Hey there!
Wow, I can't believe I actually managed to come up with a sequel for this story. It did take me a while, and I'm sorry you had to wait so long.
It was quite a lot of work, but I think it was worth it in the end. There's definitely a lot to come!
I quickly want to thank everyone who has sent me some wonderful reviews and messages when I was writing 'You Are The Cure'. They have been my motivation to keep writing.
Without further ado: Here's the first chapter of 'Walk Upon Water'. I hope you enjoy!
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Lead me where my trust is without boarders,
let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger.
The Italian villa was old. With creaky floors and clanky pipes, chips and cracks in the tile floors and dust on everything. It had history. It had character. I loved it. The terracotta-colored walls were textured with stucco and the furniture was old and minimal. The only thing it really had going for it was its unexpected ability to hold warmth from the fireplace. But we weren't in Tuscany to spend time in the villa, we were there to drink wine and eat and gaze at the Tuscan sunset after long days of walking through Florence.
In the last 6 months I'd spent with Rick travelling I'd watched the stone walls of his heart slowly crumble and he softened from an apathetic deadly weapon into a deeply-feeling individual who would do anything for anyone. There were moments where I just couldn't believe how lucky I was. Thanks to him I found myself being the happiest I had ever been in my life. It felt so natural being with him.
After polishing off my pasta, I was battling Rick for the last bite of chocolate hazelnut cheesecake when his phone started vibrating on the table. Hershel's name displayed on the screen and we both stopped.
"If we don't get a voicemail, we're fine. He's probably just checking in." Rick said, eyeing his phone suspiciously until it stopped ringing. I took the opportunity to snap the last bite and smirk at him. Rick grinned at me for a few seconds before his eyes changed and gifted me with one of those heart-melting looks. He brushed his fingers over my lips and leaned in when his phone began ringing again. His forehead fell against mine and he let out an annoyed sigh.
"You better get it." I said amused. He couldn't help but grin and roll his eyes jokingly before he snatched up his phone.
"I'm kinda busy right now, Hershel."
"Nice to hear from you too, Rick. You sound uncommonly grouchy for someone who's been rolling around the mediterranean in a sea of wine and pasta with his girlfriend." He chuckled.
"Well, I'm at dinner with said girlfriend and you're forcing me to be rude." He said winking at me.
Hershel wasn't exactly thrilled the day we walked into his office hand-in-hand and said we were leaving the country. But I could tell he loved Rick like a son and was happy for him. Thanks to him Rick had managed to stay unbothered by the military for most of our trip.
"I need you to relocate your dinner to Atlanta."
"Fat chance, we've got three more days before we head home."
"If you don't come home now we'll have to postpone the wedding." Rick and I shot confused looks at each other and said in unison,
"What wedding?"
It felt weird to be back in my apartment. I had been gone for a while, and even before we left for our little adventure I had spent most days with Rick at his place. Everything still looked the same, that's why it seemed like I didn't really fit into the picture anymore. Half a year ago I had been living in here like a ghost, afraid of the world outside. Memories of myself sitting curled up beside the window with a book and gazing onto the busy streets flooded my mind and I had to let out a small laugh at that. I was more than ready to create new memories.
I put my bag down, pulled out my phone and checked the time. I had about three hours to get ready for the wedding. Excitement rushed through me.
Apparently the dramatic events between myself, Rick and Negan offered Glenn and Maggie a powerful moment of extreme clarity. Glenn told us upon our arrival back in Atlanta that he realized life is short and committing your life to serve your country didn't mean you weren't allowed to pursue your own happiness. Life can't be spent worrying about rules or how to please everyone else. It's the only thing that makes life with all it's hardships worth living. So after years and years of sneaking around, laughing off rumors, and lying to avoid any obvious conflicts of interest that could affect them professionally, Glenn and Maggie damned the consequences and decided to get married. And Hershel, who had been promoted after Negan and his accomplices in the army got exposed, was quick to support them in that decision.
"I'm the goddamn Brigadier General." He said with a proud grin. „I'd like to see someone try to come between you two. They'd be signing their own discharge papers if they pissed me off now." We had to admit, it was fun to watch the subordinates dance around him more nervously than usual. The only person who was never intimidated by him was Rick.
In fact, the only person who could intimidate Rick would probably have to be my grandmother, who was also invited to the wedding tonight. After getting yelled at by her at the hospital I understood his nervousness when I told him she was coming as well, but I still found it amusing. I knew my grandmother could be quite a hand full, but I was sure she was going to come to love Rick sooner or later. For as long as I can remember it had always been just me and her. She was incredibly overprotective and it was hard for her to learn that I had finally found people who loved and cared for me just like she did. That I wasn't alone anymore. And that meant that she wasn't either. Our little family had expanded.
That thought made me stop in my tracks. I stared at the folded clothes I had just unpacked and disposed on my bed for a couple of seconds before shifting my gaze down – towards my belly. A couple of days ago I realized that I was late. Suddenly I felt nervous again. I took the rest of my clothes out of my bag and searched for the pregnancy test I had bought earlier today. It was absurd. Even holding it in my hand felt strange. There's no way.
A couple of dreadful seconds passed.
It would explain an awful lot. My never-ending hunger. My sleepless nights. Also the vomiting. Usually my disorder would keep me from getting sick or missing my period… fuck.
I ripped open the packaging and raced to the bathroom.
It was the longest three minutes of my life. Three minutes of pure torture as I sat, nervously bouncing my knee up and down and waited. I tried to focus on breathing – inhale, exhale, inhale again, and silently told myself to take this one step at a time. There was a chance I could be worrying for nothing. The timer on my phone chimed, signaling what I prayed would be the end of my suffering. There was a large possibility that reading the results would only be the beginning of my anguish. I gulped, held my breath, and looked at the stick in my hand.
Oh dammit. Oh dammit.
This was bad. Very very bad. Rick was gonna…
My stomach made a distressed gurgle and I sank myself from the couch to the floor and pouted miserably. I'd missed a pill awhile back, and as precaution told Rick to wear a condom the next time we had sex. But a few nights later we went out for drinks and stumbled home hammered and horny and without coherent thought, so in the nightstand drawer the raincoats remained. I was kicking myself for being so hungover that it took me until the following evening to get the morning after pill.
I didn't know if I wanted children. I thought kids were amazing, I enjoyed their bright happy smiles and hilarious lack of verbal filters, but my life was complicated and crazy and not something I was sure I wanted to bring a child into. Sure, there was a part of me that kind of liked entertaining the idea of motherhood, but to properly raise a human for this world is by far one of the hardest things anyone could do, and I didn't know if I was ready for that.
And then there was the bigger reason for the grueling dread I felt in my core. I was going to give Rick something to really freak the fuck out about, because Rick absolutely, positively, one million percent did not want kids. Ever. We'd had a few long conversations about it after the parade of mutual friends and their prodding questions began pouring in. Rick didn't trust himself. His life was dangerous and scary, and for most of it he didn't believe he'd ever be normal. There were several times when he thought he wouldn't live to see the next day. Wether it be by the enemy's hand or by his very own. Children hardly ever crossed his mind until he was sent to protect the Blake family and wound up adoring 4-year old Judith as though she was a daughter of his own. Her death solidified his decision to never reproduce because he'd considered himself ill-equipped to protect a child from his life, and the shakiness of his mental state was not the best thing to knowingly bring a baby into. The reasoning alone made it easy enough for me to get on board with not having children, because he and I were still a family. We would still lead full and happy lives because we were together and loved each other with all our hearts.
I pulled myself to my feet and decided that I had to tell Rick as soon as possible. I told myself that no matter what, he would be understanding. We were gonna do this together.
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The wedding was a small, intimate affair attended by only immediate family and closest of friends. Rick and I hadn't seen each other yet, since Maggie had chosen me to be her bridesmaid and Glenn had handed Rick the responsibility of best man. The minute I saw him standing next to Glenn at the altar my heart immediately started racing again. His eyes locked with mine and he smiled at me. I forced myself to smile back at him and averted my attention back to Maggie, who started walking down the aisle. How the hell was I going to do this? My anxiety was screaming at me to tell him as soon as possible to get it over with, but I didn't want to ruin the wedding for him. I decided to just wait for the right moment. Throughout the ceremony I would catch myself looking over to Rick every once in a while, only to see that he had been staring at me as well. I could see the love in his eyes and all my worry disappeared for a brief beautiful moment while we were both standing there in front of the altar.
While the ceremony was modest and occupied by a small number of exclusives, the after party that evening was an over-the top affair with easily 300 people in attendance. I helped Maggie change into a more comfortable dress before joining the other guests outside. I began looking for Rick and found him standing by the bar with Abraham and Daryl. His blue eyes zeroed in on me and I found myself breathless and rooted where I stood. He walked up to me and handed me a glass of champagne.
"Hey you."
"Hi." I breathed out, snaking my arms around him and smiling welcomingly at Abraham and Daryl, who had walked up to me as well.
"So.. Glenn and Maggie.." Abraham started. „Who would have known?"
Rick and I looked at each other knowingly before grinning.
"Are you two kidding? You mean you knew?"
"Oh I knew this day was coming because I've been harassing them about it since we were 19. I caught them big time in a broom closet." Rick replied and we all started laughing.
"And you managed to keep it from Greene? Man, Maggie probably owed you big time. You guys are like siblings, right?"
"Yea, I guess you could say that." He laughed.
Rick clasped my hand as we took our seats at the head table next to the empty Bride and Groom seats and waited for Maggie and Glenn to arrive together. After a while Hershel had joined us as at the table, as well as Sasha, Ezekiel and Rosita. While everyone was engrossed in conversation, I looked around and spotted some more of our friends. Carol, Tara and Paul Rovia were here as well. It was enchanting to see them all dressed up, since I usually only ever saw them dressed in their uniforms.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when Ricks hand found it's way to the small of my back. I turned around and looked at him.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
Shit. I had almost forgotten that I was currently keeping a pretty big secret from him that would probably cause him to lose his mind. I gulped.
"Um.. yea, I'm fine."
He grew quiet and stared at me suspiciously for a couple of seconds. Then he leaned in to whisper in my ear.
"You look gorgeous. Can't wait to rip that dress off."
All the muscles in my lower stomach clenched. He planted a soft kiss just below my ear, then swiftly stood to join the rowdy applause as everyone cheered to Glenn and Maggie's arrival. I gathered my wits to stand and applaud with everyone else. I stole another glance at Rick and was met with his usual shit-eating grin. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle and roll my eyes at him. He looked amazing like always, just a little cleaner than usual. Beard neatly trimmed, with combed hair and that incredible designer suit in black on black that he wore to the charity function a while back.
The boisterous cheering softened to a dull roar and the band played on as Glenn and Maggie made the rounds, saying quick hellos to each table of friends and colleagues before finally making their way to their seats beside us at the head table. Glenn was dashing as ever in a classic black and white tux and Maggie simply stunned the room. The sight of her in floor length white silk was breathtaking. Rick and I hugged them both, unable to suppress our huge grins, and Maggie pulled back from Rick's embrace and cheerfully asked,
"So, how's everything working out?" Clearly she meant between Rick and I. He slid his gaze to me, then Glenn and Hershel. I realized then just how close of a family they were. Rick was really special to all of them. He smiled and looked back at Maggie.
"It's good. Really good. Amazing actually." Maggie's gaze fell back on me.
"Look at you two." She chimed and I started laughing. „I don't know what you've done to him, but whatever it is, keep doing it." She joked and hugged me as well. Then she walked to join Glenn and we all took our seats again. As the band started up to drown out the applause the waiters appeared with the first courses, I felt warm fingers lace themselves with mine under the table.
The party was carrying long into the night, and began to wind down somewhere around 3am. Most of the guests had said their goodbyes earlier, leaving our usual group of close-knits and their dates all sitting together in the hotel lounge sipping brandy, smoking cigars and eating the wedding cake. Shoes were gone, ties were loosened. Some sat on the floor and some were on the tufted couches. I sat with Maggie, Rosita, Tara and Sasha, who were swapping light-hearted gossip back and forth, sneaking occasional glances at the men sitting across from us with their open collars, evening scruff and half empty bottles of scotch. Luckily no one had noticed that I haven't been drinking the whole evening. After a while Glenn walked over to us and took Maggie by the hand.
"Calm down, Glenn." Rosita teased in her usual playful way as she linked arms with Maggie.
"We're still having girl time over here, you'll have to wait a little longer before she's all yours." She winked, followed by the men's laughter. Rick grinned and leaned back in his chair.
The conversation among friends and good natured teasing continued for a while, only faltering when a very tired looking man in a grey suit – no doubt the hotel's manager – walked somewhat nervously over to our group to inquire when we'd be retiring for the evening. It was 4am, and well past my bedtime.
After everyone left Rick and I stayed behind to help Glenn, Maggie and Hershel clean up a bit. We gathered up my shoes and Ricks suit jacket, then walked outside the door and waited for our cab to arrive. He had noticed my shivering and pulled his jacket over my shoulders before wrapping his strong arms around me to keep me warm. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and we stood there for a couple of minutes alone. I felt anxiety creep up its way into my chest once again. Should I tell him now?
"…Rick." I started quietly.
He pulled away a bit.
"Yeah?" I looked up and was met with his blue eyes boring into me. I had to look away and take a deep breath.
"What is it?" He laughed nervously while lightly placing his hand on my cheek to make me look at him again.
"I'm-..." The words got caught in my throat.
Suddenly, distant chattering caught our attention. The hotel manager was joined by another man in another grey suit, this time carrying a slip of folded white paper and presented it to Hershel.
"A fax came to the hotel for you, Sir. From Internal Affairs. They asked me to tell you it's urgent." He said.
Hershel paused for a moment, staring at the folded paper.
"A fax? They could have just emailed me."
"They asked me to tell you that they tried but you apparently aren't looking at your phone, Sir." Hershel's expression soured and he took the paper while muttering,
"It's not like my daughter is getting married today or anything." He unfolded it and scanned the first lines, then froze. He promptly folded the paper up and slit it into his tux's inner breast pocket.
"What is it?" Maggie asked, walking over to him. He smiled down at her.
"It can wait till tomorrow. Just something I need to look into. I don't want to talk about it until we do some fact checking."
Rick and I had walked in already.
"Is something wrong?" Rick asked. Hershel turned around and paused before letting out a sigh. He pulled the paper from his jacket to glance at it's contents again before handing it to Rick.
"We might have found your brother."
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That was chapter 1! Let me know what you think so far.
Chapter 2 will be up very very soon.
Thank you for reading! x