I've seen a lot of these done in lots of different fandoms, and since I have some free time, but not a lot, I thought I'd try one. Then I upped the anti and wrote for the two characters I like least, combined it with something I've never done (drinking), and something I just plain suck at (comedy.) And that's how this here fic was born. I like a challenge. I'm not sure, but I hope someone, somewhere, will enjoy it.
"Leo! Hey, I need some advice. Is Don around?"
"Oh ha ha. What's up? I thought you were hanging out with Casey and Raph tonight."
"Yeah, well, Raph is setting up. Casey decided we were gonna need a lot more booze and went out to pick some up. Don't tell Raph I said this, but I think I'm starting to get cold feet…"
"Mikey, we've been over this. If you want to have a drink, do it. It's not as big a deal as you're making it out to be, trust me."
"If I change my mind now, Raph won't ever let me live it down! He'll tease me about it until we're old an grey, Leo! Do you know how long it's going to take for us to get old and grey?"
"No he won't. He might make a few jabs just because Casey's there, but knowing them, they'll be happy. More for them."
"I guess…Are you playing Rampage? You're totally playing Rampage right now, aren't you? I can hear it."
"Rampage 2. Don and I are taking turns. I'm trying to beat his high score."
"Ah sweet! Where'd you find it?"
"Some box. There were a few other games in there, but a lot of them were covered with mold and we decided to toss them."
"Lame. Listen, when you guys are done, put it somewhere I can find it. I might want to play it later. How come you'll play games with Don, but not with me? I thought they weren't your thing."
"Hold on…there! I like to play them, sometimes. You and Raph just rush through the level like idiots. You don't even do half the quests. The way you guys do it, it's no fun. So every once in a while when you two are gone Donny and I team up and try one out."
"It's way funnier to mess around with all the glitches and cheat codes, but hey, tomato, tomato… What if it tastes funny and I don't like it?"
"What?"
"The beer. What if I don't like the taste? What if I don't do it right?"
"You'll catch on."
"This is what happens when you don't decide things for me."
"I told you to go and have fun."
"But—"
"You don't have to get drunk, you know. You can always mix it with a soda or something."
"That's a great idea, bro! But hearing it from you kinda weirds me out."
"That's what I do when Raph won't leave me alone about it. Hey, I gotta go. Stay safe, and relax."
"Who knew beer pong rocked so hard! And you we're right! Gagtastic on it's own, but when combined with soda, this stuff is pretty good."
"That's great, Mikey."
"You sound distracted. How's game night going?"
"We got bored playing Rampage2, now we're playing Mario."
"Aww, I love Mario. Which one?"
"Whichever one we have. How's Raph, is he behaving?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. We're taking a break, watching one of the Rocky movies. Casey bought some other stuff they keep bugging me to try, but I think I'll pass. I'm good with what I got."
"Is that Casey? What's he yelling about?"
"Sylvester Stalone's giving Milo Ventimiglia that father-son speech and I'm missing it. Not like you can understand a word the guy is saying, anyway. Check ya later."
"Didn't Raph throw up in my face once?"
"Uh, Mikey?"
"Don? What are you doing in Leo's phone?"
"What? You're not drunk already, are you? Wow, you're a lightweight."
"I am not drunk, Donatello. It's just a buzz. And it feels amazing! All my senses are heightened. I feel like Wolverine, or Spiderman or something."
"Stop shouting! Jeez. What do you want?"
"Puh. Rude. I wanted to talk to Leo—"
"Great, because I really can't talk right now."
"But since you're here, I'll talk to you instead."
"Make it quick."
"Sure thing. Do you remember that one time Raph threw up in my face? You know, back when we used to share a room. We were all on the floor and he was in that hammock you put together, then out of nowhere, Raph just leans over the edge and Raaggughghhahh. Right in my face!"
"Yeah, I remember… Why?"
"See! Don says he remembers. What? Oh. Casey says hey, and thanks for letting him borrow your tools. He's gonna send me and Raph home with them."
"No prob… Don't you want to get back to whatever it is you were doing?"
"What? Nah, it's cool. I've got time."
"Well, I don't. Goodnight."
"Donny wait—!"
'Wild Wild West, Jim West, desperado, rough rider. No you don't want nada, none of this, six gun in this, brotha runnin this, Buffalo soldier, look it's like I told ya…'
"Um. Hello?"
"Wild wild west!"
"Hello?"
'When I stroll into the…' "Wild wild west!"
"Raph? Casey? Hello! I don't know, I think someone pocket dialed me…it sounds like someone's trying to skin a cat. I'm gonna use my better judgement and hang up."
"It's two in the morning, this better be good."
"I can't feel my face."
"What?"
"I can't feel my face! Raph and Casey started punching each other, an I got a little carried away and threw a chair at him and he punched me in the face and now I can't feel it, Leo!"
"Stop punching each other!"
"Can you come get me?"
"What? Why? It's two in the morning, just go to sleep."
"But what if I die in my sleep or something?"
"Why would you die in your sleep?"
"I don't know! Maybe when Raph punched me I started bleeding into my brain or something. That can happen, you know, ask Donny."
"You're not going to bleed into your brain."
"Please, Leo? Just come get me."
"Hypothetically speaking, if you were bleeding into your brain, which you aren't, it would happen here, too."
"But... then you and Donny'd be here. Please, Leo? I'm really scared here, dude!"
"No, Mikey. I'm sorry, I'm not coming."
"Send Don! He'll do it!"
"He would do it, and that's exactly why I'm not sending him. You're drunk, you're paranoid, but you are not bleeding into your brain. Just go to bed. You'll be fine, I promise."
"Fine, but if I die, I'm going to haunt the crap out of you."
"Goodnight, Mikey. Go to bed."
"I thought I told you to go to bed!"
"Eh?"
"Oh, Raph. I thought you were Mikey."
"Nah. He's busy."
"He went to bed? Good."
"What? No."
"You guys aren't done yet?"
"Done? Drinking? Yeah, we quit hours ago."
"So why are you calling? Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, it's fine, but listen to this!"—'Huurghhh…pllagh!'— "Mikey's sicker'n a dog. He's been tossin' his cookies for a while now. It's pretty funny."
"That's a horrible thing to say. He's your brother."
"Ah, shut it. I told'm to pace himself, but he wouldn't listen."
'Is that Don?' "It's Leo." 'Even better. Tell him Mikey ain't allowed over here no more.' "Casey says—"
"Yeah, I heard. Look, just be nice to him. It's his first time, he's probably scared to death right now."
"Ain't like he's never puked before, Leo."
"I know, but you know Mikey. His imagination runs wild."
"I guess."
"I mean it, Raph. Be nice. And get to sleep! I don't know how you guys stay up so late."
"Don't tell me what to do, Fearless."
"Finally! I've been calling for an hour."
"Hm…Leo?"
"Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Don't know. Can't see. Blinds…drawn. Darkness good."
"It's three in the afternoon. Sensei's been worried. Come evening, you two better high tail it home. Mikey? Are you even listening to me?"
"High noon in Rome, yeah, I heard you. Your voice makes my brain quiver… like jello."
"I told you to stick with mixed drinks."
"Raph and Casey are very persuasive."
"Maybe when you're drunk to begin with."
"Look you can be a jerk all you want when we get home, but right now, sleep is my master, and unless the next thing out of your mouth is how to make my head stop hurting, I'm hanging up."
"When Raph and Casey come to in a couple of hours, they're going to try and tell you drinking again is the best cure. Don't listen. Load up on water."
"My hero."
"So, was it worth it?"
"Oh, yeah. But I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon."
"I'm proud of you, Mikey. You made a decision on your own, tried something new, and even though I'm sure Raph and Casey were harassing you the whole night, decided it wasn't for you."
"Can you be proud a little more quietly? That'd be great."
"Sorry."
"So, are we done? Because my head really hurts."
"Yeah, we're done. Rest up, little brother. You're gonna need it."
"Leo? Why am I gonna need it?"
"Because I just made high score on Super Mario Bros. Sleep tight."