Chapter 1

Axel Nash.

The sand feels awfully good after you've smoked a mad joint. Every single cell in my body seems to tingle in a sort of pleasing way that has me smiling at the sky. The sky seems so friendly and oh so warm and kind. He's smiling down at me as the sun is setting. The colors and clouds seem so fake to me. The red sky began to fuse beautifully with purple hues. I wonder…why couldn't life be as perfect as the sky right now?

And then the sun is gone and darkness engulfs my very numb body. The last ray of sun felt like an imprint upon my forehead. I touch the spot…trying to rub it off, eventually finding my rubbing useless.

I hiss as I wiggle my socked foot in the sand and encounter something sharp. I reach for my foot and clutch it. With the minimal light left, I can see that my sock is ripped and my foot is scratched. I poke at it and wince. Fucking a…

I stare at my foot for the longest time and literally space out.

People fear the oddest things, like death. They fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over.

I sigh and let myself fall backwards. I pull my headphones down to my neck as I stare up at the darkening sky. I feel like I'm melting into the sand.

If I crawl in deep enough, will they find me?

I'm rambling in my head so much…it reminds me of my mother. I'm just like my mother. I try to clear my head for a moment to get me more relaxed.

I end up trying so hard I hear almost nothing. I've managed to block out the laughter and waves in my surroundings. All I can hear is an eerie noise in my ear…clouding everything. I feel awfully lonely and paranoid. It's quiet…too quiet. And then the thumping noise begins. It's slow and echoes. I picture a balloon popping every time I hear the 'thump'…even though it's a 'thump'…not a 'pop'. My vision is thumping. The stars are dancing with my thumping beat as I look back up. They're oh so beautiful….it's so beautiful.

POP!

I can hear again. Laughter, wind and waves fill my ears as I blink stupidly. The thumping is no more amusing…since I can now tell it was just my heartbeat.

My blood pressure is probably somewhere around 200.

I could die…but then they'd call me selfish. That's what I'm considered…selfish; Selfish because I want to live my life; Selfish because I want to be a little more independent. Selfish because I'd rather work than do chores. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Is it really wrong to have a dream and to actually want a better future for yourself? One that you would love to enjoy? Where's the fun and good in doing the same fucking thing your family's been doing for generations? Why not some change? Why not some maturing actually. Kids shouldn't be so dependent on their parents. They need to learn and face the harsh realities of life and not live off mommy and dada. I mean, what kind of mentality is that? It's just stupid.

There's a HUUGE difference from being independent and being selfish.

For some reason…my family doesn't get that…

Yeah…I'm rambling again.

"Can I stay over?"

"Sure," Demyx yawned.

He's cute when he's in his jammies. Well he's cute either way. His jammies are his boxer briefs by the way. He holds the door open for me while I walk in.

"I'll be right back," he yawns again, as I pull my bag off.

I sit down on the carpet rather than the leather couch. I let myself fall backwards, laying completely down on the floor. I hear Demyx's tiny footsteps approach as I'm letting my eyes fall shut. He humms as he kicks my bag to the corner, turns the TV on, and throws a blanket over him and me.

"What happened baby?" he asks.

"….nothing.."

He sighs and scoots closer to me. He hugs me ad places his head on my chest.

"I broke up with Xaldin," he says.

Xaldin and him have been on and off for years now. It's pretty annoying, but it's something everyone got used to. I never liked Xaldin. He would humiliate Demyx in public and always visited him to his convenience. He would hog him and never respected him. Demyx loved him though so he dealt with it.

I didn't respond, so he just stopped talking.

I love Demyx, but not enough to be in a relationship with him. I met Demyx back in the 9th grade. He hated me at first because I kept to myself. He helped me open up though; very social and outgoing. I thought I was in love with him. Around a month later my grandma passed away, leaving my mom shattered. My family was falling apart. I slowly fell into a deep depression. Demyx was with me the entire time, even though he wasn't having an easy go either. We stuck together, became the greatest friends ever.

10th grade rolled around and I had my first boyfriend. His name was Lazard. I thought he was perfect. He was smart and polite; I loved him. I always wanted to be around him. We shared many things in common and had the greatest of times together.

Demyx met Xaldin in the 10th grade. He was head over heels for this guy. It was all he talked about when we did. They were always together; it became annoying.

Then the fighting started. Demyx started drinking and smoking. I'd get phone calls at around 3am from a drunken Demyx who was lost and couldn't get home. He had either been ditched by Xaldin or they had fought when he called.

I was still a good kiddo then….sort of. I would sneak out to have quickies with Lazard; I slept on the couch so it was fairly easy. I was in my Junior year when I started feeling odd. I became confused about the way I felt about Lazard. He had become louder and comfortable around me….a bit TOO comfortable. I dumped him and things became chaos. Suddenly everyone disliked me and I had no friends…not even Demyx.

Demyx had become a lost cause for me at the moment. He was on and off with Xaldin. I had become tired of him and just ignored him. Everyone comforted Lazard who was apparently 'heartbroken'. I fell into a deep depression…once again, and I was alone this time.

I was experiencing constant breakdowns. I wouldn't eat and started smoking. My mom was in the hospital at the moment. Things couldn't get worse for me. My house became the pits. Everyone ignored obvious chores and became assholes, and so did I.

Eventually, I started talking to Rikku, who had become good friends with Demyx; which in the end led me to talking to Demyx again. I had really missed him. He and Xaldin weren't together at the moment. They had fought again and were ignoring each other…again. Demyx and I started walking home again and the laughs and smiles returned.

Rikku is probably the coolest chick ever. She liked me at first and I liked her at moments, but they would go away. So I respectfully refused her remained friends with her. She introduced me to cigarettes the summer before my Senior year. That same summer I started drinking and smoking bud. I was in love with it. I loved being drunk and I loved drunk people. I became much more social when I would drink. It was the greatest. I was having the time of my life…

It was our Senior year and we were the kings/queens of our school. Demyx had gotten back with Xaldin and I had had a few hookups, nothing serious. I wasn't taking relationships very serious at the moment. My new hobbies had become drinking, rolling, and smoking…a lot. I loved it all. Everyone always knew what we were up to and we couldn't care less.

We'd have sessions before school and after school. On the weekends we'd have parties at Xaldin's pad and get home past midnight. I became a troubled kid, says my family and Mexican relatives. No one at home liked me and thought I was a bum. It all continues on up to this day….except Demyx broke up with him again.

We were wacked out at the moment. Our jaws hurt from the night before and we were both troubled.

Demyx breathed heavily and held onto my shoulders as he was nearing his climax. Our naked bodies were now covered in sweat.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck as I reached my peak with my final thrust. His legs spasmed a bit he reached his peak as well.

We had sex.

Just sex.

No feelings involved; Just a plain old fuck.

AN: And so…I sort have an idea where I can take this story. It's at a crossroad right now. This is merely an intro and it WILL be an Axel and Roxas pairing story.

This story is being done with the help of my lovely friend Sharmander.

Enjoy&Review.