AN: This is supposed to be funny. Hopefully this comes across as so. Not really meant for anything but to make me feel better and calm my nerves. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
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A NaruSaku One-shot
Author: wubbzy
Count: 1063
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Expecting the Unexpected and Delirium
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Expect it.
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Her skin felt meek, her muscles felt deteriorated, and her bones felt fragile. She hadn't even began to comprehend how she could feel this weak after a day at the hospital but not feel this way when she had been on missions. The logic was jumbled and if she even tried to think about this phenomenon, her head just might explode.
To say the least, it was an exhausting day at the hospital – problem after problem after problem…
Training new nurses was on the agenda today, and, as any high ranking medical physician would say, this task had always been the worst besides counting stock or charting medical records. They would fumble and stutter and drop equipment and forget simple orders and did the wrong exam and, and…
She inwardly begged Tsunade to never give her this task ever again. Ever.
Ino wasn't helping when she played a few pranks on the newbies – they would end up on the operating room instead of the X-ray room or get yelled at when they brought the wrong files or grabbed the wrong type of syringe.
Sakura was not amused.
It had only caused problems for the rosette. Not only did it consume all of her time throughout the day, but she had to lecture them and explain everything again, which she supposed was her job – but there were just some things that shouldn't have had to be explained. The biggest downer was the fact that she would have to do this again tomorrow.
Worst. Punishment. Ever.
Her mind eradicated any thoughts, finally opening her door to her home. She would worry about tomorrow's problems tomorrow.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto happily greeted. His ear to ear grin assuaged her hospital frustrations. Sakura offered a hackneyed smile, meekly waving as he went for a hug. Naruto examined her from head to toe. "Sakura-chan, I think you need to rest." Sakura dropped her keys on the counter and sat down on their couch, completely worn out.
"You're telling me. It was so exhausting at work today. The new nurses acted like they had a hole through their skull and then-"
"Sakura-chan, I think you should go on leave," Naruto suggested, interrupting her train of thought.
"Why would I do that?" she asked perplexed, making Naruto grin once more.
"Honestly Sakura-chan, I would think you of all people, a medical doctor, would know why. Women like you should be staying home, you know," Naruto stated, crossing his arms with a hint of smugness. His eyebrow furrowed, staring at Sakura with confusion and fear. Apparently, she took that the wrong way.
"What?" she seethed. Her temper rose, and her fist clenched. He tried to stop her rage, but it was too late.
"I didn't mean it in a bad way! What I meant was just that you shouldn't be working when the baby is coming!" Naruto explained, forcing Sakura to stop in her tracks. Her eyes widened. Did she hear him right?
"What did you just say?" she asked, her anger momentarily tamed by the abrupt statement.
"Maybe you should calm down, it's not good for the-"
"Naruto, you idiot, I'm not pregnant," she declared, too outraged to be confused. Naruto tilted his head as though he hadn't understood. He then sniggered, patting her back as though she just told a joke.
"That's a good one Sakura-chan. We all know, you don't have to hide it. It's alright," Naruto laughed, using her shoulder to support him as more chuckles rushed out of his gaping mouth.
"What? All I understand is that you think my stomach is big or something; you're saying I'm eating too much! You're calling me fat!" Sakura deducted, more fury running through every capillary.
"Not fat! Well, you are eating for two-" Naruto's sentence was interrupted by Sakura's growl. "But you aren't fat or anything!" he defended. "Just saying that you should be eating a lot."
"How did this get into your head?" she wondered, more stunned than angered now.
"Sai gave me this book. It's really helpful." Naruto showed her the book, Expecting the Unexpected.
"Sai gave you this?" She felt as though she was ready to burst.
"Yup, since I never go to the library, Sai decided to let me borrow it when I mentioned that you've been extra cranky, and he figured this would be the perfect book. It fits all your symptoms! At first I wasn't sure how to feel, but now I'm really happy! Hey, I really want a boy Sakura-chan! Let's have a boy!" Naruto grinned. "A baby girl would be nice too, but when she gets older, she's not going to even think of boys till she's married," Naruto rambled, already thinking of their future child running around the village, clad in orange.
"Naruto, for the last time I'm not – wait… that made absolutely no sense. How is she supposed to get married if she can't think of boys in the first place?" Silence permeated the air.
"Anything's possible, Sakura-chan."
"No, it's not. There's no logic in that!"
"You should know by now not to question my reasoning's Sakura-chan. Don't worry, Mai-chan will find a way, just like her daddy!" Naruto crossed his arms. Sakura deadpanned. Maybe that was her problem; she should just let him do whatever he wants and let him think whatever wants, even when he's completely wrong. Tch, as if.
"Naruto, that's never going to happen. Besides, that's completely not fair to her! Of course she would be able to date-"
"But not till she's at least thirty!" Naruto intervened.
"No, she's going to have a normal life, meaning, she's going to be allowed to date in her teens."
"Not if I have anything to say about it."
"That's why you won't have a say in it," she sniggered, making him pout.
"But I'm her dad! Besides, the guy has to be really something if he's going to even think of dating my little girl. I have standards you know."
"Naruto-" Sakura's eyes widened. Wait…what the hell was she doing? "You idiot, I'm not even pregnant!"
"This is going to be the best! But I've gotta' admit, I didn't think you'd start showing so soon."
Nothing else was said after that. Naruto was knocked out, seeing darkness, and maybe a small twinkle of stars.
And that was the most unexpected thing anyone could expect.
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AN: I felt in a light hearted mood. I hope you guys enjoyed it and laughed a bit. :D Please review. It may be short, but I'm a bit nervous since I've never done something like this. Tell me what you think! xD