Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate *tear*. I also don't own the
Teletubbies. But who would want to anyway?
Liss: Ok, this idea came to me...just now actually. *giggle* I was on this awesome site looking for a Stargate pic for my computer wallpaper. They are captions from random episodes and the people have added speech bubbles and such. It's really funny! And one of them was Daniel staring intently at something and Jack was standing behind him. Jack's speech bubble says, "Too much TV rots your brain, Daniel. Go outside and play." And Daniel's says, "Another hour, please Jack. The Teletubbies are next!" So that gave me an idea...
Note: I do NOT watch the Teletubbies. I only saw TWO EPISODES at my cousin's house because she loves them. And I was forced to! She pulls hard...*cradles hair* So don't get any ideas!
WARNING: BEWARE OF RANDOMNESS. You have been warned.
~*~*~*~*~*
"I want a full mission report by 0600 hours. Dismissed," General Hammond said. SG-1 walked out of the debriefing room. Teal'c headed to his room for kelno'reem. Sam walked off to her lab with her head stuffed in some papers. General Hammond went into his office and picked up his red phone. Jack didn't waste any time. He went straight to the commissary for some pie and jello before having a go at his gameboy.
Daniel poked his head out the doorframe and checked that no one was looking. He opened his book on ancient Sumerian cuneiforms to a random page and buried his head in it. He then walked as slow as he could to his office, trying to act as natural as he always was when he wasn't looking where he was going. He reached his office door and stepped inside, quickly closing the door behind him. He threw his book aside and grinned.
"Aaah! Teletubbies!"
He flopped down in front of his wide-screen TV (thanks to federal funding) and turned it on to channel 4. Sighing heavily but happily, he stared at the baby-faced sun as it rose over the perfect green field of flowers.
Ten minutes later, when it had risen to its full height (two inches since its starting point), the picture moved to the fields, where the rabbits and flowers were just starting to wake. Daniel grinned as the red flower opened up to the sun. He loved that flower.
Just then, the big dome-shaped thing in the middle of the field opened up and the four Teletubbies bounced out. First Po walked up to the screen, pushing a small cart-like thing. She waved to the camera. Daniel waved back, a giddy grin on his face. Po's name flashed across the screen in bright red. Next, Tinkey Winkey bounded up to the camera as his name flashed across the screen in purple. Daniel got up from his seat, opened his door, checked that no one was there, shut the door, and made his way over to a shelf of old artifacts. He rapped on the top of the shelf with his knuckles and the whole shelf flipped over, revealing a small door on the bottom of the shelf. Daniel opened the door and pulled out the contents with a big smile.
He sank back into his chair with his life-size purple over-stuffed Tinkey Winkey plush doll and sighed happily as Tinkey Winkey waved. Next came the yellow Teletubbie. La La bounced up to the screen and giggled. She waved with both of her three-fingered hands. Daniel smiled. She was so happy. And yellow. Extremely yellow.
The last Teletubbie to come was Dipsy. The acid green Teletubbie waved to the camera and hopped off to join his friends. Next the all waved. Daniel waved back. He was the happiest man alive.
-5 hours later-
"Hey Danny, just came to see if you needed help on your-" Jack stopped short in the doorway of Daniel's office. "-report... Wow Daniel, that's a nice look for you." He grinned. Daniel's face turned bright red as he snatched off the red-polka dotted bow on his head that Po was wearing on the screen and hid his Tinkey Winkey doll behind him.
"Jack! Uh...ever heard of knocking?" Daniel said nervously. "Obviously you did. You must have knocked your head out." Jack grinned. "Damn. Where's a camera when you need it?"
"What are you doing here, Jack?" Daniel asked, shifting over to his desk and stuffing the doll and bow underneath it. "Well, I just wanted to know if you needed help on your mission report. It was a long mission. A VERY long mission..." he trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.
"You're asking ME if I need help from YOU?" Daniel repeated slowly, staring at Jack. There was a pause.
"Ok, ok, I need you to let me see yours! I'll give it back, I promise! I can't write boring stuff like this! That's what you're good at!" he pleaded. Daniel stared at him. "PLEASE!" Jack asked getting down on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him.
"Well, Jack, I would love to help you but..." He searched for an explanation other than the truth. Jack would never understand. Jack got up. "You haven't written it yet, have you?" Daniel guiltily shook his head. "What the hell have you been doing for the past 5 hours?" Jack's eyes shifted to the screen behind Daniel, where the Teletubbies were skipping across a field of flowers. A huge grin spread over his face. "Daniel...?" he said slowly. Daniel stared at the floor. "Have you been watching the Teletubbies for the past five hours?"
"It's a marathon, Jack! All the good episodes from the first two seasons!" "Wow. I didn't even know they had at least ONE season. Didn't they get canceled like, in the first month?" Daniel glared at Jack. "Due to some unfit executives, the Teletubbies were rudely taken off the air. But since Barney was canceled this week they decided to show a marathon of the old days. Stupid purple dinosaur..." Daniel's eyes narrowed and his hands turned to fists.
"Oooookkkk... Daniel, you need to get started on that. It's due tomorrow morning. And it wasn't the simplest mission." "But Jack, the Teletubbies are still on!" "No buts Daniel! That's an order." With that, Jack walked out of the office and headed for Sam. She'd have a nice report he could copy.
Daniel plopped down on his chair and pouted. It wasn't fair! He never got to see the Teletubbies on TV. Sure, he had every single episode on DVD at home, but it wasn't the same. He sighed. At least Jack hadn't found his voodoo Barney doll. He had left the wrench in an unpleasant position. Thinking about, Daniel crossed his legs.
He sighed again and picked up his pencil. He figured that he'd write it as quickly as possible and be able to watch the last few episodes. HE started to write.
"The mission to P4X-3277 was very eventful."
~~Daniel~~
Daniel's head snapped up from his paper. Did he just hear his name? He listened again but nothing happened. So he turned back to his report.
~~Daniel~~
This time he new he heard it. Unless he was crazy. Or Urgo had decided to come back. In which case they could both watch Teletubbies! He smiled and looked at the TV. He felt a longing that only a man who longed for something could feel. He knew he was supposed to be working on the report, but he couldn't... He glanced at the door. Just one episode wouldn't hurt. Giggling like a schoolboy he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
"Ooh! It's my favorite episode!" he giggled as Po pulled a light pink tutu up to her waist. He sighed. "Too bad I can't be part of their world..." He touched the screen longingly. Suddenly a bright green light washed over him.
"Oh, and Daniel I-" Jack strode into Daniel's office and stopped short. He looked around. In a full circle. "Daniel?" He looked over and saw the TV on. Grinning, he turned it off. He stopped for a moment. A light bulb went off in his head and he grinned even wider. He quickly trotted out of the office.
~*~*~*~*~*
Liss: Lol, ok, it's not that funny and random, but it's only the first chapter. It'll get better!
What happened to Daniel?
What's Jack's evil idea?
Will Barney replace the Teletubbies's marathon?
Tune in for the next chapter!
Liss: Ok, this idea came to me...just now actually. *giggle* I was on this awesome site looking for a Stargate pic for my computer wallpaper. They are captions from random episodes and the people have added speech bubbles and such. It's really funny! And one of them was Daniel staring intently at something and Jack was standing behind him. Jack's speech bubble says, "Too much TV rots your brain, Daniel. Go outside and play." And Daniel's says, "Another hour, please Jack. The Teletubbies are next!" So that gave me an idea...
Note: I do NOT watch the Teletubbies. I only saw TWO EPISODES at my cousin's house because she loves them. And I was forced to! She pulls hard...*cradles hair* So don't get any ideas!
WARNING: BEWARE OF RANDOMNESS. You have been warned.
~*~*~*~*~*
"I want a full mission report by 0600 hours. Dismissed," General Hammond said. SG-1 walked out of the debriefing room. Teal'c headed to his room for kelno'reem. Sam walked off to her lab with her head stuffed in some papers. General Hammond went into his office and picked up his red phone. Jack didn't waste any time. He went straight to the commissary for some pie and jello before having a go at his gameboy.
Daniel poked his head out the doorframe and checked that no one was looking. He opened his book on ancient Sumerian cuneiforms to a random page and buried his head in it. He then walked as slow as he could to his office, trying to act as natural as he always was when he wasn't looking where he was going. He reached his office door and stepped inside, quickly closing the door behind him. He threw his book aside and grinned.
"Aaah! Teletubbies!"
He flopped down in front of his wide-screen TV (thanks to federal funding) and turned it on to channel 4. Sighing heavily but happily, he stared at the baby-faced sun as it rose over the perfect green field of flowers.
Ten minutes later, when it had risen to its full height (two inches since its starting point), the picture moved to the fields, where the rabbits and flowers were just starting to wake. Daniel grinned as the red flower opened up to the sun. He loved that flower.
Just then, the big dome-shaped thing in the middle of the field opened up and the four Teletubbies bounced out. First Po walked up to the screen, pushing a small cart-like thing. She waved to the camera. Daniel waved back, a giddy grin on his face. Po's name flashed across the screen in bright red. Next, Tinkey Winkey bounded up to the camera as his name flashed across the screen in purple. Daniel got up from his seat, opened his door, checked that no one was there, shut the door, and made his way over to a shelf of old artifacts. He rapped on the top of the shelf with his knuckles and the whole shelf flipped over, revealing a small door on the bottom of the shelf. Daniel opened the door and pulled out the contents with a big smile.
He sank back into his chair with his life-size purple over-stuffed Tinkey Winkey plush doll and sighed happily as Tinkey Winkey waved. Next came the yellow Teletubbie. La La bounced up to the screen and giggled. She waved with both of her three-fingered hands. Daniel smiled. She was so happy. And yellow. Extremely yellow.
The last Teletubbie to come was Dipsy. The acid green Teletubbie waved to the camera and hopped off to join his friends. Next the all waved. Daniel waved back. He was the happiest man alive.
-5 hours later-
"Hey Danny, just came to see if you needed help on your-" Jack stopped short in the doorway of Daniel's office. "-report... Wow Daniel, that's a nice look for you." He grinned. Daniel's face turned bright red as he snatched off the red-polka dotted bow on his head that Po was wearing on the screen and hid his Tinkey Winkey doll behind him.
"Jack! Uh...ever heard of knocking?" Daniel said nervously. "Obviously you did. You must have knocked your head out." Jack grinned. "Damn. Where's a camera when you need it?"
"What are you doing here, Jack?" Daniel asked, shifting over to his desk and stuffing the doll and bow underneath it. "Well, I just wanted to know if you needed help on your mission report. It was a long mission. A VERY long mission..." he trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.
"You're asking ME if I need help from YOU?" Daniel repeated slowly, staring at Jack. There was a pause.
"Ok, ok, I need you to let me see yours! I'll give it back, I promise! I can't write boring stuff like this! That's what you're good at!" he pleaded. Daniel stared at him. "PLEASE!" Jack asked getting down on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him.
"Well, Jack, I would love to help you but..." He searched for an explanation other than the truth. Jack would never understand. Jack got up. "You haven't written it yet, have you?" Daniel guiltily shook his head. "What the hell have you been doing for the past 5 hours?" Jack's eyes shifted to the screen behind Daniel, where the Teletubbies were skipping across a field of flowers. A huge grin spread over his face. "Daniel...?" he said slowly. Daniel stared at the floor. "Have you been watching the Teletubbies for the past five hours?"
"It's a marathon, Jack! All the good episodes from the first two seasons!" "Wow. I didn't even know they had at least ONE season. Didn't they get canceled like, in the first month?" Daniel glared at Jack. "Due to some unfit executives, the Teletubbies were rudely taken off the air. But since Barney was canceled this week they decided to show a marathon of the old days. Stupid purple dinosaur..." Daniel's eyes narrowed and his hands turned to fists.
"Oooookkkk... Daniel, you need to get started on that. It's due tomorrow morning. And it wasn't the simplest mission." "But Jack, the Teletubbies are still on!" "No buts Daniel! That's an order." With that, Jack walked out of the office and headed for Sam. She'd have a nice report he could copy.
Daniel plopped down on his chair and pouted. It wasn't fair! He never got to see the Teletubbies on TV. Sure, he had every single episode on DVD at home, but it wasn't the same. He sighed. At least Jack hadn't found his voodoo Barney doll. He had left the wrench in an unpleasant position. Thinking about, Daniel crossed his legs.
He sighed again and picked up his pencil. He figured that he'd write it as quickly as possible and be able to watch the last few episodes. HE started to write.
"The mission to P4X-3277 was very eventful."
~~Daniel~~
Daniel's head snapped up from his paper. Did he just hear his name? He listened again but nothing happened. So he turned back to his report.
~~Daniel~~
This time he new he heard it. Unless he was crazy. Or Urgo had decided to come back. In which case they could both watch Teletubbies! He smiled and looked at the TV. He felt a longing that only a man who longed for something could feel. He knew he was supposed to be working on the report, but he couldn't... He glanced at the door. Just one episode wouldn't hurt. Giggling like a schoolboy he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
"Ooh! It's my favorite episode!" he giggled as Po pulled a light pink tutu up to her waist. He sighed. "Too bad I can't be part of their world..." He touched the screen longingly. Suddenly a bright green light washed over him.
"Oh, and Daniel I-" Jack strode into Daniel's office and stopped short. He looked around. In a full circle. "Daniel?" He looked over and saw the TV on. Grinning, he turned it off. He stopped for a moment. A light bulb went off in his head and he grinned even wider. He quickly trotted out of the office.
~*~*~*~*~*
Liss: Lol, ok, it's not that funny and random, but it's only the first chapter. It'll get better!
What happened to Daniel?
What's Jack's evil idea?
Will Barney replace the Teletubbies's marathon?
Tune in for the next chapter!