"Like, oh my gawd," a very very plain and ugly girl shouted, "like, why is no hot guy here to like, save my ass?" this plain and ugly girl, whose name happened to be Bella shrieked as Eliat charged towards her on foot, horse in the distance. An equally plain and ugly boy heard the ugly girl's pleas and came running, "Like, Edward, you are like, totally here to like, save my ass!" The ugly boy, whose name was conveniently Edward jumped at Eliat's back, only for Eliat to whirl around and stab him in the stomach, "Like, ewww there is all this like, icky blood and stuff. That is like, so gross and stuff. I totally like, do not love you any more." Falling to the ground, Edward died. Bella, realizing that there was now no one to distract Eliat from his killing spree, went back to shrieking.
Another boy jumped out of the bushes, a boy that appeared to have not shaved in ten thousand years, "Do not fear, Bella!" he shouted in his voice that had not yet reached puberty, "Jacob is here!"
"Ewww, you are like, hairy and stuff," Bella whined and Eliat turned around to face the hairy Jacob boy, dashing towards him and cutting open his abdomen, "Ewww," Bella continued to whine, "that is like, a lot more blood than from Edward. That is like, so totally gross," Sobbing, Jacob died.
Once again, Eliat turned to Bella, a wicked grin on his face and the plain and ugly girl started crying, "Like, some one totally needs to save my ass. I am like, far too pretty to do anything to protect myself. I mean, just like, look at me. I am so like totally gorgeous."
"That is totally correct Bella!" Another teenager shouted, falling out of a conveniently placed tree, "You are much too gorgeous to save yourself or to do anything of real importance. That is why I, Mike, have come to rescue you! Now you have to love me!" Bella continued to cry and shriek.
"You are like, far too ugly to even come with in breathing distance of me," she commanded, "Do I like, have to get a restraining order on your ass? Because I like, do not hang out with anyone less pretty than me. Which is like, every one." Disheartened, Mike turned to leave, only to have a knife thrown into his back by a very pissed off Eliat.
"Like, oh my gawd, now this guy is like, totally going to like, kill me!" Bella sobbed, "I do not think there could possibly be like, any other teenagers in close distance to our current location that could hear my sexy cries for help. Like, help! I am like, way too pretty to die."
And just when Eliat thought that no more stupid hormonal teenage boys could appear, another one came tumbling out of a shrubbery, grinning widely, "You shall finally forgive me for almost running you over!" the boy shouted, "And then you shall fall madly in love with me, or my name is not Tyler! Which it is!"
"Like, oh my gawd, Tyler, this is like, totally not the time to be like, trying to make me forgive you. Can you like, not see that I am about to be like, totally slaughtered here?" Bella rolled her eyes, "You are also like, totally ugly and your car is like, totally not as sexy as me." Before Tyler knew it, he was bleeding externally and internally and collapsed onto the ground, "Ew ew ew ew, like, I like, never want to see this much blood like, ever again!" Bella shouted.
Finally satisfied that the flood of teenage boys had ended, Eliat turned towards Bella for the final time, a grin on his face, "Bye bye, bitch." He brought his blade down over her, blood splattering onto the ground.