The Twelve Days of C&C: A Spoof
How this Rolls: What can I say, a C&C Song fic spoof for the holidays. Lyrics are as you normally hear them. Anything in parentheses is any other lines said by the unit either overriding or alongside the lyrics, said as in-game or with the same voices. Imagine the units are singing their parts too for extra lulz (Insert CABAL or EVA for buildings). You know how the song goes, I just wish I could type it that way, lol.
And so, without further ado, the Twelve Days (or Battles) of Command and Conquer
XXX
On the First day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
A brand new MCV. ("Construction Complete!")
XX
On the Second day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Two Kodiaks(They still there?)
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Third day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Three Stealth Tanks (Sshhhhhh!)
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Fourth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Four Mastodons (Almost there...)
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Fifth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me... (OH I know where this is going...)
FIVE... MAMMOTH TANKS! (Roll over them!)
Four Mastodons
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Sixth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Six Obelisks (Humm... pew)
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS!
Four Mastodons
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Seventh day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Seven Flame Tanks flaming (Burn... BURN!)
Six Obelisks
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS
Four Mastodons
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Eighth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Eight Ion Cannons(Ion Cannon Ready!)
Seven Flame Tanks flaming
Six Obelisks
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS (Back ta Base!)
Four Mastodons
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Ninth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
NineBikers biking (HahaYEAH!)
Eight Ion Cannons
Seven Flame Tanks flaming
Six Obelisks
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS
Four Mastodons
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Tenth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Ten Tit-tans. (Titan ready!)
Nine Bikers biking
Eight Ion Cannons
(The singing BURNS!)
Six Obelisks
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS (More like the twelve decades of C&C!)
Four Mastodons (Eliminate it!)
Three Stealth Tanks (Hit it! Hurry!)
Two Kodiaks
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Eleventh day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Eleven Cyborgs gunning (Listen to the sounds of your own extinction!)
Ten Titans(Steel Talons don't retreat!)
Nine Bikers biking
Eight Ion Cannons
Seven Flame Tanksflaming (Burn the heretics! NOW!)
Six Obelisks
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS
Four Mastodons (WHAT? RETURN FIRE!)
Three Stealth Tanks
Two Kodiaks (We're under attack?)
And a brand new MCV!
XX
On the Twelfth day of Christmas, Westwood gave to me...
Twelve Gamers gaming (Hax!)
Eleven Cyborgs gunning (Prepare for the final sweep!)
Ten- (Ground and pound!)
Nine Bikers bike- (Let's go!)
Eight Ion Cannons (Ion Cannon Activated)
Sev- (Burn them! Burn them!)
Six Obelisk- (Zap)
FIVE MAMMOTH TANKS! (Take 'em down!)
Four Mastodons(This little uprising won't go unnoticed!)
Three Stealth Tanks (Hurry before they retaliate!)
Two Kodiaks (Spill on aisle twelve!)
And a brand new M.C.V.
XX
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One Song Later...
Mammoth Tank: "Glad that's over!"
CABAL: "The chances of a favorable outcome..."
EVA: "Unit Lost."
Titan: "Who spiked the [bleep] Eggnog?"
Wolverine: "I think I wet my suit watching that..."
Stealth Tank: "I just hope the audience didn't see us..."
Tick Tank: "If Slavik saw that..."
Attack Buggy: "Least we didn't get beat by a cheerleader and her slacker boyfriend..."
Kodiak: "That'd of been less humiliating than this... atrocity! THIS was just embarrassing!"
CABAL: "... they all DIE!"
Medic: "Can't cure stupid..."
Titan: "Next holiday season we pound this Luke Danger guy into the ground..."
Mammoth Tank: "Roll over 'im! He writes horrible fanfics!"
Stealth Tank: "Get the rockets ready! Retake C&C!"
CABAL: "By the way...missile launch detected! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kodiak: "Finish him off! No Crossovers!"
HAVOC: "This'll be left-handed." [pistol cock]
C&C
C&C
Luke Danger: I should probably sign off now... I've offended them!
C&C
C&C
Happy Holidays everyone, here's a little holiday treat. Did it during school. Originally had "Disruptors" instead of gamers, but that works. Probably sounds a lot funnier if you heard Blizzard's The Twelve Days of Starcraft, which is where I got the inspiration for this.