They sat there quietly eating lunch. They didn't really talk anymore. As far as the cases went they didn't need to anymore. They knew what the other was thinking. They were connected, but at the same time they were so disconnected. Finally the silence and blank stares prove too much. Olivia decides to put an end to the silence.
"So how's the baby?"
"He's fine," he manages to say between bites.
"How are the other kids?"
"Good,"
"And Kathy?"
"Fine,"
"Are you ok?" she questions.
"I'm fine why?"
"Because you're not acting like yourself,"
"What do you mean?"
"You're just being really quiet," she points out.
"I'm just tired," he makes up and excuse.
"Oh," she says solemnly as she stares into her salad.
They finish their meal and head their separate ways since they had just closed their latest case and they hadn't slept in days. He had left before her. As she's leaving the table she finds his phone laying on the seat. She grabs it and tries to catch him but he's already gone. She decides to drop it off it at his house. When she pulls up to the house she's finds herself filled with dread. She steps out of the vehicle and walks up a few stares and then arrives at the door of the house. She can hear voices of some of the kids, and of course Kathy. She takes a deep breath, and then knocks. She hears footsteps, and then the door swings open. She freezes when she sees Kathy standing in front of her with Eli in her arms.
"Hi," Olivia says awkwardly.
"Do you need something?" Kathy asks trying not to sound cold.
"I just wanted to bring Elliot his cell phone he forgot it earlier,"
"Oh. He's not here,"
"Can you give it to him?" she asks.
"You don't know,"
"Don't know what?" Olivia answers.
"I guess he didn't tell you,"
"Tell me what?"
"That I asked him to move out,"
"Oh. Do you know where he's staying?"
"No. He left yesterday,"
"I know it's not really any of my business but why did you ask him to move out?"
"He doesn't want to be in this marriage anymore. I've known it for a while, and I thought that things would change when Eli was born, but they didn't. He only came back out of obligation to the kids. He thought that he should come back for me, that it was the right thing to do. I just couldn't live the lie anymore. He wanted out, and so did I, but I knew that he would never ask, so I did,"
"Oh,"
"So how are the kids taking it?"
"They want us to be happy, even if we aren't together,"
"And what about this little guy?" Olivia asks as she tickles the bottom of Eli's un-socked foot.
"I think that he misses him, but Elliot knows all he has to do is call and he can have him any time,"
"Well I guess I'll get going then," she says.
"Bye," Kathy tells her. Eli waves his chubby little hand at her as she walks away.
Olivia rides back to the precinct with a guess that he'd be there. She walks in and finds him sitting at his desk.
"Why are you still here?" she questions.
"Doing some paperwork,"
"When you could be home with your kids?"
"I just want to get it done,"
"You left your phone," she tells him as she offers it to him.
"Thanks," he says back as he takes it from her.
"Why don't you go home and grab a few winks?"
"It's too noisy at home, I'll probably just go to the cribs when I get tired,"
"Elliot you're exhausted,"
"I'm fine," he insists.
"No you're not. I tried to drop your phone off at your house. When I stopped by Kathy told me that you moved out,"
"So?"
"So where are you staying?"
"I..."
"You can't stay here. You need some rest,"
"Where do you suggest I go? My wife just kicked me out of my house, the one I paid for," he flares his nostrils in anger as he talks.
"Why don't you come home with me. It's quiet and you can stay as long as you need,"
"I don't want to put you out,"
"Elliot I insist," she tells him.
"Fine," he sighs.
When they get to her house she immediately jumps in the shower to clean some of the scum off of her. When she gets out of the shower she finds him passed out on the couch. She throws a blanket over him, and then goes into her room for some sleep. When she wakes up she finds him quietly watching t.v. She sits down beside him.
"Feel better?" she asks.
"Some," he says.
"Elliot why do we do this?"
"Do what?"
"Let all of our relationships fall apart,"
"We don't. We're still together," he jokes.
"Don't you ever wonder if we weren't partners if our other relationships would hold up?"
"I don't know why?"
"Why do we have to be miserable?"
"Because our job takes so much out of us,"
"That's true but it's a pretty crappy reason," she points out.
"Liv I don't want to talk about it,"
"Well I'm tired of not talking about it,"
"What more is there to talk about?" he raises his voice.
"Why can't we make any other relationships work?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Liv,"
"Why do you dread going home?"
"Because it's loud,"
"That's a load of bull and you know it,"
"Because I know that as soon as I get home Kathy is going to bitch at me for something. But I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore. Why didn't you and Porter work out, or that other guy?"
"Because I can only be in relationship for so long before I decide that they just aren't right for me, and I'm just wasting my time,"
"I understand,"
"Why can't you stand your wife for two seconds, but you can put up with me for three days straight?"
"Because she's no you,"
"What's that mean?"
"You just accept who I am, you understand me, and she just doesn't. I feel like after nearly a quarter of a century of being married to me she knows me less now than she did when we got married,"
"You could work it out,"
"No I can't. I've tried so many times, and it's never enough. There's always something to fight about. And she always brings it back to you,"
"Does she know something that we don't?"
"I don't know maybe. She insists that I'm in love with you,"
"But you aren't right?"
He hesitates and then answers, "What do you think."
"No wonder she doesn't believe you. What do you tell her,"
"I don't know,"
"I'll pretend to be her,"
"Ok," he rolls his eyes.
"Are you in love with Olivia?"
"Kathy I'll tell you the same thing I've told you the last hundred times you've asked. She's my partner, and nothing more,"
"But you really didn't answer the question did you?"
"I did,"
"No you didn't. She knows that we're partners,"
"I know,"
"Maybe you're giving her a reason to doubt you,"
"This is stupid," he tells her.
"What?"
"You pretending like you don't care one way or another,"
"I'm not," she tells him.
"Liv drop the act. I know you. I know when you put on that face,"
"What face?" she questions.
"The one where you pretend that it doesn't bother you, but it does. Why don't you just tell me what you think,"
"I don't know if you really want to go there Elliot,"
"I'm ready,"
"I think that you were stupid to go back to her. Everyone, including you knew that it wasn't going to work out. I don't know why you went back. I mean the baby was a stupid reason, because you're his father whether or not you're with his mother. I feel like you want to be miserable. She finds something wrong with everything you do. Why would you stay with someone who treats you like that?"
"I don't know. I guess because I always hoped it would be the way it was. The way it was when we first got married and we were young, and we were struggling but we were happy, and we were in love,"
"Do you still love her?"
"I haven't love her in a long time. That went away a long time ago. I'm grateful to her for giving me five beautiful kids, and I love her for that, but I don't love her anymore, not like I used to,"
"Why did you stay?"
"Because I did what I thought was right,"
"Why can't you just do what you want for once instead of caring if it's right or not. Who decides that anyway?"
"I don't know,"
"Can't you just do what you're feeling just once? Just turn off your brain for a second and let your heart give you some cues,"
"I can try," he tells her.
"I'll believe it when I see it," she tells him as she gets up to walk away.
He grabs her hand and pulls her back.
"What?" she asks standing over him.
He stand up and looks deep into her eyes. He cups her face in his hand and just goes for it. What he does surprises her but it relieves her too. When his lips finally meet hers it becomes so clear. Finally all the lines are crossed, the guards are down, and right doesn't matter so much anymore. And in that moment they finally become what they were always meant to be, more than just partners.