and as the thunder booms, we remember
for Maisie
A/N: Prompts included at the end, so as not to spoil anything. I hope you enjoy, Maisie :)
Narcissa doesn't remember much.
The world is black now.
It had been black then, too, she thinks, but she's not entirely sure.
She swims in an infinite darkness, suspended in time and space, with nothing to keep her company except for the everlasting dark.
Sometimes, she tries to recall what life was like before.
But the only thing that surfaces to her mind is a string of chaotic noises- a booming sound, the rushing of water, the crunching and screeching of metal, a lone scream.
And after that scream, the world went dark and quiet and she's been floating ever since.
Narcissa doesn't remember much.
For the first time in forever, there is a sound in the blackness. An insistent beeping that echoes through her ears, pulses through her brain. The beeping is steady and consistent and Narcissa wants to make it go away, but she doesn't know how to.
After what might have been one minute, or one hour, or one month, or a year, the beeping speeds up, increasing to a whine.
Narcissa opens her eyes.
There is light.
She doesn't float in silent darkness anymore; now, harsh white light beats down on her face, and the world is filled with noise- ticks and beeps and clicking and squeaking.
It's too much.
Her head begins to throb, sharp daggers of pain shooting through her skull.
Everything is too bright. Everything hurts too much.
Then a new sound joins the rest, and it's almost familiar- a voice, Narcissa realizes. Someone is speaking, but to whom, she doesn't know.
She hates it. She hates this.
She wants to go back to the dark.
A coma, the doctors tell her after a few days. You've been in a coma.
And it all starts coming back.
A car crash, the nurses tell her. You were in a car crash. Do you remember?
Narcissa does remember.
She had been sitting in the back seat of a red SUV with Andromeda, her sister. And Bella, her other sister, had been sitting in the front passenger seat, and Rodolphus, Bella's boyfriend, had been driving.
She remembers holding Andromeda's hand as they both stared through the windows, watching sheets of rain slosh against the windshield.
Rodolphus and Bella had been talking about something, though Narcissa isn't sure what.
They had been going… going somewhere, but she can't recall where, exactly. To lunch, maybe?
And the truck had come out of nowhere.
A delivery truck, painted black, barreling out of the mist and ramming them head-on. Their car had spun, flipped, metal crushing inwards…
A single scream.
Narcissa can't remember who had cried out- maybe Bella, maybe Andromeda, maybe it was her.
She doesn't know.
She isn't sure.
Bella comes to visit one day, and just one look at her face makes Narcissa's stomach churn.
Her sister's dark curls are wild and untamed, her midnight eyes frenzied in a pain-filled fury. Her sweatshirt and sweatpants are rumpled, her sneakers battered, and she looks paler than death.
It's that moment when Narcissa knows everything is much worse than she thought it was. Because never in a million years would Bella let herself look like a mess.
And never in a million years would Bella wear sweats.
Narcissa can still barely talk, and she still aches all over. Bella takes a seat in the stiff chair beside her hospital cot.
Narcissa hates her hospital room- everything is too gray. The walls and floor and ceiling… all gray. No decorations or pictures to keep her company; only a TV that hangs on the wall across from her and a window to her right.
Narcissa hasn't turned on the TV yet- she hates to admit it, but she doesn't know how to use the remote. She spends her time staring out the window.
It rains more often than not.
Bella takes her hand and Narcissa stiffens. Bella never held anyone's hand. Not Rodolphus', not Andromeda's, and certainly not hers.
Ice runs through Narcissa's veins. She hasn't felt this feeling in a while.
It's fear.
Bella tells her what happened in that crash.
Rodolphus is gone.
Andromeda is gone.
They are the only ones left, and Narcissa has been in a coma for almost two years and Bella had been alone.
For a moment, it's like a gaping emptiness has swallowed Narcissa whole, and she starts wishing she had never woken up.
And then there's pain and loss and grief and it tears open her heart as she sobs, shoulders shaking violently.
And Bella leans over her and hugs her tight, squeezing her shoulders painfully.
Together, they cry.
Narcissa cannot remember ever seeing Bella cry.
Bella doesn't visit for a while after that. It must hurt her too much, Narcissa reasons. Whatever the reason, though, Narcissa misses her sister to the point where she cries herself to sleep every night.
She has never felt more alone.
Doctors and nurses are constantly attending to her, cooing over her, fussing over her.
Narcissa hates it. She wants them all to go away, but they won't listen.
Sometimes, they try to catch her up on current events. Sometimes, they try to let her know what's been happening in the world for the past two years.
But Narcissa doesn't care.
She doesn't care which celebrities were caught doing what, doesn't care which political scandal was exposed, doesn't care who won the latest sports match…
She doesn't care anymore.
But nobody seems to understand. And the pity in the expressions of the hospital staff makes her want to rip out her hair.
She just misses Andromeda.
She misses Bella.
She wants to go back to sleep and not wake up again.
She misses the blissful, silent dark.
The doctors encourage her to get out of bed, to explore the hospital, to get some fresh air.
Narcissa doesn't want fresh air. She wants to bury herself beneath the thin white sheets of her cot and stay there forever.
But they insist, and the next thing she knows, she's being helped into a pair of pants and a soft sweater, and she's being put in a wheelchair, and she's being rolled down a hallway that reeks of that sterile hospital smell that she's grown much too used to.
She's wheeled into a sitting room, and she has to admit that it's not bad, for a hospital. It's small and cozy, with a a furry rug in the center of the room and couches nestled in each corner. There are windows, too, which make her feel less claustrophobic.
Narcissa asks the nurse who is pushing her chair to please leave.
The nurse complies, saying she'll check up on Narcissa again in ten minutes.
And for a blissful ten minutes, Narcissa is alone, staring out the window and watching a gentle, misty rain spray against the glass.
A change in scenery can be nice, she supposes.
Narcissa asks to be brought to the sitting room the next day, too. Her doctors are thrilled, and they obediently wheel her into the cozy space.
They leave her alone again, and Narcissa is prepared to enjoy some time by herself when she realizes there's a man sitting on the couch.
He's leaning against the armrest and gazing solemnly out the window. His fingers tangle through his platinum-blonde hair, and he glances up at Narcissa when she enters.
Narcissa realizes she might have thought him handsome, once upon a time- but now, none of that matters anymore.
She doesn't speak to him. She's in no mood to socialize.
But as she watches the rolling fog through the glass panes, she can sense his silver eyes fixed on her the entire time.
It's become a daily routine for them.
Narcissa can operate the wheelchair by herself now. She pushes herself into the sitting room that's begun to feel like home.
Not that she can really remember what home feels like.
And that man is always sitting there, on the couch. Always glancing at her, but never speaking.
Narcissa watches the gray clouds outside the window.
He watches her, and they never speak.
Bella visits again. The nurses tell Narcissa that it will only be a week or two before she can be discharged. Narcissa and the stranger meet up silently in the parlor. Narcissa sobs herself to sleep at night.
Nothing changes, really.
And then one day it does.
Narcissa goes back to that sitting room. Now she has enough strength to lift herself out of her wheelchair and pull herself onto the couch beside the window.
She and the stranger sit on opposite ends of the couch, never speaking.
But today, as Narcissa watches the weather change outside, her stomach is knotted into a tight ball, and she isn't sure why.
The sky outside turns black with clouds- rain begins to pour down in sheets, sloshing against the window.
Lightning flashes. Thunder booms.
And Narcissa screams.
It all comes rushing back in a flood; the car crash, the crunch of metal, the thunder, the scream. The tang of blood filling the air.
Narcissa is screaming and screaming and she can't stop, and she needs to run away, away from the thunder, away from the storm, but she can't.
Tears stream down her cheeks. It will never end. The agony will never end.
And then there are a pair of warm hands on her own, and Narcissa forces herself to open her eyes.
It's the stranger, and he's kneeling in front of her and clutching her hands. His mouth is moving, but Narcissa can't hear him over the roaring in her ears.
But his silver eyes bore into hers and then she can make out words over her screams.
"Breathe!" he's telling her. "Breathe!"
And Narcissa takes a deep, shuddering breath and breathes.
"Breathe," he keeps repeating. "Look at me. Breathe. Deep breath."
And so she does, and it gets a little easier every time. Oxygen pumps through her lungs and her head feels clearer, her vision sharper, her brain less fuzzy.
The stranger keeps talking to her, coaxing her into inhaling and exhaling. "Another deep breath. Good. Yes. Another one. Inhale. Exhale."
Narcissa stops screaming, her tears still dripping down her face. She's trembling and shaking and hiccuping between sobs but the stranger is telling her that she will be okay.
Narcissa believes him.
He pulls himself up onto the couch beside her and tentatively embraces her. Narcissa leans her head on his shoulder.
She can't remember the last time somebody hugged her.
She hears a few nurses burst into the sitting room, chattering loudly and insistently and worriedly. She shuts her eyes, and the stranger doesn't let go.
She hears him telling them that she's fine, that they can go away now, and she's grateful when they- after a moment of hesitation- comply.
Narcissa doesn't know how long it takes before she gets her shivering under control. Her tears subside, the throbbing in her head ceasing.
A blanket of stillness and quiet seems to surround her, and she just wants to go to sleep.
She's so tired.
"Are you okay?" a voice murmurs softly, and Narcissa nearly leaps out of her skin. She's completely forgotten that she's curled up in a stranger's embrace.
"I'm- I'm so s- sorry," she rambles, pushing herself away from her, cheeks burning in mortification. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"
"Hey," he says, watching her with a small, sad smile. "It's okay."
Narcissa nods once because he seems to understand, she thinks.
"What's your name?" he asks.
Narcissa holds out a hand. "Narcissa. Narcissa Black."
He takes her hand and shakes it. "I'm Lucius Malfoy."
It's a daily habit again. Narcissa and Lucius both go to the hospital couch room and sit on the couches and gaze through the windows. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they don't. But this time, the silence is a comfortable silence- a safe silence.
She once asked him why he was in the hospital.
They said I have depression, he had responded after a long, long moment.
Do you? she had asked, and he had shrugged, and that was the end of it.
To be honest, Narcissa didn't really care what he was in for; he was kind and he was interesting and he never failed to make her smile. She liked him, she realized. She really, really liked him.
Narcissa heads down to the couch room again. She's strong enough now to walk without the wheelchair.
Lucius is already waiting for her, and she takes a seat beside him and holds his hand.
He makes a joke, and Narcissa actually laughs.
The sound bubbles out of her mouth, carefree and happy and light, and she's surprised for a moment. Shocked.
She can't remember the last time she laughed.
"Maybe," Narcissa says aloud to him, "maybe we'll be okay."
He tilts his head, his silver eyes fixed on her own. "Yes," he says softly. "Maybe someday we will."
Drabble Game Challenge
For Maisie - Pairing: LuciusNarcissa - Prompt: hospital!AU and thunderstorm scenario ("Character A is afraid of thunderstorms. Luckily, Character B is there to comfort them.")
HPFC
Can You Make It To The End Challenge - Round 8 - "Write a fic about an important event in Narcissa Malfoy's life (doesn't have to be canon compliant)."
Ultimate Writer Challenge - "Write a gift fic for a fellow participant." - 2/5 complete
Criminal Minds Character Category Competition - Competition: Elle Greenway - "Write about a character in a coma."
Ultimate AU Prompathon Challenge - Disability/Illness AU - "accident/injury!AU."
The Golden Snitch
Centaurus, Aurora - Through the Universe Challenge - "31. Celestial Poles - (ship) LuciusNarcissa."
Lumos!
Ravenclaw House - Emotional Range of a Teaspoon Challenge - "Lonely."