Author's Note: Spoilers for 4x04. I'm not anti-Chandler... it's just where my muse took me.
No Words
Kat gripped the bar and pulled herself up; in a perfect chin up. Sweat dripped down her back, she'd been working out ever since she finished washing the CO's blood out of the helo. Repairs would begin in the morning and even though they had the seeds, she felt today had been a bad day. Victory aside, the CO was in critical care and Tom Chandler was back. It was all the crew could talk about.
"The Captain is back." Ray said as he came into the Gym. He wore a casual smile, that normally would have made her smile but today pissed her off. She knew he was talking about Tom Chandler.
"He's in bad shape. But I overheard he will be ok." Kat said obtusely, she'd rather talk about Slattery as they needed him; he was their leader, he'd seen them through hell and back. Not the leader who had abandoned them only to show up conveniently when theirs was hurt. The only saving grace was that Meylan would take up command until Slattery was on his feet again. Hopefully, Tom Chandler would go back to wherever he came from.
"No, Captain Chandler." Ray corrected her. She rolled her eyes at his clear adoration. She used to understand why people were infatuated with him. He was a hero but to Kat; he was just an exceptionally flawed man who brought her nothing but grief and disappointment.
"He's not Navy. So he's not a Captain and as far as I'm-" she strained as she lifted herself up "he's nothing." she finished, she relished the burn of lactic acid in her shoulder and arm muscles.
"How can you say that? He saved us all." Ray told her. She dropped from the bar and glared at him.
"No, he didn't. Dr Scott saved us from the virus, the crew of the Nathan James helped the cure get it back. He was just one of many. My Dad and all the others who died were the heroes, they sacrificed themselves so we could live. He abandoned us when it got too hard." Kat told him resentfully. She had moved past it but given the hours of listening to people praise the man she had it. All the emotions had bubbled up in her, nice and fresh.
"Shit, I didn't- I'm so sorry," Ray said with empathy, realising the faux pas as he'd forgotten how Tex had died. But also seeing first hand real emotions from girl; he secretly loved. She was usually so affable but not today and he had to admit he couldn't blame her for feeling what she did.
"My Dad died for him and the mission, Chandler's the only one who knew what my Dad's last words were. If there was anything Dad even said before he died. Chandler didn't even have the balls to tell me himself, he just walked away and left me in the dark about what really happened to my Dad. What kind of hero leaves an orphan to bury her father alone?" Kat asked, her voice breaking slightly at the end as it had tormented her in the early days when she was deep in her grief. The what if's. What if her father had said something, did he think of her in his last moments. Her inner fears and grief showing.
"I'm sure he had his reasons. Maybe you should talk to him." Ray suggested gently. She scoffed at him and shook her head.
"Why? he had no words for me back then, I highly doubt he'll have 'em now." she told him in a resigned tone as she picked up her towel and slung it over her shoulders. "I highly doubt there is anything he could possibly say now to make up for what he did. Honestly, I wish he never came back." she added, she walked away finished with him and because she just didn't want someone to defend Tom Chandler to her. What she wanted was an ally and a cold shower. At least she could get the latter with ease.
End