The Second Glance
Disclaimer: I own nothing of the mentalist...yet like everyone else, love playing with the characters...*TEE*
A/N: First of all, I have to emphasize that I am a HUGH fan of Jisbon(Jane/Lisbon) since its very first pilot and I do wish there would be much more between them. They're such perfect soul match, right?...As for this fiction…it's just...I'm kinda fond of the tense that Cho has…Can you imagine people being so serious about every time?…It's adorable, isn't it? Where did he get that?…When you add some Janeish-wicked smile to it…I just cannot help giggling...That's how this fiction comes out...Hope you like it! *HEE*
Slash: Patrick J./Kimball C.
Setting: After Season 3 Finale, possibly non-canon for Season 4
Credit：Lots of thanks to my beta, Jinxauthor Mel(.net/u/438611/Jinxauthor_Mel)...for her creativeness, patience, generosity and kindness!...I couldn't done it without her!^^
Chapter One
Lightly sitting on the brown couch, continually distracted by all the people coming in and out, absently thumbing through the magazine in his hands, Jane was disturbed by certain things…
The squeaking sound of the turning papers, at that intensive repeated rhythm, was really really annoying. "Jane!" Van Pelt finally lost her tolerance, "What exactly are you looking for?"
"Wwh...what?" Jane hesitated, due to distraction.
"In the magazine!" Van Pelt specified the question.
"Oh!" Jane was relieved and raised his voice to reassure, "Nothing! Ermm…just staying bored."
With frowned eyebrows, Van pelt clearly doubted his words. Jane opened his mouth, trying to explain more, but his common sense persuaded him otherwise. He knew that anything else would do nothing but to prove her suspicion. Instead of making things more complicated, Jane awarded her a big simple smile…Actually, the smile was so bright that Van Pelt felt a chill crawling up and down her spine. She shrugged her shoulder and replied instinctively, "Never mind!"
Again, the office fell back into the various noises of clicking, squeaking, rustling and so on. Buried amongst those, even the sound of a dropping glass may be insignificant, but the sound of a beating heart could be clearly heard, if you stood close enough to someone...
You have to admit that women do have a talent called the sixth sense. Jane's eyes had been continually checking through the glass windows since the second Haffner stopped Cho at the other end of the hall. He'd felt more than disappointed when he at first had assumed they'd come in together. He didn't know how it started, but the idea of Cho walking along with another man just frustrated him. Then he'd caught the seriousness on Haffner's face, which usually wasn't a good sign. Seeing those two entering the supervisor's office, Jane's heart sped up unreasonably. He couldn't hear what they were talking about in that office, but he could sense the chemistry from their body languages. Every sign of movement in that room intensified Jane's nervousness, especially with Cho's shoulders tightening muscle by muscle…
No need to see Cho's paled face, Jane presumed, yet he couldn't understand why; in spite of all the people, why Cho? Cho should be the last person to look for, if Haffner was genuinely smart enough to know how to set up a mole. He was damned certain about that, not because Cho was a member of the team, but because Cho was Cho, which was exactly what he was worried about. To people like him, a favor like that could be an utter insult; not to mention he was never the extroverted type.
Just as those thoughts hovered around Jane's head, a certain familiar figure appeared at the other end of the hall, slid around the corner, and quickly disappeared through the kitchen doorway.
Thanks to the unconsciously boiling blood in his veins, Jane caught these images immediately. He stood up, took a deep breath, stretched his legs and smiled at Van Pelt: "I'm gonna take a walk!" Then he stepped out of the office.
"Sure!" Van Pelt didn't even bother to look up from the screen, as if he wasn't really talking to her.
It was only a few steps from the staff office to the kitchen corner. It was only seconds passing from one's presence to one's absence. And it was only words lying between one abyss and another…Was it true that you have to subvert everything just to get restarted? What about the things you had been treasuring for so long? What about the faith that had been supporting you so far? What about the life you had been living vividly? What about them?...Jane had been thinking a lot after the deaths of his wife and daughter, a lot about how to conduct his revenge, but he never thought about what after. Life seemed simply at an end then; but it wasn't. At the mall, after the shooting, when he was sipping the bitterness out of the coffee, for a few seconds, there had been the image of one person rushing into his head, one person, one particularly person…Then everything else just flooded by like a slide show…the broken tension every time he talked, the well-covered smile under his every indifference, the smooth voice at any situation and the longing focus every time Jane turned his face away…He didn't know how all these came up at that moment. He even laughed at himself about it. But when he got back to the bureau, faintly heard him talking to Rigsby in the hall, he suddenly realized how much he'd missed him and all those features…Right now, that man was making coffee at the table. Barely yards away standing in front of him, it just made Jane feel comfortable. He leaned against the doorjamb and quietly enjoyed it, wishing time could just stop…
Maybe it was the familiar longing that centered on him, maybe it was the warmth that it expressed, or maybe it was so-called telepathy. Cho felt something and raised his head, glancing around the kitchen, and finally aimed his gaze to the doorway. The one whom he'd been expecting for days and nights was actually comfortably leaning there, like an illusion come solidly true. The ecstasy it brought was way beyond his anticipation. Half in trance he involuntarily whispered: "Hi!"
Jane smiled, like a "hero" returning in triumph, finally meeting his one ever-after, and replied the same word: "Hi!"
The same word…it was the most funny thing in the world. When someone returned to you the same word, most of the time, you ignored it; sometimes, you hated it; rarely, you loved it; hardly ever, you were expecting it…Cho wasn't sure what was the case for himself right now; or maybe he knew it, just refused to admit it…He blinked his own eyes, trying to seize his common sense back, and diverted: "How are you?"
"Well..." Jane answered quite contented, "Fine!...Almost!" Then he pointed to the coffee pot, "Could I get one cup of those?"
"Coffee?" Cho queried puzzled. "I thought you preferred tea!", he teased without any emotion.
Jane grinned…gently, like a wave on the ocean: "I could use a change."
Seconds later another cup of coffee was drawn and placed – on the other side of the table.
A twitch flashed at the corner of Jane's mouth immediately, yet disappeared instantly…The distance, the habit of keeping it, poked Jane in the softest spot every time he restarted to feel…It was like a keep-away sign which constantly reminded him that everything you saw behind it was nothing but delusion…He really wanted to slap himself right now, for ever missing, ever longing for, and always surrendering to this man, this ungrateful stonehearted ruthless creature…He put on his branded fake smile and kept telling himself to cool down…Love was never about mercy, right? It slaved all human beings; no one could stay out of it, even if he was Patrick Jane…
"Any sugar?" Cho's voice intruded before Jane could finalize his introspection.
"No!" Jane retorted, then took a deep breath and stated, "No sugar…just like yours!"
Glancing between Jane and his black coffee, Cho folded his arms and waited…
No need to clarify its meaning, Jane knew that gesture well. He took a spoon, stirred it in the coffee, circle by circle...And when the air around was hot up enough, he just took a sip then put it down. Cho lost in a blank for one second, but after seeing the frown from Jane' eyebrows, he just smiled out. Nothing was said, but both had expressed enough.
Cho shook his head and passed him the sugar.
With a light smile, Jane passed it back gracefully.
"There is no need to bear that bitter..." Cho emphasized, "It's not something trying could get you used to!"
"I know what I am dealing with…" Jane challenged mildly.
Cho sighed but didn't offer any further words.
Jane could feel the lump squirming in his throat; he tried to articulate it but failed on a blank breath. The ache behind those blue eyes was so clear, yet so ineffective on the one he was pursuing…For the first time in his life, Jane felt drowned.
"How…" after a few minutes' struggling, Jane finally rolled out a topic: "How…is it going with Haffner?"
Cho got confused: "What about him?"
"Err…" Jane cleared his throat, "Earlier…I saw you come out his office…"
"So?" Raising his voice, Cho was obviously annoyed.
"He's…he's not…a righteous man. You…don't have to put up with him…for…anything…at all…" Jane explained.
Cho didn't catch his words at the first thought, but when he realized what Jane was talking about, his face turned cold immediately. But still, no single word ever escaped from him…Silence, with its own sentiments, spread out like an explosion…
"Okay!" Jane finally gave up, "I get it! The only reason that Haffner looked for you is because he needs a mole inside of our team. But I can bet my life on it that you'd never do that for him. So, don't bother yourself about it! Just ignore him!"
Cho's eyes narrowed, yet his voice sounded detached: "How did you know he'd ask for me?"
Jane lost his speech, again…
"Sshit!" a swear came out of Jane's mouth at length.
"Did I always give people that kind of impression or…is it merely…what you see in me?" Cho pushed.
"It's…it's not…not what I mean..." Jane mumbled, "you know that…"
"What did you mean then?" Cho pressed harder.
Shock, confusion, bewilderment and denial alternately appeared on Jane's face and trepidation gradually covered his eyes…A bit of his heart felt broken and it hurt too much to bear. He never felt so helpless, not even when he was buried by the grief of his family's death… People always said that men were more cruel and selfish than women, even to their own family; maybe they were. But at a certain point, they could be much more brutal to themselves…Because it was not what we saw defined that we understood, it was what we understood that limited what we saw…If the loss of his family taught Jane the essence of life itself, then it must also have taught him all the possibilities of losing that essence…"I thought…I thought…", Jane was desperate to find a proper word to describe the situation, but no word seemed to fit it, "I thought…I thought…"
"Don't judge people by what you thought!" Cho concluded for him.
If any regret had ever existed in Jane's heart earlier, then right now, Cho's hostility had completely knocked them all out…The agony was the only feeling left with Jane, which was absolutely blinding…
"It's…about Lisbon, isn't it?", Jane couldn't help inquire.
"Wwhat?" Cho almost shouted out…He couldn't believe what he'd just heard, nor understand how a third irrelevant person had ever been brought in between them…Maybe he should be delighted, because those words might literally represent a sort of jealousy; or maybe he should be furious, because Jane mistook his heart so widely that…God knew how he linked these two together! The two who had no similarity at all! – Wait!…They did! They did fall for the same person…They did both fall for…Cho fell entirely speechless…
"Just tell me…" Jane pursued boldly, "would things be different…" like a child who wouldn't give up until he got the treat, "if…if it was Hightower or LaRoche?"
You'd never believe how wasted your affection could ever be unless one day you actually confronted it…Cho was struggling…He wanted to shut Jane down completely, yet couldn't bear to do so…No one knew Jane's real state when he buried his wife and daughter; no one knew how he spent that week in the cemetery all alone; no one even knew how he'd held up through all that. There's always been gossip about him around, but never been confirmed and Jane never told a single word. People just heard that Jane vanished, like a snap in the air, then weeks later, he popped out with sun-shining smiles…No one knew what had happened to him. But one thing they did know was that he was different from then on…The smile would never be away from his face, where the bitterness was rarely found again. It was like he got a brain-wash, but everyone knew it was not...Between the delight and the sorrow lay the real Patrick Jane…soundly disguised, shielded and isolated…Now, for the first time, this man waved that olive branch, reaching out for an answer, an answer he probably deserved to know…How could anyone refuse him, not to mention…Thinking of this, Cho closed his eyes, took a deep breath and delivered his statement: "No!... Everyone else matters too!"
"Really?" Jane followed without any hesitation.
The winds' direction reversed so suddenly that it completely struck Cho down…Because it wasn't just a plain question; doubting his words, his between-the-line confession, like this, was the same as doubting his integrity…Exasperation became the only emotion he wore…
People always said that if you never experienced a nightmare, then you'd never know the feeling when you finally woke up…Cho's wrath was like the warm hugs Jane used to get from his mom when he had nightmares as a child. It was comforting rather than annoying. Kind of humorous that people would think that way, right? So if you paid enough attention, you'd see the wicked smile just flashing at the corner of Jane's mouth and know his seeming offense for the ploy it was.
Disregarding Cho's statement, Jane decided to put more wood to the burning fire and push Cho toward the edge of the cliff. He held his breath, grabbing the break before Cho could speak again, and announced: "Never mind…"
Like a thunder growling in the sky, the expression on Cho's face was beyond frightening. He stared directly into Jane's eyes without blinking, trying to find something telling himself different…But all he could see was nothing but coldness…He didn't believe it, or refused to…With clenched fists and beating chest, Cho took one step closer, trying to read them clearer…And one step more, and more…
Jane smiled…Yes, besieged by all the killing annoyance, Jane could still maintain his manner…Miracle, isn't it?..."Did you know…" with the sweetest tone you'd ever hear, Jane understated, "you always…always keep several steps away…from me…"
The clouds suddenly scattered off…To avoid the awkwardness; Cho attempted to step back but found himself stuck on the spot and couldn't even move an inch.
Slowly, Jane stepped one foot closer…
Cho could feel his back burning, like millions of ants crawling around…
"Do you believe in fate?" Jane tilted his head a bit and gently asked, "With so much coincidences…" he could feel Cho's breath on his own cheek, "the voice…" warm like the sunshine in the winter, "the accent…" his bitten lips, "the attitude…" reddish with temptation, "even…" he couldn't help lift his right hand and softly brushed Cho's cheeks, "…the curving of the smile…"
Cho was lost for words; actually he lost every function that a human body would ever have. He just stood there, perfectly still.
Jane was speechless, too. It was not that he didn't have any words; in fact, he had so many that no single one could precisely express his feelings right now. He chose to stay silent, to let someone know they had something alike…It's a bit like hoping if you treasure something well enough, you'd have it for eternity…
But things, sometimes, capriciously fall unto a different track, such like someone's entrance…
"Hi, guys!" Lisbon knocked herself in.
Cho bounced several steps back reflexively.
So did Jane secondly.
Without getting any response, Lisbon voiced her curiosity: "What's the silence?"
"Just got my coffee," Cho grabbed his cup and left the kitchen.
"Got mine!" Jane followed out.
Lisbon shrugged her shoulder, "It's nice to see you, too," then drew herself a cup.
(TBC)
PS: Haven't been chasing the fanfic for quite a while...I know…I'm a lazy person...*Hee*
Recently, happened to hear Shelton's song God Give Me You...*lovely lovely song BTW*…It indeed inspire me this fic…*gggggg*…Ignoring whether the relationship is true or not, I have to say Jane is really a blessed guy to have a friend like Lisbon…and Cho…Well, if his relationship with Cho would be that dramatic…I'd be ecstatic…*LOL*
Not everyone has the second chance to live again, I mean, vividly…You cannot call it a life, unless you are living on it…Right?
Well, I hope you like this fiction! Please R$R! ^^