are things between you and Mary?" I asked. "What?" he asked confused. "Okay I guess? She moved to Forget-Me-Not Valley with Popuri, they still come to visit from time to time. Mary got married to some… silver haired guy, I forget his name. And Popuri got married with a farmer there, uh… Jack, I think…?" "Oh yeah…I got the letter I just forgot." I said. We kept walking until we got to my shack on the beach.
"Man, gathered a lot of cobwebs and dust." he said. "You take a broom and start out here, and I'll start on the kitchen." I said, handing him the broom. He nodded and we began scrubbing, sweeping and cleaning into the late hours of the night. Once we finally finished, it looked a million times better. "Come on, we need to go by the church before dark." Gray said, looking outside. I locked up shop and began quickly walking towards the church.
"Here." Gray said, as we walked up to the tombstone. He pulled a flower out of his pocket, which I guess he got from Won while I locked up, and laid it on the grave. I bit my lip as I read the inscription,
Clairissa Taylor Smith
"Claire"
Died at age 26
Loved by all, and caretaker of the Mineral Town Farm.
Drowned in a sea storm
Drowned… such a terrible word, it choked me just thinking about it. "I'm so sorry…" I said, trying not to cry. "You never got to tell her how you felt." "It's fine…" Gray said. "Glad I never had the chance to ruin her life for her." he said, closing his eyes. "Come on, let's head to the inn, I'm starved…" I nodded and started walking towards the inn. On the way back, it began to rain.
"It's storming like it did the day she left us." I heard someone say as we walked in. "Isn't that right Kai?" I turned and saw Zach, drinking with the other guys, telling stories. "Yeah… I suppose so…" I said painfully. I ordered my dinner, and ran upstairs to get into some dry clothes. My mind went back to that night…
"Gray's proposing tonight…" I thought allowed bitterly. "Why can't I be happy for him? He is my best friend after all, and they love each other, why do I feel so bitter?" "Hey Kai!" Claire said cheerfully. "Hi Claire." I said, putting on my best smile. "I brought you some more pineapples, I know how much you love them." she said, pulling three pineapples out of her rucksack. "Thanks!" I said happily. "I need to have one more day with her before it's too late…" I thought. "Gray's taking her out at six, so…" "Kai?" she asked. "Did you hear me?" "Uh, sorry no…" I said. She laughed and said, "Daydreaming? This isn't like the Kai I know." I laughed and asked, "What do you need?" "A glass of water, please. I'm parched!" she said, sitting down. "One glass of H2O! Coming right up!" I got her some ice water, and watched her drink it down. "Thanks!" she said happily. "Guess I'll see you around!" "W-Wait!" I said. She stopped and stared at me with a question on her face. "I… uh… mean…" I stuttered. "I was wondering if you wanted to take a boat ride with me, around three-ish? We'd be back around five, I'm sure you could catch same great fish out there." She shifted her weight on her heels, and acted as if deep in thought, then smiled as she said, "You had me at boat ride. I'll come back in an hour, see ya!" She ran out the door and I sighed happily. "See ya then…"
The minutes could not have rolled by any slower, finally three came. I borrowed the boat from Zach and loaded all the stuff we'd need onto the boat, as she arrived. "Sorry I'm a late…" she said. "There was an argument at the Clinic, I needed to clear it up, but it's all good now." "Great!" I said happily. "Hop on and we'll get started." We started the boat and I drove it out. I smiled as I saw her, arms open, embracing the splash of the ocean waves as it sprinkled a light salt water over her. Her laugh was beautiful, joyful, like honey to the soul. She turned to me, hair blowing in the wind, looking like sun rays as her eyes sparkled like two precious gems. Once we were in the middle of the ocean, she began fishing, and I watched her happily, sitting at the wheel, with the anchor down.
After an hour, storm clouds began to roll in. "Uh, Claire I think we need to be heading back, I don't like how these clouds look…" I said. "I think you're right." she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Let's go." I nodded and raised the anchor as I began driving the motor boat back. But the closer we got to the shore, the worse the storm got, and the harder it was to see. "Kai!" she called. I turned, to see her, but all I could see was black…
"Kai!" Gray said in the present. I shook my day dream and held my head in my hand. "You okay?" he asked. "Y-yeah…" I said, looking around seeing we were the only ones left in the bar besides Ann and Doug. "Sorry… these day dreams have been getting worse and worse… though now their more nightmares…" I shivered. "What was your dream about?" Ann asked. I looked at her but didn't answer, though from my face, she knew the answer… Claire…
"You drank four bottles…" Gray said. "You sure you're okay?" "Yeah… it takes more than a few bottles of wine to knock this guy out…" I said. I stood up and began walking upstairs. "I'm going to bed, I have a killer headache…. Night…" "Night…" Gray said. "I'm worried about him…" Ann whispered. "He's been acting strange ever since he got back…" "It's Claire… He was there when she died, it's been hard for him…" Gray said quietly. "Do you think it's time we told him?" Ann asked quietly, as she ran her hands over her red braid. "No… I don't think it would help much now, it would only make it worse. Wait until he leaves at the end of summer, then we'll see." I went to bed and to my disadvantage, I fell right asleep, continuing my nightmare to it's end.
I turned to see her, just as a black wave swallowed her whole. "Claire!" I yelled, letting got of the wheel. I ran to the side of the boat. "Kai!" she gargled. "K-kai! Help me!" "I'm coming! Hold on!" I yelled. I grabbed a raft and threw it to her, pulling on the rope. I pulled her close and grabbed her hand to help her up. Suddenly I saw… my sister… from another time….
I had been sixteen, she was only fourteen at the time. I took her to see the ocean on my boat every Sunday. It had been a cold winter night, and a storm had crawled up on a clear sunny day, unexpected. I told her we couldn't go today, but stubborn as she was, she left and drowned in the storm… I hadn't been there to save her…
"Kai!" Claire cried, as she slipped from my hands, my vision of my sister staying but a brief second. Claire fell, and the rope attached to the life raft snapped. I grabbed it before it was able to be pulled out to the sea, and quickly pulled it in, hoping to make a difference now that I was here for her, another girl I loved more than life itself. I pulled it in, to find that the rope had snapped on both ends. I rode around, searching and crying out for her. The waves were too strong for me to search much longer alone. I went back to town and docked at the port and ran and told Zach what had happened.
"We have to go find her!" I said, as the storm rumbled. "Kai, there's nothing we can do." Zach said. "This storm's to strong for my little boat, she has the raft, we can only pray that she can hold on and wait to the end, or at least until she finds land. "I'm not going to wait around for her to die!" I said angrily. "I'm going out to find her." "Kai wait!" Zach called. I ran out to go to the boat, Zach behind me. But as I walked across the deck, I saw the greatest and worst sight ever to see…
On the shore, was Claire's body, with the life raft beside her. I ran to her as she choked on water, "I… I tried…" she whispered. "You'll be okay!" I cried. "Zach I found her!" "N-no…" she coughed, as she touched my face. "You and I know this fight was not one to be won… I…" But before she could finish, she passed out. I picked her up and ran her with all my might to the Clinic, knowing if I could just make it there, it would all be alright. Zach came with me, and pounded on the door until Doctor ran down and opened up. I laid her down on the hospital bed. Doctor had us leave the room as he checked to see if she'd be okay. The hours passed by, until I could wait no longer. Finally, Doctor walked out to tell us… she had passed away… There was too much salt water in her lungs, and even though he tried to dry them out, it was too late.
The month was a blur, memories played through my head more than words. One Sunday towards the end of summer, I took a walk through the town, stopping at the farm for another look, wishing I could say good bye and rid myself of this never ending nightmare. "Kai?" someone said from behind. I jumped, as I turned to see Gray. "Oh… it's you." "There's something we need to tell you… Come on, Doctor wanted to tell you himself." he said, motioning me to follow. I did and got to the Clinic, now closed since it was four. Elli sat at the desk, reading a book about medical plants. Gray walked upstairs. I had never been up here before… but I followed quietly. Upstairs in Doctor's study where Doctor sat alone, holding a letter in his hands. "It's for you." he said. "It'll explain it better than I can." I took the letter and began reading it quietly to myself.
Dear Kai,
I have asked Doctor to write this along with my will I left. It is meant for your and his eyes only. Don't blame yourself for what has happened tonight, even if you had pulled me up in time, I would have inhaled too much water to survive, and instead of dying here in the hospital bed, I would have died in the harsh cold storm winds and you would have never known my heart's wish.
All of these years I've lived here, I found myself excited for summer, from the first day of autumn, to the last day of spring. I longed only to see your face. In his anticipation, Gray asked me to marry him the night before the storm. I will forever regret the words I said to him, and I wish I could have said a simple no. I didn't love him like he loves me, I know it pained him but it was the truth. My heart belonged to another.
I love you, Kai. More than anything. I know you think my heart was with Gray, but the truth of the fact is that I could never live to see another day without you. I didn't think you felt the same for me. So I didn't say anything. Maybe you don't still today, but even if not, I just needed to say, I love you Kai. You complete my heart. Sadly, I told Gray I loved you, and I don't think he took it well… He stormed off to Mother's Hill, and left his Blue Feather here… I'm worried my words took harshly to him… When the time is right, I have asked Doctor to deliver this to you. I love you, and I hope you love me.
Love,
Claire
I bit my lip as I choked back the tears. She had loved me… and I was too stupid to see it. "She wanted me to wait… It only took me a few minutes to see she wouldn't survive. But it's a doctor's job to stay working with his patient until the end. I was going to tell you, but she stopped me, and asked me to write this, along with her will… I'm so sorry…" Doctor said. Stupid! Of course she loved me! How could I not see it before! And Gray! Poor Gray! The poor boy's heart had been crushed, I'm sure he had wished he was dead, he must of felt terrible when she died. I turned to look at him, but he turned away, eyes filled with pain. "Does everyone know?" I choked. "Just the three of us." Doctor said. Gray nodded and collected himself once more. I shook my head and slipped down into a chair, with my head in my hands. Gray patted me on the back and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to go…" I looked up at him as he hugged me to say good bye. "Where are you going?"
"Claire was right, we weren't meant to be together." Gray said. "That day I was so mad, I went up to Mother's Hill to cry. I was never angry with her. I was only angry with myself for being so blind… Eventually, I got over my love for her. Last winter, a girl with brown hair and purple eyes came claiming she was Claire's cousin, Jill. She took a few of Claire's belongings, and said she'd be back this fall to take over the farm. While she was here… we… we kinda went on a date…" he continued, as he blushed. "I'm going to help her pack her thing to move." I nodded and said, "I'm glad you found somebody." I said, jerking back the tears. He nodded and left. Soon, I too took my leave as I walked to the beach, and sat on the warm sandy shore.
She had loved me, I couldn't be happier. I closed my eyes, and imagined her in her angel form coming in front of me, smiling and wearing my good luck charm I gave her around her neck. "So you know?" she asked. "Yeah…" I said smiling. I reached up and touched her face as I kissed her, "And I love you too." She blushed and smiled as she touched my face, kissing me one last time before disappearing. I sighed, wishing it hadn't been a dream. I leaned back and noticed something shining in my lap, I looked down and saw my blue sea shell charm I had given her, on a rope necklace. The one I had seen Claire's angel form wearing…
Five Years Later…
"Clairissa Taylor Smith?" the small child read. "That's right." Gray said, holding his little girl's hand. Jill laughed as she put her head on her husband's shoulder. "That's who you're named after." The strawberry blonde haired child looked confused. "Why was I named after her?" she asked. "She was my best friend's love, and you're mother's cousin, Claire." Gray answered. "Oh." she said. "Gray?" a voice asked from behind. Gray turned around to see his old buddy Kai. They hugged and Gray introduced Kai to his daughter.
"Kai this is my daughter, Claire. Claire this is my friend Kai." he said gently. "Go on sweetie, don't be shy." Claire bit her finger. "Hey Claire." Kai said. "You know I'm really good friends with your daddy." She nodded, and hugged her stuffed rabbit. "Tell you what, I'm gonna give you a present. But you have to promise to keep it safe for me. Do you promise?" he asked, getting down on his knees. She nodded and he pulled the sea shell necklace out of his pocket. Her purple eyes glistened and she reached out one hand, holding the rabbit with the other.
"This was given to me by someone very special," Kai whispered. "an angel!" "Really?" she asked excitedly. "Yes." Kai nodded. "It's very special to me, so I need you to take good care of it for me. Can you do that?" Claire nodded happily as Kai put the necklace around her neck. She held the blue shell in her hand and her eyes glistened with joy as she smiled. "Thank you so much Kai!" she said, giving Kai a big hug. Kai hugged her back and smiled. "You're welcome Claire." he said. He picked her up and put her on his shoulders as they walked to his shack. She rode on his head and giggled. "She has Claire's smile… and her laugh…" Kai thought to himself as they walked.
"Uncle Kai?" Claire asked at the end of the day. "Yes?" he asked. "Will you stay with me forever?" Kai thought for a moment and then looked at Gray and Jill. "We have an extra room if you really want to." Jill said. "But we know how you prefer warmer weathered areas, so we can understand." Gray said. Kai thought, and Claire pleaded, "Please?" with her lower lip out. Kai laughed and ruffled her hair as he said, "Of course I'll stay with you!" "Yeah!" Claire said happily, hugging her new best friend.