So I'm extremely late, we all know that, excuses are pointless. I had a very hectic weekend, but here we are now and that's what counts, right? Here we have the first in this latest set of AUs. It will have two chapters only and the second is coming in a little less than two weeks (I'm not promising a day anymore, only that it'll be in the weekend). Now, while this is an AU, it can be read as a STAND ALONE, just so you all know.
For those reading the fic as a Stand Alone just know that these stories circle around the idea of Loki having a soulmate referred as either Silbhé or Nightingale. This fic also draws from background that has been established in other stories, mainly Nightingale's past life as described in "Necklace of Songs" and Helena's own background as is told in "Ethereal Gift" though you don't actually need to read those to understand the idea, I don't think.
DreamCast: Silbhé/Nightingale as always, is played by Emily Browning, Helena by Katie McGrath, Kathryn by Kristin Scott Thomas, Sachiko by Sophie Oda, Tamara Walker by Jane Seymour.
One thing I need to point out, to those familiar with the basics of this series is that, while Loki and Nightingale have always been connected in a way (being a fated match and all) in this particular AU they did not meet when Silbhé was a child, and that's one of the reasons things are different in this. Also, for the purpose of this particular story, the events of Doctor Strange took place from January of 2010 to January of 2011, instead of the same months between 2016 and 2017 (as they do in most of my stories).
Also, unlike most of my fics in this series, this one is completely in 3rd Person, please keep that in mind.
The songs in these are: "Who Wants to Live Forever", I highly recommend Katherine Jenkins cover to get an idea of how it sounds when sung by Helena; and "Memories" as sung by Within Temptation (imagine it only with piano); I would also recommend going through some piano-only renditions of the same song to get a better idea of how things sound during a certain scene near the end of the chapter.
And having said all that, on with the chapter!
Mystic Bonds
(Alternative Universe to Nightingale)
By: Lalaith Quetzalli
A bird with no song, a doctor without hands, the light of hope and the master of chaos, they've all chosen to walk new, harder, paths to protect the world, paths that will lead them to unexpected people and unforeseen places. When the Guardians come together, much will change, and Fate itself might have to be rewritten...
Melody
Music is a language understood by all, even those who cannot speak it.
Consciousness came to Helena slowly at first, and then, as her brain processed the fact that she wasn't in the place she'd called home for the last number of years (a great many years for sure), her instincts kicked in and she was fully awake in seconds. She discovered what it was that had woken her up so abruptly just a moment later: it was her father. Laying on the bed beside the armchair where she had fallen asleep the night before (or had it been earlier that day? She just wasn't sure, time didn't have the same meaning in a realm like Helheim as it did in those of the living; and in the Abyss... well, she wasn't sure time as such actually existed there). He was asleep, but not really resting, she could see the way his body kept shifting, his moves more frequent and sharper every moment; that was what woke her up. He was probably having a nightmare, not surprising really, all things considered... after all, it was not every day that one died...
It was one of the worst things Helena had ever witnessed, one she wished with all her soul had never happened, and yet it had been beyond her. At least he was alive, at least this time she was able to save the life of one of her parents... and that was one thing she'd definitely rather not think about. Still, she couldn't help but think back to the moment where she found her father: body bruised and broken, mind almost shattered, he'd been unconscious, not quite breathing, his heart barely beating at all. It would have been so easy... so terribly, horribly easy, to just let him go. A part of Helena couldn't help but wonder if he'd have preferred that. And yet she couldn't do it, couldn't stand back and let him die. She'd already failed at protecting Mama, she couldn't lose him too... she wouldn't! It might make her selfish, but she just couldn't take another loss...
There were muffled noises outside the room they were in. Only to be expected, after all, they weren't the only inhabitants of the house (manor, more like). Helena still didn't know what had prompted their hosts to take them in, to aid them... she knew the picture they'd made, with her Father's body broken in ways that were impossible to hide, even with magic, and her... it'd taken so much of her own power to keep him among the living she had had nothing left to put into her own glamour, and she knew the deep scars covering about half of her body must have been far more shocking than the dirt, grime and even blood staining her clothes (which, being black and of stern cloth, made such things less obvious, for the most part). Yet no comment was ever made, about her appearance, or the scars, their hosts had offered a room with an en-suite bathroom, help to bathe her unconscious father, and even a change of clothes, promising to get someone to see to their own. (And they had, Helena eventually realized, their clothes had been cleaned, mended and piled on a table, a tray with tea and toast beside it, both under a spell to keep them warm).
The woman's mind kept running in circles, trying to understand what was going on. The day before (or earlier that day, whatever) she'd been too exhausted, too weary to think much on it, but it couldn't be normal, for people to take complete strangers in. Fortunate as they might have been... Helena couldn't help but think she was missing something. Of course, that could be her own shock talking, the shock she had been unable to fully push aside since first laying eyes on one of her hosts...
"Stephanos..." The name escaped her lips without her being quite conscious of it.
It wasn't obvious at first sight, it wouldn't be. He looked nothing like any of the past incarnations of her match; but then that was pretty normal, new bodies and all that. But the eyes... those never changed, no matter how many years, lifetimes and even worlds passed. And Stephanos had always had very particular eyes, a mix of blue, green and a small hint of gold... they'd always fascinated her. Sure as she was that no one else in the whole universe could possibly have such eyes... Which was why there was no doubt in her, the moment she saw him: Doctor Stephen Strange, that was how he'd introduced himself, he was a Master of the Mystic Arts and in charge of the New York Sanctum. He was Stephanos's reincarnation, her match's reincarnation... and he probably had no idea.
It hadn't always been like that, of course not. For many years (thousands upon thousands) the two of them had gone through lives and worlds together, as matches ought to. It got harder the more time that passed, to the point where they wouldn't always meet, and even when they did, they weren't always together. Midgard's medieval era was the worst, as far as she was concerned, so few opportunities, the few with power always forcing their will upon those who had less... at least she didn't always have to be human. Though even then, most beings had their own limitations and rules. Also, mortal creatures couldn't process the kind of knowledge other beings possessed, especially where it came to matters like life, death, reincarnation, eternity... meaning that, in life she hardly ever remember who she'd once been, remember Stephanos. If they happened to meet, and if magic was involved (which, to be fair, most of the time it was) that could help. But they had spent more than a few lives apart, almost always having never met each other, having been ignorant to the fact that there was someone, anyone, subconsciously waiting for them.
That had all changed upon her becoming the person she was in that moment: Helena, daughter of Loki, second prince of Asgard, and Tinúviel, princess of Alfheim and Asgard (and whom no one outside of Alfheim but Helena herself even remembered had ever existed... it was a long story). Being Helena had brought many things to her, both good and bad. She had had a family, a family that had loved her more than any other she could remember, in all her lives... a family that had fallen apart upon the death of her Nana (elvish for mom) and her unborn sister almost nine centuries prior. The loss had driven her Papa more than a little insane, he'd grown despondent and self-destructive; which was actually normal for a matched pair, the loss of their other half caused them, if not outright death, at least a wish for it. Helena knew all of that, of course she did, Nana had warned her about it and yet... she just loved her Papa too much to give him up.
Looking at Loki laying on that bed, moves becoming more frantic in the midst of dreams, possibly even nightmares, Helena could only wonder if her selfish desire to keep her Papa with her hadn't made things worse for him. Who knows? Perhaps if she'd let him go he might have been able to find Nana, they might have been together again... Of course Stephanos was the reason behind such line of thought. As a goddess (or, a half-Ljósálfar, half-Jotun) Helena's life-expectancy was measured in millennia (an average of five), which was much longer than almost any other race in the galaxy. Ever since becoming Queen of Helheim, she'd managed to meet a few of Stephanos incarnations, short reunions as he passed through her realm between the end of one life and the beginning of the next. She'd even used magic to look in on him sometimes. Not during his latest life, though.
She wasn't sure what had happened exactly, but something had made her Papa become almost frantic in the last twenty years or so. It worried her, enough that she stopped looking for Stephanos, deciding one mortal life would make no difference... of course when she decided that she wasn't expecting to come face to face with him later on!
Helena had been despairing ever since learning of her Father's fall off the Rainbow Bridge. And when learning of the circumstances surrounding such tragedy... Well, she and Uncle Thor had certainly had words. The worst of all was seeing how little most of the Aesir seemed to care about what had happened to Loki. Only Grandmother Frigg seemed to honestly mourn him; and yet that, right there, was a problem too, for she'd already given up on him. Helena would never do that. She might have been too young, when Nana was lost to them, too young and not experienced enough to save her, to fight Amora... but nearly nine hundred years had passed since; Helena's power had grown, and so had her will.
It took her months, but eventually she caught a trace of her Papa's essence, in the Abyss of all places! It was six months after his fall from Asgard that she finally found him, body broken, mind nearly shattered; it had almost been too late. She managed to stabilize him enough to be sure he'd live, and then... then she'd sensed the approach of darkness, an enemy far too strong for her. She did all she could think of, holding her Father tightly and diving into the Shadow Plane, moving as fast as she could, as far from the encroaching darkness as was possible.
She must have been more exhausted than she thought, for she couldn't control the moment they dropped out of the Shadow Paths, and straight into Midgard. To the foyer of a grand mansion... the magic surrounding them completely different from theirs, yet still strong enough that Helena took notice of it, and of the humans rushing to them, some of them conjuring weapons as they went, probably startled at their sudden appearance.
The unexpected stand-off had been broken as fast as it had come, by a shrill whistle, one that sounded almost like an off-tune bird. And a moment later a relatively short figure was rushing to them. A young looking woman, considerably shorter than both her and Loki, wearing a square-necked, long-sleeved, floor-length mauve colored dress with a slit on the front, the lower half, gray leggings and leather boots underneath. Upon closer inspection Helena had also been able to notice that she looked young, late teens most likely, her hair was a dark auburn, which curled slightly near the tips and reached to her shoulder-blades, and her eyes looked odd, like they constantly changed between brown and green...
The girl waved her hand above her head, and then there he was. Standing tall and imposing, in a set of robes that mixed a dark, earthly-brown with the dark-blue of a clear-night-sky, leather boots on his feet, thick yellow gloves on his hands and a regal-looking dark-red cloak on his shoulders. The first thing that hit her was that she recognized that cloak, she'd commissioned it herself from the last known member of the Miller's Clan, a gift for Stephanos's then-incarnation to pass onto his protege, a young would-be King of the Britons (who'd gone on to become such a legend mortals in the modern age could not seem to decide if he'd been real or not... then again, they regarded Stephanos's and her own incarnation from that time in the same way...).
He introduced himself as Doctor Stephen Strange, Master of the NY Sanctum; he was also the one who introduced the girl still doing her best to help Loki, using mundane medicine rather than magic for some odd reason, she was his assistant: Silbhé Salani.
Helena didn't quite realize who he was, until he looked straight at her, and then she saw his eyes, the shock was so great she couldn't quite tell what happened afterwards; only that she and Loki somehow ended receiving the help they so sorely needed.
And there they were, hours (a day?) later. And she still hadn't the slightest idea of what exactly had made Strange decide to help them at all. She knew she'd need to ask him that, as well as warn him of the possible consequences; Asgard was unlikely to know what had happened just yet, but they would not remain ignorant forever. She had no idea how to have any conversation with him without giving away what she knew of his soul; and how would he even believe her if she told him?!
In any case, Helena didn't get the chance to twist herself any more into knots, for just a moment later her thoughts were interrupted as Loki sat up abruptly, gesturing so violently that he'd have probably destroyed something if he weren't so drained that nothing more than green sparks appeared at his fingertips; though the most shocking perhaps was the soul-rending cry that left his lips right then:
"TINÚVIEL!"
xXx
Stephen Strange was pacing, pointless as he knew the whole endeavor was, he just couldn't help himself. He'd been pacing for hours, the reasons, surprisingly enough weren't the two unexpected visitors staying in one of the guests suites; at least not directly. While he had no way of explaining it to anyone other than Silbhé, as no one but she and perhaps his apprentice, Sachiko, would believe him, much less understand his reasoning, he trusted them. Or at least he trusted her, Elaine... he'd no idea what name she might have in her latest life, his memories hadn't settled enough for that just yet, but he knew who she'd been, especially who she'd been for him, his match, his Elaine, the light of his life, the love of his existence, the other half of his soul...
Stephen's story began almost two years earlier... well, actually it began much earlier than that, he was thirty-four years old, after all. But his old life wasn't something he liked to ponder much on anymore. Once he'd been Doctor Strange, the most talented neurosurgeon in the world (he'd also been a world-class bastard, one needed only ask anyone who'd known him...); he had money, fame, people approaching him to sing him praises, to ask for his advice, his assistance, to beg him to take cases... and he had been so good he could turn them away whenever he chose to, whenever their cases weren't good enough, or there was risk he would fail, he refused to allow anything that might break his perfect record. He hadn't understood how awful a person he truly was...
And then the accident, that terrible, horrible accident. His hands damaged in every way they could be. The doctor became the patient, and then he was the one begging for others to take his case, and being turned down and away for the very same reasons he'd once turned away to many others. Those who treated him managed to save his life, which was certainly commendable (even though, at the time, he failed to see even that), but they couldn't save his hands, leaving him with serious nerve damage which caused intermittent tremors and chronic pain. Later on a surgery had managed to treat the pain, at least partially, enough for him to have a life at the very least, but part of it was still there, as were the tremors...
And yet, as bad as the accident might have been, and the months that followed it, in the end it was the start of a whole new life. Cliche as that might sound; a life that ended giving him so much more than he ever could have asked for, than he ever knew he needed.
When Western medicine proved not to be enough for him, he'd begun looking for alternatives. One of the nurses who worked with him on his PT had directed him to a man called Johnathan Pangborn, who'd become quadriplejic years prior in an accident, a man for whom no doctors had been able to do anything at all... a man who was somehow able to walk again. Strange wanted that too. So he sought the man, and then followed his directions to the other side of the world, to Kathmandú, Nepal. Selling almost everything he'd left (almost everything he hadn't already sold and pawned to finance a number of experimental treatments and drugs, none of which really worked), leaving his old life behind. It wasn't easy, not finding the place, Kamar-Taj, and especially not convincing the one in charge of it, to take him on. The Ancient One hadn't believed in him, not at first; Stephen is quite sure that if it hadn't been for Karl Mordo, his life would have probably ended that way. He'd been on the streets, with no money left, no home, no friends and hardly anything to eat... yeah, he wouldn't have lasted long.
But Karl had seen something in him, he'd convinced the Ancient One to take him as a student. And it was there he met her: Silbhé Salani. So young, one of the acolytes, or so the Ancient One called her. Stephen just thought it was an elegant way of saying servants. He knew that, before the accident, he'd never have looked at her twice; but right then he did. He wasn't attracted to her, not at all, and not only because she was so young compared to him (15 years younger) no, there was something about her, about her kindness, her compassion, that drew him in. Even when he lashed at her (he lashed at everyone), she never stopped smiling softly, never stopped trying to help.
Every night after training she'd look after whatever injuries he might have acquired during the day (she knew Stephen would never go to the infirmary), she also treated his hands with all sorts of herbal mixes, doing her best to lessen the tremors and the pain (some of her mixtures actually worked, at least enough to allow him a night's rest, something that had seemed impossible once). She never saw him as less, as damaged; even argued with those who might imply it. At first the doctor-turned-sorcerer had thought it was naivete, she was too young to understand the harsh reality of the world... and then he learned more about her:
"I have cancer." She told him one day. "Leukemia. It should have killed me years ago, yet it didn't. Wanna know why? Because I didn't let it. Doctors told me I didn't stand a chance, but this is my life, not theirs, I'm not the kind to just lay down and let death have me. When she does come for me, I won't be making it easy, I won't be going without a hell of a fight."
Even then Stephen had thought the words were the ramblings of a little girl. And then he met Kathryn. The woman was the chief nurse in Kamar-Taj, an actual nurse, rather than a healer. She was also Silbhé's aunt, and the reason the two of them lived in Kamar-Taj. She'd told him part of their story, even showed him a copy she kept of Silbhé's medical records. The girl had really had blood cancer, technically she still did. She'd been sick as a young child, then gone into remission, and then it'd gotten bad again, worse than before. Even the harshest treatments wouldn't have given her more than a few months, perhaps a year. But Kathryn Salani wasn't the kind of woman who gave up, she was willing to do anything to save Silbhé, the only family she'd left. And so they'd ended in Kamar-Taj (it kind of reminded Stephen of his own journey).
The thing was, the Ancient One couldn't heal, not really. And the things some people, like Johnathan Pangborn did, to channel dimensional energy in order to bypass his injury, didn't work for her. And not only because her sickness was worse than broken bones could ever be, it was also the fact that Silbhé simply couldn't use magic. No one knew why exactly. Her body simply rejected it. The Ancient One had tried to teach her, but it never took. So in the end they'd gone a different way: indenture. Silbhé had signed a contract, a magical contract, to serve the Ancient One, and the Mystic Order, in exchange, she got to live, the magic allowed her to survive even with the cancer in her blood. Magic could at least do that much for her. It was why she was an acolyte, why she'd been serving for more than five years and wouldn't leave. Most of the acolytes only stayed as such until they could become sorcerers, or were ready to get back on their feet and make a life for themselves; Silbhé was unlikely to ever leave, not when her life depended on it. And yet she didn't see it as a burden; in her own words, she loved being in Kamar-Taj, being able to help people... it might not be the life she'd once dreamed of, but it was one she enjoyed nonetheless.
Of course that was before their whole lives spun out of control. Kaecilius and his zealots, the destruction of the London sanctuary, his unintended trip to the NY Sanctum, the battle in the Mirror Dimension, the Ancient One's death, the council of war, the mess in Hong Kong, and of course the thrice-damned bargaining with Dormammu...
The quiet sound of a door opening and then closing very softly pulled Stephen abruptly out of his musings. He spun around to see Kathryn standing just outside her niece's bedroom. He didn't even need to ask any questions, she knew what he was thinking, even without any magic:
"The same still." She murmured, voice betraying the degree of her stress. "She sleeps but she's obviously not resting, muttering broken phrases and words in a mix of languages, some I wasn't aware she knew... some I had no idea existed even."
English, Old English, Gaelic, Norse, what might be Ancient Norse, some old form of Arabic and a liquid language that sounded a bit like Gaelic, but not quite. At least to his last count. It didn't really surprise him, the thing in Hong Kong hadn't just changed him, she too had come out differently on the other side. Even if she hadn't been there with him, for the confrontation with Dormammu, she had insisted on being in Hong Kong, on doing anything she could to help... even when so many of the Order saw her as nothing more than a servant, as less for not being able to wield magic... she still wanted to help them. Stephen spent many, many nights castigating himself for giving in, for taking her along... she had almost died! For all intents and purposes she did die, was only alive due to his own actions, to the Eye of Agamotto... and even then, even when her death had technically never happened, because he had turned back time to make it so... somehow it'd still changed her, in ways even he, with all the ways his dozens (hundreds) of deaths in that accursed time-loop had changed him, couldn't fully understand. And it wasn't just because she told him so little about what was really going on inside her head.
Silbhé was holding back, from him and Kathryn and, Stephen was beginning to suspect that even from herself... something told him she wouldn't be able to continue that for much longer.
"TINÚVIEL!"
The cry broke the silence with the same finality as a stone shattering glass; but before either Kathryn or Stephen could so much as think about moving, another cry, one that was soundless, and somehow all the more blood-freezing for it, made them turn the opposite way.
Neither of them needed to think about it, in less than two heartbeats they were inside Silbhé's chambers. She was there, sitting on her bed, eyes shut tightly and mouth wide open in a voiceless scream... one that couldn't be heard with ears, but was still echoing on a psychic level, and probably would for a long time yet.
xXx
Loki was barely beginning to calm down, with a lot of help from Helena. And wasn't that the worst joke in the universe? For centuries her mere presence had hurt him, a reminder of the fallen princess, the dead wife, the perfect match he'd been made to forget, in the hope that taking away the loss would somehow heal the void... it hadn't, but it had allowed everyone to ignore it, at least whenever Helena wasn't around to unwittingly remind him that something was missing. Which was how they came to the worst joke in the universe, because in that moment that reminder was the only thing that managed to calm Loki whenever the sharp, jagged edges of long lost memories threatened to swallow him whole.
It was a consequence of nearly dying (or really dying, he'd been dead, for all intents and purposes, until Helena forcefully pulled him back to the living). The magic that had once blocked all the memories that someone called Tinúviel had ever existed were unraveling, faster and faster with every heartbeat. Forcing Loki to deal with his recent near-death experience, the loss of his wife and the loss and return of those memories, all at the same time. Just one of those things would be enough to take almost anyone out, it had almost been enough to make Helena go crazy, when first getting back her own memories, about Stephanos, and about Elaine (about herself, her past selves); and yet he was dealing, he was holding on, to his sanity, to his daughter, to all he'd left of the one woman he'd loved more than his own life...
The sorcerer had managed to stop trembling when the door abruptly opened, allowing in one of their hosts. Dr. Strange (Stephanos) in his brown and blue tunic, red cloak wiping even without a breeze on his shoulders. Except there was no compassion, no acceptance, not even reluctant welcoming, no, instead there was stoicism, coldness, an unmovable stone. Helena had no idea what kind of switch had been flipped, but suspected there was something they were missing. She'd briefly (and vaguely) sensed something earlier, around the same time her Papa had woken... but he'd been her priority, and whatever had happened, she'd been able to understand what it was; not surprising, considering all the shields a place like the Sanctum must be covered in.
"Dr. Strange..." Loki murmured, voice a bit hoarse (and Helena so did not want to think about why he sounded like that... the thought of her Ada screaming himself hoarse... it was almost too much even for her). "I understand my daughter and I owe our current state of being to your kindness and hospitality. You have my sincere gratitude."
They were practiced words, the kind one would expect from a well-trained diplomat, but Helena could also sense the undercurrent of sincerity... she hoped Dr. Strange could as well. If he did, it did not change his stance any.
"That is correct." He nodded, giving away nothing. "I was convinced by someone whose judgment I value greatly to give you a chance... I'm still not convinced if it was the right choice..."
Helena tensed. Some things were easy to make out. The 'someone' had to be the girl in the purple dress, the one who'd seen to her father's injuries... Helena had no idea when she'd communicated with Strange, but that wasn't as important as what had happened exactly in the last few hours to suddenly make him think of going back on his offer of sanctuary...
"I want to know who you are, exactly." Strange stated. "What you are doing here, and the kind of trouble you might be bringing to my door. I'm responsible for more than my own life here, and if helping you will put us in someone's crosshairs I'd rather know now. More importantly, I want to know why your presence is hurting Silbhé!"
"What...?!" Neither Aesir were expecting that one.
Truth was, at first Helena had thought him to be speaking to her, but no, his attention was fully focused on Loki.
There was no time for Loki to actually give an answer, or even think of one. Next thing they knew the door was being opened again (less forcefully, thankfully), and the very girl they'd been talking about stepped in. She tried to call Strange's attention several times, and when that failed she pulled out of a pack on her hip something that looked like a pan flute and blew into it in what at first seemed like a rather discordant manner; though on second thought Helena realized it was actually a very specific combination of notes. The instrument sounded nothing like a traditional pan flute, Helena had heard those before; instead it seemed like each tube made the sound of a different bird. It was a code...
"Silbhé!" Strange exclaimed, finally turning his attention towards her.
The girl said not a word, she didn't play the flute again either. At first Helena thought she was just trying to stare Strange into submission, and then she noticed, the way her hands were moving, forming shapes and signals... Sign Language!
Some of the signs were actually delivered sharply enough that Helena suspected she was chastising him or something. It was almost enough to make her chuckle, almost...
It ended eventually. The girl turned in their direction, made a number of signals, waited, then she poked at Strange's middle and repeated the signals, prompting a response from him.
"I apologize for my harsh words." He finally said, though he didn't sound quite honest. "Silbhé wants you to know that breakfast is being prepared and will be delivered soon. After that she'll be coming back to see to your injuries, if you'll allow it."
"Of course, we're thankful for all the help." Helena responded immediately. "And regret any trouble we might have caused."
There was another signal, more silence, yet another poke and after a slight roll of his eyes Strange translated again.
"It's not your fault." Helena was quite sure neither of them truly believed that.
Silbhé bowed her head once respectfully then and left the room, for a moment no one spoke and then, before Helena could find a polite way to ask the questions, the answers were given to her:
"Silbhé cannot speak." He said quietly. "Hasn't been able to for nearly two years now. It hasn't been easy, but we've adapted. When she needs to call someone's attention she can use the flute, and a few of us know ASL." He made a pause before adding. "She was right. It's not your fault, what's going on. It's on us. Things have been quite stressful for a while, and I wrongfully tried to take that out on you, my apologies."
He was halfway out the door when Helena opened her mouth again, she didn't plan it, it just slipped out before she could really think about it:
"Stephanos..."
He turned to look at her over his shoulder, an unreadable expression on his face, and then he nodded once, just once, and walked away. Helena had no idea what to think about that. Did he remember her? And if he did, why had he walked away? Her heart hurt...
xXx
+Why are you doing this?+
Stephen followed Silbhé practically through half of the Sanctum. Sachiko had immediately agreed to see to their guest's meal. Truth was, none of the others sorcerers knew much sign language, and even among the few who did, the chances of them doing something Silbhé asked were small; after all, as far as they were concerned, they were the sorcerers, while she was the acolyte (just an elegant title to give to people they saw as servants... simply because they didn't have magic).
A sharp whistle pulled Stephen's full attention onto Silbhé. It was about the only sound she seemed to be able to make without aid.
They were in their personal study. It was supposed to be the private office for the Sanctum's Master, but Stephen had insisted from the beginning on Silbhé working there with him. He'd taken her in since taking over the place, insisting on her being seen as his PA, rather than an acolyte, a servant. Not everyone liked that, she didn't have magic, and while she wasn't completely useless, she was still just human, and one with a disability at that. There was also Sachiko, Stephen's apprentice, and whom most expected to act as Stephen's assistant, if such a thing were truly necessary; though instead he most of the time had her keep an eye on the novices training in the Sanctum, make sure they were alright, and getting those injured to Kathryn when necessary. They all worked well together, had a good dynamic, even if it was one not many fully understood.
+Why are you doing this?+ Silbhé repeated, her hand-signs somehow more forceful than they'd been the first time.
"I have no idea..." Stephen began, until another whistle cut him off.
+Why are you punishing her? Even more, why are you punishing yourself?!+ Silbhé pressed. +This. What's happening to me, it's not your fault, and it's not hers, or her father's. My fucked-up dreams are no one's fault, not even mine. There has been something in my head I cannot quite reach for over a year now. The mess in Hong Kong showed us it's there, but not what it is.+
"That's something I don't understand." Stephen babbled somewhat. "Why is it that I got actual memories, things I understand, and you didn't?"
+Who knows? Maybe it's because your other half is on the same page already?+ Silbhé shrugged.
"How can you possibly know that...?" Stephen was shocked.
+Please!+ Silbhé raised her eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. +You cannot tell me you don't see it! It's right there. Like ribbons made of light, shining in every color of the rainbow. The two of you are bound together. Have probably been bound for a long time...+
"More than you could imagine." Stephen finally imagined. "Thousands upon thousands of years, more lifetimes than you or I could possibly count, longer than this world has even existed... as long as the universe as we know it has existed..."
+Then why are you here and not with her?!+
"Because you're important to me too Silbhé. You're my friend, as good as a sister to me... and you know I do not say those words lightly, not after Donna..." He shook his head, pushing the memory away. "The Ancient One... she asked me to look after you. But it's more than that. You were there for me, from the very beginning, since the day I arrived to Kamar-Taj, you acted as my nurse, and my friend. I may not be able to break the binds that tie you to the Order, as they are, right now, all that keeps you alive, but I promised to never treat you as a slave, or allow others to treat you in such a way. I promised to be there for you..."
+And you've fulfilled all your oaths to me Stephen, you have.+ She assured him with a warm smile. +But that's still no reason to turn your back on the love of your existence, the other half of your soul... Do you know what I'd do if I had someone like that? Someone who loved me as much as I knew she loved you since she laid eyes on you? You're being given a huge opportunity here Stephen, one I do not think people get often, do not let it go...+
Stephen let out a breath, closing his eyes briefly... or he thought it was briefly; when he opened them again Silbhé was gone, and not only that, but there was someone else standing before him. A very beautiful someone, tall (as tall as him) with skin like pale alabaster, unblemished but for the slight silver markings, old scars that where everywhere he looked on the left side of her, hair was dark, raven-wing black, in shiny, loose curls that fell almost to her waist in a half-undone braid that she seemed to have pulled over her shoulder at some point, and her eyes... her eyes were what drew him in the most, pale green, with the slightest hint of clear blue, they shone with a light that revealed (to anyone with the slightest amount of wisdom) that its owner was no human...
"Elaine..." The name escaped his lips before he could think even once about it.
"So you do know me..." She murmured, and there was sadness in her voice, and a slight hint of anger as well.
"I do." He admitted, knowing he'd have to own up to his actions. "Leaving as I did... I meant not to hurt you, I swear... Silbhé... She's my friend, the dearest friend I've ever had. She's done so much for me and I've tried to do the same but right now... She's not well."
Helena's expression softened, as if she could understand what he meant, and maybe she did. She'd always been a very empathetic person, from what Stephen (Stephanos) could remember from their previous lives...
"She's the one that screamed earlier, is she not?" The goddess inquired quietly. "The psychic scream. I heard nothing but I could feel a slight tremor, even through the shields I'm sure must be in place."
"Yes." He nodded. "No one has ever understood how it happens. She has no magic, is absolutely incapable of it, and yet there are times when it seems to almost... bend to her. Relics protect her, shields have never been able to stop her, and she seems to just... just know things, especially when it comes to how a person is feeling, without any need for questions or answers."
Helena blinked, and for a moment Stephen wondered if he'd said something wrong.
"You really believe that..." She murmured, in unexpected disbelief.
"What do you mean I believe that?" He asked, confused.
"Your friend, Silbhé, she's not incapable of magic." The goddess explained. "She has power, or a great potential for it, at least."
"But... we would know!"
"No, you wouldn't. Because it's not your kind of magic it's..." Helena broke off, as the facts suddenly caught up with her. "It's mine."
"You think she's like you...?" Stephen's brow furrowed. "But that's impossible, Silbhé's human."
"In this life. You haven't always been human, and she probably hasn't either."
Things began falling into place for Stephen then. Especially concerning what had happened before dawn, and many other late nights and early morning during the last twenty-two months or so...
"She's half of a match..." He blurted out.
"What...?" Even Helena wasn't expecting that.
"Yes. Her dreams, her mutterings in more than half a dozen different languages, some which haven't been spoken in this world in centuries... some which I'm quite sure aren't even from this realm..."
"She speaks?! I thought her to be mute."
"She is..." Stephen ran a hand through his hair. "It's complicated."
Helena didn't say a word, instead choosing to wait for Stephen to put his thoughts in order and explain things to her. It took a while, as it seemed like he couldn't decide where to begin exactly, though once he'd made up his mind it seemed obvious even, after all, he himself had pondered not long before on the point where his story truly began...
"Two years ago next January, I was in an accident." He began. "Was in my car, driving way too fast, not paying enough attention to the road... ended going off the highway... and off a cliff too. Suffice it to say it was bad."
Deciding it was better to show her he extended his hands before his body. Off-duty as he was, he wasn't wearing his yellow-leather gloves; the scars were quite obvious, as were his tremors. Helena still didn't speak, though she used a single finger to trace his scars, and he could almost sense the compassion coming off her in waves. Compassion, empathy, not pity... thank the stars! The side of him that was Stephanos had known she wouldn't pity him, Elaine didn't do pity... but the part of him that was Dr. Strange, and still trying to deal with the new twist to his life (hadn't magic been enough to make his life crazy?!) needed a moment to catch up.
"From what Christine has told me... Christine's a friend, a doctor in the same hospital where I used to work." Stephen knew he probably wasn't explaining things very well, but he was sure Helena would keep up. "You see, before all this happened I used to be a neurosurgeon. The best in the world. I was also, I realize now, not a good man. I believed I had everything: looks, talent, money, fame... I went out with the most gorgeous women I could find, and if none of them lasted more than a night, or two at most, it was my own choice, it's not like I was interested in anything long term. The only true relationship I had was with Christine, and then we couldn't make it work, in the end I wasn't the kind of man she deserved..."
"You're a good man." Helena interrupted him, even though she knew, objectively, that she had no way of really knowing... but he was Stephanos, and he was a good man.
"I wasn't then." He insisted. "Anyway. I had that accident, when I woke up I was in the hospital. Christine told me they barely managed to save my life. I was left with permanent nerve damage in both of my hands, even after the bones, muscles and everything else healed, the tremors and the chronic pain were still there. I spent practically my whole fortune on experimental surgeries, obscure drugs and treatments; they managed to take the chronic pain away, but not the rest. So there was no way I could go back to being a doctor... I was at the end of my tether... and then I met Pangborn. A quadriplegic man who found a way to walk again... I wanted some of his miracle cure." He laughed at himself, at his own naivete. "I found my way to Kathmandú, Nepal, to Kamar-Taj and the Order. The Ancient One, the leader of the Order, didn't seem to like me much at first, but Karl convinced her to give me a chance. It was there I met Silbhé, she's technically an acolyte, though she mostly works as my PA nowadays..." He shook his head. "She's sick, has been since she was young. Her aunt took her to Kamar-Taj hoping to find a cure for her sickness, it didn't quite go the way either of them were expecting. The rest of that story is really hers to tell. In any case, she couldn't use magic, so she stayed as an acolyte instead. She assisted the Ancient One, her aunt the nurse Kathryn, and Wong, the librarian of Kamar-Taj as necessary... she was also a great help to me, seeing to my injuries, and helping with my hands during my training. We became friends." He took a deep breath. "Then there was Kaecilius. He was a member of the Order who... turned traitor. He made a pact with Dormammu..."
"Dormammu?!" Helena interrupted, almost screeching... of course she knew who Dormammu was. "Was he insane?!"
"Probably." Stephen shrugged. "I didn't actually know who Dormammu was back then. Aside from the fact that he was a being from the Dark Dimension and bad news for ours. Kaecilius intended to pretty much hand our world to Dormammu, believing that doing so would give him, and us all, eternal life... or something like that."
"That's absolutely idiotic." The goddess scoffed.
"Indeed." Stephen nodded. "I don't know if Kaecilius was tricked, if he was absolutely insane, or if he just did not care at all. In any case, he set out to destroy the Sanctums, which form the shield that keeps this world safe. He did that with London and tried it with NY. I happened to be here at the time. Managed to fight him and his zealots off, twice. The second time with a lot of help from Karl, the Ancient One and Levi."
"Levi...?"
"It's what I call the Cloak. She's become a lot more... sentient since her creation." He shook his head. "It was also then that the Ancient One died... Karl and I went to Hong Kong, knowing that if that Sanctum fell all would be lost... we were too late. Much too late... until I turned back time. The Eye of Agamotto... it's powered by the Time Stone, though I did not know that at the time. I'd been experimenting with it before ending in the NY Sanctum, and still had it on me when we got to Hong Kong. I turned back time, hoping for a second chance to fight Kaecilius and his zealots. It didn't quite work like that. To make a long story short I ended in the Dark Dimension myself, bargaining with Dormammu in order to keep Earth safe..."
"Stephanos..." Helena gasped, unable to keep the growing horror from her voice and expression. "What did you do?"
"What was necessary." He said simply. He knew they would have to talk more about that later on, but not just yet, he wasn't ready yet. "In the end things worked out, we won. Dormammu is never coming back, Kaecilius and his zealots are gone. Even then, the events there changed us, all of us, but especially Silbhé and I. We... we died back there."
"What?!"
"Yeah, the Eye... it's a good thing I had it. She actually died right after we got there. Before I actually used it. She sacrificed her life to save mine..." And if she hadn't, he would have never had the chance to use the Eye at all! "Kaecilius pierced her throat with a conjured blade." He drew in a sharp breath. "It's why she doesn't speak. There's nothing wrong with her throat, or her vocal chords, not anymore... but she died, and somehow she remembers it. We don't know how, but even after I turned back time, even when she was alive again... she did not forget that she'd died. It's left her traumatized. While awake you'll never hear her say a word, or laugh, nothing at all; and yet, while asleep she mutters, broken words and phrases in more than half a dozen different languages..."
"Some not from this time, or this world." Helena finished for him.
"Exactly." Stephen nodded tiredly. "I've been trying to help. I know that dying changed me, it unlocked the memories of my past lives. If the same is true for her... it still doesn't explain the rest. The nightmares, the psychosomatic mutism..."
"Unless she's blocked." Helena offered. "If she's somehow stopping herself from fully remembering, from acknowledging what's in her soul."
"Why would she do that?" Stephen didn't understand, while it hadn't exactly been easy for him, it hadn't been bad at all!
"It's not easy for everyone to admit that their lives, that the universe as a whole is far more complex than they knew it to be." She told him with a small smile. "There's a reason why mortals usually do not remember past lives, do not know about the Other Side... most cannot really comprehend things like that. They're beyond them."
"I don't think it's that. Silbhé is so open minded, she wouldn't let something like that stop her."
"There's another option, of course. The possibility that whatever is in her past, whatever her past life might have been like... that it wasn't good, either the entirety of it, or the end. If it wasn't good, if it was traumatic... that may be what's blocking her. A piece of her soul trying to protect her current self from her past one..." She shook her head slowly. "If it is that... it won't last forever. Her soul will need to be whole, and sooner or later something will have to give."
She was right, so right... yet they'd no idea that it'd be sooner rather than later.
xXx
The following two weeks passed by, slow in some ways, fast in others. It didn't take long for the people in the Order to grow used to their two guests, especially when they began helping both novices and more experienced sorcerers improve. It was said that they'd even managed to earn the respect of the Wanderer, Master Karl Mordo, who hadn't set foot in Kamar-Taj since the fight with Kaecilius and Dormammu, and only dropped by the NY Sanctum every other month, briefly. It also didn't take long for the sorcerers, not just in the NY Sanctum, but in the whole Order, to learn about Helena's history, and the fact that she was Doctor Strange's perfect match.
Not everything was perfect, of course. Tamara Walker, one of the most experienced and talented sorcerers in NY (the favorite to become the next Master of the Sanctum, until Strange's naming by the Ancient One herself... and also Sachiko's previous teacher) did not like Stephen. His insistence that, even if he didn't act as such, he was still a doctor, his refusal to even learn any battle magic that would serve to kill his opponents (he always chose to fight with shields, whips and staves instead); (The last straw would come years later, in late Spring of 2015, with Strange's decision to allow Sachiko and a number of other volunteers to go to London and help deal with the situation being caused there by the Convergence. It was Walker's belief that if the events weren't magical, they shouldn't be their concern. Stephen disagreed. Tamara would walk out not long afterward.)
Eventually Samhain came, Helena's birthday. She outright refused to give anyone her exact age, but it didn't matter, Sachiko and some of the other novices still organized a birthday party for her. It was great fun for everyone, they'd all come to love Helena dearly. Loki wasn't as loved, though that was perhaps because he didn't mingle with the members of the Order as much as his daughter did. Everyone understood that he was busy dealing with stuff, and thus didn't pressure him.
"Helena..." Sachiko called, near the end of the party.
Aside from having planned everything beforehand, the young Japanese-American hadn't done much during the party itself, instead keeping herself mostly to a side of the room, only moving to help Silbhé attend to Stephen, Helena, Loki and Kathryn... she'd also taken some food, drinks and cake to Karl when he arrived (though he pretty much parked himself in a corner of the room, not interested in mingling with anyone else).
"Yes Sachi-chan?" Helena asked with a smile.
She really liked Stephen's young apprentice, and it showed in the way she helped the girl train, treated her almost like a little sister or a favored niece.
"I heard Stephen say once that you had a beautiful voice, would you sing for us please?" The young woman asked.
The question took Helena completely by surprise. Stephen had, indeed, said that she had a good voice, though she hadn't actually sung in almost a lifetime, certainly not since her Nana's death. For so long her voice had carried a grief so great... well, there was a reason why she was known as the Goddess of Grief... and yet, she was also the Goddess of Hope. And never had she felt as hopeful as she had ever since laying eyes on Stephanos again.
"It'd be my pleasure." She finally told Sachiko.
There was no music, and no need for any. Ljósálfar had always been good at singing acapella, and Helena would be no exception. It also didn't take her long to decide on a song. One that had been on her mind for a long, long time; though only in pieces, until very recently... So, without further ado, the goddess took a deep breath and, like her beloved Mama all those years before, she let go, losing herself in the music, letting her voice fill with all the emotions in her heart: grief, hope, love...
"There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us."
"Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever...?
No one..."
"There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us."
"Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever? (ever)
When love must die."
It was a beautiful song. Beautiful and also sad in ways that only those who'd heard at least parts of Helena's history could understand; and even then it wasn't fully. They could never fully understand it because they were mortals, and most mortals could never begin to comprehend the kind of existence the goddess had lead, and could actually remember. And yet, it did not end there, it did not end in sadness, because while the grief was still there (it had been there for too long to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't) there was also hope, and love, so much of both. Because forever was no longer a curse...
"But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,"
"And we can have forever,
And we can love forever..."
"Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,"
"Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,"
"Who waits forever anyway?"
Silbhé did not wake up the next morning, or the one after that. No one had the slightest idea of what was going on, and all who knew her, who cared about her were extremely worried. Master Turner, one of the most talented in mind magicks, said it was his belief that she was 'trapped' in a dream or a memory, something so powerful she either couldn't get out of, or she simply didn't know how to. And as the power holding her there was unlike anything the Order dealt with, there was nothing any of them could do to get her out.
Helena was afraid of hurting her. Loki refused to even try, stating that if she was really trapped in a corner of her mind, going in to try and get her out would require actual mind-melding, that wasn't a one way street, and there was no way he was allowing any of his memories to filter into Silbhé's mind, there was no way he was putting that kind of burden on her. Especially the memories of his time in the Abyss (which, regretfully, were still at the forefront of his mind, and probably would be for a long time yet).
In the end no one needed to do anything. It took six weeks, but eventually Silbhé did return to the world of the living... in a manner no one could have ever expected.
By the end of the first week the whole Order knew what was going on, and it didn't take even three more days before people were dropping by, from Kamar-Taj and the other Sanctums, even Karl returned sooner than he usually did. All who could do anything, tried to help; and those who couldn't even think of something to do, would send prayers for Silbhé, leave small tokens of their honest appreciation for the young woman. It had taken years, but they were finally seeing the girl as more than an acolyte, a servant, or even a PA... Stephen liked that, and he was sure she would too, once she woke up and realized it.
It was the day of the Winter Solstice, when Silbhé returned to the world of the living... or not quite the day, the night... the moment the sun began setting, Silbhé sat up in her bed (they didn't know that at the time, that it was the exact time of the sunset... that they only realized later on). Kathryn was in the room when it happened, and she immediately called to her niece, but there was no response, Silbhé's eyes looked empty. She just slipped out of bed, foregoing a robe and slippers completely, seemingly not noticing the cold floorboards beneath her bare feet as she walked silently out of her room, in nothing but her off-white nightgown. Several sorcerers saw her and soon enough more than a few were dropping by, wanting to know what was going on. A couple tried to talk to Silbhé but she ignored them too... or no, not ignored, she wasn't pretending like she wasn't hearing them, it was like she honestly couldn't. Like her mind was elsewhere...
It took no time at all for them all to make it to the music room. The sorcerers did not go in, not wanting to intrude, though Kathryn and Stephen did, while Sachiko and Helena stood at the door (no one knew quite where Loki was). Still saying nothing at all, acknowledging no one, Silbhé went straight for the grand concert piano in a corner of the room. She sat before it and began playing straight away. A melody no one recognized. There was no music sheet, no aids, she just set her fingers on the keys and began playing. And then kept at it. It took a while, but eventually people began noticing that she was pretty much playing the same four minutes or so, over and over again, with slight variations here and there, but basically the same four minutes or so... and she didn't stop.
There were slight variations, minute changes in notes, sometimes in rhythm, or the speed of her playing; but the basic melody remained the same. For nearly fifteen hours straight.
It was actually shortly before dawn that Karl noticed that particular detail, the fact that Silbhé had spent the longest night of the year, literally the whole night, playing the same melody over and over again. And then something changed, finally... it wasn't the melody itself, no, but suddenly there were words. Everyone did a double take at that (and the number of sorcerers hanging out just outside the music room had only grown through the night, rather than decreasing...); it had been so long since anyone had heard a word from Silbhé... and not just any words, she was singing...
Those who'd heard Helena Lokidottir sing days before could have never imagined anyone having a more beautiful voice than her... just a few words into Silbhé's song they were having to rethink that:
"In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I prayed to the gods let him stay"
"The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why"
"All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments imagine you here
All of my memories keep you near
Your silent whispers, silent tears"
"Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're ok"
"Reminds me again it's worth it all
So I can go on"
"All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments imagine you here
All of my memories keep you near
Your silent whispers, silent tears"
"Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling, you know I love you
Till the end of time"
"All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments imagine you here
All of my memories keep you near
Your silent whispers, silent tears"
"All of my memories..."
The silence that followed the end of the melody was sudden, and very tense, yet no one dare break it for what seemed like forever. Outside dawn was breaking, yet none of them acknowledged it at all. It was as if everyone in the NY Sanctum were waiting for something else... and then it came; in the way and from the person no one could have ever expected:
"Tinúviel..."
All heads turned then, and great was their surprise when they found none other than Loki Friggson (he'd insisted on that name being used, on him being Odinson no more), standing in the opposite end of the music room, staring at Silbhé like he'd never seen her before.
"A'maelamin (My beloved)..." He breathed out, eyes fixed straight on the pianist.
The word was followed by a very long string of words in a language none of the humans knew, though they all agreed they sounded very beautiful, almost magical in a way...
"It's one of the languages Silbhé has been muttering every night." Kathryn murmured quietly.
"It's elvish." Helena informed her. "The more formal version of it, quenya..."
"That's important somehow, isn't it?" Sachiko guessed.
"Elvish is, as can be guessed, the language of the elves, the Ljósálfar." The goddess clarified. "I'm half-elf myself. Quenya... it's the dialect the royals speak." She made a pause, seemingly thinking something over before adding. "Mama was Lalaith Mirloth, crown princess of Alfheim, would have been Queen, before she gave it all up to marry Papa... he gave her a new name..."
"Tinúviel..." Several voices finished for her, beginning to understand the implications.
"How is that even possible?" Kathryn inquired, shocked.
"The same way we're here." Stephen murmured, signaling to Helena and himself. "Many are the souls who choose to live again, rather than seek eternal peace. And all matches will always seek to remain together..."
The implications were clear for all, even those who didn't really comprehend things like soulmates and reincarnations.
"Wait a second..." Karl, who was somehow the last of their little group to catch up, did a double-take at that. "You mean that Silbhé is..."
"My mama..." Helena finished for him, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, voice quiet and watery. "Papa's only love..."
For several minutes, neither Silbhé nor Loki spoke, they just stood beside the piano, holding hands, looking into each others' eyes, as if that alone were enough for them to communicate. When they finally did speak though, the first words to come out of their mouths were some only two of the others recognized, and no one had expected hearing, especially not without any warning...
"I promise you that from this day on, you will be my only one. I shall look at no other the way I look at you, I shall think of no other the way I think about you, I shall talk to no other the way I talk to you, I shall desire no other the way I desire you, and I shall with no other the way I lay with you. I shall be with no other for you are now and forever shall be my one and only; my friend, my lover, my partner, my match..."
They all could see the explosion of light and color, the moment it took shape, in the form of a dozen or so ribbons of multi-colored light that bound the two together.
"What was that?" Sachiko asked, curious and awed by the display.
"The Ancient Vows." Helena informed her. "As far as magic and the higher powers are concerned, the two of them are married now..."
They had been before, of course, that was the whole point of the match, but the bond had been at least a lifetime old and in disrepair... not anymore.
"Something tells me things are going to get really interesting around here." Stephen quipped with a hint of a smile.
He was right of course, he just had no idea how much.
xXx
Loki and Silbhé took a few days to themselves, to reconnect and allow their new/old memories to settle, their bond to stabilize. It was after Christmas dinner (which they all shared in the Sanctum, even if not everyone actually celebrated Christmas) that the group conformed by Loki, Silbhé, Kathryn, Helena, Stephen, Sachiko, Karl and Wong gathered together in one of the sitting rooms to talk about things.
"Why didn't you remember your past when I did?" Stephen asked, curious.
"How is it that you can speak now and you couldn't before?" Karl made his own question at the same time. "Is there anything we could have done to help you?"
As close as Stephen was to her, sometimes he forgot that others had been there first, and while the Ancient One might be gone, and Karl might not be in NY all the time (though he'd been recently been dropping by more often), Silbhé still cared, as did they.
"There's nothing you could have done Karl." Silbhé assured him kindly. "The problem with my voice was in my head, not in my body." She turned to Stephen before adding. "And it was the same with my memories."
"The trauma..." Helena said softly, sadly. "What Amora did... Nana I..."
"Oh cala amin (my light)..." Silbhé slipped into elvish briefly without quite noticing. "It wasn't your fault not at all. You tried, and nearly died yourself because of it. That was the real trauma. Not dying myself, I always knew that was a chance, with the life I lead, with the choices I made... but being unable to protect you, to protect your unborn sister, and then being, in a way, the cause of your own suffering... that brought more pain to my heart and soul than my current self was ready to deal with." She shook her head. "So every night I remembered, and my soul tried to embrace that past, and every morning I'd forget when I found myself unable to do it. And my voice remained gone, because it is my voice, my songs, that carry so much of who I am, who I used to be..."
"Tinúviel..." Loki murmured almost reverently, kissing her hair.
"What does that mean?" Sachiko asked, curious.
"Nightingale." Loki answered. "It's elvish for nightingale. The name I gave her, for she possesses the most beautiful and perfect voice in all the realms."
"You're just biased." Silbhé giggled just slightly.
"I'm not." Loki defended, though his smile gave it all away.
"Well, all of Alfheim, and a good percentage of the inhabitants of the remaining realms support his belief so..." Helena offered with a mischievous smile.
"So you're together now, or back together." Kathryn said serenely. "What does that mean? Long term, I mean."
"Not much will change, at least not right now." Her niece assured her. "I am Tinúviel's reincarnation but that doesn't mean I stop being Silbhé Salani. I'm still your niece, auntie. And I am still Stephen's personal assistant, and an acolyte for the Order."
"If you have a way to preserve her life, I'd break that particular bond." Stephen offered, looking straight at Loki. "I've never liked the idea of indenture."
"I will see into it." Loki nodded. "But my love has insisted on remaining here, working for you. And I have nothing against that. You're a good man Stephen, and I do not just say that because my daughter loves you. You took me in, even knowing nothing at all about me, even when suspecting that my presence might be hurting one you called friend, family even. And you've done right by your people, I can see that. It'd be my pleasure if you allowed us to remain, to help, in any way we can."
"You do need to understand though, the downsides to this." Silbhé added. "When Asgard finds out about us, about all of us... and lets not kid ourselves, they will, sooner or later. Things might get complicated. The Allfather's not a bad man, but time has not been kind to him, his judgment is skewed, especially where it concerns his children." She let out a breath. "It didn't use to be this bad, I have no idea how things got this far..."
"I have no idea either." Loki admitted. "For the longest time I believed things had always been this way, but now... Now I know better, and it makes me wonder."
The humans had no idea what they were referring to, but others did.
"You think the spell that made them forget you ever existed might have affected them in other ways." Stephen said, surprised at the idea, even as his mind worked around the concept. "That it might have, what? Altered their behavior?"
"Not precisely." Silbhé clarified. "But it must have dealt with more than memories, if they couldn't see there was something missing. And then, the fact that none of them ever seemed to wonder about my match's attitude, his actions. In their eyes the change must have been sudden, and without a reason, yet they never asked what was wrong. Not him, not even themselves. Even if it was just a fail-safe, to prevent the block from failing, it was more than a mere memory blocker should have done. And from there..."
"From there it's a slippery slope, impossible to tell where the spell truly ended and each person's attitude took over." Stephen finished for her in understanding.
"So what, if it was the spell, we won't have trouble because it will have broken?" Wong was trying to understand, but the magics they spoke of were like nothing he was familiar with.
"No, because the spell did not break." Helena shook her head.
"I died." Loki deadpanned. "Even if Helena did everything in her power to revive me, I effectively died, and that's why the blocker ceased to have a hold on me. My love's own death allowed her to reach such memories as well, and our proximity pushed her soul into dealing with the revelations sooner rather than later. But in the end, for all that we know, the spell still exists, we're just not subject to it anymore."
"So... we're still potentially in trouble with Asgard." Karl summarized.
"Yes, and that's something you all need to keep in mind before you decide to allow us to stay." Silbhé stated softly but authoritatively.
"What's there to decide?" Stephen asked, honestly. "You're family, family doesn't give up on one another. If there is really trouble with Asgard, we will face it in due time." His expression turned almost self-deprecating as he added. "Besides, chances are we'd have been in trouble anyway, all things considered..."
"Why?" It was Loki and his match who did not quite understand things then.
"The Eye of Agamotto." Stephen explained. "It's the vessel for the Time Stone... something tells me Odin Allfather will not much like that."
Loki knew he wouldn't. The Allfather saw Midgardians... humans, as less, he always had. He'd never be able to accept a group of humans being in possession of one of the Infinity Stones, much less making use of it. Them being spell-weavers really wouldn't make things much better, probably not any better at all.
"So, we have two potential troubles coming our way, from the same direction, and individual." Karl summarized. "A man who, from what you've told us thus far of your history, isn't the most compassionate or understanding..." He looked at Stephen. "You really love getting into trouble, don't you Stephen?"
It would have been taken as an offense, if he hadn't been half-smirking even as he said the words.
"Oh come on Karl, it's not like I get into this situations myself, they just... sort of fall on me!" Stephen tried to defend himself, though his own laughter didn't help his case either.
It was insane, truly; there was some very real, potential trouble in their future, and yet none of them had ever been the kind to run away from such situations. They'd rather stand together and face them head on, and that was exactly what they'd do, always.
A few more things changed slightly in the following days. Like when Loki finished creating a pair of bracelets he named deamarkonian, which were meant to preserve Silbhé's life by sharing Loki's life-energy with her; they also had the side-effect of allowing her access to his magic. Her own gift was also revealed eventually: healing. She was no longer an acolyte, but she was still Stephen's PA and proud of it. She also took great pride in helping the Order in every way she could, they were her family after all, the family she had chosen... the family they all had chosen. Whatever might be in their future, they'd face it together.
So, what do you think thus far?
Second and last part of this particular fic is coming in a little less than two weeks, hope to see you then. Please don't forget to leave reviews.
As always, cover and set of wallpapers can be found in DA.