A/N: Hi there. Really nervous author here. Since this is my first fic after the rotund success of my last, I don't know how to handle it. What if no one likes it? Imagine that. To go from almost a hundred reviews to nothing! I'd die!! You don't want me to die, do you? If it's only to keep me alive, will you review?
Anyway, this is a sequel to 'CLOCKS'. For all the people who asked me to continue it, here it is. For all the people that said, *keep it as a one shot*, well, I did, sorta, so there. Sequels don't really count, 'CLOCKS' is still a one shot, ne? *-* If you haven't read that, I suggest you don't read it 'til the end, but it's just a suggestion. There's no spoilers for this fic there, really. And if you have, then here's the sequel. Repeating myself much? Nah... This is AU, *totally* AU. That means you can't review to tell me the story doesn't match the manga, ok? Rating Pg-13 because there's nothing between that and R, but there might be some R-ness in future chappies, k? Be warned. And this is YNM, so of course there's shounen ai. What would happen if I go and create a female OC and pair it with Tsusuki? Imagine that!! Or worse even!! A Tsubaki Hime/Hisoka pairing *shudders*!!!
In case you haven't noticed; yes, I like Coldplay. This is not a song fic, but it was entirely inspired by 'A rush of blood to the head' (the album, not the song) So, since there's actually four pairings to this fic, each story was inspired by a song. A smile upon my face seemed like a good title though.
Enjoy!!
A SMILE UPON MY FACE
Three figures walked through the crowd on that warm spring evening with smiles on their faces.
The moonlit sky still allowed a few of the brightest stars to shine. In that place filled with glittering lights, the stars seemed to be there solely to complete the atmosphere.
Tsusuki was entranced; the characteristic music in the background, that- just as clowns- gave him an eerie feeling about the place; the air sweet with the aroma of the blooming Sakura and filled with the cheerful music and the murmur of voices and laughter. There were children running around and colourful balloons being handed to them by smiling clowns. There were couples carrying obscene amounts of stuffed animals and one or two golden fishes, talking about everything and nothing because it didn't matter what they talked about, their eyes, lovingly focused on their lovers, said something different. Young men and women with pink, white and blue cotton candy in their hands. And every single person in that amusement park, old and young; tall and short, were children for a while.
He gazed lovingly at Tatsumi. Sometimes Tsusuki feared the other boy didn't love him, but then he would go out of his way to making him feel happy.
Tatsumi, the blue eyed sixteen year old that was at that moment circling his right arm around his waist possessively. Though he was younger than Tsusuki, Tatsumi was taller and seemed more mature than him. The dark haired boy was resting his head on his "friend's" shoulder, taking comfort on Tatsumi's apparent good mood, as they walked through the multitude of the amusement park.
It's easy to believe this is not the first time you've lived; specially when you're in high school and you're pretty sure that it's actually hell and you're being punished for every sin you may have committed in a thousand other previous lives.
Though when you have to repeat your last year because of a lot of mistakes you can very well remember, Karma becomes a little too tangible for anyone's taste.
But he wasn't supposed to think about that now. After all, his two best friends- his two *younger*, best friends that would be his classmates from now on- had spent a lot of time and energy to make this a pleasant distraction. And lets not forget money! Tatsumi had spent *money* on him. That meant a lot.
Tatsumi noticed he was being watched and looked straight into the amethyst eyes.
"Having fun?" he said with a half smile.
Tsusuki snuggled closer to him and sighed contently.
"This is nice. Thank you."
The taller boy kissed the top of Tsusuki's head in a very strange show of tenderness. Tatsumi really loved him; he'd never felt anything stronger for anyone; but that love wasn't something that filled his heart with joy. More often than not, Tatsumi would push Tsusuki away, not being able to endure watching the boy he loved so much walking straight into his own destruction.
Tsusuki was not a strong person; he was of strong convictions, yes; and strong loyalties, but his heart was as easily shattered as the thinnest of glasses. And his mind...
Tatsumi often wondered about the older boy's mental stability. It was no secret to anyone at their school that Tsusuki Asato had tried to kill himself in more than one occasion before Tatsumi had transferred there. He'd never had to witness it, and he thanked whatever deity was out there for it; but he'd seen Tsusuki on the verge of breaking. Life was just a heavy burden to that boy he loved so much, and Tatsumi couldn't do anything about it. But at least for a while, he'd made his love happy.
Watari, the younger and smaller of the three, saw the intimate moment between the two and his heart shrank. He swallowed the lump on his throat and managed to place a smile -they were free, or so he said- on his face. His face lit up with mischief as he spotted one of the park's attractions and he grabbed Tatsumi by the sleeve without any warning, startling his two best friends.
"A fortune teller!!" he sang. "Oh, Tatsumi-san! You *have* to let us get our fortune read!! Please, pwetty please?!"
The taller boy groaned.
"Oh gods, Watari-san! That stuff is for children! You can't seriously believe in that, do you?"
Watari pouted and pointed at himself with shimmering eyes.
"But...but...I'm just a baby!! Are you implying I'm old?!" the fifteen year old whined.
Seeing the two amber pools filled with fake tears, Tatsumi still felt his heart skip a beat. Add to that two amethyst puppy eyes and the usually serious, collected youngster melted against all better judgement and his pocket that was starting to feel the wage of their night out.
Tatsumi sighed. It *was* their last day of vacation. Neither of the three had a home to go to and had spent their brake at the school dorms. They always spent their vacations that way, and that was why they'd become such good friends. But Tatsumi still was the only one with money to spend, and he wanted his friends to enjoy themselves as much as they could; even if it meant having to endure some fake gipsy telling them a load of bull.
He then nodded reluctantly and the three walked into the fortune teller's tent.
Watari was a man of science; or at least he would be once he got to college, but he still found amusement on things his brain knew were nothing but superstition. Tatsumi was every bit the practical man, and he didn't even waste time considering the possibility of the unknown. Tsusuki was as innocent as a two year old; he wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he still believed in Santa Claus in a way.
The three had very different approaches to the same situation, and yet, they were all a little taken by the surreal atmosphere the gypsy's tent had on the inside. It was like walking into another world. They were all deadly silent as they walked into the room; the walls were covered with dim, little lights and dark fabric. Against all odds, there wasn't a crystal ball on the table placed in the center of the room. There was just a round, rather short table with a dark, velvet cloth and a beautiful talisman above it. There weren't any chairs next to it, just some velvet cushions scattered around it.
From behind one of the curtains in the back a young, occidental woman came to meet them. Tsusuki was in awe; he'd only seen occidental people on TV, and this woman was extremely beautiful. Her wavy, deep black hair fell softly framing her delicate face, with a few strands covering her big, brown eyes. Her pearly white skin seemed to glisten in the dim light and give her a mysterious, almost scary look. She was dressed in character, but even Tatsumi would have had to admit it suited her, instead of making her look ridiculous. She looked at the three of them with curiosity and smiled.
"Welcome." she said, her voice musical and luring. "Please, have a sit."
They all did, like hypnotized. Tatsumi did shook himself from his trance though, and cleared his throat, giving the woman an icy glare.
"I won't pay you until I'm sure you're not a phoney." he said in warning. Watari and Tsusuki gave him a pleading look, but he ignored it.
"I know." she said with a smug smile. "I just hope your cynicism allows you to listen to what I have to say with an open mind."
Tatsumi smirked, but didn't reply.
The woman took a deck of cards from under the table and started dealing them expertly. She shook her head, still smiling slightly. She seemed pleased about something.
"I rarely come across people like you; and never before I've seen three together in the same room."
"People like us?" Tsusuki asked fearful. Tatsumi squeezed his hand.
"Don't be afraid," she said staring right into Tsusuki's eyes, "the past you're so afraid off can't hurt you anymore." With that she took a card out of the deck and stared at it, but never showed it to them. "But the past is still ruling your life, and you can't escape that. It's the way the cards were dealt."
"Look lady, I'm not going to pay to hear riddles that make no sense." Tatsumi said annoyed.
She looked right into his blue eyes then, making him feel naked, and smiled.
"I think it makes sense to him. But it's ok. I'll start with you, since you're so intent on proving me wrong." She took another card from the deck and repeated the proceeding. "I see that love is bringing you a great deal of pain. Your heart is pulling you in two different directions and you're lost." Hearing Tatsumi's sharp intake of breath, her smile got smugger. "Love can be a wonderful thing, when placed into the right direction. You know the path you should follow. Don't let pity or fear mislead you, because you'll cause more pain in trying to avoid hurting."
Tatsumi didn't say another word.
The fortune teller turned her gaze towards Watari. She smiled tenderly at him and the boy couldn't help but blush a little.
"You *do* know your heart. I like that." Watari's eyes opened as big as saucers at her words, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know the one you love and yet you fear it." she said with a frown. Watari laughed nervously.
"Aren't you going to pick a card? How do you know that?"
She shook her head no.
"There is no scientific method here. Everyone is very different from the other; and you are transparent. I don't need any help, I can see right through you." She took one of Watari's hands in hers and looked straight into his eyes. "Do not despair. What's meant to be, will be. And your heart will always be true to you. Trust it a little more."
Watari nodded dazedly and she let go of his hand, turning her attention on Tsusuki. She sighed sadly and held the talisman tight with one hand.
"What? What do you see?" Tsusuki asked anxiously.
"You suffer so much. You carry a weight on your shoulders that you can't understand." She looked down, almost as if she could feel Tsusuki's turmoil. "It's not your fault. Not this time around, not before. You shouldn't be so weary of life. You chose it. Live with joy in your heart; it is a beautiful heart and you're destined for happiness. Don't doubt it."
"I am?" Tsusuki sounded like a small child.
"Soon you'll find the reason you've been looking for. The path you chose was a harsh one, but your reward is very close. Stop living in the past. It will find you whether you let go of it or not, and if you do, you'll find that not all past things will hurt you."
Tsusuki shook his head, confused.
"I don't understand what you're saying...though..." Then he thought of something and smiled. "Am I going to pass this year? Am I going to do well in school?"
The gipsy smiled, amused.
"I can't tell you what's going to happen. I'm here to guide you, not to make choices for you. But I can tell you that soon you'll meet someone that will change your perspective of life. The message I have for you is this; your heart is bound to another. And it may not make sense now, but soon it will." Then she snorted. "It wouldn't hurt to study a bit more, though. Books don't bite." she said, and Tsusuki blushed a deep crimson.
Then the gipsy looked at the three of them and pulled another card. This time she did show it. It was The death.
The three boys backed away slightly, their eyes big and their faces draining of all colour. The gipsy smiled.
"Don't be scared." she said. "But beware. The following days will be very dangerous for all of you. You still haven't shaken death from your fates."
She rose from her seat and the others followed.
"Is that enough?" she said to Tatsumi, who just fished for his wallet in silence.
After paying they were about to leave when she spoke again.
"Wait, one more thing." they all turned, hoping her words wouldn't bring bad omens. She shook her head, with a wistful smile on her face. "This one comes from me, not the spirits. You all have a second chance; or a third as the case may be. One you aren't even aware off. Don't waste it this time."
The three walked in silence. The sounds of the park muffled by their own thoughts. The gipsy had left them all with more doubts than answers, but neither of them could say she hadn't been very convincing. Even Tatsumi was tempted to go back and ask some more, but he was out of money. There were only three tickets left, and seeing the two beautiful boys walking crestfallen in front of him, he thought of something. He picked the three little pieces of blue paper and waved them at the two.
"Roller-coaster, anyone?" he said with a smile.
"Yay! Tatsumi you're the best!!" Watari cheered, forgetting about his dilemma.
Tsusuki bounced up and down.
"Three hurrahs for Tatsumi!!" he yelled, making the taller boy blush.
"Now, now, let's go. After that we go back to the dorm, ok?"
Watari and Tsusuki begun jumping around him, cheering.
"Hip, Hip!! Hurrah!!"
Tatsumi could just pray no one saw him with those lunatics.
~Tsusuku~
Thanks to Rinoa Redcloak, Kia Vail-Kagami, Meritite, Sissy & Kody, Innocent passerby, Sade, Manda and MusumeMarron for their reviews of the prequel. I will answer each and every review of this, I swear. Just no prizes because I'm all prized out from my last fic, k? Maybe some cake when it's over, to celebrate, but nothing more. Nuh huh, no matter how much you beg. - Ah, ok maybe a plushie, but just one!!
Anyway, this is a sequel to 'CLOCKS'. For all the people who asked me to continue it, here it is. For all the people that said, *keep it as a one shot*, well, I did, sorta, so there. Sequels don't really count, 'CLOCKS' is still a one shot, ne? *-* If you haven't read that, I suggest you don't read it 'til the end, but it's just a suggestion. There's no spoilers for this fic there, really. And if you have, then here's the sequel. Repeating myself much? Nah... This is AU, *totally* AU. That means you can't review to tell me the story doesn't match the manga, ok? Rating Pg-13 because there's nothing between that and R, but there might be some R-ness in future chappies, k? Be warned. And this is YNM, so of course there's shounen ai. What would happen if I go and create a female OC and pair it with Tsusuki? Imagine that!! Or worse even!! A Tsubaki Hime/Hisoka pairing *shudders*!!!
In case you haven't noticed; yes, I like Coldplay. This is not a song fic, but it was entirely inspired by 'A rush of blood to the head' (the album, not the song) So, since there's actually four pairings to this fic, each story was inspired by a song. A smile upon my face seemed like a good title though.
Enjoy!!
A SMILE UPON MY FACE
Three figures walked through the crowd on that warm spring evening with smiles on their faces.
The moonlit sky still allowed a few of the brightest stars to shine. In that place filled with glittering lights, the stars seemed to be there solely to complete the atmosphere.
Tsusuki was entranced; the characteristic music in the background, that- just as clowns- gave him an eerie feeling about the place; the air sweet with the aroma of the blooming Sakura and filled with the cheerful music and the murmur of voices and laughter. There were children running around and colourful balloons being handed to them by smiling clowns. There were couples carrying obscene amounts of stuffed animals and one or two golden fishes, talking about everything and nothing because it didn't matter what they talked about, their eyes, lovingly focused on their lovers, said something different. Young men and women with pink, white and blue cotton candy in their hands. And every single person in that amusement park, old and young; tall and short, were children for a while.
He gazed lovingly at Tatsumi. Sometimes Tsusuki feared the other boy didn't love him, but then he would go out of his way to making him feel happy.
Tatsumi, the blue eyed sixteen year old that was at that moment circling his right arm around his waist possessively. Though he was younger than Tsusuki, Tatsumi was taller and seemed more mature than him. The dark haired boy was resting his head on his "friend's" shoulder, taking comfort on Tatsumi's apparent good mood, as they walked through the multitude of the amusement park.
It's easy to believe this is not the first time you've lived; specially when you're in high school and you're pretty sure that it's actually hell and you're being punished for every sin you may have committed in a thousand other previous lives.
Though when you have to repeat your last year because of a lot of mistakes you can very well remember, Karma becomes a little too tangible for anyone's taste.
But he wasn't supposed to think about that now. After all, his two best friends- his two *younger*, best friends that would be his classmates from now on- had spent a lot of time and energy to make this a pleasant distraction. And lets not forget money! Tatsumi had spent *money* on him. That meant a lot.
Tatsumi noticed he was being watched and looked straight into the amethyst eyes.
"Having fun?" he said with a half smile.
Tsusuki snuggled closer to him and sighed contently.
"This is nice. Thank you."
The taller boy kissed the top of Tsusuki's head in a very strange show of tenderness. Tatsumi really loved him; he'd never felt anything stronger for anyone; but that love wasn't something that filled his heart with joy. More often than not, Tatsumi would push Tsusuki away, not being able to endure watching the boy he loved so much walking straight into his own destruction.
Tsusuki was not a strong person; he was of strong convictions, yes; and strong loyalties, but his heart was as easily shattered as the thinnest of glasses. And his mind...
Tatsumi often wondered about the older boy's mental stability. It was no secret to anyone at their school that Tsusuki Asato had tried to kill himself in more than one occasion before Tatsumi had transferred there. He'd never had to witness it, and he thanked whatever deity was out there for it; but he'd seen Tsusuki on the verge of breaking. Life was just a heavy burden to that boy he loved so much, and Tatsumi couldn't do anything about it. But at least for a while, he'd made his love happy.
Watari, the younger and smaller of the three, saw the intimate moment between the two and his heart shrank. He swallowed the lump on his throat and managed to place a smile -they were free, or so he said- on his face. His face lit up with mischief as he spotted one of the park's attractions and he grabbed Tatsumi by the sleeve without any warning, startling his two best friends.
"A fortune teller!!" he sang. "Oh, Tatsumi-san! You *have* to let us get our fortune read!! Please, pwetty please?!"
The taller boy groaned.
"Oh gods, Watari-san! That stuff is for children! You can't seriously believe in that, do you?"
Watari pouted and pointed at himself with shimmering eyes.
"But...but...I'm just a baby!! Are you implying I'm old?!" the fifteen year old whined.
Seeing the two amber pools filled with fake tears, Tatsumi still felt his heart skip a beat. Add to that two amethyst puppy eyes and the usually serious, collected youngster melted against all better judgement and his pocket that was starting to feel the wage of their night out.
Tatsumi sighed. It *was* their last day of vacation. Neither of the three had a home to go to and had spent their brake at the school dorms. They always spent their vacations that way, and that was why they'd become such good friends. But Tatsumi still was the only one with money to spend, and he wanted his friends to enjoy themselves as much as they could; even if it meant having to endure some fake gipsy telling them a load of bull.
He then nodded reluctantly and the three walked into the fortune teller's tent.
Watari was a man of science; or at least he would be once he got to college, but he still found amusement on things his brain knew were nothing but superstition. Tatsumi was every bit the practical man, and he didn't even waste time considering the possibility of the unknown. Tsusuki was as innocent as a two year old; he wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he still believed in Santa Claus in a way.
The three had very different approaches to the same situation, and yet, they were all a little taken by the surreal atmosphere the gypsy's tent had on the inside. It was like walking into another world. They were all deadly silent as they walked into the room; the walls were covered with dim, little lights and dark fabric. Against all odds, there wasn't a crystal ball on the table placed in the center of the room. There was just a round, rather short table with a dark, velvet cloth and a beautiful talisman above it. There weren't any chairs next to it, just some velvet cushions scattered around it.
From behind one of the curtains in the back a young, occidental woman came to meet them. Tsusuki was in awe; he'd only seen occidental people on TV, and this woman was extremely beautiful. Her wavy, deep black hair fell softly framing her delicate face, with a few strands covering her big, brown eyes. Her pearly white skin seemed to glisten in the dim light and give her a mysterious, almost scary look. She was dressed in character, but even Tatsumi would have had to admit it suited her, instead of making her look ridiculous. She looked at the three of them with curiosity and smiled.
"Welcome." she said, her voice musical and luring. "Please, have a sit."
They all did, like hypnotized. Tatsumi did shook himself from his trance though, and cleared his throat, giving the woman an icy glare.
"I won't pay you until I'm sure you're not a phoney." he said in warning. Watari and Tsusuki gave him a pleading look, but he ignored it.
"I know." she said with a smug smile. "I just hope your cynicism allows you to listen to what I have to say with an open mind."
Tatsumi smirked, but didn't reply.
The woman took a deck of cards from under the table and started dealing them expertly. She shook her head, still smiling slightly. She seemed pleased about something.
"I rarely come across people like you; and never before I've seen three together in the same room."
"People like us?" Tsusuki asked fearful. Tatsumi squeezed his hand.
"Don't be afraid," she said staring right into Tsusuki's eyes, "the past you're so afraid off can't hurt you anymore." With that she took a card out of the deck and stared at it, but never showed it to them. "But the past is still ruling your life, and you can't escape that. It's the way the cards were dealt."
"Look lady, I'm not going to pay to hear riddles that make no sense." Tatsumi said annoyed.
She looked right into his blue eyes then, making him feel naked, and smiled.
"I think it makes sense to him. But it's ok. I'll start with you, since you're so intent on proving me wrong." She took another card from the deck and repeated the proceeding. "I see that love is bringing you a great deal of pain. Your heart is pulling you in two different directions and you're lost." Hearing Tatsumi's sharp intake of breath, her smile got smugger. "Love can be a wonderful thing, when placed into the right direction. You know the path you should follow. Don't let pity or fear mislead you, because you'll cause more pain in trying to avoid hurting."
Tatsumi didn't say another word.
The fortune teller turned her gaze towards Watari. She smiled tenderly at him and the boy couldn't help but blush a little.
"You *do* know your heart. I like that." Watari's eyes opened as big as saucers at her words, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know the one you love and yet you fear it." she said with a frown. Watari laughed nervously.
"Aren't you going to pick a card? How do you know that?"
She shook her head no.
"There is no scientific method here. Everyone is very different from the other; and you are transparent. I don't need any help, I can see right through you." She took one of Watari's hands in hers and looked straight into his eyes. "Do not despair. What's meant to be, will be. And your heart will always be true to you. Trust it a little more."
Watari nodded dazedly and she let go of his hand, turning her attention on Tsusuki. She sighed sadly and held the talisman tight with one hand.
"What? What do you see?" Tsusuki asked anxiously.
"You suffer so much. You carry a weight on your shoulders that you can't understand." She looked down, almost as if she could feel Tsusuki's turmoil. "It's not your fault. Not this time around, not before. You shouldn't be so weary of life. You chose it. Live with joy in your heart; it is a beautiful heart and you're destined for happiness. Don't doubt it."
"I am?" Tsusuki sounded like a small child.
"Soon you'll find the reason you've been looking for. The path you chose was a harsh one, but your reward is very close. Stop living in the past. It will find you whether you let go of it or not, and if you do, you'll find that not all past things will hurt you."
Tsusuki shook his head, confused.
"I don't understand what you're saying...though..." Then he thought of something and smiled. "Am I going to pass this year? Am I going to do well in school?"
The gipsy smiled, amused.
"I can't tell you what's going to happen. I'm here to guide you, not to make choices for you. But I can tell you that soon you'll meet someone that will change your perspective of life. The message I have for you is this; your heart is bound to another. And it may not make sense now, but soon it will." Then she snorted. "It wouldn't hurt to study a bit more, though. Books don't bite." she said, and Tsusuki blushed a deep crimson.
Then the gipsy looked at the three of them and pulled another card. This time she did show it. It was The death.
The three boys backed away slightly, their eyes big and their faces draining of all colour. The gipsy smiled.
"Don't be scared." she said. "But beware. The following days will be very dangerous for all of you. You still haven't shaken death from your fates."
She rose from her seat and the others followed.
"Is that enough?" she said to Tatsumi, who just fished for his wallet in silence.
After paying they were about to leave when she spoke again.
"Wait, one more thing." they all turned, hoping her words wouldn't bring bad omens. She shook her head, with a wistful smile on her face. "This one comes from me, not the spirits. You all have a second chance; or a third as the case may be. One you aren't even aware off. Don't waste it this time."
The three walked in silence. The sounds of the park muffled by their own thoughts. The gipsy had left them all with more doubts than answers, but neither of them could say she hadn't been very convincing. Even Tatsumi was tempted to go back and ask some more, but he was out of money. There were only three tickets left, and seeing the two beautiful boys walking crestfallen in front of him, he thought of something. He picked the three little pieces of blue paper and waved them at the two.
"Roller-coaster, anyone?" he said with a smile.
"Yay! Tatsumi you're the best!!" Watari cheered, forgetting about his dilemma.
Tsusuki bounced up and down.
"Three hurrahs for Tatsumi!!" he yelled, making the taller boy blush.
"Now, now, let's go. After that we go back to the dorm, ok?"
Watari and Tsusuki begun jumping around him, cheering.
"Hip, Hip!! Hurrah!!"
Tatsumi could just pray no one saw him with those lunatics.
~Tsusuku~
Thanks to Rinoa Redcloak, Kia Vail-Kagami, Meritite, Sissy & Kody, Innocent passerby, Sade, Manda and MusumeMarron for their reviews of the prequel. I will answer each and every review of this, I swear. Just no prizes because I'm all prized out from my last fic, k? Maybe some cake when it's over, to celebrate, but nothing more. Nuh huh, no matter how much you beg. - Ah, ok maybe a plushie, but just one!!