okay, so this is the first fic I have ever uploaded. I have been writing (in general) for years but this is my first attempt in the world of fan fiction. so please be nice.
Disclaimer: I own nothing...if I did, I'd want Booth. :)
Booth stood in his hallway staring at the door. Hannah chattered about the phone behind him, but he didn't really notice. All he could see was his partners face as she walked out the door. He tried to comprehend the look in her eyes. understanding? joy? hurt? love? He supposed it was a mixture of them all.
"What happened to us?"he asked himself quietly.
"Whats that, hun?" Hannah asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.
He had forgotten she was there."uhh..."he tried to think of something to say "Nothing, babe...just thinking to myself"
He followed her back into the living room and half heartedly listened to her chatter on about where to put stuff and when to have everyone over for supper. He smiled at her as she happily bounced around the living room. He loved her, and he was happy that she was so happy. Then why couldn't he get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong?
Hannah chattered about the phone and how glad she was that he liked it, until she noticed his eyes fixated on the door. She could see him deep in thought and she knew he wasn't thinking about her. "Dammit if I'm gonna lose him to a scientist freak incapable of human feelings"she thought to herself. Don't get her wrong, she liked Brennan, she liked all the people from the Jeffersonian. but something about the way Temperance looked at Booth made her uneasy.
"She rejected him, she broke his heart into a million tiny pieces. You cant fix that. She had her chance, he is mine now"
She heard him mumble something to himself, his eyes still glued to the door. Hannah thought he had enough time alone with his thoughts and she needed to redirect his attention back to her. She glided up and slipped her arms casually around his waist. She felt the muscles tense at the sudden contact.
"Whats that, hun" she asked softly. His eyes locked with hers and softened. finally bringing him back to the present. once she was satisfied that she had his full attention back she went back to her excited chatter about various different things.
when they went to bed that night she knew something wasnt right with him, he seemed distant.
"I will just have to try harder" she thought to herself as sleep claimed her.
Temperance couldn't get the sad, lost look on Booth's face out of her mind. She had come home from his place, changed, gone jogging, showered and even attempting to write another chapter for her upcoming book. nothing seemed to distract her from him.
"I had my chance and I blew it. I have no right to feel envious of Hannah." She sighed, frustrated with herself. She focused her eyes on her laptop. The newest chapter of her novel on the screen. She stared at it, almost blankly, for several minutes then finally slapped the cover down and stood up.
"This is ridiculous. We both knew he was gonna move on. why does this bother me so much?"
She looked at the clock on the coffee table, it read 1:45am. Sighing defeatedly to herself she went and crawled into bed. She just wanted things to go back to normal. A single tear slid down her cheek as she succumed to sleep.
The next few days passed in a blur for all of them. Booth was busy with cases and Hannah. Bones was busy with her own cases and trying to get her book finished. She did everything she could to keep busy and keep Booth out of her mind.
By the end of the week Booth was getting irritable. He hadn't seen Bones in almost a week and he missed her. He missed their friendly banter and quiet understanding of what was going on in each others head.
The Friday work day came to a close. Booth decided he had had enough of the stoney silence between he and Brennan. He called Hannah to let her know he would be late.
"But I wanted to go out for dinner..." Hannah whined.
Booth sighed. He felt bad for disappointing her, but he hated it when she was overly clingy. "Look Hannah, I'm sorry. There is something I need to do. We can go out tomorrow. I promise"
"Fine...How long will you be?" She inquired
"I don't really know." He replied, almost coldy. "Look, I gotta go. I'll see you later" He hung up, without giving her a chance to respond.
He pulled into the parking lot of the Jeffersonian. He rubbed his neck and got out of the suv. "I have to do this" he thought solemnly to himself. "I need to know"
He hurried into the building, rushing past the security guard and the museum exhibit entrances and down to the Medico-legal lab. as he walked through the sliding glass doors he slowed his pace. He began to wonder if he was doing the right thing. He looked around, memories floating back to him. all the cases they worked, as a team, all the quiet moments, guy-hugs and friendly banter. He wondered if she would actually still be in the lab..."wait, it's friday night. of course she'll be here"
He approached her office cautiously. seeing her at her desk furiously typing on her computer. he stood at the door. quietly watching her. He could tell she wasn't fully concentrating on what she was working on, could tell that part of her mind was elsewhere.
He stood just watching. trying to figure out how to start the conversation he knew they had to have. sighing softly to himself he took a small step into the office.
"We didn't hold" he started quietly.
Brennan nearly jumped out of her chair. "Jesus Booth! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
Booth fought the smile that was forcing its way onto his face, "I've never seen her so jumpy" he thought to himself.
"Sorry."he stated simply.
Once Brennan's heart rate slowed back to a normal pace, she looked up at him.
"What did you say?"
"We didn't hold. You said we would hold." He said in a rush, before he lost the courage to speak to her so openly.
"You're right, we didn't hold. We're not the center anymore, Booth." She said, trying to mask the pain she felt by her own words.
Booth felt like someone had stabbed him right in the heart. Her words were cold and he tried to hide the sudden jab of pain.
"We were always the center. What happened to us, Bones?" He asked, trying to keep his emotions in check.
"Things change, Booth. People change, you taught me that." She said. Sounding just as cold and harsh as her voice would allow. She didn't want him to see that she was hurt.
"Not that much can change in a year, Brennan. Talk to me. We were still the center when we got back, what's happened between then and now? " He asked desperately, showing the pain in his eyes. He needed to know when she had stopped caring about their friendship. When she had stopped caring about him.
"A lot can change in a year, Booth. We both changed while we were away. and there is some change you just can't go back from. Now if you'll excuse me, i have work to do." She replied icely. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep her emotions in check for much longer and she didn't want him to see her break.
Her words stung. and he felt anger start to build to the surface. five years they had been partners, not just partners they were friends. In that five years she had never treated him like he was nothing. even when she hated him, he knew that she cared. Now, for the first time in their friendship, he wasn't so sure.
"No, Bones. Lets have this out. We don't work cases together anymore, we don't get thai or go to the diner, we don't even talk on the phone or text anymore. Last week when you were at my apartment was the first time i had seen or talked to you in weeks and even then you flew out of there as fast as you could!" His eyes locked with hers as his anger took over "Just tell me when you stopped giving a damn? When did it just become the job to you? Why didn't you talk to me before you haphazardly threw five years of friendship out the window? huh? I want answers, dammit!" He was breathing heavily after his rant and he just stared at her, waiting for an answer to any of the questions, waiting for some sign that she could still care.
Brennan eyes widened, shocked at his outburst of anger. She had never seen him like that, it scared her slightly. She sat there looking at him, letting his words sink in. As she mulled through everything he had said she felt her own anger start to boil over. She fought to keep it down
"Just leave it alone, Booth. Whats done is done. Now please, I have work to do. just go." She replied trying to keep her annoyance and anger in check.
Booth could see that she was desperately trying to keep her emotions inside and normally he would've backed down seeing the pleading look in her eyes. But today, today was different, now that he was here he didn't want to leave without any answers.
"LIKE HELL! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU GIVE ME SOME DAMN ANSWERS" He shouted at her, he didn't mean to. He was so tired of this cold demeanor of hers that he was doing everything he could to get her to listen.
She felt her own anger finally bubble over. She didn't try to fight it this time. She stood up swiftly as she tried to calm her thoughts down to one at a time.
"You want answers?" she shouted. "What the hell makes you think you deserve any answers? You are just at just as much fault as I am for how things are so you have absolutely no right to barge in here demanding answers with that alpha-male stance of yours, Booth!"she took a quick breath deciding whether or not to continue
"And you know, I NEVER stopped caring. Never! It's you who walked away. It's you who so casually tossed our friendship away. All because you have Hannah now and to hell with everyone else."
She saw hurt and anger flash across his face, but she wasn't done talking and she wasn't gonna let him break her tangent
" I went to the diner every single day since I got back! EVERY DAY. But ever since Hannah showed up you stopped showing up. And like an idiot, I continued to go. I even always ordered coffee and pie in hopes, that just once you would be mildy cured from a serious case of recto-cranial inversion and show up. Finally, after I saw you last, I knew that we were done and I stopped going. I stopped going by the coffee cart too. I stopped hoping I would randomly run into you and things could start to go back to normal." She sighed angrily " I stopped diluding myself that some small part of you still cared about me...about all of us." She couldn't keep the tears back anymore and they started spilling onto her cheeks.
She brushed them away angrily. Hating that she was losing her composure.
"There! You got your damn answers. Now, please... just go away." She swerved around him and hurried out of her office. he stood there looking slightly dumbfounded..."did that just happen?" He asked himself and solemly walked out of the lab. feeling worse than ever.