Anya must have fallen asleep, not by long though, because there was light still out. But when the sky started to get cloudy all of a sudden, her brain decided it was time to get back to the safety of the shady hotel room she'd been staying in. So that's how she found herself climbing her way up from the beach to the grassy Norwegian field, palms and knees sore from the contact they made with the pointy rocks.
She sighed in relief when she saw the surface was only a hand away. Almost there. When all of a sudden a lightning bolt caused her to lose her grip on the grass. The electric shock stiffening her muscles. With a grunt and reflexes Anya didn't know she possesed, she managed to hold herself onto a rock before she plumeted to the ground. Hurriedly, Anya climbed up again, feeling the fine hair at the back of her neck and her arms stand up not only from fear, but due to the electricity currently running through her body.
With a heart racing faster than Michael Phelps in a pool, Anya finally, finally, managed to stand on two feet. Dusting off her jeans, Anya's eyes were met with the figures of two tall men with… capes? and a woman in a catsuit.
Jesus Christ. These Norwegians were something else.
She really shouldn't have come. Because, really, she had no idea what in the name of god was going on.
The previous adrenaline made Anya bold. Bold enough to talk to the quirky strangers.
"He- Hello, there!" Anya said loudly, the three of them turned to her with expressions varying from annoyance to surprise. Did they understand english? Anya was scolding herself from coming to Norway in the first place. But she got herself into this alone and alone she should have to get through it.
"Uh, sorry, ah... did you feel that? The lighting bolt, I mean. Is it something common around here? Because I'm pretty sure I almost died", Anya trailed off with an awkward laugh. No one laughed back, if anything, their faces grew more serious.
The men looked oddly familiar, so naturally Anya thought that maybe she had seen them somewhere on the internet in a try not to cringe youtube compilation. What with their extravagant clothes and all that.
And the woman with, sorry but someone had to say it, too much eyeshadow rolled her eyes in irritation, before running her hands over her head and making a crown of antlers appear out of nowhere on top of her head. Then a blade extended out of thin air in each of her hands.
Anya's knees buckled.
Everyone's attention was back on the crowned woman. That should have been nice. Except it wasn't.
This- This was definitely not normal.
"Bring us back!" one of the males, the dark haired one, screamed to the sky. He was probably pleading to god to please sent him to heaven before the horned witch impaled him with a blade.
The blond man yelled something back, but before Anya could discern what the hell was happening, a rainbow like force appeared, and abducted her like aliens would, up towards the sky.
And oh god oh god ohgod. She was dead. She was so dead. Was this hell? Anya looked to her right at the man in dark clothes and her heart skipped a beat. No. This was definitely not hell. But then- what was going on? Anya voice this and the dark haired man, too pretty to belong to the eternal flames of hell frowned, apparently just realizing that she was in there too.
"Loki!" Yelled the blonde flying like a comet above them, and in synch the three of them looked down. The horned witch looked positively murderous in the center of the colourful rainbow.
Loki? Loki... Loki- Loki! Of course. It all made sense. The odd attires, the impossible rainbows, the horned crowns over murderous people- all the mess around Anya.
These people were not normal. These people were the big leagues. And wasn't Loki supposed to be dead? Anya was pretty sure she had heard that on the news.
So the blond must be Thor then, that would explain the red cape, and- nope, there's no hammer. Still, long blond hair, god-like muscles, looking like this was just a small inconvenience in the daily day. Jeez, how had Anya missed that? Well, she certainly wasn't expecting to meet a superhero or a supervillain or a superwitch like... ever.
Who could blame her?
The whole reason Anya was there at the right place in the wrong time was bizarre enough. She should have seen this coming. At least she should have figured something eccentric was going to happen. But alas, she didn't, and the past was in the past.
Anya's thoughts that were running a mile a minute were interrupted by the dark haired one, Loki, who threw a dagger at the horned witch. She caught the weapon easily and threw it right back at a speed Anya's fried brain had trouble to comprend. It must have hit him, because Loki lost balance and Anya felt his weight violently slam against her, the force of the collision threw the two of them out of the rainbow. Anya's fingers latched onto Loki with all their strength. And then the two of them were twirling like fidget spinners in the nothingness. For a very long moment Anya could not breathe, nor hear anything. She just clung to him tightly, eyes squeezed shut, as if her life depended on it. And now, thinking about it, it did.
She lost hold of him at the same moment the air could enter her lungs again. Like a splash of cold water. Anya fell harshly into an old mattress, the springs made her bounce towards a giant racket, and that, in turn, dragged her to the ground, where she landed on a soft surface that smelled like leather and had the ability of speech.
"Ow- fuck" it groaned.
Anya rubbed her face against the soft ground eliciting another whine. Opening her eyes, it took her an embarrassingly long time to accommodate her thoughts –which were so scrambled from so much turning and twirling in the last minutes– to realize that she was on top of someone, not something. Her brain felt like a scrambled egg.
And her head- oh sweet baby Jesus -was using Loki's crotch as a pillow.
In a second Anya's eyes snapped wide open, all her blood rushed to her head and she was up like a good little soldier in a millisecond. The whiplash made her dizzy, so she leaned her weight on her knees. And that's how Anya found herself crouched and ashamed, but very much alive.
"Sorry," Anya wheezed after a second, mortified. "I'm really, really sorry." She pressed her hand to her forehead hard, and somehow it did help with the pain. It grounded her. "And- And thankful too. Your jun- I mean- you saved my fall." She cleared her throat, face burning. The man glared at Anya through tear stained eyes.
Anya shuffled a little in her place. Biting her lower lip and twisting her fingers, she stepped closer to him. "Truce?" Loki ignored her offered hand and stood up on his own, albeit with some trouble. For his sake Anya pretended not to notice when he winced and started doing a few subtle squats out of the corner of her eye. Instead, Anya turned around inspecting the surrounding area curiously, pretending to be brave.
The sky was as grey as it had been in Norway. Though Anya assumed they weren't in Norway anymore, considering… considering everything, really. This place looked more like a trash-land.
"Do you know where we are?" Anya asked at the same time Loki inquired a raspy "who are you?"
She blinked at him. "I'm Anya Riddle. Uh, nice to meet you, I guess". Her mouth stretched into a polite and awkward smile. Loki didn't respond to her question, instead he asked, "what were you doing back there?"
"Nothing" she answers fast. Too fast.
His eyes narrowed to slits. Arms crossed across his chest. "You were doing nothing...in the middle of nowhere?"
Anya mimicked his pose, though hers had a more a guarded air rather than the sassy one he exuded. "I was minding my own business" she argued defensively. "Oh, and you know what? I could ask the same thing of you"
"Ah, so you are turning the conversation on me", he raised his eyebrows and exhaled an exasperated puff of air.
Anya wished she was back home, safe and unbothered. Right now she couldn't tell him why she'd been in Norway, where she found them. Loki would think her stupid, well, more stupid than he surely already thought her to be, anyways. And maybe, probably, even crazy. Anya thought she was starting to lose a few screws too, but she sure as hell wasn't about to tell anyone that.
"I wasn't the one that brought that- that rainbow thing, or was chilling with the murderous witch. If anyone deserves an explanation, that would be me".
Loki rolled his eyes.
Anya's right eye twitched.
"Do you know where we are?" she repeated her question, hoping this time this profesional eye roller answered.
He started at Anya, deadpan.
"We are not in Norway anymore." Was his impassive answer.
"I can tell," her right eye twitched again. Loki's eyes twinkled, but never once did he change his neutral expression. But Anya could bet her ass he was amused by the effect he was having on her. After all, her exasperation was practically pouring out of her.
It didn't stop Anya for stubbornly narrowing her eyes at him.
The wind howled through the trash.
Unsurprisingly Anya was the first to break the eye contact on their unspoken contest, preferring to shift her gaze to the side and look at a peculiar looking plushie. His gaze was… too intense. And he was too pretty, and lord knows Anya has a tiny bitty problem with talking to attractive people, or being in their general presence. They made her nervous for some reason. And that, for Anya, was more scary than being alone in the dark.
"Soo…" she cleared her throat, "this place, do you know where we are?"
A huge bell fell from the sky with a loud clang, just a few meters from where they were standing. Loki stayed impassive while Anya jumped out of her skin. "We are in the trash".
Wow. Much helpful, very serviceable.
She was definitely sure he was poking at her to make her angry. It was working.
"In the trash of…?" Anya tilted her head to the front, waiting for his response as patiently as she could muster, even if inside her head she was screaming.
Loki turned around and started walking.
"Somewhere," he said.
How elocuent.
Anya let out a long sigh as she followed right behind him. Shoulders hunched. So he was going to be petty. She prayed for patience as she widened her steps to match his longer strides.
Anya was all alone in this strange place and the only person visible in this whole mess was Loki. So she wasn't going to let him toss her out of their group of two. It was safer to travel with someone else anyway.
Like a lost puppy, Anya followed the tall man for hours. Occasionally, she tried to start a conversation but he would answer with a roll of his eyes or sassy one liners that made her clench her teeth and want to throw him some trash.
It was getting dark when she spotted a shiny gold trinket of a ladybug by her feet and with it came an idea.
"Look- Loki, right?" his eyebrows twitched, the only indication he was listening to Anya. She pulled her small gold chain out of her neck and fastened the charm with the chain. Upon closer inspection, the ladybug was a bit different from the ones she'd seen before. The golden animal had what looked like bunny ears and a tiny tail, but it was still adorable to Anya's eyes and she was sure Loki would think so too.
"I'm truly sorry for having, uhm, used your- ah, you know," Anya gestured to her crotch. For some reason she couldn't phrase it, it made her face burn all over again. It also made her feel infantile, but she never said she was a mature person. Sorry for using your jewels, she wanted to say "to cushion my fall. It was zero percent intentional." Loki looked unimpressed.
Nevertheless, she pressed on, blabbering, "This kind of things… I mean the embarrasing ones, not falling on top of a handsome man, they tend to happen to me-" At this, Loki's eyebrows went up, his eyes wide. Was it that shocking that she lived in embarrassment? Please! As if he hadn't once in his life been involved in an embarrassing event! "- a lot. And I apologize for dragging you down with me. I don't want beef." Anya extended her arm towards him, palm open to offer him the chain with the trinket. "A token, for you. For good luck… and to make peace".
He accepted the gift from her hand, staring at it with curiosity. His eyes– were they blue or green?– went wide for the second time that day. Loki looked at Anya with an odd expression, then opened his mouth. Anya heard the intake of breath one does before giving a long speech, but all of a sudden he tensed, his expression hardened, and he put a finger over his mouth, halting his step. "Hush," Loki said.
"Come on. Please. I don't want you thinking I-"
"Be quiet", he hissed, grabbing her arm and pulling Anya down behind a hot pink boat. In this position she was incredibly close to him. Anya could feel his breath on the back of her neck and her anxiety started to kick in. She had never been this close with an attractive male and she was nervous he'd hear her heartbeat quickening.
Just as Anya was about to take his gloriously cool palm off her arm she heard it, the not so quiet stomping of people. Soundlessly, she leaned to the side, peeking through a hole in the floor of the boat that gave her direct view to a group of masked people walking in their direction. They didn't look friendly. They had guns. Scavengers was the first word that came to her mind. Anya had wanted to see people in this foreign place, but now she wasn't quite so sure.
"What are we gonna do-" Anya's hissing, panicked voice was suddenly muffled by Loki's hand which he stamped over her mouth. He soon pulled it out, cleaning the spit Anya had licked on his palm in his robes with a repulsed expression.
You walked straight into this. Anya mouthed to him.
"Oh-ho-ho! Lookit here!" A man mocked from behind your backs, gaining the attention of the crowd Loki and Anya had been watching seconds ago.
"Found something good, Greg?" Another male joined him. Someone whistled.
"Let's find out, aye?"
In a matter of seconds they were surrounded by masked people, like in an episode of Sesame Street, but like R rated, because Anya wase surely going to die from a shot of one of their guns.
Loki, who had the composure of someone who was preparing to sleep, raised his hands as if in surrender, then calmly said, "gentlemen, I–".
"Are you a fightah or are you food?" a particularly dirty looking muppet interrupted.
Anya wanted to say none, dumbass. What kind of question is that. But her mouth couldn't form words. They were armed. Anya wasn't. The disadvantage was on her and Loki.
But Loki, bless his hopefully good soul, remained calm and confident. A charming, heart melting smile plastered over his face. "We were heading to the city, but unfortunately our ship failed. I'm afraid we lost our way."
It was as if he was talking with old friends. Anya wouldn't admit it outloud but damn was he a good actor. She wished she was half as convincing as Loki. Anya was sure her anxiety was projecting.
"And who are ya?"
"Oh, of course, where are my manners? I am King Loki of Asgard," he nodded his head elegantly, a hand at his back. Yeah, he was good. He almost convinced Anya that he was a King. He looked regal, that's for sure. Though it didn't do much for the others.
"Hah! Really?" the who-are-ya man exclaimed incredulously, taking his mask off.
"We'll take ya to the Grandmaster and see what he thinks 'bout that".
"What about her?" Greg questioned. Anya gritted her teeth behind a tight lipped smile, fighting the urge to glare at Greg for bringing the attention to her and fighting against her sudden desire to cower behind Loki.
Whatabout Anya?
Think fast.
Well, Loki was definitely onto something, and so far he hadn't been killed for anything he had said. So, if he was playing that game, then Anya might as well adapt.
Anya cleared her throat and smiled as royally as she could muster. "I'm the Queen of Asgard".
Loki'd hand encircled Anya's arm and squeezed a little too hard. He shook his head almost imperceptibly at Anya with a disbelieving, nervous smile. "He he. She is jest– " but before he could end that sentence Anya silenced him, turning to face Loki fully while putting a hand on his chest, the other one going towards his smooth cheek.
"We're lost", she said softly, "we just want to go home." Anya send Loki a pleading look. Please, please, don't give me up or I'll drag you down with me. Anya was following his game after all.
Loki narrowed his eyes for a fraction of a second as Anya stroked his cheek with her thumb. She could see the gears on his head working. Then, the natural looking fake smile was back on his face all at once as he turned his gaze towards the muppets.
Anya prayed it meant she was safe for now.
Hello! Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it! Suggestions and comments are always welcome.
See you in the next chapter =)