Alright. This is my first Repo! Genetic Opera fanfic. Now just to warn all you kiddies this is a Nathan/Shilo pairing. While I'm not a deeply decided shipper, I did decide to write this little ditty because there aren't many of them. I felt bad for the shippers. I know what it's ike to ship something that is hard to find... LMLD anyone? Frollo/Esmerlada? I mean come on! Also writing a horror/romance is a new for me so.... usually my romance finfic are light and fluffly, but since my Nathan and Shilo are more then a little crazy..... well what do you think it would be? Plus this pairing really expands my brian and allows me to right the dark and weird a little better. I'm into writing orginal story supernaturals/fansty. Which is while it takes me a while to update. That and my Buffy/Giles one is taking freaking forever. I will never do a total season rewrite again.
I really do love Nathan and I can't really write him loving anyone but Shilo in this way. Weird huh? I don't see him with Mag, she was Marni's best friend. I don't see him with Marni because she really wasn't in the movie long, and I don't see him with Amber cause.... well she belongs with Luigi, and she's a hoe, but I digress..... I could write a OCC character, but it wouldn't be as much fun and there would have to be a back story..... and this came to me in a dream. Sort of.
The only way I can see this happening though is if Nathan and Shilo were a bit....insane. Which Nathan is. I mean the man is one shi card of a full deck. So what if he has a mental illness..... and Shilo had it. What would it be like if she had a monster inside of her that was equal to Repo. And what would happen if both of their demons were drawn to one another. Dispite their better angels? Read and find out!
Nathan walked into the house and sat down in his customary chair. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't be repo. There were many of them, but none were as efficient as he was. Now they were more or less the cleanup crews. He was the main one. It was killing him. Looking at his watch he sighed and stood up. He had to check on Shilo.
A warm feeling spread from his stomach to the rest of his body, and he sighed with a warm smile on his face. When he was around Shilo, he sometimes felt content. Just to be near her presence was enough to bring peace to his entire being. He loved his daughter with ever fiber of his being. She was his light, his angel, and his precious.
Yet, even those times of contentment came with a price. A price that took ever thing he had to ignore. It was wrong. It was sick. But when he thought about it…. what was wrong in this world? He was a man who killed people, and it was legal. People changed their appearance like they changed clothing, and incest was no longer frowned upon. In fact, in some families it was embraced. They would even go, as far as to go to GenCo and have tests done to make sure that their child would be healthy. If they were not they were fixed. Every baby was perfect now.
Though he had to say, father daughter relations were still taboo.
Growling at him self he went up to make sure his Shilo was okay. Even if what he was feeling for his daughter was wrong. She would always be his. He was her father. He was the first man to ever really love her. That would never change, even if he decided to stop her treatments, this poisoning, and let her go. She would always be in some small way, his. That thought made him feel better.
Knocking on Shilo's door he waited until he heard the bed creak and pushed the door open. "Hey Shi."
"Hey dad," Shilo said not looking at her father. He wondered why?
"Is there something the matter precious?" Nathan asked as he came over and checked his Shilo's pulse. It always gave him a thrill when he was able to touch her. To show her that no matter what he would always be gentle with her. Always love her.
"No daddy," Shilo replied with a sigh. This bothered him. Shilo always told him everything.
"Shilo," Nathan said quietly, taking her hand, "You can always tell me anything. You know that don't you?"
Nathan looked into Shilo's eyes and sighed. No she didn't know that. He knew. He could see it in her eyes. What had he done wrong? Didn't he love her enough?
"Shi," Nathan whispered. It hurt that his daughter didn't trust him. God, and here he thought she was his. Damn, what had he done? Well he was just going to have to ask.
"What did I do?"
Shilo's eyes widened and she looked at her father…. Her Nathan? God that sounded wrong, yet it was true in so many ways. Today she had left the walls of her prison. Only to see that what she thought was a prison… was a safe house. Her father was right in keeping her here. That place was quite honestly, hell. She wanted to tell her father her revelation, but she was afraid of what he would do. She knew he would never hurt her, but he would never trust her again. That hurt. To not have her Nathan trust her was… well it was wrong.
Shilo swallowed and said, "You've done nothing wrong." She was silent. Then without a thought she wrapped her arms around her father and whispered, "It's me. I've been a bad girl."
Nathan couldn't hide that thrill that her words sent down his spine. The way she had said that… well it brought some nice images of her, beneath him, screaming. Shaking his head he pulled Shilo away from him and stood up. He looked at her while she kneeled on the bed. Holding her self. She looked so lost… so old for some reason. Then it clicked.
"You left the house today," Nathan's voice was flat.
"Yes," Shilo replied holding herself tighter.
Nathan turned away from his daughter. He just stared at the wall. Finally he asked, "Why?"
"I wanted to go outside," Shilo replied crying silently, "I wanted to see the world. I had to get away from this prison. This tomb"
"You wanted to be away from me," Nathan spat as he spun around. His eyes filled with hurt and shame, "Why don't you just admit it?'
Shilo closed her eyes and said, "Yes…. I wanted to be away from you."
Those words were like a slap to his face. He had done everything for his Shilo. Even became a monster so he could keep her away from Rotti… and this was how she repaid him? Suddenly he paled…. Maybe she knew. He was careful of locking his door at night, but…. Maybe she heard. Maybe she heard him screaming her name. Moaning it while he slept. Maybe she couldn't wait to get away from him, because he had shattered her trust in him. Oh god… what had he done to his little girl?
Nathan collapsed on his knees at this revelation. He couldn't believe what he had done. He couldn't help it. He was sick. It was the killer in him that thought this way. It was the monster in him that wanted to take Shilo for his. It wasn't the fatherly part of him. No it was his damn double personality. Nathan wanted nothing but to love her. Repo wanted nothing but to take her.
"Daddy," Shilo whispered as she hunkered down in front of him, "Oh daddy." Shilo wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, his forehead, and his nose. They were feather light kisses, butterfly kisses really. Nothing un daughterly, but she found herself unable to stop running her hands through his hair. She couldn't stop herself from kissing away his tears. Those tears tasted so good. She almost groaned.
"Stop Shilo," Nathan whispered half heartedly, "I'm not worth it. I've made you afraid of me. I've made you disgusted of me."
"What?" Shilo whispered making him look at her, "You have not."
Nathan just looked at her. His tears stopped and his voice went cold. Glaring at his daughter he asked, "Then why did you want to run from me?"
Shilo let go of Nathan and turned away. This was not going the way she wanted it. She just wanted to let him know that she no longer wanted to see the outside. She should have acted like nothing was wrong with her. Turning to face him she said, "Look… I don't hate you. You don't disgust me. I don't even know why you would think that. I just was tried of being stuck in here. I was mad at you for keeping me locked up in here without a reason."
"I had my reasons Shilo," Nathan began standing up and towering over his daughter. Shilo couldn't help but be amazed at his strength, his manliness.
"I know," Shilo replied, "I'm sick, but that couldn't stop you from taking me outside. I simply didn't understand."
"And I suppose you do now," Nathan scoffed, crossing his arms.
"Yes," Shilo whispered softly, "Daddy, that place is hell."
Nathan didn't say anything. He just stared at his daughter. So she saw it too? Suddenly he was afraid of what had happened to her. Pulling her toward him he whispered, "Did someone hurt you?"
"No," Shilo replied with a smile, "It was just scary."
Nathan nodded and smiled a little, but was she just saying that? He looked down at his daughter and stroked her hair. Suddenly he felt the need to hold his daughter as she really was. Silently he gently took off Shilo's hair and pitched it on the bed. Shilo gave him a questioning look, but Nathan just smiled and pulled her close. Stroking her baldhead. He stared at it, and he knew that it was his fault. He vowed to himself that he would just give her placebos from now on. She at least should be able to grow her own hair, even if he did enjoy the feel of her bald scalp.
"That feels good," Shilo sighed as she laid her head on her father's chest.
"I'm glad," Nathan muttered stroking the back of her head and then down to her neck. Shilo squirmed a little and Nathan stopped. She giggled a little and said, "It tickled, but please go on."
Nathan didn't think about where this would lead. He just did as she bid. It was nice to know that, if she wasn't lying to him, she wanted to stay with him. Sighing he laid his head on top of her own and just held her. Finally he heard her yawn and he said, "You should be in bed. You've had a big day."
"Yes," Shilo replied turning into a little girl again. Giving him a sweet smile she asked, "Will you sleep with me tonight?"
Nathan wanted to comfort his daughter, because she was his daughter. He knew that his demons would have nothing of it. If he were to stay in her room tonight, he was afraid of what he would do. After all, there was no one here to stop him. Pushing that thought away he smiled at Shilo and said, "I can't Shi. One of my patients was not doing well when my shift changed and I may be called back in. I don't want to disturb you. Besides I have some things that need to be done around the house before I sleep."
Shilo frowned in disappointment and nodded. Nathan hated seeing his precious so sad, but he knew that this was for the best. Giving her a smile he said, "When you wake up. We'll do something together. Would you like that precious?"
Shilo smiled happily and nodded. It had been a while since they had actually spent time together. Of course the thoughts that assailed her were not at all innocent, but she repressed them. She knew that her father would freak if she told him. Giving him her best smile she said, "That would be great dad. Now go on. I've got to sleep."
"Don't you want me to tuck you in?" Nathan asked. He felt funny if he didn't tuck his little girl in.
Shilo smiled at him and nodded. Once he was done Nathan kissed her forehead and said, "Sleep well Shi."
"If you get sleepy just climb on in," Shilo said with a smile.
Nathan smiled back and left the room. He closed the door, but he didn't lock it. He knew that she wouldn't go out. He should have known that to be wiry of the real world you had to experience it. Damn, he hated that she was in pain. Sighing he left her door and walked down the hall. He hated this damn hall. He hated it so much. Glaring at Marni's pictures Nathan suddenly had the urge to take them down. No one needed that many picture, and truthfully he had tortured himself so long that he forgot what she really looked like. All he could remember was what she looked like in death.
Stealing him self he gathered up a tote from the attic and took down all of her pictures. He then quietly walled up Marni's tomb. No one should be displayed in death, no one. His obsessed side was screaming at him for what he was doing, but he couldn't look at Marni anymore. He knew that Marni would want to hurt him for his impure thoughts. He knew that she would castrate him if she were here, yet he also knew that he wouldn't feel like this if she were here. He would be a normal father. He would never have been Repo. He would never have had to create his alternate personality, the one that wanted Shilo in the impure way. It was all he could do to control him sometimes, but his more loving side tempered his demons, thankfully.
He looked at the hallway and sighed. While it was no longer creepy, it wasn't happy either. Maybe Shilo could do something about that. Maybe he should let her remodel the entire house, but then another thought formed in his mind. Maybe they could run away from this dreadful city and out into the country. Maybe they could be free…maybe.
Shilo laid in bed and thought. She should have told him about Rotti. She didn't like Rotti. He gave her the creeps. The look he gave her was…. Wrong somehow. She didn't know how to explain it. It wasn't lustful, just greedy. She didn't like it, and she didn't like him. Maybe she should have told her father. Shilo shook her head and rolled over. Maybe they could leave this dreadful city. Graverobber would know the way out. If anyone did it would be him. Shilo sighed, and finally feel asleep. She wished her Nathan would hold her while she slept, but she understood…. His patients needed him.
Nathan heard a knock at the door and glared. He was in the middle of dusting and was unhappy about being interrupted. Wrenching the door open he found himself face to face with someone he had hoped never to see again.
"Hey brother," the man said as he walked in. He held Shilo's pack in his hands. Looking at his brother with contempt he snapped, "What are you doing here Gravel?'
"I saw your dear sweet Shilo today," Gravel replied, "And I told you not to call me Gravel. It's Graverobber now."
"Oh yes…. " Nathan sneered, "Just let everybody know what you do for a living."
"There is no shame in it brother," Graverobber replied rolling his eyes, "At least I don't kill people for a living."
Nathan was about to retort when his eyes widened and he side stepped Graverobber and practically ran to Shilo, "What are you doing out of bed precious? You've had a hard day, and you've only been asleep for an hour."
"Stop babying her Nathan," Graverobber snapped, "The girl has more grit then you think she does."
Nathan whirled around and his eyes narrowed. No one told him how to care for HIS daughter. He took measured steps over to his brother and Graverobber took an involuntary step back. He looked afraid. He hated being afraid of his own brother.
"And prey tell how would you know?" Nathan snapped. It took all he had not to slide the knife he had in his jacket pocket and gut Gravel.
"Because I saved her," Graverobber replied, "Twice."
Nathan didn't say anything. He was breathing heavily, and he did not care that Shilo was there. That Shilo would see his inner self. He was pissed and he didn't care who knew.
Shilo for her most part was completely surprised, and especially turned on. She couldn't help but see him advance on her like that. Pin her to the wall, and have his way with her. She could see, and damn! She liked that idea. God was she sick.
She hid her emotions and stepped toward he father saying, "Daddy, it's okay. I know him."
Nathan stood up straight and turned to glare at his daughter, "How?"
Finally the story poured from her lips. Everything from Rotti kidnapping her to finding out that Blind Mag would be killed for her eyes. When she was finished Shilo said, "I'm so sorry daddy."
Nathan didn't say anything. Mag had seen her. Great, just freaking great. He didn't know what to do and he didn't trust his brother as far as he could throw him. Glaring at his brother he took Shilo's bag and said roughly, "Get out Gravel."
Looking at Shilo he said, "You going to be alright kid?"
Shilo just smiled, a little sadly, but she smiled, "I'll be just fine Graverobber."
Giving Nathan a smirk Graverobber said, "It's Uncle Graverobber," then he was gone.
The house was silent for a moment. There wasn't even a mouse making a noise. The house was dead. Finally Shilo said, "I noticed that you took mom's pictures down. The hall looks better."
"I wanted it to be our project," Nathan replied hoarsely, "I guess you don't care."
"Of course I care," Shilo said giving her father a look of concern, "Why would you think that?"
"You have Rotti now," Nathan spat.
"Daddy I don't like Rotti," Shilo replied starting to cry, "I love you."
Nathan didn't say anything. He couldn't. Not with Repo so close to the service.
"Daddy speak to me," Shilo said. She had never been so worried in her life. Of course there hadn't been anything to really worry about.
"I…can't," Nathan replied deflating. He wanted to be mad at Shilo. He really did, but…. He couldn't. He could only be hurt that she went away with Rotti. She had kept something from him, but he was keeping things from her. His secrets were worse.
"Don't you love me?" Shilo asked quietly.
"Of course I love you," Nathan said taking a tentative step toward Shilo.
"Then say something," Shilo demanded.
"What do you want me to say?" Nathan asked, taking another tentative step toward her.
"That you forgive me," Shilo said just watching as he slowly walked toward her, "That you understand. That you trust me." Shilo was quite for a moment, "That you love me."
Nathan looked at Shilo. He wanted to do it, but he was afraid that she would detect his infatuation.
"Daddy," Shilo murmured, "Please daddy. I need you."
Still he did not come. Shilo finally burst into tears and ran up the stairs. Nathan hung his head. He should run after her, but now Rotti was calling him. He had to go to work. Following his daughter upstairs he knocked on her door. She did not answer. Finally he said, "I have to go to work precious. I'll be back!"
Shilo made no answer, and Nathan felt like he had lost something.
So what do you think? Should I keep going? I need at least one review to know that someone is really reading and wants me to go on. I'll keep writing this for myself, but I need to know weither I should post it or not.