Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them, which means I shouldn't be torturing Ginji so much. But it's fun, and I'm not making money off it.
Notes: No, this isn't a pairing fic. Just involves a character dynamic which makes me laugh, and is shockingly fun to write.
I thought people knew this, but since it's come up a couple times in reviews - in the manga, Paul does hook Ban and Ginji up with an apartment at some point. At least, I've been told so by two different people who have more of it than I do. So in this fic, nope, they're not living in their car. ;)
Birthday Surprise
"Happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me..." Ginji was singing to himself under his breath as he leaned over to investigate the underside of the table. "Happy birthday, dear Ginji..." A moment later, he was down on the floor, ear pressed against the ground, as he peered under the couch.
"...Hm, still nothing." Ginji stood again, brushing himself off, and looked around the room. Ban definitely had gotten him a present, because he'd warned Ginji against any snooping around. But since Ban was out running errands, and Shido and Kazuki had left after wishing him well... Well, he wouldn't have to pretend to be happy about anything Ban had gotten him, Ginji reasoned. So it wouldn't matter if he found his present a little early, so long as Ban believed he was surprised. "Maybe... he could have buried it in the laundry," he mused. "Silly Ban-chan."
Getting a wide grin, he was about to duck into the washroom, when a knock came on the door. Ginji stopped short before realizing that it wasn't Ban - Ban would have just let himself in. The knock was lighter than Ban's, too. Maybe Kazuki had come back, or Natsumi-chan wanted to wish him well too, Ginji thought, going to answer.
The smile slipped from his face immediately as he pulled the door open. Standing before him in the hallway was a tall, slender figure, dressed all in black. Ginji almost shrieked as the dark-clothed man before him reached up to tug at his hat in greeting.
Ginji's throat tightened, and he only barely managed to choke out a shocked "Akabane-san!"
"Good evening, Ginji-kun."
Akabane smiled at him in a frighteningly friendly manner, and Ginji was frozen in terror. "W...why are you here...?"
"I don't make a habit of stopping by people's homes uninvited," Akabane told him, "but I overheard Shido and Kazuki talking, and it seems that today is your birthday...?"
Backing slowly away from the door, Ginji nodded, though he barely comprehended the words. And what a birthday surprise this is...
"Thank you..." Akabane took his backing away as an invitation, and stepped inside, removing his shoes as he glanced around the small, sparsely furnished apartment. "Hmm, what a cozy home you and your partner have."
"We like it..." Ginji said faintly, backing up further to place the table between himself and Akabane. "S-so... what brings you here...? To me and B-Ban-chan's apartment...?"
"Since I heard it was your birthday..." Akabane produced a brown paper box, tied with a large white bow, from within his coat. "I thought I would bring you a little something."
Trembling, Ginji just barely stopped himself from asking if it was a bomb. "A p-present? That's... th-that's very thoughtful," he managed, secretly still suspecting it was a bomb.
"A present? Oh, no..." Ginji found himself with his back against the wall as Akabane took a step closer, setting the box down on the table next to him. "I'm afraid I didn't know what you might like. And so I brought you a cake."
"A... c-c-c-cake...!?"
"You do like cake, don't you?" Akabane asked with a smile, pulling the ribbon free.
"Uh, uhm, yes...?" Ginji tried not to cringe as Akabane began to unfold the box. Knowing Akabane, the cake would probably be black... and not nice deep chocolatey brown, but black. Decorated with little skulls or something - probably real skulls, too - and oozing red jelly...
"Voila."
Ginji stared. The cake was... white, decorated with swirls and peaks of frosting. It had little pink roses, and fancy pink letters which spelled out:
Ginji-kun
"Well?" Akabane asked, his smile prim and friendly. "Do you like it?"
There were little pink hearts, too. Ginji thought that this might actually be more frightening than if Akabane-san had brought him a black oozing cake with skulls on it. "H-heh heh... it's... very pretty..."
Akabane seemed pleased. "Thank you - I spent a great deal of time making sure it looked just right."
"Y-you... made it yourself?" Ginji tried hard not to whimper. "It's... it's... unbelievable..."
"Thank you very much. I hope you like strawberry," Akabane continued, not noticing the look on Ginji's face as he produced a few candles - also pink - and began to place them on the cake, spacing them perfectly. "It seemed like a flavor that would appeal to you. So light, and fresh, and natural..."
"Y-yes... I like strawberry," Ginji managed, sinking weakly into the chair on the opposite side of the table, as far away from Akabane as he could get without actually leaving the room.
Akabane's face, shadowed beneath his hat, was illuminated for just a moment as a match's flame flared up, and Akabane lit the candles quickly. "Well now, Ginji-kun - make a wish," he instructed Ginji, pushing the cake across the table to him.
I wish Ban-chan would get home... I wish Akabane-san would leave! Trying to collect himself, Ginji blew as hard as he could manage, though his breath was uneven and shaky with fear.
"Oh, that's too bad," Akabane murmured, peering at the one candle that Ginji hadn't blown out, as he pulled the cake back over towards himself. "It looks as if your wish won't come true so easily." With a gentle puff of breath, he blew the remaining candle out himself, and Ginji let his head drop onto the table in despair.
His head shot up again at the distinctive sound of metal sliding free of cloth - and he froze as he found Akabane with scalpel in hand. "Do you remember this scalpel, Ginji-kun?" he asked casually, raising it towards Ginji.
He's going to kill me... Ginji shook his head, terrified. He's going to kill me he's going to kill me he came here just to finally kill-
Lowering his eyes, Akabane brought the scalpel down - slicing through the cake. It came out with bits of strawberry and white frosting stuck to the blade. "It nearly impaled you when we first met. Ah, the memories..." he chuckled softly, slicing into the cake again.
"O...Oh... S-so that's the... the same..." Ginji couldn't manage to do more than stammer as Akabane lifted a neatly-cut wedge of cake and placed it on a plate. As the plate was set in front of him, he stared in horrid fascination at how... smoothly... the scalpel had cut through it. In fact, right through one of the pink frosting roses, without mussing it in the least.
Akabane had cut himself a slice of the cake as well, and finally he sat down across from Ginji. "Shall we?" he asked, lifting his fork.
Ginji shook his head weakly. "I... I think I'd rather not right now..." Akabane could have poisoned it... or he could have intended this as a last meal...
Akabane frowned slightly, and Ginji cringed as he realized that he had probably insulted him. After all, Akabane-san had probably slaved over a hot stove all day, and spent so much time making the little pink roses...
"Oh, of course," Akabane said suddenly, smiling again. "You'd like to wait for your partner, so we can all eat cake together. Am I correct?"
Staring across the table at his scary, soft-spoken guest, Ginji weighed his options. He could eat the cake, and possibly be poisoned... or Akabane could stay in their apartment, alone with him, until Ban came home - whenever that was. Akabane could end up staying until after nightfall...
Unable to stifle a whimper this time, Ginji raised his fork and broke off the very tip of his slice of cake. "N-no... It's all right to eat without him. Ban-chan didn't say when he'd be getting back..." Very slowly, his shaking fingers began to lift the forkful of cake to his mouth.
"Very well, then." In contrast to Ginji's slow, careful movements, Akabane broke off a bite of cake and lifted it to his lips. "Mm... delicious, if I do so say so myself."
Well, if Akabane was eating it, Ginji thought to himself, staring down at the quivering morsel, it probably wasn't poisoned, at least. Keeping that thought firmly in mind, Ginji gulped, and quickly stuffed the fork into his mouth.
He froze, and then blinked. Akabane's cake was...
"What do you think, Ginji-kun?" Akabane asked pleasantly.
"It's... very good," Ginji mumbled around the fork, still stuck in his mouth. Removing it, he chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed. "I-I think... this is the best cake I've ever had."
Akabane gave him a pleased smile, and took another bite. "You flatter me, Ginji-kun."
"No, no, I'm serious," Ginji insisted, his eyes wide. "It's really s-surprisingly good!" He was torn between being enthralled by the cake's flavor, or being all that much more disturbed by the discovery that Akabane was good at cooking very delicious strawberry cake, as well as killing people with small sharp objects. Trying to calm himself, he took another bite, and then another. It made him all that much more confused... but it certainly did taste good.
They ate in tense silence - Ginji staring across the table at Akabane in fearful amazement, and Akabane peering back with a companionable smile. Finally, when Akabane had finished his slice of cake, he sat back from the table. "Mmm... that was refreshing."
"Y-yes... it was." Ginji swallowed his last bite of cake, and was surprised to find himself disappointed when he looked down and saw none remaining.
The legs of Akabane's chair scraped on the floor as the man stood up. "Would you like another piece, then? You still look hungry."
Ginji came back to his senses with a start; having another piece right now would mean that Akabane would stay in his apartment for even longer. The thought made him much less hungry all of a sudden. "N-no thanks... I-I think someone might wanna take me out later... since it's my birthday and all. Ban-chan will be mad if I ruin my appetite..."
"Oh, of course." Akabane pushed the chair back up to the table and turned to the door. "I'll be off, I suppose. Do enjoy the rest of your birthday, Ginji-kun."
"I... I'm sure I will..." Ginji stood up to see him to the door, breathing a sigh of relief when Akabane put his shoes on, indicating that he really was leaving. "Er... thanks again for the cake..."
"You're welcome." As Akabane stepped outside the door, he turned back and smiled. "And don't worry about the plate - I'll be back to pick it up in a few days. Goodbye..."
Ginji waved and closed the door behind him - and then slid down against the wall, sobbing into his hands. He was coming back?