As a sniper, the Hawk's Eye was fond of shadows, but recent events altered her point of view. She existed on edge from dusk until dawn, anticipating that the hair on the back of her neck would stand on end, waiting for a chill to ignite her skin in waves of gooseflesh, and never doubting that she was being watched by a mouth with jagged teeth that laughed at her from unseen spaces. After the encounter with Pride, it was difficult to see shadows as anything other than sinister. However, the night afforded her necessary anonymity, in case anyone was watching.
The closer that Amestris got to the Promised Day, the more eyes would be on people like herself and her superior officer. The lieutenant was desperate for human contact, working for Fuhrer Bradley, missing the team… missing him. This night was worth the risk.
She could see the familiar streetlight towards the end of the tree-lined lane and was relieved, as she pulled her jacket closer around herself against the damp night. Hawkeye approached the brick townhouse, her steps never faltering, and she briskly knocked on the door. She heard shuffling from within, and the thick oak door opened abruptly.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye? I wasn't expecting -" he started before she cut him off with a kiss. Roy Mustang froze for a short moment before kissing her back with fervor. Riza opened her mouth and allowed her tongue to dance across his bottom lip, asking for entrance. As their tongues met, he placed one hand behind her head, fingers entwined in her loose hair, and his arm wound possessively around her waist, pulling her closer.
They broke apart, short of breath and with an excess of hormones. Riza looked into Roy's impossibly dark eyes as he became aware of his hand in her hair and the other dangerously close to her rear. The colonel pulled her into the house and closed the door behind them. He removed her coat from her shoulders and placed it on a hook near the entrance. Roy exhaled shakily, running the pads of his thumb and forefinger across his burning lips.
"I'm not exactly sure what that was about, but I'm not complaining," Roy smiled - she noticed he actually smiled, not smirked, for once. Riza hesitated as his hand reached out and gently stroked her blonde locks.
"I'm sorry, sir," she started. Roy cut her off.
"No. Not 'sir.' Or 'colonel', or any other title. My name is Roy; please call me that while we're here."
"Yes, sir," Riza said with a wry smile. "I just needed…" Her sentence faded when she realized she wasn't sure she knew how to finish it. Roy pulled her to his chest and tucked her head under his chin.
"It's okay, Riza. You're safe here." He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. Roy knew that it took a lot for Riza to come here. She put her career at stake, not to mention her safety, by seeking him out. If the wrong people were watching her, it would be trouble for both of them. He put all ill thoughts aside, though, feeling the warmth of the woman in his arms.
He was prepared for a few more kisses, maybe curling up on the couch together in front of the fireplace and reading or talking. Roy was not prepared for when Riza lifted her head and hungrily traced her tongue up his neck to his jawline.
He thought the days of sex between them were over. They had sought each other out in the past for comfort, for touch, but it had been many years since Ishval. They hadn't risked anything since she became his adjutant, despite the attraction that lingered. This encounter couldn't be written off as a coupling of war. Did she dare imply something more this time? He drew in a shuddering breath.
"Riza…" he started, a slight warning in his voice.
She shook her head. "Please," she pleaded softly.
He didn't need to hear her beg twice. Roy exhaled as he dove and met her mouth again. Gently, but insistently, he led her backwards until Riza's back met the wall. His hands wove around her body, caressing every inch of her he could reach. She returned his touches in earnest, running her hands across the toned planes of muscle pressed flush against his thin dress shirt. A groan met her ears.
She slowed her ministrations, deliberately moving down his arms and grabbing his hand. As he moved back slightly to question her, Riza slipped from her place between Roy and the wall. She led him up the stairs, throwing a coy glance over her shoulder, and Riza couldn't help but admire the dazed, yet determined, look on his face.
About halfway up the staircase, Roy tugged on her hand lightly. She stopped her ascent and turned to face him with a questioning look. Confidently, he climbed onto the step right before hers so that they were eye level with each other and leaned in for a soft, chaste kiss.
Suddenly, Riza found herself being led up the stairs, the dark-haired man in front of her. She grinned.
He led her straight into his bedroom, drawing her body close to him once again. Roy slipped his hands deftly under her sweater, fingers dancing lightly over her skin, relishing the touch. The blonde sighed at the feeling.
He lifted Riza's sweater, coaxing it over her head and tossing it to the side. Kissing her once again, a thrum of excitement flowed through his veins as she pressed herself to him. He felt the heat of her upper body, only separated by the thin material of his shirt and her bra.
Riza's nimble fingers quickly unbuttoned his shirt. She pushed the material off his shoulders, the shirt cascading to the floor. Roy's hands slipped to her waist, and he dipped his thumbs into the waistband of her slacks and started lowering them. As he pushed her bottoms down, Roy sank to his knees, all while placing open-mouthed kisses along her body. Her fingers ran through his hair, and Riza's head fell back in pleasure.
Roy stood up, twirled her around, and lowered her to the bed. He hovered over her, breathing heavily. Once again, he worked his way down her body, this time taking her panties with him. He drew the garment down over her feet and tossed it towards the growing pile of clothes on the floor.
His hands returned to her. The alchemist slowly opened her legs, revealing her glistening core. He lowered himself to drag his tongue along the wetness, eliciting a gasp from the blonde above him.
Roy's tongue lightly worked up and down her slit, teasing her. She made a noise of frustration. He snickered and flicked her clit with his tongue. The sound she made was no longer of frustration, but one of pleasure.
He continued his ministrations, working Riza to a fever pitch. Roy slipped two fingers into his subordinate's wet sheath in an attempt to coax her over the edge. Yet, before she tumbled headfirst over the cliff, she pulled away from him.
"I want to come with you inside me."
Not one to deny such a request, Roy delivered one final lick to her center, enjoying the taste of her. He crawled up the bed to lay beside the beautiful blonde. She turned on her side to face him as he reached around and unclasped her bra. He dragged the straps down her arms and tossed the piece of clothing haphazardly to the side.
"You're far too dressed," she purred, her fingers attacking the closure of his pants. She got them open, almost before he even realized what was happening. In a flash, Roy was on his back, his pants and underwear removed in one fell swoop. His erection sprang loose from his trousers, and he closed his eyes as her hand wrapped around him.
"Fuck, Riza," he growled. He heard her breathy laugh before he felt her shift. A wet heat enveloped him, and Roy resisted the temptation to buck up into her mouth. He managed to compromise by entwining his hand in her hair again. The feeling of Riza's flaxen locks under his palm added another layer of sensation to the experience, but he resisted the temptation to pressure her controlled bobs.
Just as he was about to lose himself completely, he heard a pop as Riza released the head of his shaft from her mouth. He groaned in earnest, simultaneously wishing for her mouth back and realizing that he had a better heat waiting for him.
She crawled up his body, melding their mouths together as she placed a knee on each side of his hips. She grabbed the base of his cock and lowered herself down onto him, moving her hands to his chest. He stilled, letting her set the pace atop him, appreciating the view.
He lightly wrapped his hands around her wrists and moved her hands to above his shoulders, effectively bringing her body closer to his. Roy arched upwards, drawing a nipple into his mouth, which caused Riza's movements to stutter. He picked up where she left off, thrusting upwards into her, feeling her clench in pleasure around him.
The symphony of gasps and moans crescendoed into the empty house around them. Just as it was about to hit a fortissimo, Roy stalled. A questioning glance, a smoldering smile, and a flurry of movement later, Riza was beneath him, an escaped moan restarting the soundtrack they were providing.
She looked up at the dark-haired man above her, enjoying the view as he continued to thrust into her. Their eyes met, and it took everything in her to ignore the spark that she felt zing through her body. Roy leaned down and kissed her softly, all while continuing to drive into her. The contrast of the actions drove Riza insane.
He sat up, putting his weight on his knees. Rolling his hips as he thrust, his body rubbed against her bundle of nerves. Riza felt herself quickly approaching the edge with this new angle and attempted to tell Roy as much; however, she found herself incapable of speech. Instead, the only thing she was able to do was cry out.
Likewise, Roy groaned as Riza's channel began to quiver, and he redoubled his efforts, egged on by the sounds she made. He felt himself approaching completion, but he was determined to see her finish first. He didn't have to wait long. She gasped one syllable as she hit her climax: "Roy."
His name on her lips in combination with her orgasm pushed him over the edge, ecstasy crashing over him in waves as he emptied himself into her.
Sated and spent, Roy collapsed beside Riza on the bed. He pressed himself to her side, placing gentle kisses along her shoulder and up her neck. "That was wonderful," he murmured as he reached her ear. Riza hummed in agreement, already beginning to doze off.
"Sleep, love," Roy whispered as he closed his eyes with her.
Roy awoke to quiet rustling noises and a cold spot in the bed beside him. He opened his eyes to see Riza attempting to quickly and quietly get dressed.
"Where are you going?" he asked groggily.
"I thought I should leave. You're probably being watched by the brass or the homonculi or some combination of the two. I didn't want anyone to see me here."
Roy frowned but nodded, the sleep leaving his eyes. He understood her reasoning to an extent. But a selfish part of him didn't want her to go. Riza saw the look on his face.
"Sir, please don't."
"Oh, we're back to 'sir,' are we? Hn." His signature sarcastic laugh that was usually reserved for Edward added kindling to the spark of anger Riza already felt at his insistence to stay.
"Sir, please stop acting like a petulant child. We both know this can't continue. This was nothing more than a moment of weakness," she said, almost bitterly.
"Fine, lieutenant," he spat. "I'll be sure to remember this the next time you show up on my doorstep. I thought that, as long as we're within these walls, we could be open and honest."
"Sir, please, you know that if we got caught -"
"Yes, lieutenant, I know. Forget about righting our wrongs in Ishval, forget about the Fuhrership, forget about everything that we've been working towards for the last several years. God help me, I know! But have you ever considered my feelings in all of this?"
"My hands are tied, colonel. I can't let a relationship between the two of us compromise the greater good that we've been working for!"
"Your hands are not tied," Roy said through gritted teeth. He stood and retrieved a pair of sleeping pants from his dresser drawer. Pulling them on, he continued. "You know that if we started something privately, we would be able to keep it to ourselves. There are already so many secrets between us - what the hell would one more be?"
"That's the problem!" Riza exploded. "I don't want there to be a secret 'us.' I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss your cheek and wear a damn wedding ring in public if I so choose! And, frankly, that's just not possible. I don't know if it will ever be possible. That's our lot in this life we made for ourselves, our penance for the lives we took in Ishval."
"All this time, you've denied yourself - denied me - because of Ishval? Riza, you and I are meant to be. I know we are; I can feel it in my bones, like it's written in the stars. I have had feelings for you for years. Years! And I've accepted this arrangement because I thought there was no other option, that I was a convenient body for you and that love on your behalf was never involved. If you're going to look me in the eye right now and tell me that you don't have honest feelings for me, I'll let you walk out the door, and we'll both pretend this never happened." Roy stood across from Riza, breathing heavily with emotion. Riza remained silent.
"You were the one I was meant to find, Riza," he said at a significantly softer volume, voice still raspy from sleep. "Regardless of our mistakes, I believe we're still meant for each other. All this time… we could have repented for our wrongs together. And fate is keeping you just out of my reach. But then! Then there are nights like tonight where you pull me close and taunt me with what I can't have." He saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I don't want to be with you?" she asked, pain evident in her voice. "Because I do, Roy. More than anything that I've ever wanted in my life. But there are obstacles. There are things that have to come first . Bradley has already separated me from you, separated you from your team. What do you think he would do if he found out that there was more to us than officer and subordinate?"
Roy flinched at her words. He muttered "Bradley already suspects too much." She ignored him, knowing her point was made, and continued.
"There's a war coming, Roy, and we both have parts to play. Until then, we need to stay unnoticed, interacting only when necessary. After that, well, we can cross that bridge if we come it, if we ever make it right."
Roy's throat felt tight. "I hate that we're allowing others and the past to dictate our decisions. We were barely adults in Ishval, Riza, and now, after everything we've sacrificed for this country, we deserve some happiness, especially if we live through all this."
"You know I hate it as much as you do. But we can't flaunt the fraternization laws and pretend that we're not killers." Riza swallowed thickly and steadied a quivering breath; her fists clenched. "That kind of happiness doesn't suit us sir. It's not in our stars, and we can't rewrite them with intentions alone."
He heard Riza exhale slowly. He nodded, understanding her words, but not liking them. A bitter part of him resented her for even following him into the military in the first place. If she had just stayed put , he could have come home to her after the war. They could be happily married, with Riza only knowing what he did, instead of having to witness it firsthand. At least then he could have swallowed his guilt to provide her some happiness. But the rational part of Roy recognized that her following him into hell was a necessary move for the both of them.
The tightness in his throat had turned to a burning sensation. He turned his back as she finished getting dressed. He rested his head in his palms, begging to whoever might be listening for strength.
"Walk me to the door?" he heard quietly. Quickly composing himself, he rubbed his hands down his face and escorted the blonde back down the steps. He watched as she put on her coat.
He reached around her to open the door, and he felt her body pressed against his again, this time in a hug. She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and slipped out of the door and back into the darkness.
Roy stalked through the halls of Central Command on Monday morning, his straight-backed posture giving him an air of importance that the enlisted didn't typically see from him. He had previously suspected the brass was testing him, and after today's meeting he knew that to be a fact.
As he walked towards his now-empty office, devoid of all of his team members, he saw a head of neatly clasped blonde hair making its way towards him. Steeling his facial features, he nodded in her direction as she passed.
"Lieutenant," he said crisply. She nodded in recognition and continued on her way.
As Roy reached the sanctuary of his office, he closed the door and limply slid down the door frame. He sat miserably on the floor, allowing himself a few moments of pity before getting to the work that had piled up. Without his team around, there was more paperwork than usual. But to keep up appearances to other departments, he didn't have a choice.
The colonel took a deep breath, stood, and made his way to his desk. He began to read and sign the documents as appropriate, all the while thinking of the way his love sighed into the darkness. For every sigh and moan that played through his mind, however, there was a shred of regret for keeping her close to him throughout the years. He needed to protect the lieutenant, looking after his master's daughter as he promised. But, in doing so, he damned himself. He worked with his greatest temptation every single day.
The situation was self-imposed, Riza knew, as she walked back to the Fuhrer's office. She understood that she took the position as Roy's subordinate to watch his back - and shoot him in it, if necessary. But that also meant that she had to watch him walk away every time she pushed him further away from her. As she continued into the belly of the beast, she contemplated what it would take to make it through the Promised Day, to keep her colonel - her love - safe.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye," a deep voice startled her out of her thoughts.
"Yes, sir?" she said, turning to look at the man with the ultimate eye.
"I need these delivered to Intelligence immediately," he instructed, brandishing a stack of papers in her direction.
"Right away, sir."
As Riza walked to the requested department of Central Command, she retreated to the recesses of her mind. Did she dare to think about past the upcoming feud? What their future might hold? Would there be room for them as a couple if the colonel achieved his dream of Fuhrership? Sighing quietly but resentfully, she recognized that there would almost always be a barrier for them to get around. And even if they did manage to break through those barriers, would she be able to live with herself, knowing the blood the two had spilled? Do they even deserve that happiness?
They would always be together. Apprentice and daughter. Officer and adjutant. Superior and subordinate. But would they ever truly be able to be together and on equal footing?
No one can rewrite the stars. Especially the star-crossed lovers.