A/n: So, I'm watching Suits for the first time and I'm just having a lot of feelings I cannot contain (AND a moment of breathing during the school insanity! YAY!). Major thanks to my beta extraordinaire, stars_inthe_sky, who doesn't even go here but edited for me anyways. \o/
I'm writing as I go through the show (I have two more I'm working on between homework onslaughts!), and they may not technically end up canon compliant because I haven't watched all the canon yet. BUT THEY SHOULD BE BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH THESE TWO IDIOTS.
Timeline: alternate take on conversation in S2E7: Sucker Punch
Sparks
Harvey is tired of fighting.
He's pretty sure he knows what she needs to hear, but since he cannot properly form the words, he dances around it.
"Donna, I need you there," he says, focusing all of his attention on her and hoping she'll hear what he's not saying—like she does every other time. "I need you...to tell them that I didn't do this."
"I'm sorry, I can't," Donna tells him, her voice hot enough to scald, anger burning enough for both of them. "I've hired an attorney. If this thing goes to trial, I'm taking the fifth. So if you need another Donna at the firm, just have anybody at the firm say 'I decline to answer' because that's all you're gonna get outta me anyway."
She turns to march away.
"Donna..."
"I decline to answer."
"Donna." He catches her wrist and she snatches it back, glaring.
"Don't."
Harvey follows her angry stride, hanging a few steps behind. She tries to walk faster, head down and ponytail bouncing, unwilling to give him an inch. Maybe he deserves it—Donna's right, he fought harder to keep Mike than he fought to keep her. But he also thought she'd understand why he couldn't put up the same fight for her. He's ready to dismantle the company brick by brick if he loses Donna forever over one damn memo, of all things.
"Donna, just give me a second."
She shakes her head. "Leave me alone, Harvey."
Harvey clenches his jaw, trying to stand against the wave of desperation pounding up through his chest. Not after all they've been through, not here, not now. He can't lose her—he would not survive the loss.
"I need you!" he calls. The desperation bleeds into his voice despite his best efforts, and her steps waver and slow.
"You need a new secretary," she tosses over her shoulder, still biting but less furious. He can work with that.
"Donna, I need you," he presses, following at an arm's length.
She halts and he has to fumble several steps to be level with her again. She stares him down in her Donna way, like she can see his every thought. Instinctively, he closes off his expression, and she makes a scoffing noise, turns to stride away. He catches her wrist again and he forces his face, for one shining second, to be open—well, as much as he can be.
"I need you," Harvey murmurs.
An acidic sort of terror claws up the back of his throat—this is the closest he's ever come to admitting she means more to him than anyone can understand. He doesn't let anyone in, ever—not all the way. Not even Donna, not even now. But he lets her catch a glimpse of his emotions between heartbeats before swallows them back down, locking them up where they belong.
They have a rule, after all. No getting involved.
Harvey lets go of her, already regretting letting her see so much of himself.
Donna's cheeks flush and she can't seem to find anything to say—a first, he thinks. Harvey slides his hands into his pockets and walks away.
He resists the urge to look back one last time.
-end-