A/N: Yes, everyone, Akina has surfaced again, this time bringing with her a oneshot for your amusement! I threw this together in literally an hour-and-a-half because I REALLY REALLY wanted to and it didn't require a lot of brain power. Things to consider: Yuugi and Mou Hitori no Boku share a body still, it's not Puzzleshipping unless you squint and drink a lot and stand on your head and REALYL REALLY want it to be, and it's rated for perverse implications that innocent kiddies shouldn't bother with unless they really want to. It's only meant as innocent humor...well, not-so-innocent humor...
Dedicated to my boy IRL. Don't ask. ^_^
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Yuugi put the disk into his computer and bobbed in his seat impatiently while the machine began to whirl. He was way too excited for this. What should he expect? Jou hadn't been too specific.
"I swear, Yuugi, this stuff is the best I've ever seen!" Jou had waved the disk in the air as he spoke. They were waiting outside after school for Anzu. "It's just so—oh man! I can't even say anything or I'll ruin it! I promise you, man, you will NOT be disappointed!"
Honda nudged Jou. "Yeah man, I have to say, I was really impressed. That was unlike anything you've ever lent me before. Yuugi, watch it tonight. You gotta!"
It wasn't that Yuugi didn't have his own collection, but it wasn't anything too out of the ordinary. It was simply…boring. Jou was the one who always managed to get a hold of the exotic, exceptional, almost-crossing-the-line-but-keeping-it-just-right kid of stuff that most guys only dreamt of because they didn't know where to look. Jou ALWAYS knew where to look. Yuugi took full advantage of this.
The initial loading was done. Yuugi double clicked on the file and opened it up. The window maximized, and the opening image of the video nearly made him faint.
"What is it?" Anzu had asked. Yuugi stuffed the disk into his bag, hiding his eager face.
"N-nothing," he muttered. "It's really nothing."
"Honestly, Anzu," Jou had cut in, saving Yuugi from the spotlight, "see, you have these things called boobs. And, well, as long as you have boobs, we can't tell you about this kind of stuff. It's guy stuff."
Anzu rubbed her temple. "You know what? I don't want to know anymore. I'm going to pretend this exchange never happened. I'm changing this subject now."
Yuugi smiled slightly as the conversation went on to cover Duel Monsters, English essays, and Honda's unfortunate crush on Jou's innocent little sister. He was different from most boys in a number of ways; shy guy, short, game master, host to the spirit of an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. But there was one thing that united all boys or all sizes and personalities: one thing that made them boys. Men.
It is porn. It is the sacred collection of horny men single and committed and young and old all over the world.
And the best porn Yuugi would ever see in his life was on his computer screen, just waiting for him to press play.
He briefly check the mind link between himself and Mou Hitori no Boku. He stepped into the hallway of his mind, and approached the door to his other self's soul room. It was tightly shut. He pressed his ear to it but heard no sound. He retreated back to reality quickly.
He was in his pajamas, but he quickly lost the pants and boxers. They sat discarded around his ankles.
He pressed play.
Oh…oh my gods…whoa, is that even physically possible? Look at the size of THAT! Holy cow! Ohhhhhhhh man! Jou, you are the best friend EVER!
Yuugi stared unblinking at his computer screen, absorbing every frame of footage to pass before him. Unconsciously, his hands were already at work down below. He was more than transfixed, he was…WOW!
Things got steamier. The video picked up pace, and he did too. It was remarkable. The artistry...the angles…the quality…the BOOBS…everything about this video screamed "I AM THE BEST PORN YOU WILL EVER SEE."
It began to reach the end. Yuugi was close himself. His mind was on emotional overload. Every nerve was tingling. He felt like every part of him would burst.
So when the one particular part of him did, the sheer explosion of feeling released in the process brought forth the one thing he least expected. His mind became overrun with chaos, similar to the times he had been plagued with panic attacks when he was bullied by Ushio and had to duel Kaiba for the honor and over-all health of his grandfather. And that meant that the one meant to protect him did what his knee-jerk reaction had always been under those types of conditions.
Pharaoh took over the barely conscious boy's body and opened his alert eyes to something he had never seen in all his years of existing.
"What the—OH HOLY RA!"
His partners hand was wrapped around his twitching dangly parts, a bit of mess covered his desk and legs, and something amazingly raunchy was playing on the computer screen. And he was shocked and horrified and embarrassed.
As he gaped stupidly while trying to process his unusual circumstance, he realized something equally horrifying. When Yuugi came, he had actually been quite vocal about it. And Yuugi was not a loud person unless something was out of the ordinary. And out of the ordinary usually was bad.
And that realization happened just as his bedroom door swung open to reveal an alarmed Sugoroku Mutou, who soon became a horrified Sugoroku Mutou.
"What in Kami's name are you DOING, Yuugi?! And…WHAT IS PLAYING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN?!"
"W-wait, Grandpa, I can explain! This isn't— I mean— it's not—"
"You are grounded young man! GROUNDED! I know this is natural for a boy your age but discretion is CRUCIAL! I will not have my grandson flaunting his vulgarity around the house and neighborhood! It's a good thing your mother isn't home!"
"But I'm not Yuugi! I mean I am! I mean it was him, but—"
"PHARAOH?! Now you listen here! I don't what kind of perverse bloodline you come from, or how royal you think you are, but YOU WILL NOT CORRUPT MY GRANDSON IS SUCH A WAY!"
When Yuugi came to in his soul room, he quickly realized the explaining he was going to have to do…
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading! Review if you'd like, I always enjoy feedback! Even if you hated it! Until next time!