The Silent Sister
Renee flew into her room in a flurry of flames and tears. She collapsed onto the bed, face down amidst the clean white sheets. Opening her eyes, she saw the pallor of the soft coverings and screamed. There it was again - the icy hands of Death creeping to her face, reaching out to stroke her cheek.
"Careful," warned Raziel. "You'll wake them up."
The angel was perched on the end of her bed, his crimson wings wrapped around him like a blanket. Renee rolled over, moaning.
"Just kill me," she begged. "Just let me die already."
"You know I could never do that," Raziel said evenly. "Get up and stop whining."
"I wish I'd never been born!" Renee screamed, turning onto her back dramatically. "I wish I could kill myself!"
Raziel sighed. "If only. I have thought that many times too. But we must bear it, my daughter. We must bear it."
Renee groaned and started to say something, but she heard the echo of wings and knew the angel had left.
There was a knock at the door. Renee wiped her eyes and called, "Come in!"
A skinny black-haired boy entered. He looked concerned.
"Are you okay?" Alec asked. Renee snorted.
"Am I okay? What about Jace? I almost killed him, and you're asking if I'm okay?"
Alec sat tentatively on the bed next to her. "I heard voices in here - I came to check on you. As for Jace, he'll be fine. He likes the attention, anyway."
Renee brushed her hair out of her face. "It's just ... I didn't mean to hurt him," she protested. "I thought it would work."
"Hey," Alec said. "You just wanted to experiment with your stele. It's not your fault that you're curious."
"No!" Renee yelled, her rage emerging. "Sorry - no. I've tried that rune on myself before and it's always worked."
Alec looked startled at this. Just then he clutched his forehead. "I don't suppose you have any tonic handy?" he asked, forcing a smile.
Renee frowned. "No. I can make you some if you'd like, but you really should tell Hodge."
Alec grunted, massaging his head. "Hodge can't make it as well as you," he argued. "Besides, I don't want him to blab to my parents."
Renee sighed. "I suppose," she relented. "I'll leave it outside your door."
Alec nodded wearily. He hugged her and left.
Renee grabbed her seraph and a goblet by her bed. She dug in her satchel for her last vial of holy water. Then she spread a handkerchief over her desk and placed the goblet on top. She filled it with holy water, about a third of the cup. Taking her seraph blade, she whispered, "Raziel," and the blade illuminated. She struck her wrist. The blood that poured was gold and red; it ran in little rivers down her hand, dropping into the cup at her fingertips. Renee let it fall until she was satisfied and swirled the goblet around, making a pale gold colour. Sighing, Renee cleaned the cut with the handkerchief and drew the healing rune on her forearm. She lay back on her bed.
No one invited her to dinner, not even Alec. Renee would have turned them down anyway. She flipped through the Gray Book, admiring the runes. Sometimes she doodled on the pages, adding her own Marks and changing the existing ones.
On the wall, her clock read nine. She picked up the goblet and knocked on the door next to hers. There was no answer. Renee put the goblet at the threshold and returned to her room.
At midnight, she was still awake. She donned a robe and knocked on Alec's door again.
He was wearing pajamas, but they were fresh and his hair was neat. "Couldn't sleep?"
Renee shook her head. Alec closed the door behind her.
They curled up in his bed side by side, and she put her arm around him. "I came earlier," Renee said. "Where were you?"
Alec sighed. "I was in the infirmary - visiting Jace."
"Oh."
Alec gave a little moan and closed his eyes, leaning back. "Wren," he started. "Wren, he wants me to - for us to be ... parabatai."
Renee said nothing. "And?" she prompted finally.
"Wren, I -" Alec looked at her, and his eyes said what words could not. I love him.
"I know," said Renee.
She took his hand and prayed to her father. Please, Raziel, she begged, show me something to help him.
There was a little flicker of hesitation, then the images churned before her: a cat's eyed warlock, smiling at an older Alec and winking, then his door as the warlock went in. Renee didn't have time to read all of it, though, before the images were ripped from her eyes like film from a projector.
"Wren?" Alec was looking at her, a mix of concern and wariness on his face. It hurt to see that.
"Go to sleep," she whispered.
Alec lay back on his pillow, but he looked uncertain. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"
Renee nodded urgently. "I won't," she agreed. "I swear it on my father."
Alec closed his eyes, comforted, but just before he slipped into the subconscious he murmured, "You're father's dead."
Renee turned over and thought, If only he was.
She awoke early and slipped out, grabbing her now empty goblet as she went. Maryse and Robert, being traditional, would never have approved of their relationship. Alec and Renee were just friends, but even being friends with Renee Matyre was dangerous.
Renee remained in her room all day, drawing runes and occasionally making the Marks on her arms. She drew ones for Memory, Craft, Luck; but mostly she drew Pain. It hurt, but they were like bee stings - silver pinpricks that vanished in seconds. The pain on her skin seemed to numb her heart; she wanted to avenge Jace, and wanted to hurt her father. Her stupid father, who'd had an affair with her Shadowhunter mother, then let her die as she bore her immortal child, and let her live as a freak amidst people who cared nothing for her.
Bored with beestings, Renee paged through the Gray Book. She glanced at a rune and froze. Agony.
Maybe it would be enough.
Hands trembling, Renee carved the rune into her skin.
She felt nothing, but a scream poured from her lips anyway. There was no pain, nor any other sensation - Renee could only imagine that her nerves had been shot.
The scream increased. Renee began to twitch, writhing on her bed. She worried someone would hear; no one must hear. Feverishly she flipped through the Gray Book, looking for something to stop it. She scratched the healing rune onto her forearm, but her stele mad a jagged, uncontrolled line down her arm as her hand twitched. She could feel her throat grow hoarse, feel the flames of agony creep through her body; she had to stop the scream, the scream that had been building up for years but only now unleashed itself.
Losing controlled thought, Renee made one last attempt at a Mark. She dizzily scribbled upon her bare leg, a basic rune that meant "Silence". As soon as the rune was complete, Renee felt her lips fuse together, and her eyes roll back in her head. For only an instant she felt the torture that must have been coursing through her body - then it was over.
First her sight returned, but the scene was only in the back of her mind, watered down and delayed. Tentatively she touched her eyes and found empty skin, the hollows where her eyes had once been now completely frozen over by flesh.
Touching the rest of her face gingerly, she discovered that her mouth had been fused shut. She felt jagged stitches across her lips, pulling them together. Slowly, carefully, she faced the mirror. Her hair, raven black and streaked with red, was the only unchanged thing in her appearance. Her naturally fair skin had paled drastically, turning a bluish white; and her fingers, which she raised to her accentuated cheekbones, had thinned to bonelike sticks, while her knuckles bulged prominently.
Renee screamed, a sound that resonated through her mind and twisted in the air, unheard by mortal ears - only perceived through the soul. It penetrated the walls and, quite suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Terrified someone would see her, Renee flung a cloak over her shoulders and pulled up the hood. In it, she felt like a ghost - white and shrouded in darkness. She eased the door open a crack.
It was Alec. "Wren?" he asked cautiously. "Is that you?"
Fear welled up in her throat. She hesitated - then pulled his shoulder.
"What are you -?" He broke off, fighting her. "Hodge will wonder where I am!"
Renee slammed the door. She reached up and pulled her hood back, shaking her long straight hair free. She didn't want to look at Alec, but she forced her head up.
Alec's eyes widened drastically, showing his pale blue irises. His face read a single emotion: surprise. Renee was unsure whether that was a good thing.
I'm sorry, she thought hopelessly. Alec touched his forehead gently, as if something odd had brushed it.
"Don't be," he assured her. "What happened?" He showed no fear, but his voice trembled like dry leaves.
Focusing her mind on the words, Renee thought as hard as she could, I used the Silence rune.
Alec's jaw dropped. "Show it to me," he said.
Renee flipped through her discarded Gray Book until she found it. She pointed a gnarled finger.
Alec gasped. "That's the Silence rune - my parents told me about it. It's very dangerous, and it's a big deal if you use it. The only people who survive it join a group called the Silent Brothers. They're all ... like you now."
Deformed? Renee suggested bitterly.
Alec frowned, but he didn't argue. "I thought they were all boys, though."
Renee was silent - which she now exceeded at.
"Wren," Alec started, "we need to tell someone - Hodge or my parents or -"
No. Renee's thought was cold and final. We'll go to the Silent Brothers.
"But - how?" Alec asked. "We don't know where it is, and how would we get there if we did?"
Renee closed her mind so that even her sight was gone. Father, show me the Silent Brothers, she prayed. She saw the city at night, felt her sight zoom in to a statue, and watched as its eyes opened into darkness. The vision cut off abruptly.
I know where it is, Renee told Alec.
"But how will we get there?" he repeated.
Renee grabbed her stele and twirled it in her fingers. We fly.
Alec paled. "Isn't that - wasn't that the rune you used - tried to use on Jace?"
It will work on us, Renee insisted. She lifted her stele, but Alec grasped her wrist.
"I'm not sure," he said, and there was a firmness in his voice that hadn't been there before. "What's different about us from Jace?"
Renee couldn't honestly answer that question. Then don't go. I'll find it myself.
"No," protested Alec. He reached out again, but Renee shook him off. She pulled up her sleeve and began the Winged rune. It was a looping, carefree Mark, with flowing lines that danced across her milky skin. She had done the Mark before, but it retained its magical quality. She let the rune's power flow through her veins gravitating to her shoulder blades. It pushed at her flesh, surging against her muscles, coursing to emerge. Then emerge it did, in the form of two shimmering charcoal wings. Renee flapped them twice, and as the light caught them they glistened crimson. The only thing missing was the sound, of beating feathers and windswept hair.
Alec's cheeks were flushed with astonishment. He reached out to touch a feather, and stroked it with a gentleness that was unknown and unwelcome in Shadowhunters.
See? Renee gloated. I don't know why it didn't work on Jace - though she did - but it works on us.
Alec probably would have protested if it weren't for the fact that he might be getting wings. He sighed and held out his left hand. Renee drew the Mark on him, with the same swirling dance of lines. She stepped back soundlessly and waited for the wings to show.
They were pale blue, the colour of his eyes, and shimmered jet black as they moved. His wings were slightly smaller than Renee's, making him look less ... angelic. Alec flapped them clumsily, but for him the whoosh of air was audible.
"This is amazing," he marveled. Renee nodded agreement. She opened the door.
"We're going through the Institute? But ... are you sure?" Alec whispered.
Renee nodded. She flew low in the corridor, beating her wings silently. Alec followed, louder and more clumsily.
They passed the library and the infirmary. In the former, Isabelle sat alone with Hodge, looking bored as she doodled runes on a piece of scrap paper. In the infirmary, Jace lay in bed idly. Renee caught a glimpse of a fading Mark on his forearm and immediately felt guilty.
They reached the door and Alec held it open for her. Renee tried to give him a smile of thanks, but her mouth felt stretched and unnatural so she dropped it.
"Ready?" Alec asked her. Renee nodded. Together, they soared over the gate, Alec's smaller wings fluttering hard to keep up.
They flew over Manhattan in the light of the setting sun, but only one pair of beating wings was audible. Even Renee's heartbeat was silent.
Just as the last rays of sunlight disappeared, Alec's wings vanished. He screamed as he fell, a ripping shriek of fear. Renee flew faster than he fell, dropping like a stone. She grabbed his arm and continued to drop, slower but still at a wild pace.
When they were a foot from the ground Renee's wings disappeared as well. They tumbled to the ground, but Renee's fall was silent. She helped Alec up and turned around. There loomed a great statue of Raziel, holding the Mortal Cup with closed eyes.
Alec frowned at it. "What now?"
In one swift motion, Renee grabbed a dagger out from Alec's belt. he reached to stop her, but she pulled away. She slashed a thin line across her wrist and let the blood drip into the goblet; in the darkness it looked brown, but Renee knew what it really was.
Blood of the Nephilim, she explained. It should work as a key.
Sure enough, Raziel's eyes opened as though he had awoken from his slumber. The earth split at his feet, revealing a set of stairs descending into darkness. Renee stepped onto them without hesitation and Alec followed, slower than her.
The wall was lined with torches, leading ever downward. Below, where shadows overpowered light, indistinct figures dressed in pale robes moved, looking like twinkling stars amidst the folds of blackness.
Renee and Alec were greeted at the foot of the stairs by a tall, wraith-like brother. We were not expecting you, he told them. Shadowhunters are not to come without appointment.
Alec's fear played across his face clearly. "This is kind of an emergency."
Renee removed her hood and let the brother see her face.
You are female? he spoke in her mind. Alec appeared not to have heard anything. Renee nodded. No female has ever survived the transformation - not many men, either.
I am Brother Jeremiah, the brother added, and this time Alec nodded as if he'd heard.
I am Renee Matyre, Renee said mentally.
They walked further in before the Brother Jeremiah turned to Alec, a cold firmness in his nearly expressionless face. You have delivered your package, Shadowhunter, he said. Now go.
Alec trembled as he spoke. "You're just as much of a Shadowhunter as I am," he replied, in an attempt to be brave. "I want to stay."
Brother Jeremiah looked sour but did not object. He continued walking, and Alec and Renee followed.
The entire city was silent except for Alec's footsteps, which seemed deafening by comparison as they echoed in the din.
They entered a hall inlaid with decorations of stars that seemed to dance across the floor. Brother Jeremiah spread his arms, his robes plummeting downward like the wings of a great white bat. He stood like that for a few seconds, and from the way the rest of the brothers looked at him Renee supposed he was commun-icating with them.
A few seconds more, and Brother Jeremiah turned back to Renee. The brothers nodded soundlessly in unison. Renee Matyre, Jeremiah spoke in her mind, you shall join our ranks as a Silent Brother.
There was a cold shock that jolted through Renee, like being plunged into ice water. Then, as though someone had pulled a lever, she heard the chatter of a thousand silent, wispy voices - the brothers as they spoke.
Alec looked at her sheepishly. "I guess ... I guess I should be getting back now," he mumbled.
Renee nodded. I can mark you with the Winged rune again, if you'd like, she offered.
Alec looked tense. "It's just ... what if it doesn't work on me this time? It nearly killed Jace, so maybe it's just dumb luck."
Renee almost laughed, but her present body seemed to reject the motion. Haven't you figured it out? The wings, the tonic - surely you've guessed.
Alec looked truly perplexed. Renee gave an inward sigh and showed where the last traces of blood lingered on her wrist. See? she continued. That's angel blood. My father is Raziel.
Alec stood, quiet as a Silent Brother, in shock and disbelief. "The - the tonic?" he asked dazedly.
Blood mixed with holy water, Renee explained evenly. You have more angel blood than nearly any Shadowhunter.
Alec looked repulsed, and Renee felt a flush of shame in the small part of her soul that remained mortal.
"That's why I could stand the Mark?" Alec asked. Renee nodded. There was a full stop.
"I'd better go," he said awkwardly. Renee could see him clearly in the back of her mind that was now her sight. She knew he would never come back to see her, would cut off all ties to her. She grabbed his hand and projected the visions Raziel had shown her, of the amber-eyed warlock who'd winked at Alec.
The vision shut off and Alec stumbled back. "Magnus - Magnus Bane?" he gasped, but Renee had left him.
That night, as she slipped into her white robe, Raziel visited her for the last time. "You could have been great, you know," he told her. "You would have been the most powerful Shadowhunter alive."
And yet I chose this, Renee replied. She turned to the angel. Are you angry, Father?
"Not angry," Raziel answered, "just rather surprised. You should have been a mundane, with your humility. There is no place for modest Shadowhunters."
Renee looked up at the towering ceilings of the Silent City, and watched the brothers glide smoothly through the halls. Yes, there is.