Suave, handsome, exquisite... a beautiful mystery. Words which Delores Umbridge often used to describe Tom Riddle, the hottest boy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But she would soon discover something truly moving about her love, something more interesting than the perfect arch of his brows: his immovable faith in Harambe. Follow Delores's adventure as she wrestles with faith, love octagons, and even time itself.
Chapter 1: The Dark Obsession
Dear Diary,
Today I acquired a hair from the head of my sweet, sweet Senpai. I will cherish this hair forever and sniff it each night as I go to sleep. It will have a home in the shrine underneath my bed, a shrine I have been working on for years ever since I saw the perfection that was Senpai. I long to be with him, to stroke and sniff his hair whilst attached to his head, but this will have to do for now and forever since he will never love me. I am a half blood and he a pure Slytherin hottie. I cry.
Love,
Delores
Delores Jane Umbridge set down her hot pink quill and sighed deeply, a single man tear creating a runnel down her cheek. She felt a little depressed so she cried into her cat's fur, swallowing a great deal of hair as she did so, but she did not care. She was far too depressed over her love.
She had been obsessed with Tom Riddle since she was a first year and his perfection graced the Slytherin common room. He was just so beautiful and he just got more and more beautiful as the years went by. Now she was in 6th year and he in 7th which meant he would be leaving the next year… with no possibility for Delores to ask him out. She had been summoning up non-existent courage for years. She just could not do it; she was far too pathetic.
She went to bed and dreamed many a dream of her hunky man.