Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. That would be JKR, lucky lady.

Time frame: Summer between fifth and sixth year

Lily Evans never once regretted being a witch.

Until now.

Sitting on the swings of the playground - the ones her and Severus used to spend on every summer - Lily can't help but wonder if her life would have been easier had she not run off to Hogwarts the September after her eleventh birthday. The past five years spent in that spectacular castle have been one big blur draped in spells, magical creatures, and new worlds. They were wonderful and innocent.

But that innocence has faded.

Magic is no longer pure. She used to think that magic could only bring happiness and joy to others, as it did to her, but realizes her mistake now. Losing Severus caused her to see that. Perhaps if she had acknowledged that magic also had dark and powerful forces, she might have been able to save him. Maybe she could have shown him the wonders of magic rather than revel in it all by herself.

Sadly, he is not the only one she has lost.

Petunia.

Lily had lost Petunia before she knew it had happened. Just as she had done with Sev, she did with her own sister. So selfishly obsessed with magic and how much her life had changed, she forgot to remember what she was leaving behind. The bonds that she had already created. The lives that she had already touched.

Now with the war and Voldemort's plan to eradicate all Muggleborns, magic seems to have lost its magic. Her world is no longer unicorns and charms, but is quickly turning into werewolves and hexes. Many of her friends have already decided not to go back to Hogwarts next year, and she doesn't blame them. She knows if she told her parents about the upcoming war, she wouldn't be returning either.

But she won't.

She can't.

Because even though, it would be so much easier to hide under her covers and cry about all the horrible things that have happened, she can't give up magic. Call it insanity, or denial, but she believes that she was meant to be a witch. That she was destined to be a part of this wonderful and terrifying world. And when that destiny is revealed to her, every regret she has will not longer matter. All of the people and things she has given up will be worth it.

All of them.