"Finally!" Shane exclaimed, as Amy returned to her own bedroom. He sat up on her bed, eager to hear about her first date. "So, was it love at first sight?"
Amy sighed and dropped her bag at her feet. "She was really cool. I was a hot mess."
Shane wouldn't be deterred. "Okay, moving on! Internet dating is a numbers game. Let's get back on the horse!" He grabbed Amy's tablet off the nightstand, ready to find her another date.
"I don't want to meet another girl," Amy said, crossing her arms with determination.
"A boy?" Shane asked eagerly.
"I don't want to meet another boy."
Shane furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "That limits your options."
"That won't make these feelings for Karma go away," Amy sighed.
Trying to hold back a smile, Shane shrugged. "Well then at least we know what you are." Amy cocked an eyebrow, clearly lost. Shane lost his internal battle and grinned. "You're a karmasexual."
Unamused, Amy face-planted onto her bed. "That's not a thing," she muttered.
Shane chuckled. "It is if you want it to be." Amy rolled over, looking at her new friend for an explanation.
Shane adjusted himself to face her and patted the bed in front of him. "Come here." Amy sat up, frustrated and confused, and faced him. He reached out for her hands and looked at her with a calculating expression. "This is going to be some of the best advice I can possibly offer you, so listen up, because I'm not often this serious." Amy looked on with new interest and leaned in, still holding his hands.
"Here's a little known fact about sexuality. Straight, gay, and bisexual aren't the only options in the label maker. There's plenty of undetermined and in between. And you, Ms. Amy I-Don't-Know-Your-Middle-Name Raudenfeld, will not let anyone tell you who or what you are. When, or even if, you decide to name what you're feeling, it will be on your own terms. Understood?" Amy nodded, relieved, but still a little confused.
Shane smiled and squeezed her hands. "Good. Now that that's out of the way, prepare yourself for advice numero dos." He took a deep and dramatic pause, his grin growing wider by the second. Amy half-expected to hear a drumroll.
"It doesn't fucking matter!" Shane yelled. Amy dropped his hands in surprise and sat up straighter.
Shane chuckled and leaned in further. "People are so damn eager to name and categorize everyone and everything. It can be nice to feel like you can describe exactly who you are with words that other people can understand. But nobody needs that! The only truly important part of your situation right now is that you, my oh-so-fascinating friend, are in love. Whether the object of your adorable affections is a boy, a girl, transanything, genderqueer, questioning, fluid, somewhere in between, none of the above, or a goddamn alien, it doesn't change the fact that you, for better or worse, are in love. No matter what anyone defines themselves as, that is the ultimate goal. To fall flat-on-your-face, undeniably, over-the-moon, unconditionally in love with another person. And you," Shane concluded, poking her affectionately on the knee, "got there before I did, so I'm officially jealous."
Amy took a deep breath and smiled despite herself. No matter what any of this meant for her sexuality now or in the future, her feelings for Karma were at least one hundred percent clear. Confusion gave way to desire, and then to determination. She stood up, suddenly filled with energy. "So… what do we do now?"
Shane stood and gathered his coat. "You are going to stop thinking about Karma and this whole hot mess for the rest of the night. I am going on a date with that cute barista from the coffee shop. And we are going to scrap Operation What-The-Hell-Is-Amy."
Shane stood at attention, a smug and knowing look giving way to an affectionate grin. "In a world," he began, using his best movie announcer voice, "where certainty is unnecessary and everything changes after high school anyway, a devilishly handsome boy rushes to the aid of a damsel-in-distress teetering on the brink of the most adorable romance ever witnessed by mankind." He began wiggling his eyebrows, and it was all Amy could do to not burst with laughter. "Operation Get The Girl!" he announced dramatically.
Amy couldn't hold it in anymore. She laughed hard for the first time in weeks, shaking and clutching her stomach. Shane moved in and gave her a lingering hug, squeezing tight. As they separated, he clapped her on the shoulder and switched back to his normal voice. "Coming to a high school near you, first thing tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Amy agreed.