TITLE: The Other Side

AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami

RATING: M (Not for the kiddies!)

PAIRING: ST9 (sort of), mentions of 39

WARNINGS: Limey goodness, masturbation (sort of), some angst, and a bastard-y Sanzo.

SUMMARY: Shut out by Sanzo, Goku finds comfort in someone completely unexpected. This is probably the weirdest story I've ever written. It turned out WAY different than I anticipated.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. I just borrow for my own perverse amusement. Entertainment, people!

(A/N: This is dedicated to windwhisprer, as her belated birthday present. Your ST9 fic, as promised! I guess you could kind of consider it a companion fic to your "Raspberries" one? I don't know)

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The rain was coming down in buckets, which meant that Goku would be sleeping alone. The door to Sanzo's room was locked, cutting the boy off from him for the second night in a row. Even through the wood, he knew that the blond was probably sitting in the windowsill, smoking and brooding as the droplets skittered down the pane like marching insects.

A frown crossed the boy's face at that and he grumbled to himself as he walked to his own room with his hands shoved in his pockets. He couldn't go and talk to Hakkai, since the healer was probably in the same state as the priest, and he knew Gojyo had already gone out on the prowl for an evening conquest. That meant of course that he was left to amuse himself in a way that didn't involve food or sexy blonds. He slammed the door hard enough to shake the walls, still grumbling as he sprawled out on the single bed. Sleep was probably the best option at this point, though if the weather continued this way they wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

Stripping down into his shirt and his boxers, Goku pulled the covers up around him and screwed his eyes shut in a pitiful attempt to get some sleep. The only sound in the room was the steady ticking of the clock on his bedside table and the rain tapping against the glass of the window. After a moment, it became too much for him and he sprang to his feet. Nervous energy that had built up over the course of the day moved him to start pacing across the floor, as he grumbled to himself. He knew of a good way to relieve some of that tension, but the other party that was usually involved was hiding behind a locked door.

With that in mind, he decided to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. As his mind filled with images of he and the priest in rather compromising positions, he suddenly heard a soft whisper in his ear. "It's a terrible shame that you have to be left alone like this…I certainly wouldn't leave you alone."

On instinct Goku tore his hand out of his pants and ignored his growing problem as he searched the room for whoever could have said that. "Come out now," he growled low in this throat, summoning his staff and holding it in a defensive position. "I don't know who the hell you are, but-"

"Oh but I think you do, my dear Goku. After all, I'm always with you." The boy froze at that, though he dismissed the very idea, the very possibility, rather quickly. There was no way that the creature that lived inside of him was talking. From what the others had told him, the most Seiten Taisei communicated with them short of physical blows was grunts and growls. There was no way that it could talk to him, was there? "Oh but I can, dear Goku. After all, we're bonded. Not like you and that filthy priest…no, ours goes much deeper than that."

If the voice would have been audible, the golden-eyed boy was sure that it would have been purring and dripping with seduction. A shudder wracked him and his body responded ardently to the idea. Before he knew it, his shirt was off and his fingers were trailing across his chest as though he were exploring his own body for the first time. "S-Stop…"

"You know you like it. Your priest doesn't touch you like this, does he? No, he only wants you for sex. I, on the other hand, would worship your body like it was meant to be worshipped. Let me show you what I mean…" Even though they were his own hands touching him, Goku could have sworn that it was almost as if Seiten Taisei were touching him instead. He threw his head back and moaned, realizing when the noise escaped him the extent of what he was doing. Could this be considered cheating, even though technically he and Sanzo weren't considered a couple? A strange feeling in the pit of his stomach swirled about at that, shadowed only by the arousal that he was steadily succumbing to.

"N-No…please…t-this…" His protests were broken by the grunts and breaths that were flowing from his parted lips. He tried to stop, forcing his hands to still as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Don't fight me, love. Just let go. It's your body doing it to you, not someone else. Why should you be denied pleasure because that…priest is acting like a child? You are glorious, Goku. Revel in what I could offer you instead," Seiten Taisei's voice encouraged, another shudder rippling up his spine. The creature moaned in his head, taking control of his hands again as one dipped into his boxers. A groan escaped him, cool fingers against heated need causing his hips to buck up into the touch. Again, it was almost as if they were the hands of someone else, someone who wasn't Sanzo. "Just like that…you see? I know this body as well as you do…I could do things that that idiot monk could never do."

Seiten Taisei wasn't wrong, after all. Sanzo, as loath as Goku was to admit it, wasn't one for caressing and foreplay. Their sex was usually rough and quick, dirty and to the point. It was more of mutual relief of built-up tension than anything, even if Goku often wished it was more. Hell, he wasn't even sure Sanzo was capable of more than that. Until this point, it had been enough.

"Does he love you? Maybe. Will he show it? Never. He's too proud. Do you see, Goku? He hurts you so much, all the time. That's why I hate him so much. He makes you cry, he makes you angry…and he doesn't deserve your love. He never has, never will."

Goku didn't even have time to ponder that statement, the flicks of his wrist growing firmer and more insistent. He laid back against the bed and arched into his own hand, reminiscent of the time spent with Sanzo. However, the blond was far from his mind, reluctant images of familiar brown hair and slit eyes filling his mind's eye. His face flushed in shame, realizing that this was probably one of the weirdest things anyone could ever experience. He was certain that Hakkai didn't have this problem.

"If only, Goku. If only we weren't trapped in the same vessel…you and I would be quite the pair, don't you think? I was your companion, you know. I was there for you through your imprisonment, through the death of your bird, and through those lonely winters. You never knew, but I was there. I kept us sane, you know. Only because I care for you…"

That voice, whispering sweet nothings and beautiful promises that Goku never found with Sanzo. He was tempted, oh so tempted, even though he knew there was no way that it would ever work out. "Oh Gods…." Even as his mind warred over what ever was going on inside of it, his body knew what it wanted.

A final stroke and the pressure that had been building popped, staining the front of his boxers as his body sagged in relief. His cheeks flushed in shame, now that the blood was rushing back to his head and he could think properly. He had just gotten himself off by thinking of his other self…

"Why is it so bad? We are almost like two different beings, you and I. Don't forget…I'll always be here when that monk is not. I would never leave your side, especially not for some silly weather. It's just rain, after all. Think on it." His skin prickled then, the sensation of ghostly arms wrapping around his torso and pressing against his back feeling all too real.

A sharp knock on the door brought him out of his fog, not trusting his voice when the monk came barreling into the room and slammed the door behind him. Goku tried desperately not to look guilty, though he wasn't exactly sure why he should feel that way in the first place. "Hi…Sanzo. What's wrong?" he asked in as even a tone as he could manage.

Violet eyes narrowed, trailing immediately to the wet stain on the front of his boxer shorts. The blond stayed quiet, and for a heart-stopping second Goku was afraid that Sanzo had realized what was going on. Again, he felt like a cheating lover as he tried to keep his face from betraying his emotions. "It stopped raining." Said so matter-of-factly, it was almost as if the blond expected that to be enough of an explanation for the other man.

"And?"

Sanzo didn't answer with words, crushing their bodies together as his mouth caught Goku's in a bruising kiss. Ah yes, that was what Goku was familiar with. Pale hands wandered over his body, and for a moment, Goku wished that it was the clawed hands he had been fantasizing about. He wished instead of violet there was slit gold, and that the blond locks he was raking his hands through were long and brown.

However, that was something he kept to himself.

-End-