The Ninth Millennium Item
Chapter One
Yes, you read that right. It was previously supposed that there were only seven, and these seven are all one needs to take over the world. But the original maker of the millennium items knew the power of the number three, and thus nine were made, a multiple of three.
Here are the names of the first eight, for your convenience:
Millennium Puzzle
Millennium Eye
Millennium Necklace
Millennium Key
Millennium Scales
Millennium Rod
Millennium Ring
The Pyramid of Light
However, they are subjects for another day, and now it's time to proceed with the story about their ninth brother.
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Ammon sat on his throne, before four of his loyal shadow puppets. Their names were Razoul, Scoby, Minkth, and Dextel. All five beings were filled with hatred of some of the most prominent duelists in the world, including Yugi Mutuo..
"Servants, cronies, sycophants, whatever you wish to be called, today is our day for attacking our enemies," Ammon said, confidently.
"But the best monster in my deck is Uraby!" Dextel whined.
"However, you have a ton of Dinosaur support, which I gave you yesterday. Today's a perfect day to attack."
"How is it going to be different from any other day?" Scoby wondered.
"Because we have this!" Ammon said, holding up a cylindrical white package.
"Uh...boss, I don't think a loaf of bread is going to help us win," Minkth said, matter-of-factly.
"What's in the package is not a loaf of bread - it's a millennium item!"
"Okay, if you say so, but how is that going to help us?" Scoby asked.
"Because it has the power to make whoever's holding it the best duelist in the world!" Ammon replied, triumphantly.
"Great! Which one of us is going to get it?" Scoby asked.
"I say me; I have the weakest deck!" Dextel exclaimed.
"No! No one is getting it; at least none of you Shadow Puppets! This is meant as a trap."
"A trap, boss?" Scoby asked. (Scoby was the most inquisitive one.)
"Yes, a trap. What we're going to do is leave this here package outside a barn on the road called Ladursky. Some bum is going to pick it up, and become the greatest duelist on Earth."
"Why let some bum become so powerful and leave us-" Minkth began.
"Because I say so, that's why! Now, Razoul, I want you to deliver the package; you are the most responsible one."
"I would be honored, sir," Razoul replied, reaching for it.
"Hold on," Ammon said, impatiently, for Dextel was dancing around the room with a Duel Monsters card he had picked up off the ground. "I want you to make sure that the person who receives the millennium item is not Zoole the baker."
"Why not him?"
"Because he'll mess up all our plans. Believe me, I know."
"Okay, boss," Razoul said, this time really receiving the package.
"Now, my Shadow Puppets, one final message. You guys are to go to the bank in Chevvy, and there stay put until Razoul completes his task. Razoul, you will report to said bank afterwards, and all four will await further instructions. Clear?"
"Si," they all said.
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As promised, Razoul left the package on Ladursky road, but he did not obey the last order regarding it. That is, he didn't make sure Zoole the baker was not the recipient before he Apparated to the bank in Chevvy.
Eventually a man saw the package in the ground and picked it up. He examined it very carefully. The front of the package had large golden letters on it, which read: The Millennium Rye, Very Fragile. There was also a message underneath it:
"The possessor of this artifact will be the best duelist in the world."
Oh boy, the man thought. Now I can duel anyone in the world, and win!
The man searches everywhere for an opponent: the Dueling Rink, the Duel Monsters Hideaway, a store that sold nothing but Duel Monsters products, and even Duel Next, a new place for dueling. No one was anywhere. Finally, he met a kid with bright, sun-dried hair on the road called Insurn. They duelled.
Twenty minutes later, the man was furious. His Dark Necrofear had been destroyed by the kid's Lightning Vortex. Then Flame Wingman attacked him directly, after which De-Fusion was played and E-Hero Burstinatrix and E-Hero Avian attacked him for game.
"But I'm the best duelist in the world!" he shouted in frustration.
The kid just ran away, laughing.
The man began to cry. Even a stupid millennium item couldn't make him a better duelist.
"Stop crying, you, and pick yourself up!" shouted a small, green cricket carrying an umbrella.
"Jiminy, what are you doing here?" the man asked, sheepishly.
"I'm here because I'm your conscience. Since you started using that new deck of yours, it's been very hard to contact you. Why did you change?"
"You know very well why I changed! It was her! I lost to Esmerelda in our match, and I couldn't stand the humiliation! So I changed my deck-type to make it stronger."
"That was a really stupid move," the cricket said. "How are you supposed to win with DARK monsters when you're so full of life? I would've thought you were better than that."
"But DARK monsters always win! Dark Magician, and Exodia, and Red Eyes Black Dragon, Time Wizard...and...and..."
"Blue Eyes White Dragon?" the cricket offered.
"Yes!" the man exclaimed.
"Blue Eyes is a LIGHT monster."
"Oh...right."
"Now, let me tell you why you lost. DARK monsters are not your style. Sure, they are unavoidable in the best decks, but you can't have a deck dominated by them. So go get your old deck, and trust me, you'll become the best duelist on Earth."
The man obeyed his "concience" and went home to get his old deck.
After that, he searched for an opponent, and once again duelists were scarce. Finally, he met a girl with long, purple hair, and asked her if she knew anything about Duel Monsters.
"Do I? I'd have to be an imbecile if I didn't; my Auntie Rebecca Hawkins taught me."
The man began to sweat. Rebecca Hawkins? She's one of the best duelists in her field! I can't duel her niece!
"Yes, you can," the cricket said, so softly that only the man could hear. "You have the Millennium Rye."
"Oh, right. Well, then Beauty, I challenge you to a duel!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't duel a stranger."
"Then I guess I'll have to make myself a familiar," the man said, while the cricket smacked his head. "My name is Zoole the baker. You can just call me Baker."
"And I'm Mary Frances Nolan. I prefer to be called Francie, however, if you don't mind."
"Why not, babe?" the baker said.
"My god, he's in love with her!" the cricket exclaimed, unable to believe that he had to work with this incompetent fool.
4000/4000
Francie: Let me start things off by summoning Luster Dragon in attack mode! Then I'll set two cards face-down and end my turn!
Baker: Great, my sweet! I'll just summon Mystic Tomato in attack mode, and set three face-down cards. Then it's your go.
Francie: Fine! Luster Dragon attacks your Mystic Tomato!
Baker: Not so fast! Reveal face-down card, Heinz 57 Ketchup Blaster! This handy-dandy card can only be activated when I have a Mystic Tomato or a Hungry Burger on my side of the Field! One of your monsters is destroyed, and in its place, you can Special Summon 1 Level 5 or above Normal Monster from your Deck.
Francie: Then I Special Summon Luster Dragon #2, and attack you with it!
Baker: You can't attack, due to my trap card's effect, which says that any monster Special Summoned by its effect cannot attack during the turn it is summoned.
Francie: Whatever. Just make your move.
Baker: I shall. And I'll start by summoning Yeast Dread Roll (Level 2/EARTH/ Zombie/ATK 500 DEF 300) in attack mode! Then I'll activate my face-down card, The League of Uniform Nomenclature, to summon two more Yeast Dread Rolls from my Deck!
Three ugly, dried up bread rolls now stood next to a tomato with a horrifying grin. They were all facing a shining dragon, and only the dragon was pleasant to look at.
Baker: And that's just for starters. For now I equip Chthonian Alliance to one of my Yeast Dread Rolls, increasing his attack to 2100!
Francie: It's still not strong enough to beat my Luster Dragon #2!
Baker: Ah, but it will be, my sweet. For now I have Mystic Tomato attack your dragon!
Francie: But it'll be destroyed!
Baker: Do you think I care? Or maybe I want it to be. Now, do it, Extreme Juicy Haze!
Francie: Luster Dragon #2, counter with Legendary Diamond Strike.
The horrible tomato spun like a top and sent its juice toward the shining dragon, but the latter deflected it. Shards of glass seemed to pour from the dragon's mouth and fall on the tomato, which made it look like it was having a muscle spasm.
3000/4000
Baker: Now I can Special Summon from my Deck, the almighty Country Crock - Cinnamon (Level 4/DARK/Fairy/ATK 1400/DEF 1000) in attack mode! And you know what that means!
Francie: Actually, I don't.
Baker: It means that all of my yeast rolls get my new monster's full attack points added to their own, for this turn anyways. So my strongest one now has 3500 ATK points, and he attacks your Luster Dragon #2!
Francie winces as her dragon goes down.
3000/2900
Baker: And know my other two Yeast Dread Rolls can attack you directly!
Francie: Not if I can help it! Activate Hallowed Life Barrier! By discarding just 1 card from my hand, I can escape all damage this turn.
Baker: Wow, you're a great duelist, you know that, Francie?
She ignores him. This is exactly what happened last time, Jiminy thinks. He fell in love with Esmeralda and threw the match to her.
Francie: Now I summon Don Zaloog, and have him attack one of your 500ATK Dread Rolls!
A man with short purple hair appeared on the field, and attacked one of the ugly Zombies as his master ordered. The breadlike substance shrieked in horror as it was slashed with Zaloog's slender sword.
Francie: Now, thanks to his effect, you must remove two cards from the top of your Deck. Then I set one face-down card, and end my turn.
2100/2900
Baker: I summon The Bistro Butcher! Then I activate my face-down card, Next to be Lost, to send 1 'The Bistro Butcher' from my Deck to the Graveyard.
Francie: Why the heck would you want to do that?
Baker: Eh...don't worry about my motive for such things, sweet. Just watch me play cards. Now, I activate Gather Your Mind! This allows me to grab another Gather Your Mind from my Deck! Isn't that simply awesome!
Francie: Your strategy doesn't seem to make any sense at all.
Baker: It doesn't, eh? Well, we'll see about that. The Bistro Butcher, attack Don Zaloog!
The fiendish chef with blue skin Baker had just summoned vibrated with life as he took his butchering sword and tried to make salami out of Don Zaloog.
2100/2500
Baker: Now, Country Crock - Cinnamon and my two remaining Dread Rolls attack you directly!
Francie: Hah! Activate Mirror Force to destroy all your monsters!
Baker: Why didn't you use that before The Bistro Butcher attacked you?
Francie: Why else? I wanted the free cards.
Baker: You are really smart, Francie.
Francie: Enough flattery, and it's my move! Now this is something! I summon Sea Serpent Warrior of Darkness in attack mode and have him attack you directly!
A sea monster wielding a trident appeared and did as his master bid.
0300/2500
Francie: Then I set two cards face-down and end my turn.
Baker: I need something really good. (He draws.)
Jiminy, looking over his shoulder says, "Perfect just what you needed."
Baker: Okay, I activate Gather Your Mind again, getting my third and last Gather Your Mind. Then I set one monster face-down.
A horizontal board appeared in front of Baker.
Francie: My move. And I summon Amazoness Paladin in attack mode! And thanks to her effect, she gains 100 ATK points for each Amazoness on the field. Then I have my Sea Serpent attack your face-down!
Baker: Thank you, my sweet. You see, you just destroyed my Nimble Momonga, and that means that I gain 1000 LP!
1300/2500
Baker: But that's not all! Two more face-down Nimble Momongas take the place of the one that was just lost!
Francie: Well, one's about to get a ticket straight to the Graveyard. My Amazoness Paladin attacks it.
Baker: Oh, boo hoo! Another 1000 LP to me!
2300/2500
Francie: Just go!
Baker: Gladly, my sweet. And now I draw, then set one face-down card. Activate Emergency Provisions to destroy my face-down and gain yet another 1000 LP!
Francie: Oh no, that's not going to work. Activate face-down, Magic Jammer! By discarding one card from my hand, your spell fails!
Baker: Oh well, you can't blame a man for trying. I end my turn.
Jiminy shakes his head. "You better hope she destroys your face-down card, because you need to be field-less and hand-less, and have exactly twenty cards in your Graveyard, before the Millenium Rye can activate."
Baker: You told me before!
Francie (thinking he's addressing her): I told you what before?
Baker: Never mind.
Francie: Well, anyways, I sacrifice my Amazoness Paladin in order to summon Airknight Parshath! Then I activate my face-down card, Call of the Haunted, to Special Summon Luster Dragon from my Grave! And now I activate Stamping Destruction, to destroy your face-down card along with 500 of your Life Points!
Baker: I was hoping you'd rid my field of that card.
Francie: But it was just Gather Your Mind, wasn't it? There was nothing special about it, surely?
Baker: No, nothing special.
Francie: Oh, whatever. Airknight Parshath attacks your face-down!
Baker: Yay! I get 1000 LP!
Francie: And then lose 1800.
Baker: How's that? My monster was in defense mode.
Francie: And my Airknight takes out Life Points whenever it destroys a monster in defens mode.
Baker: Oh...right.
1000/2500
Francie: Then, since I'm very generous, I won't have my other monsters attack you, this turn.
Baker: Thank you.
Francie: But I will activate Goblin Thief, to raise my Life Points by 500 and decrease yours by the same amount. That's all for now.
0500/3000
Suddenly, the Millenium Rye begins to glow a bright gold. The baker's appearance changes to that of a very tall, slender man with an aquiline nose and long dark hair. His sidewhiskers reminded one of Elvis Presley. His voice became a deep tenor, nothing like what he had been using his whole life. Even his Duel Disk changed. It was now blood-red and even looked like the inside of a person's heart, with aorta, ventricles, and such. His deck was glowing as well. Francie was astonished, and sort of grossed out at the look of the Duel Disk.
Yami Baker: Now I draw! Ah...I activate Card of Sanctity!
Francie: How do you have a card that powerful in your deck?
Yami Baker: I didn't until a few seconds ago. But now we must each draw until we have six cards in our hands. Now, I'm no meterologist, but I think there's a 100 chance that there'll be a Heavy Storm blowing in! Ah, look, here it comes now!
A spell card showing whirling winds and a few windswept monsters appeared on the Field. All of Francie's Spells and Traps were destroyed, as well as Luster Dragon.
Yami Baker: I Special Summon Cyber Dragon! If that weren't enough, here comes Raigeki to clear the field of excessive baggage!
A quick flash of lightning struck Airknight Parshath and Francie's Sea Serpent.
Yami Baker: Now you are Defense-less! I summon La Jinn, Mystical Genie of the Lamp from my Hand! Unfortunately, I'm very generous just like you are, and I activate Card Destruction to destroy one of my cards and all six of yours!
They both draw their new cards.
Francie: I get to summon my Watapon, since it can be summoned whenever it's drawn.
Yami Baker: Big deal, for now, my sweet, I activate Pot of Greed! Two more cards from my Deck. Ah, perfect. Activate Magical Dimension! By sacrificing my La Jinn, I can Summon Dark Magician Girl from my hand, and destroy your Watapon to boot!
Francie: No! I shouldn't have given you a chance!
Yami Baker: Hey, you had no way of knowing that my Deck could get this powerful! Now, Cyber Dragon and Dark Magician Girl, attack Francie directly!
0500/0000
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Miles away and just after the baker had drawn Card of Sanctity Yugi Mutuo was in a duel with Razoul.
Aunt Jemina? Yugi wonders, puzzled at the card he just drew. I didn't put this in my deck! Perhaps Joey... Oh well; I'll deal with him later.
"I activate Monster Reborn! And I choose to bring back my Dark Magician!"
A few minutes passed, and when no spellcaster came to answer the call, the King of Games began to get worried. "I said, return from the Graveyard, Dark Magician!"
Not responding, the Duel Disk read.
"Not responding? What's wrong with this thing? Oh well, I'll just revive Beta the Magnet Warrior!"
Still not responding.
"WHAT?!? That is it! I've had it! It's like none of my monsters exist in my Graveyard anymore! O.K., all I can do is revive your Blindly Loyal Goblin, Razoul."
"As you wish, King of Games," the Shadow Puppet jeered.
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Ammon witnessed the duel with Yugi, and smiled. The plan had worked.