Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist, no money from this

Author's Note: Hi guys, another one of those things I wrote ages (memory sticks are life savers) and decided to upload now to cheer myself up as my Dad's laptop kindly decided to delete the next chapter of Red Childhood (don't you just love computers?!) very angsty, not sure on rating...

"Damn!" Lisbon screamed furiously as she kicked the tire of the vehicle. Jane was leaning against a tree watching her with an amused expression. She had been trying to fix the car ever since it's broken down an hour ago, they couldn't call for help because there was no signal, Jane found it hilarious watching her getting more and more riled by the car.

"You could help me you know!" she snapped at him.

"I could," he grinned, "but what's the fun in that?"

"Do you want me to shoot you?!"

"It was your idea to take the scenic route," he reminded her.

"Only because traffic was so slow we wouldn't get there till the middle of the night! What is the point in interviewing a suspect in the middle of the night?" Jane just shrugged and she threw her hands in the air with frustration, "we're gonna have to try and find some help," and with that she veered off into the trees in a seemingly random direction, he hurried over to her.

"Shouldn't we stick to the main road?"

"No," Lisbon explained, she seemed to be calming down, "I saw the map and there's a town not far from-" her next words were cut off as she stepped off a cliff.

Jane frantically grabbed her hand as his panicked heart frantically began banging it's head against his ribs. She was suspened in mid air held up only by Jane's shaking hands, he could feel the sweat swamping them both as he saw the ocean crashing against a particulary jagged section of rocks below them. Far below them. Very far.

"Don't drop me Jane!" she yelled up, her frustration replaced by fear. He looked into her terrified tearful eyes, two beautiful emeralds set into her beautiful face.

"I won't," Jane whispered. Taking a deep breath he began to pull her up until she was safely beside him. To his surprise she started to cry and pulled her into an embrace, "it's okay," he whispered soothingly into her ear.

"I nearly died... I thought I was gonna die..." she sobbed onto his shoulder. Jane felt just as scared, he'd nearly lost her, Lisbon. His Lisbon. He pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes as her tears halted.

They gazed into each others eyes for a moment before leaning into a kiss, she kissed him back and he responded more passionately, so did she.

It was the middle of the night before their thoughts returned to getting help for the broken down car. Lisbon's head was nestled on his shoulder as she dozed quietly, Jane looked up at the thousands of tiny lights blinking above them in the sky. The waves rolled gently against the fierce cliff while the trees surrounding them blew in the gentle breeze, Jane felt so at peace as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Nature smiled at their ignorance, neither had any idea their actions had just concieved a child...

Jane lay on his couch. He glanced at Lisbon, she was in her office with her head bent over her desk, doing paperwork he guessed. He had really been avoiding Lisbon, well as much as was possible when they worked together, ever since that incident.

He just couldn't decide what to make of it. There was one half that told him it was alright, that told him he loved her, that told him his wife would be happy for him to move on then there was the other half that told him he should be ashamed of cheating on his wife, told him what he'd done was wrong, that told him there was no way he could possibly love her. Then there was the third part, the small sensible part that told him to stay away from her, told him Red John would find out and kill her, that part told him to forget it ever happened and everything would be okay. And finally was the smallest part, a little niggling feeling at the back of his head, that part told things he didn't want to hear.

He refused to believe that part. He protested daily that there were plenty of reasons for Lisbon to be ill, just because it looked exactly like his wife's morning sickness didn't mean it was. Looks can be decieving.

He hates that part. Lisbon could not be pregnant. It was impossible. There must be some sort of expiry date for having kids. Even if she was pregnant there was no way it could be his child, it was just impossible. The thought was utterly ridiculous, Lisbon was not pregnant. He was just being paranoid, jumping at shadows, reading too much into things, thinking too hard.

Lisbon was not pregnant!

The niggling part tutted quietly to itself, who was he trying to convince?

Jane watched from his couch as Lisbon hurried in, she was late. So intend was she on getting to her office she knocked into Van Pelt and a small bit of paper floated onto the floor. Lisbon didn't notice it however as Van Pelt apologized to her. Rigsby did, he bent down to pick it up and gasped as he saw it. Lisbon snatched it out of his hand and shoved it into her pocket.

"Boss, are you pregnant?" asked Van Pelt looking shocked. Lisbon shifted uncomfortably and sighed before replying.

"Yes."

Jane stalked over to her as the stunned team muttered their congratulations. Jane grabbed her roughly and half-dragged her into her office, he slammed the door behind him.

"You're pregnant," it was a statement not a question, "you're pregnant!" Jane yelled and Lisbon jumped as he shoved everything off her desk, "is it mine?!" he demanded.

"Yes," Lisbon replied looking completely dumbfounded.

"You didn't think to tell me?!" he roared at her, unable to control the rage inside him.

"I didn't know how you'd react," she muttered pathetically.

"Get rid of it," Jane demanded coldly as he lowered his voice, she looked indignant as she answered.

"No way!"

"It's my baby and I want it gone!" he yelled again slamming his fist onto the desk.

"Tough."

"This isn't fair! It's just a nightmare, a total nightmare!"

"That's this is? A nightmare to you?" Jane refused to see the tears Lisbon fought off and the pain in her eyes.

"Yes! It is, a horrible, horrible nightmare!" he screamed at her.

"Why Jane?" Lisbon asked as tears escaped her eyes, Jane ignored them.

"I didn't rape you Lisbon! It's your fault too, now get rid of it! It solves everything!" Jane realized he sounded hysterical but he didn't care.

"I am going to keep and love this baby whether you like it or not!" she cried, Jane stamped over to her and grabbed her arms.

"You love this thing do you?" Jane sneered as he locked eyes with each other, "when Red John finds out he's gonna to kill it. You'll come home one day and find the child you loved so much in a pool of it's own blood with it's little throat slit and it'll be your fault Lisbon. Don't let it get to that," he explained coldly, completely ignoring Lisbon's sobs.

"I'm going to go through with this, whether you like it or not."

"Fine!" Jane shouted as he stormed over to the door and it flung it open so hard it threatened to fall off it's hinges, "do whatever you want, I don't care!"

"Jane!" Lisbon called after him as she followed him as he continued at his brisk place in the direction of the elevator, "can't we just talk civilly about this?" she begged.

"NO!" Jane screamed as he charged into the elevator, "I HATE YOU AND OUR CHILD, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. EVER!"

The elevator doors shut but not before he saw Lisbon fall to her knees, while sobs wracked her body. His anger died as he saw that. He opened his mouth to tell her he was sorry, to tell her he was just upset and hadn't meant any of it, before he could the elevator doors slammed shut.

That would haunt him as much as Red John, except this time, there was no one to blame but himself...

Jane walked numbly through his deserted house up to his room and fell to his knees in front off the smiling face.

"Please tell me it's not true," he asked the silence, "please tell me it's not mine, please tell me she's not pregnant," the silence refused to answer him, "I'll do anything if you make it not happen, I'll do anything to turn back time, I'll do anything," more silence, "please!" he called out but no one could hear him.

Jane curled himself into a ball and cried.

He cried for his dead family. He cried for how horrible he'd treated the woman he loved. He cried for losing her, whether because of what he'd said, what he'd done or what Red John would do to her. He cried for the loss of his soon to be dead family. He just cried.

He cried and cried and cried until there was no more tears. Now he just felt hollow, as empty as his house.

Jane walked slowly into the CBI. Cold piercing eyes stared at him as he followed the route to see his team. They all knew what he'd said and done to Lisbon. They all hated him for it, like he hated himself.

"Hey guys," he said nervously to the team, they jusy glared at him as he walked into Lisbon's office, "hey," he said gently and Lisbon looked startled.

"What are you doing here?" she asked evenly.

"I came to apologize. I've been a bastard," Jane hung his head in shame, he couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes or the guilt would overwhelm him, "I've been so horrible to you and I'm sorry Teresa, so, so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, I've been so cruel... I was just upset because I didn't want to lose my family all over again."

Tears escaped his treacherous eyes but he couldn't bring himself to look at her, she stayed silent.

"I didn't mean what I said before. I don't hate you, I love you, I love you so much and I love our child too and I'm so sorry. I should not have have treated you like that, especially when you're carrying my child," Jane concluded.

"I'm not carrying your child," she said bluntly, Jane's head shot up as a hand gripped his heart digging it's claws in tightly. Had she lost it? Or worse had he believed her and got rid of it? "I'm carrying your children. It's twins."

Shock hit Jane like a speeding car. He felt his eyes roll back into his head as he fainted.

Author's Note: Please review, you know I love what you guys think and I this case I really need to know! I'm not sure if I should leave this as a one-shot or make it a multi-chapter fic, if you want that I have about 5 alternate endings you can choose from or if you want a sequel I could that, or maybe you think it sucks and don't give a damn. See why I need your help???